The Secret Lives of Emma: Beginnings

by Walker, Natasha

  ‘I’ve been kept too busy,’ answered Jason, before his mother could extol his virtues further. He was slowly dying inside.

  ‘And who will you take to the School Formal?’ asked Emma. ‘Or don’t you think about such things?’

  ‘He wants to take that young girl from Mosman High who lives near here.’

  ‘Jess?’

  ‘Yes. But I don’t think she would feel comfortable going. The other boys are asking Loreto and Monte girls,’ said his mother.

  ‘I haven’t asked anybody. I don’t think I’ll even go.’

  ‘You have to go,’ said his mother, stepping away and looking him up and down. ‘Won’t he look handsome in a tuxedo?’

  ‘Yes, you have to go. If only for the tuxedo,’ said Emma, smirking.

  ‘You’ve got half an hour before dinner. Do half an hour more study for me and then you can come out and join us. OK?’

  Jason looked from Emma to his mum and back and, even though being treated as a child was boiling his blood, decided that it wasn’t such a bad idea. He had suffered enough at the hands of his mother’s love and thought only of escape. He did as he was told.

  ‘Can I help with anything?’ asked Emma, now she was alone with Anne.

  ‘Umm … No, I think I’m fine. The boys are probably playing pool. Can you see if they’re alright for drinks?’

  Having escaped Anne, Emma was not going to go join her husband and Simon’s discussion of the rugby, which was about the only thing the two men had in common. She took a left when she entered the hallway, heading off in search of Jason.

  Jason swivelled in his seat when a shadow let him know someone was standing at his door. He knew it was going to be Emma. The hairs on the back of his neck had risen. When he saw the look in her eye, his body shook. She leaned against the door frame. He was unused to these pregnant silences. They shared a secret, a great and dangerous one. It was everywhere between them.

  She frightened him, too. She held him in her grip. She could cause so much trouble for him. He watched as she examined his room. He was ashamed of the boyhood treasures which lined every shelf, hung on the walls, lay about in untidy piles in the corners of the room.

  To Emma it seemed the room of a much younger man. It was as though the last few years had not passed. What had he been doing? There were no photos of friends, the books on his shelves reflected his twelve-year-old tastes, and the posters she hoped were his mother’s doing. What of the man sitting on the child’s desk chair? If she was to examine his computer would she find porn? Did he have four hundred Facebook friends? What art did he like? What books? Did he have a thing for foreign films? His room gave her nothing. Nothing but a blank canvas.

  ‘Where were you this afternoon?’

  ‘Mum met me outside school. She gave me a talking to about how much time I have left till my exams and sat down with me to work out this study plan.’ He held up a sheet of paper. ‘There is not an hour of my life between now and then that isn’t taken into account.’

  ‘Do you always do as your parents ask?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I think you do. And that’s OK. I suppose. They want the best for you.’

  Jason said nothing.

  ‘You know, if I had seen this room before I …’

  Jason glanced around.

  ‘I am not my room. I haven’t had time to do anything here but study and sleep. They expect so much from me. Do you know I’m in the chess club? I swim, play cricket, tennis and rugby. I’m in the debating team. Until recently I played bass in the school band. I haven’t had time to do anything. Why do you think I sometimes wag school? Some days I’m ready to scream. And then I jumped over our fence and found you. Do you know how hard it is to keep going now that all I think about is you?’

  ‘But you have to keep it all going.’

  ‘Why do I?’

  Emma walked across to him and kissed his lips.

  ‘Because I’m not real.’

  She left the room.

  NINE

  At dinner Emma seated herself next to Jason. They were at the table in the kitchen, which was the table the family most often used; Emma and David, as neighbours, being considered part of the family. The table was not large and part of the fun was squeezing everybody in. Emma made sure that her hip rested against Jason’s hip, that her arm brushed against his as she cut up her food, that her shoulder met his as often as she could manage.

