18 Thoughts (My So-Called Afterlife Book 3)

by Ayres, Jamie

  “I know, but I just think, for some things, you can never say you’re sorry too much. This is one of them.”

  “You were being possessed by a demon!”

  He shrugged. “So I could just do whatever I wanted and blame it all on Sam? How very Crucible of me.”

  His words didn’t hold pride anymore. The experience had irrevocably humbled him, and me. In some weird way, I was almost thankful for all that had happened. We were almost too spoiled, too naïve, before our senior year.

  I smiled. “Nice literary reference, rock star. Look, some things change you, for better or worse, and you’re never the same again. But one thing that will never change is you’re my best friend, always have been, and—”

  “Always will be, as long as you’ll let me.”

  In that moment, my mind flashed to moments of our lives together—playing volleyball on the beach, riding bikes downtown, bonfires in his backyard, watching the fireworks show from the roof of his car during the Coast Guard Festival, going sailing and holding his body tight, terrified I’d never get to hold him again. There was way too much history between us to ever be truly apart. Even this summer, while we both became crazy busy, we’d sent each other texts on a daily basis.

  I cupped my other hand around his. “Forever, and then some.”

  A second later, the sun completely disappeared. I blinked, trying to decipher the hard line dividing water and sky and couldn’t find it. I thought of the lessons we’d learned during high school, academically and socially, and how much more we’d learn in the next four years, how time and space were nothing more than wisps of smoke, an illusion. An eternity had already passed between us. Even though we’d each follow our own destinies from this point forward, we were together with the type of intricate connection that’s infused into your soul. Our bond was everywhere: past, present, and future. Smiling, I stared up at the sky. And I could’ve sworn I saw the outline of a cloud shaped like an angel watching over us.

  Jamie Ayres writes young adult paranormal love stories by night and teaches young adults as a Language Arts middle school teacher by day.

  When not at home on her laptop or at school, she can often be found at a local book store grabbing random children and reading to them. So far, she has not been arrested for this.

  Although she spent her youthful summers around Lake Michigan, she now lives in Florida with her prince charming, two children (sometimes three based on how Mr. Ayres is acting), and a basset hound.

  She really does have grandmothers named Olga and Gay but unlike her heroine, she’s thankfully not named after either one of them.

  She loves lazy pajama days, the first page of a good book, stupid funny movies, and sharing stories with fantastic people like you.

  Her previous works include the first installment of her trilogy, 18 Things, and its sequel, 18 Truths. Visit her online via Twitter, Facebook, or at www.jamieayres.com.

  Photo Credit: Owl Sisters Photography

  I’d like to give thanks to:

  Jesus, for my salvation. Just typing that brings me to tears!! You begin our stories, set each one of us apart for a specific time and place. I thank you that you’re a plotter, not a pantser like me. You give each of us our own pen. You allow us to write the stories of our own lives. How much easier would it be for you to script each scene? But you love us too much for that. Your ending was our new beginning, and I’m eternally grateful.

  Five important people who gave their thoughts to this book in its early stages:

  Deana Barnhart, who reminded me I needed ONE main plot and goal to drive the story forward instead of a million (can we say squirrel syndrome?),

  J. Keller Ford, who helped bring more torture to my characters and a greater climax,

  my 14-year-old daughter, Kaylee Ayres, who gave me her unbiased, unapologetic, and rather gruff opinions, as well as helping me to write Nate’s prologue (I still think we should’ve published this novel with your notes in the margins because they were just hilarious!),

  Mollie Melton Yonker, who posted a beautiful “I’ve Learned” poem on Facebook (even though she doesn’t have any recollection of this, lol) that spawned the idea for the book title/cover & Nate’s thoughts (I wish I could give credit to the original writer, but the author is unknown), and

  Krystal Wade, who provided her initial gut instinct of the first read, even though it made me cry… but in her editor’s way of speaking from the heart, she made the final chapters to this trilogy so much better. The emotional breakdown of this book turned out to be a blessing in disguise to provide the perfect ending, even if it wasn’t the one I planned all along. Thank you, awesome ladies that you are, for listening to my own convoluted thoughts and giving me your wise ones in return.

  To Curiosity Quills Press, for giving me my first chance at publishing and supporting me along the way! Special shout out to Michelle Johnson for designing such awesome kick butt covers and to Nikki Tetreault for coming up with such innovative marketing ideas! And of course, the goats, who can forget the goats?!

  To Amy Carver, Sarah Rutledge, Heidi Saidi, Lilly Carrasco, and Jessa Russo, for your unwavering allegiance. Few people have cheered me on with such genuine love and enthusiasm. You are the cream in my coffee.

