by Ayres, Jamie
I looked around for someone to talk to, but the room remained empty. There were no windows, only one door with a number eight on it. Sweeping my hand through my hair, I called out a hello, but nobody answered. For a moment, I freaked out. I had no idea what Limbo was, how long I’d once lived here, what to do now. My and Olga’s files said Dr. Judy on it… Would I find her here somewhere?
Guess there’s only one way to find out.
Swallowing back my fear, I took a deep breath, slowly made my way to the door, then opened it. I padded down a wildly long, vaulted-ceilinged hallway lined with numbered doors until something slapped me on the back. I jerked forward.
“Took you long enough.”
After catching my balance, I turned around. “Riel? What are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
I sucked in a surprised breath. “Why didn’t you just take me to Limbo when you left the first time?”
He ruffled my hair and laughed. “You had to let go of some things you were holding on to first.”
I stood there, looking at him for a few minutes.
“Disappointed? Were you expecting someone else?”
I shook my head, then nodded. “Dr. Judy’s name was on my file.”
Riel shrugged. “She did counsel you during your Limbo timeline, but I’m the one who orchestrated your experience. And when your time was up, you came here to my headquarters to help others in the Limbo plane. Come on.”
He nodded toward the door at the end of the hallway, and I followed behind him. “Do you often bring people to your headquarters to live when their… time is up?”
Waving a dismissive hand, he admitted, “Not usually.”
Of course, no real answers out of him still.
“Ah, here we are.” He opened the door to sunshine, green grass, flowers everywhere, and a fresh breeze. “Welcome to my home. I do believe you may find what you’re looking for over that way.”
Before I could follow the direction of his finger, he caught me up by the waist in one swift motion and took to the sky, his wings spread wide.
“What are you doing?” I yelled.
“Oh, come on, pretty boy. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?”
For the first time in forever, I might’ve laughed. “Yeah, right. You just caught me by surprise. This is kind of… weird.”
“I’m sure you meant to say totally awesome or whatever the kids are saying these days.” He nodded down below to illustrate.
Surveying the scene beneath me, I saw brick courtyards with fountains, plants of all descriptions tumbling in green profusion, a veranda shaded with movable awnings, picnic tables, hammocks, wicker rocking chairs, plastic lounges, poplar trees like the ones I had planted for Mom in our yard, trees bearing apples and lemons and oranges and avocados, tomato and pepper plants, chrysanthemums and tulips and geraniums, ferns, rose arbors, pine trees, cinder paths shaded by tall oaks circling the entire property. It was paradise.
“Yep, totally awesome.”
“Exactly, pretty boy.”
“Is this where the Garden of Eden was?”
Riel sighed. “I wish. You can’t even imagine that kind of beauty. But unfortunately, you humans have a way of screwing everything up. I do admire your green thumb, though. Not typical for a boy your age.”
“How do you know I like to garden?”
He dumped me unceremoniously onto a dock. “Are you seriously going to question my vast amount of knowledge after everything that’s happened?”
“Sorry,” I said, standing up and dusting myself off. “Us humans are a little slow.” I winked at him.
“Don’t wink. People will think you’re up to no good.” He gestured to the lake and surrounding beach with his hands. “You had a special… moment here. I’ll give you some time to walk around and find something to mark your territory.” Pushing his robe to the side with a flourish, he sat on the dock and dipped his feet into the pond as his wings folded in on his back.
Sunlight sparkled against the water as I shuffled to the small patch of sand to the left of the dock, warmth radiating up through my feet. People… or angels… were busy splashing and dunking each other in the lake, filling the air with shrieks. I crossed my arms over my chest, thinking how unreal all of this was. Instead of stressing over my lost sense of time, I filled myself with the smell of the fresh air and the peacefulness of this place. It was the closest I’d ever been to Zen. Already shoeless, I shuffled into the water. A net of slimy weeds snagged at my legs as the waves gently slapped against the shore, spraying my cargo shorts. Studying the bottom of the lake, I bent down and picked up a few white rocks near my feet. My heartbeat sped up. I watched as one pebble I threw skipped over the surface once, twice, three times before blurting out, “Found it!”
Riel flew to where I stood and stared at my hand clutching the pebbles. “A rock?”
I cleared my throat. “Is that an acceptable item to mark my territory?” Crossing my fingers, I prayed he said yes. I was so tired of screwing up. Apparently, I said those last words aloud without realizing it.
Riel grinned. “Resist the temptation of being troubled. Make yourself vulnerable. Only then do you become strong. Just look how easy everything was today.”
Shaking my head, I told him, “You know that goes against every worldly wisdom out there, right?”
“Trust me. I haven’t let you down so far, have I?”
His eyes glittered with the mischief of knowing things I didn’t, but before I could answer, he called for the angel to take me home.
“After all, what’s a life, anyway?
We’re born, we live a little while, we die.”
—E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
Olga
couldn’t remember when I’d felt so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, which would be understandable. It was my only way of escaping everything happening to me. But my breasts were swollen, and I craved vegetables. Vegetables! I never craved healthy foods before. The procedure that sleazy doctor performed on me exactly thirty days ago was stuck on repeat in my head, in Sam’s too. So after school today, he asked Nic to stop at the Meijer’s store on the way home.