  After the meal the conversation turned to politics and Emma found she was unable to join in. Not because she knew nothing about politics, but because she knew a lot about politics. Simon and Anne were lovely people but if David hadn’t struck up a friendship with Simon, Emma wouldn’t have had anything to do with them. She bit her tongue for David and turned her attention elsewhere.

  Jason had been listening to his father and had been watching the side of Emma’s face, seeing it cloud over.

  David was being conciliatory. Then Anne joined in and her views made her husband’s seem moderate. David forced a laugh but the mood was deteriorating by the second.

  ‘So, Jason, what do you think you’ll do next year?’ asked David, changing the subject completely, knowing that Simon and Anne loved nothing more than talking about their son. ‘Will you take a year off and see the world or leap straight into work?’

  ‘Jason will be going to university,’ answered his father. ‘Won’t you?’

  At this moment, something happened to distract Jason. Emma’s hand was suddenly in his lap. And before he could speak it was no longer just in his lap but moving up and over his crotch which moved under her.

  ‘Ummm … Yes, that’s right. University,’ he said, trying hard to modulate his voice. Preventing himself from blushing, however, was impossible. He reddened as Emma’s hand squeezed him lightly.

  The jeans were being stretched tight. She could feel the thing pressing against her. She traced the shape with her fingertips.

  ‘I would have thought you would take a year off. Your mother says you’ve been working very hard,’ said Emma, squeezing his crotch on the final word.

  ‘I’d rather get it all over and done with now,’ he said.

  Emma could feel his cock straining for release. She wanted to release it, to hold its thickness in her hand. She began unbuttoning his jeans. It was difficult to do one-handed, the material was tight, the buttons fixed against the twitching shaft.

  ‘When I was your age I couldn’t wait to get to work but my father convinced me to go to university,’ said David. ‘I won’t say the time was wasted, but some of my peers had made millions while I was at uni.’

  ‘Jason will go straight on. He’s quite eager to, aren’t you?’ said Anne.

  Emma had managed to get Jason’s fly undone and had pushed her hand through. She gripped his hard cock through his boxer shorts and pulled it out of his jeans. She was not happy yet. It was still caught in his boxer shorts. She wanted the hot flesh in her hand.

  ‘I bet he’s very eager,’ said Emma. ‘But I think I benefited from taking a year off. I went to Europe and North Africa, saw a bit of the world before I came back here and landed myself a millionaire.’

  David laughed at this. He knew that Emma was being mischievous. He just didn’t know how mischievous.

  She had trouble disentangling Jason’s cock from his boxers so she gripped it clothed and started to move her wrist ever so slightly up and down.

  Jason leant forward over his food.

  ‘Sit up, Jason,’ demanded his mother.

  ‘I went to Sydney University,’ said David.

  ‘We met at UNSW,’ said Simon, motioning towards Anne.

  ‘I want to go to Canberra,’ said Jason.

  ‘Canberra!’ cried his parents in unison.

  Emma made use of the disturbance to give Jason a more vigorous tug. She knew it wouldn’t take long. It was lucky he was still covered up. He lurched forward again.

  ‘You can’t go to Canberra,’ said his mother.

  ‘
Why Canberra, for God’s sake?’

  Emma knew why and kept on pulling him. She could feel his cock throbbing. She knew what it meant and dearly wanted to make him blow at his parents’ table.

  ‘I like the idea of dorm life,’ he said, before leaning forward, covering what looked like a spasm with a cough.

  ‘Well, we’ll talk about that. Now be a good boy and get your mother a bottle of San Pellegrino from the fridge.’

  ‘Ummm …’

  Emma stopped her ministrations. The boy’s fly was open, his cock stood erect on the edge of orgasm. He could not move. She was in two minds. She wanted to burst out laughing. The boy couldn’t do as his mother asked.

  Couldn’t, not wouldn’t.

  Couldn’t.

  He was paralysed. But then she really didn’t want her marriage to come to a sudden end tonight either, so she stood up.

