Monster War

by Dean Lorey

  Charlie nodded. “Yeah. And we don’t even know if she can be killed. I mean, not even a missile strike could take her out.”

  “Oh, you’ll kill her,” Theodore said, arms crossed. “Definitely.”

  “How?”

  “Well, how am I supposed to know? I’m sure you’ll figure something out. I mean, that’s what you do, isn’t it? You’re good like that.” He clapped Charlie on the back.

  Before Charlie could reply, the Queen of Nightmares lowered her arms and said, “Delicious people of Earth, the time for talking is over. Now is the time for dying.” She turned to the Elemental Golems. “Attack, my beautiful babies.”

  As if turned on by a switch, the eight horrific creatures headed out of Central Park and into the city beyond. The military personnel that ringed the park held their ground and fired upon the rampaging monsters, but their bullets passed right through the Air, Water and Fire Golems and bounced off the Earth Golems like grains of sand off steel.

  One of the Earth Golems shattered the large glass cube above the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue with a gigantic stone fist, followed instantly by a Water Golem that flooded down into the exposed complex beneath. A Fire Golem breathed lava on the nearby FAO Schwartz Toy Store, while an Air Golem rocketed high into the air and crashed down into Times Square, sucking soldiers into its deadly, whirling funnel.

  As the Golems wreaked their destruction, Nethercreatures swarmed up from the sewers and down from the skies to attack the fleeing, panicked people. Dangeroos stuffed some of them into their stinking pouches while Hags descended, cackling, from the smoke-darkened sky to carry off others in a swirl of filthy hair and tattered ballgowns.

  “What do we do?” Brooke screamed as they watched the devastation from their vantage point atop the Plaza Hotel.

  Charlie shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing!” Theodore shouted. “What kind of an answer is that? Come on - let’s go spank these bad boys! Use some of those sweet Double-Threat moves you’ve been working on!”

  Charlie pointed towards a purple flash far below. It was a portal created by a Nethermancer, who leaped through, followed by a mace-wielding Banisher. “They don’t need us. The Nightmare Division is already sending in the troops. In fact, there’s your dad—”

  Charlie nodded down the street to a black-clad Banisher swinging a two-handed sword at a Silvertongue.

  “OK, great!” Theodore shouted. “My dad’s here! The cavalry has arrived! Woo-hoo! Now let’s go and help out!”

  “We don’t have time. There’s something much more important that we have to do first. We’ve got to—”

  “CHARLIE BENJAMIN.”

  Charlie looked down to see the Queen of Nightmares standing in front of the giant nautilus shell. She smiled as her voice boomed across the city. “People are dying around you by the hundreds. Will you save them? Or are you afraid?”

  “I’m not afraid,” Charlie replied. “But getting rid of your ‘babies’,” he gestured to a Fire Golem that was climbing the Empire State Building, turning everything it touched into molten slag, “isn’t going to solve anything. I don’t need to stop them, I need to stop you - or you’ll just keep making more of them.”

  “Very true. There’s a whole world out there to destroy - a monster’s playground - and my beautiful babies will soon rule it all.”

  “Every playground has bullies and every bully has a weakness. We’ll soon find yours.”

  The Queen of Nightmares’ laughter pealed across the skyscrapers, shattering glass. “Of course you will, Charlie Benjamin. Of course you will.”

  With that, she walked inside her pearly lair and was gone.

  “OK,” Brooke said. “Nice creepy confrontation with the most deadly boss of the Nether. Now how were you planning on killing her exactly?”

  “No idea,” Charlie replied. Unfortunately, that was true.

  “There you are!” a familiar voice suddenly roared from somewhere high above. Charlie looked up to see a portal hovering in the air over the nautilus shell in the park. It was so far away that he struggled to recognise the person looking through it - until he noticed the weathered cowboy hat the man wore.

  “Rex!”

  The cowboy smiled. “We been lookin’ all over for you, kid. Shoulda’ known we’d find you exactly where you’re not supposed to be - messin’ around with Miss Mega-Monster.”

  “I’ve got a lot of questions for you!”

  “And I probably got answers for some of them, which is why you need to come see us! Portal over and do it quick - me and Tabby gotta get back to the Headmaster pronto.”