She nudged my side with her elbow. “Sure. You need something for your hot date with Conner tonight?”
At lunch today, he’d asked me to a romantic picnic in Duncan Woods at midnight. If I were me, I would’ve told him he was being creepy as hell. But I wasn’t me, and the thought of sneaking out and meeting Conner there excited Sam, so he accepted the weird invite.
“Yeah.”
He turned to look at her. A piece of her black hair flew in the slight breeze coming in from the cracked windows in her car. I felt Sam’s desire to kiss her, and I fought it with all my might, knowing I couldn’t make him do anything. Especially now. I was so darn tired.
Sam chuckled on the inside as Nicole pulled into a parking spot up front meant for expectant mothers. My pulse sped up, wondering if Nic had somehow already discovered my deepest, darkest secret.
“You’ll be quick, right? This special parking is so dumb anyway.” She brought out her “now hear this,” pissed-off voice. “Let’s push feminism back a hundred years and declare you can’t walk when you’re preggo! We are so not using these spaces when we actually do get pregnant, a very long time from now, of course. We’re better than those losers who get knocked up during high school.”
Sam let a snort escape my lips. “I know, right? I’ll be right back. You need anything?”
His seductive gaze moved down the length of her legs, clothed in black fishnet stockings today.
Nic cleared her throat, seeming to notice. “Um, I’m good.”
“Yeah, you are.”
Her eyes bulged. “Are you okay?”
Laughing, Sam got out and headed straight to the feminine hygiene department. He glanced around to make sure nobody was looking and shoved an early pregnancy test in my purse.
“Don’t want any of the outstanding citizens of o
ur small town blabbing about their high school valedictorian getting knocked up,” he mumbled under his breath to me.
“Olga?”
Sam jumped. “Conner? What are you doing here?”
He gestured to the shopping cart that contained four candles. “Just gathering some things for our date tonight. How about you?”
Acting as if nothing was unusual, Sam turned and grabbed the largest box of condoms on the nearby shelf. “Same.”
Conner’s eyes went wide, and it took a minute before he could speak again. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Sam slipped an arm around Conner’s back, then dropped the box into his cart. “I’ll let you take care of these. See you soon.” Sam kissed Conner’s cheek, then patted him on the butt before leaving.
After Nic dropped us off, Sam went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. He pulled out the box. Opened it. Read the instructions. Took out the strip. Removed the cap. Tried to pee but couldn’t. Sighing, he shoved everything back into my purse and walked to the kitchen.
“It’s super annoying you don’t have that frequent urination thing yet. What do you want to drink, darling?”
Coffee. It’s a natural diuretic, after all.
Plodding to the kitchen, Sam pulled a bag of Starbucks Caramel from the canister and measured out two tablespoons of the ground coffee. A minute later, the stimulating rush of brewing drew me out, brushing off the stress of the moment. Unusually kind, Sam even coated my Harry Potter mug with caramel syrup before pouring in the coffee, then topped it off with whipped cream and more caramel drizzle.
“Cheers, love. We’ll have something to celebrate with Conner tonight. And this way, if someone does discover the pregnancy, you’ll have someone to blame.”
I almost chuckled as I remembered the words on the coffee cup, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” For Conner’s sixteenth birthday, he’d asked his parents to take me and him to the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando. He gave me the cup as a way of announcing our summer trip. I knew he didn’t even care about being there for opening day, but he knew I’d never have the money to go on my own. He always had my best interest at heart.
He won’t let you seduce him.
“No, not me. But he’ll let you. He’s wanted nothing more than your hot little body ever since I’ve known him.” He ran my finger around the rim of the mug, then took a sip of the sweet goodness, and I groaned. “Oh, you like what Daddy gives, don’t you?”
He was on his third gulp when something felt off, sending him rushing back to the bathroom. After vomiting into the toilet, he smiled at me in the mirror as he wiped my mouth with a washcloth. “I don’t think we need this little test to confirm things, but let’s take it anyway, just for kicks.”
After urinating, he laid the strip on the counter, then sat down on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling through my and Conner’s old text messages on my phone while we waited the five minutes. It was the longest five minutes of my life, and given everything that happened this past year, that really said something. When time was finally up, Sam jumped up to look at the stick, which now had two stripes. Again, he looked at the directions, letting out a whoop at the confirmation two stripes meant positive.
Inside, I shrank smaller and smaller, suffocating, feeling like I was being sucked into an oblivion I could never return from. I couldn’t think of any way to fight back. My prayers went unanswered these days. What would happen to my soul if Sam managed to hold on to my body for more than half a year? Would I be sent to heaven or hell? Maybe I was already damned for inviting him in on my own.
Twisting and turning, I tried to break free, but I felt so drained. Heaven, hell, or simply vanishing from the face of the planet would be better than this anyway.
“Even when you think you have no more to give,
you will find the strength to help a friend.”