  ‘I’ll get it.’

  Later that night, when David had stepped into the shower, Emma stole out of the house and ran down the side passage between the two houses and crept into Jason’s backyard. He was still up watching TV in the rumpus room. Making sure the room was empty she tapped on the glass door. Jason swung round quickly. She could tell she had frightened him.

  She motioned for him to come to her and then stepped out of sight.

  Jason found her in the side passage. She led him by the hand till they were lost in shadows.

  ‘I so wanted you to come to me this afternoon,’ she said. ‘Those fucking Speedos.’

  ‘I wanted to be there. I couldn’t follow Mum’s study plan. She kept tapping me to keep me focused.’

  Emma grabbed him and kissed him deeply. She hugged him to her. He fell back against the wall with Emma pushing herself onto him. She rubbed his cock in his jeans.

  ‘Wait. I have to get back. You’d better come over tomorrow. I’ll be waiting for you. I have to have you.’

  ‘I’ll come.’

  ‘What if your mum says no?’

  ‘Nothing will stop me.’

  Then she was gone.

  TEN

  Jason climbed the fence and, finding Emma’s backyard empty, entered the house cautiously. He was too afraid to call out for Emma just in case David was home, yet his fears were not great enough to keep him out.

  The back door was open. Emma’s towel hung over the kitchen stool. There was the bottle of 30+. This was normal. Emma had been here recently. Besides, she had told him to come over after school. It was after school. If he had kept to his mother’s study plan he would be in his room revising Modern History. But he was not keeping to her plan. Emma had set a new schedule for him. And all was as it should be, except for the fact that Emma was not waiting for him in the backyard.

  He stood still and listened. The house was completely silent. But it was a big house. She could be waiting for him in her bedroom. The thought gave him courage.

  Emma was in the shower. She had been out in the sun but had dozed off while reading and had woken in the shade. Chilled to the bone she had wanted to run a bath for herself but seeing the time and realising Jason could turn up at any moment decided to take a quick hot shower instead. She chose the main bathroom. It was closer to the stairs, giving her a chance of hearing Jason should he call out. Besides, she loved the oversized shower-head in the main bathroom. It was like standing under a waterfall.

  Stripping off and stepping inside the shower Emma felt enlivened by expectation. Her lover could appear at any moment. Her young lover. A young man who confessed that he thought only of her.

  She began thinking about Jason coming in and finding her showering. If he found her completely naked, what would that mean for him? She had hoped to take things slow. But under the warm stream of the shower she now knew it would be more difficult than she previously supposed.

  She began thinking about Jason’s cock. She hadn’t seen it yet but had held its heavy form through his boxer shorts which were so thin she could feel the veins and the ridges through them. While she had been playing with Jason all she could think about was having the thing in her mouth. She’d have crawled under the table if the world would have permitted her.

  Emma had always loved sucking a man’s cock. She felt it was the only way to really make a man come. When she had a cock in her mouth, when she gripped the base with her hand, when she teased the underside of the shaft with her tongue she knew that she was able to make her man scream, faint, growl, beg, demand; she knew that everything he was feeling was under her control. The orgasm she would extract, after much teasing, was inevitably one which would be more intense and more overwhelming than any he had caused by his own hand or had extracted through fucking.

  She showered thinking of Jason. She recalled his face as he came. She would make his first blow job give him white hair. She wanted to make him wait. To hear him stifle his screams, to have him grab her hair in his passion only to release it in his fear of hurting her. She would lay her head on his thigh and slowly suck and tease while she played with herself. Again she would hide from him that she was experiencing orgasm. She wanted to have his breath shorten and wanted his hips to buck as he tried to fuck her mouth. But every time he’d buck she’d stop and blow lightly on his cock.

  She thought about this while under the hot steady stream of her shower, every moment expecting to hear the sound of Jason approaching. She felt very vulnerable. She began to think of the shower door being pulled open and a man other than Jason appearing there. She felt her heart stop just at the thought.