  He turned to go, heading into the bluish landscape of the Nether.

  “Wait!” Charlie yelled. “Where are you guys?”

  “Well, I don’t exactly wanna shout out our super-secret location in front of the lair of the Fifth - but here’s a little hint…” Rex leaned back and threw something towards Charlie. The small object sailed through the air, glittering as it spun. “See ya soon, kid!” the cowboy shouted as the portal began to snap closed. “And hurry!”

  Charlie leaped forward to catch the baseball-sized ‘hint’ that Rex had thrown.

  “Well?” Theodore asked, leaning in. “What is it?”

  Charlie showed them. It was a snow globe, and the plastic snow inside seemed to be swirling around a familiar-looking building.

  “Isn’t that Buckingham Palace?” Violet asked.

  Charlie nodded. “Looks like it. Hey, Theo - think you can whip us up a portal to take us there?”

  “Can I whip you up a portal?” Theodore echoed with a snort. “Hello? This is Theodore ‘Portal’ Dagget you’re talking to - I whip up portals like pastry chefs whip up soufflés! One delicious, nutritious portal coming right up!” He closed his eyes and began to focus on his core fear.

  As he did, Charlie looked out across the city to see many other portals popping into existence like embers from a windswept campfire - the Nightmare Division was clearly sending in the troops. Suddenly, a blue axe flashed in front of him, followed by two large, mosquito-like creatures that thudded to the roof, dead. Charlie recognised the beasts almost immediately - Bloodsuckers. They speared you with their long, sharp noses and sucked you dry, like a juice box.

  “Thanks!” Charlie said, turning to Violet, who was wielding her axe. “I was sort of drifting and I didn’t even see—”

  But Violet wasn’t listening to him. A cloud of Bloodsuckers boiled down towards them from the smoky sky and, as each one arrived, she chopped it up without thought or pity. Charlie loved to watch Violet Banish - a calmness descended over her as she moved with an almost machine-like precision: elegant, exact and lethal.

  “How’s that portal coming?” Brooke asked, turning to Theodore. “No hurry, as long as you don’t mind getting carried off by giant mosquitoes or spending some close, personal alone time with Mr Tornado.”

  She pointed to an Air Golem as it spun towards them from the destruction it had wreaked in Times Square. Its eyes were like twin hurricanes.

  “Ye of little faith,” Theodore replied.

  Just before the Golem slammed into the Plaza Hotel in a massive explosion of concrete and steel, he snapped open a portal. As the landmark structure collapsed around them, everyone leaped through the gateway, which hung in space like a balloon.

  Moments later, the Plaza Hotel, which had stood for over a hundred years, was gone…and so were Charlie and his friends.

  CHAPTER SIX THE HIDDEN HEADMASTER

  Afiery portal snapped open on the red brick in front of Buckingham Palace. Charlie stepped through first, followed by Violet.

  “So where do you figure they are exactly?” she asked, glancing around.

  “Don’t know,” Theodore replied, stepping through next, followed by Brooke. “But I bet the guys in the hairy hats do.” He pointed to the main entrance of the palace. It was guarded by several bayonet-wielding men wearing red jackets and furry black hats. “Let’s just tell them to bring us to
the Headmaster before giant monsters destroy the world.”

  Brooke grinned. “We could do that…or we could try it my way.”

  “And which way is that?” Violet asked.

  “The pretty girl way.”

  She walked over towards the nearest royal guard with her thousand-watt smile turned on full blast. “Hey there, soldier! I love your uniform…it makes you look so strong and tall.” She leaned towards him. “So listen, we think a good friend of ours is a guest inside the palace. Can you help us find her?”

  The guard stared straight ahead, unblinking, not responding in any way.

  Brooke glanced at Charlie, baffled - being ignored was clearly something she didn’t have much experience with. She turned back to the guard with a flip of her pretty blonde hair. “Hey, don’t worry. I get it. You’re just supposed to stand there like a statue. That’s your job, right? Totally cool. You’re rocking that look really well, by the way. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll tell you who I’m looking for and you just whisper where she is - it’ll be our little secret. Her name is Headmaster Brazenhope.”

  No reply from the guard.