—Nate’s Thoughts
Conner
ulping the cold air, I tried to slow my breathing to listen for any strange sounds as I lit the fourth candle. Nate walked around the tiny square with catlike grace, and I thought again how I would’ve figured he was gay if I didn’t know better.
Wishful thinking.
The air smelled of matches, olive oil, sage, frankincense, and myrrh. I pulled out my phone and used the flashlight app to examine the lay of the land, but Nate waved it away.
“We don’t want to call any more attention to us being here than needed.”
Surveying the area in darkness, I couldn’t help but notice how the moss slowly swaying in the chilly breeze looked like dead bodies hanging from the skeletal tree branches. The clouds parted and revealed the full moon, but the added light did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in my stomach. A gush of wind blew hard, and I held on to my Nike toboggan so it wouldn’t fly off my head. I thought my hat’s slogan, Just Do It, was appropriate for tonight. But then the breeze carried the sound of howling that sent chills down my spine, and I wanted to sprint in my Nike shoes to get the heck out of here instead.
“Please tell me there are wolves in these woods,” Nate whispered, checking his watch.
“Because you want to get mauled to death?”
He shrugged. “If you ask me, sounds better than what we’re about to do.”
Turning my face away from the bitter wind, I was about to respond with a comeback when I figured, What’s the point? He was right, and he could probably hear how hard my heart pounded anyway, so playing cool wouldn’t work this time.
A minute later, I tensed when I heard a loud thump. I turned my head just in time to see Nate’s body crumple to the ground, Olga standing over him with the shovel I’d brought. For a moment, we stood looking at each other, and then she narrowed her eyes, now black instead of blue, to the square with the lit candles around me. There was little sound in the forest, only our breathing fogging in the air and the wind sliding through trees.
Olga jerked her head toward the square. “This is your idea of a romantic picnic? Bringing my ex to watch? I like it. Very voyeuristic of you.”
I rolled up my shirtsleeves, knowing there was no use in pretending any longer. “You always did have a good vocabulary.”
She smiled, a disarming grin edged with darkness. “Wait until you hear what I have to say next.”
Using words I never heard before and didn’t understand, she called out, sounding like a hissing snake.
I assumed this was the part where Sam called upon evil spirits to help, and my suspicions were confirmed a minute later. Behind Olga, larger shapes lumbered, and though I couldn’t see them clearly, I knew they watched me. I reached out, my fingers trembling as I began to speak to Olga’s spirit.
“Olga, I know you’re in there. Please fight the darkness and come back to me.”
She growled in response.
On the periphery of my vision, I saw more things rushing through the darkness from the cemetery. Things that were large, dark, and fast and seemed to weigh me down with their presence. My heart thumped painfully. A spike of adrenaline tightened in my chest as I vowed to protect Olga at all costs. My gaze darted to follow the odd forms, measuring them up to see what it’d take to defeat them. They walked with the lopsided grace of a hunchback and had too many limbs to be human. I gulped.
Olga paced back and forth in front of my square, her red hair still bright in the darkness.
I met her gaze, focusing on my love for her. “Olga, I’m here. Nate is here. We found a way to save you, but you have to kick the demon out yourself. We can’t cast him out for you, since you invited him in. Fight, Olga. I know you can do this. Come home before it’s too late.”
The dark shapes in the distance moved closer, until they lined the entire perimeter of my small square. I didn’t need to look down to know my whole body trembled as the dark figures murmured along with Sam, making my eardrums thunder. A figure, one of the peculiar ones with too many limbs, stepped to the line, threw his head back, and growled. His face, ha
llow and scathed, assured me the threat of danger was real. Clearly, he’d been in a few fights during his lifetime. But true to Riel’s word, I remained protected; the demons seemed unable to cross the line.
Unsure of what to do next, I prayed aloud. Just simple words from my heart because it was all I had now that Nate remained out cold. He was supposed to be inside the square, helping me, and the truth that I stood alone in this hit me like a million pinpricks all over my body. Except the figure stepped back from the line and yelped, as if my words actually burned him. The other figures whipped their heads about, but no words spewed from their mouths anymore. And I knew the angels must be at work doing warfare, too, even though I couldn’t see them. It was now or never.
“Olga, I love you. You haven’t lost yet. You’re not alone in this. I’m right here. Don’t surrender. Please, Olga. Fight back. Focus on all the good things in your life, on my belief in you, even if you doubt yourself. Use the good to push out the evil.”
Olga inhaled sharply, and then her body flung onto the ground as if shoved from within. For a moment, she lay so still I thought she was dead. When I was almost ready to leave the safety of my square and go to her, she turned her head toward mine, her eyes shimmering with blue even though the rest of her body remained still and cloaked in shadows.
“Conner,” she said through a clenched jaw, as if speaking brought her great pain.
My heart filled with emotion at seeing my best friend lying face down on the cold ground, shivering as though she’d fallen into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan, fighting for her life because of me once more.
Her head lifted higher, and she inched her body closer to me before something within her chuckled, and her eyes turned black again. “You think you can save yourself? For what? A life of continued suffering. I can give you fame, success, wealth, and power beyond your wildest dreams. I can make you a New York Times bestseller, a Pulitzer prize winner, anything you desire and more.”