  Then she imagined David coming home and finding her in the shower with Jason. She thought of what David would do if she were on her knees and sucking Jason under the hot stream.

  Turned on by all these daydreams she ran her hand down her body, twisting the stream towards the wall. She leant her whole body against the wall and slipped her fingers between her legs with the water running over her head and face and down her back.

  She fantasised about David coming in and finding her like this. He loved to watch her or to catch her doing it. She played with herself and imagined David in full fury. She imagined him discovering her with Paul, the only man she had been with since her wedding, his good friend. She pictured David’s face. She had witnessed it distorted with anger but never yet directed at her. David was a powerful presence when angry. She imagined him catching her out, standing in the bathroom immobilised by rage. She would be terrified at the sight. Fearful of the harm he might do to Paul, or Jason, or her.

  And then she’d think of David fucking her while he was angry. She could feel his thrusts like punches into her. Emma could feel his cock in her, she felt his breath against her neck. She thought of Jason’s cock spurting out come as she thought of David’s cock pounding into her. She felt her orgasm wash over her in two slow waves of pleasure.

  Emma lay against the wall and smiled while continuing to play with herself. Her lust knew no bounds, and when she began thinking of Jason coming in whilst she was gasping the little breaths of orgasm, she began to feel the second orgasm waiting in line impatiently, so before the first was properly savoured Emma was heading for the second. She imagined Jason waiting shyly at the door whilst he listened to her coming in the shower. She imagined him imagining her sucking his cock while he pulled away at it listening to her moaning while she fingered herself in the shower.

  Emma was incredibly aroused. Her body was jumping in spasms which drove her against the wall and against her hand and fingers. She even began thrusting into her hand. She wanted so much to see his young face during orgasm, like on that first day. She wanted him. Fuck! she wanted him.

  She felt her climax, dodged it, jumped on it and embraced it. She came again, violently, she screamed out, Fuck! She felt so fucking horny, so fucking there. As the orgasm left her she only wanted more. She slowed down and let the water run over her. She wanted to be held, to be kissed and kissed. She wanted to eat a man and was glad that Jason would come soon if her scream hadn’t frightened him off. He might have thought she was
with David.

  She lay against the tiles letting the wall take most of her weight. She felt young and fresh and sexy and beautiful. She wanted to give herself to every man and woman. The way she felt was not new to her, she often felt like giving herself to others. She loved the freedom she had. Her body was her own to give and she wanted to give it to everyone. She received such pleasure from the mere thought of giving pleasure to others.

  Mmmm, she murmured, feeling the reverberations run through her. She loved to be fucked, touched, adored, held, scratched, kissed and caressed. She glanced across her past and imagined a room of her lovers coming back to fuck her all over again.

  ELEVEN

  The shower started to lose its warmth, which annoyed Emma not a little. It altered her mood and she decided to get out. She had hoped Jason would come and find her in the shower but he hadn’t and now the water was getting cold. She opened the shower door, reached out for her towel and closed the door again before all the hot air escaped. She towelled herself down, her buoyant mood deflating. Jason hadn’t kept his promise.

  ‘Emma?’ came a squeal from the door, quickly followed by ‘Emma?’ in a deeper voice. She jumped, startled away from her glum thoughts. She wrapped the towel around herself and slowly opened the screen door.

  Emma saw Jason through the mist. He stood at the door, nervous like a deer. If she made one wrong move she feared he would be off down the hall in a flash.

  She stepped out onto the bath mat smiling at him and watching his eyes take her body in.

  ‘I love the way you look at me, Jason.’

  ‘You are beautiful,’ he said.

  ‘Thank you. So are you.’

  Jason frowned, his petulant youthful nature coming through once again.

  ‘Do you like what you see?’ she asked, thinking it banal as she did so and wishing she could come up with better things to say.

  ‘I love you,’ he said.