  Charlie could tell from Brooke’s expression that she was getting frustrated and he knew that when she got frustrated, she got angry and when she got angry—

  “Look here!” the tall girl snapped. “I don’t like this attitude! Now you better help us out this instant because if we don’t get in there and see the Headmaster right away, giant monsters are going to destroy the world - comprende?”

  “Hey, that was my plan…” Theodore mumbled.

  “Comprende?” Charlie asked, walking up to her. “He doesn’t speak Spanish, Brooke - he’s British.”

  “Actually, I do know a little Spanish,” the guard said defensively. He held his thumb and forefinger a few centimetres apart. “Un poquito.”

  “You talked!” Brooke shouted. “I knew you could!”

  “Hey, kid!”

  Charlie was startled by a man’s voice high above. He looked up to discover Rex Henderson hanging out of a third-storey window, waving cheerily. Against the majesty of Buckingham Palace, the cowboy’s glowing lasso and weathered Stetson made him seem like a page out of ‘What’s Wrong With This Picture’.

  “Stop goofing around and get on up here! We got a lot to talk about!”

  Charlie and his friends rushed inside, past the palace guard. As soon as they were out of earshot, the man sighed heavily. “Americans…”

  Charlie had never seen anything as ornate as the inside of the palace. Elegant statuary and priceless paintings seemed to fill every nook and cranny.

  “Hey, is that a Rembrandt?” Theodore said, pointing to a haunting portrait of a dour-looking man. He ran his fingers across it. “Look, you can feel the paint - it’s real!”

  “Of course it’s real,” a clipped British voice scolded. “And now it’s ‘real’ dirty.”

  They all turned to see a thin, older man walking towards them with a puffy cloud of white hair atop his skeletal head. He was dressed in an extravagant purple suit - velvet by the look of it.

  “Sorry about that, sir,” Violet said. “That’s just Theodore.”

  “And I am one of Her Majesty’s valets. My name is Oscar.”

  “Like the Grouch?” Theodore blurted.

  The man turned to him. “What an atrocious little boy you are.”

  “Exactly,” Theodore replied, nodding. “Definitely atrocious.”

  “Believe it or not,” Charlie said, “he’s actually got a few good qualities.”

  “Perhaps we should mount an expedition to find them someday. Until then - follow me, please.”

  With that, Oscar strode through the maze of hallways and stairs as the rest of the group struggled to keep up. Before long, they arrived at a heavy, hand-carved door. Oscar opened it and led the group into an elegant parlour filled with antique furniture. Rex was perched casually on the arm of a peacock-blue sofa that Charlie guessed cost more than his father had made in his entire lifetime. Tabitha Greenstreet stood on the other side of the room, her red, bejewelled hair perfectly framed by the pattern on the ivory wallpaper.

  “There you are,” Tabitha said, rushing to them. She hugged Charlie tightly. “We’ve been so worried.”

  “We’re fine,” Charlie replied. “But the rest of the world isn’t doing too good. Have you seen what’s going on with the Elemental Golems?”

  Rex nodded. “Yup. Just when you think you know every Nethercritter out there, them fiends whip up some new ones to throw at ya. It’s…it’s wearying, is what it is.”

  “May I get you anything?” Oscar asked. Then, with the slightest of devilish grins, “A selection of cheeses, perhaps?”

  “No more cheese!” Rex roared. “I mean, ya’ll been unbelievably kind to us, but I’m about cheesed out. Everything here is cheese! Cheese selections, cheese sandwiches, cheese on toast. I had a dream last night where I was crushed under a giant wedge of cheddar cheese before being rescued by pirates from a cheese boat that was sailing on an ocean of melted cheese. In other words - no more cheese, ya got that!”

  “Am I to understand,” Oscar said mildly, “that you would not care for any more cheese?”

  “Let me put it this way - if I ever ask for cheese again, I want you to—”

  “Is there any way we could see the Headmaster?” Charlie interrupted. “We really need to talk.”

  The Headmaster lay propped up in bed in the room just off the parlour. Her normally brown skin looked waxy and ashen. She listened carefully as Charlie finished his story.

  “So basically, we’re exiled and not allowed to do anything or we’ll get Reduced, but we have to do something because the whole planet’s in danger.”

  The Headmaster nodded and Charlie detected a wince of pain. The wounds she’d suffered in the icy lair of the Named were grave, and she was still only in the beginning stages of recovery. Watching her now, Charlie flashed back to the last time he had seen her healthy and active - mowing down literally hundreds of Nethercreatures as they swarmed across her like ants on a sugar lump.

  “The fate of the planet is in your hands,” she said, her voice not much more than a whisper. “As you witnessed, the Fifth cannot be destroyed by any mortal means. Even weapons with a touch of the Nether on them, like yours—” she gestured to Charlie’s rapier with a trembling hand “—won’t harm her. To destroy her, you need one of the Ancient Weapons, forged in the Nether eons ago. You need the Sword of Sacrifice.”

  “Fine. How do we get it?” Violet asked. Her eyes were as flinty as the axe at her side and Charlie was struck once again by how hard she seemed now. The Banisher that stood beside him was a far cry from the gentle, artistic girl he had met just over six months ago.

  “You don’t get the sword, Ms Sweet,” the Headmaster said softly. “Only a Double-Threat can wield something so powerful. And since Pinch has betrayed us and I’m clearly in no condition to get out of this bed, let alone fight, the task falls to Mr Benjamin, I’m afraid. But he cannot do it alone.”

  Theodore stepped forward. “We’ll protect him - no problemo there. Nobody hurts Charlie Benjamin when Theodore Dagget is around. Nobody.”

  The Headmaster shook her head. “It’s not your protection he needs, Mr Dagget. It’s something far more precious. The Smith will explain it to you.”

  Charlie shrugged. “Who?”

  “The Smith,” Rex said. “As in blacksmith. You can find him in the Netherforge, out there in the mountains of the 3rd Ring. That’s where Banishers go to make their weapons, and he’s the fella in charge.”

  “Is that where you got your short sword?” Violet asked, gesturing to the one that hung from the cowboy’s belt.

  Rex nodded. “Yeah. The Smith showed me how to forge it, like he does for everyone - like he’ll do for you someday, if there is a ‘someday’.” He turned to the Headmaster. “I can warn them not to touch him, right?”

  The Headmaster smiled dourly. “It seems you ju
st have.”

  “We shouldn’t touch the Smith?” Charlie asked. “What will happen if we do?”

  Rex sighed. “It would be…bad.”

  “Define bad,” Brooke said. “Bad as in…?”

  “Bad as in just don’t do it or you’ll hate yourself for the rest of your natural life!”

  “Oh,” Brooke replied, startled. “That kind of bad.”

  “Will you take us to him?” Charlie asked. “To the Smith, I mean.”

  Rex nodded. “Course I will.”

  The Headmaster shook her head solemnly. “That’s not possible, Mr Henderson - you know that. They must go without you. The seeker of the blade must bring with him his three closest friends.”

  “Rex and I are his friends,” Tabitha replied. “We’re as close to him as anyone.”

  “No. You are his mentors - and there are only two of you. I know you don’t wish to see the children suffer…but if they do not, the world will suffer.”

  Brooke looked a little queasy. “Excuse me, Headmaster, but exactly in what way will ‘the children’ suffer?”

  “Soon you will understand, Ms Brighton.”

  Suddenly, the parlour door opened and Oscar rushed in. “I’m terribly sorry for intruding in this manner, but there’s been a rather dramatic development. Something quite horrific is happening.”

  He picked up a remote control and turned on the wall-mounted television. As a newscaster babbled hysterically, live pictures from four major cities around the world flashed up on the screen.

  In Spain, Air Golems stormed across a large bullring (helpfully identified as the Plaza de la Maestranza). The red dirt in the centre of the arena was funnelled up into the giant, rampaging creatures, turning them a dark, dusky colour. Screaming patrons tried to flee, but soon found themselves hurled miles across the heart of Seville by the tornado-like force of the monsters. Charlie was astonished to see a bull flung into the wall of the stadium, where it hung by its horns like a dart in a dartboard.

  On another corner of the screen, Charlie saw Fire Golems smashing through the heavily fortified walls of Red Square in Moscow. The terrible creatures headed for the colourful spires of the Kremlin where they vomited up great geysers of lava. As they went about their destruction, they all but ignored a Russian military brigade that desperately tried to gun them down.