  To my besties, for our GNO evenings that provides a much needed escape from all the voices in my head.

  To my pastors over the years, for showing me the light. God is not waiting with a lightning bolt every time I mess up (which is wonderful, since I screw things up quite a bit). Instead, he loves us unconditionally and never, ever gives up on us.

  To my writerly support system, especially the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and Writers Helping Writers, for offering savvy tidbits of wisdom. To everyone who attended UtopYA 2014, your inspiring talks helped me finish this third book. I’ll never forget Sylvia Day’s and Gennifer Albin’s empowering advice. And to Janet Wallace, the founder of the UtopYA Con: I’m sorry your cup song attempt didn’t work out, but I put it in this book as a tribute to your awesomeness! Thank you also to the librarians, teachers, book bloggers, fellow writers, and booksellers who have given priceless word-of-mouth advertising because they thought my stories were worth sharing. I am forever grateful.

  To my mom, for teaching me to believe in God from an early age. And for always making sure I had enough books to read with Saturday trips to the public library. And to my dad, for spending the summers of my childhood in and around Grand Haven with me, inadvertently supplying the wonderful setting for this trilogy.

  To my teachers, for your belief in me over the years that I. Am. A. Writer.

  To my students, past and present, thank you for your excitement over Mrs. Ayres getting her books published! Books kept me sane during my adolescent years, and it’s a humbling thought to hear you say the same about this trilogy and declare Olga your favorite female book heroine. And especially Adam Strongin, you were taken from us far too early, but your light shines on. It’s in remembrance of you that I added Adam to this book because one of the last lessons you taught me was that books can and do make a difference at a time when I was somehow doubting that undeniable truth.

  To my own children, you deserve far more thanks than I can fit in a few lines, but know that I love you with all that I have and appreciate you putting up with Neurotic Author Mom, who absently nods her head to everything you’re saying while having another discussion with the voices that live in her head (wait, why did that come out in third person?). And hey, at least you know how to microwave your own meals and fold your own laundry now! You’re welcome.

  To Dan Ayres. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I spotted you sitting in the back row of my third period Word Processing class on the first day of high school and heard a voice in my head whispering for the first time. You’re going to marry him someday. And me being me, I wasn’t frightened by this voice but instead, plopped myself down in the seat next to you. We may have taken a detour for four years after that fateful day, but everyt
hing happened for a reason. You’re always asking me if you’re Conner or Nate—and the answer is, you are both! You are the man I imagine in every love story I read (even if I do add on some Theo James biceps at times *wink, wink*). I love you more than the sum of allll my book boyfriends (which let’s be honest, is a ridiculous amount). You are my BFF. You are my soul mate. You are the reason I know true love exists. You are too good for words.

  To Starbucks, Hershey’s, and Google… I could not have done this without you.

  To everyone else that I love. There are too many of you to name, but you know who you are and you are awesomesauce! Thanks for being part of my crazy life.

  And finally, to my readers. For the past three years, I’ve lived in the world of my characters. Through them I saw my own goals, dreams, truths, fears, and thoughts. I know you saw some of your own, too. Thank you so, so, sooo much for sticking with me through this three-part roller coaster ride, full of plot twists, cliff-hangers, first loves, lost loves, poignant moments, and teenage angst. Your letters give me all the feels, and you helped cross off the #1 item on my bucket list.

  I’ll say it one more time: Eighteen things can save a life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 said it best, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Throughout all of life’s seasons, there is no greater gift than being there for your friends. It’s your turn now. Go do wild and crazy things together and don’t worry if you have to come up with a Plan B for your life, or even a Plan Z. Because sometimes it takes a long time to become the person we’re meant to be. You’ll get there.

  Discuss the prologue. Did you like hearing Nate’s thoughts? What surprised you when seeing things from his point of view?

  In the prologue, Nate says that he defines rich by counting all the things he has that money can’t buy. List all the ways that you’re ‘rich.’ Do you agree with Nate’s philosophy, or would you trade everything on your list for a million dollars?

  Olga says, "What I thought about most was how Conner broke my heart. I thought him waking up from his coma would be our second chance, but the truth was, we never even got our first chance." Do you agree? Why?

  Fun Fact: Jamie Ayres met her husband the first day of high school when she was fourteen and heard the first of many voices in her head, whispering she’d marry him someday. In the meantime, she fell in love with someone else while her future husband became one of her best friends. How do you think that experience influenced the writing of this trilogy?

  The series title is My So-Called Afterlife. Do you believe in life after death? If so, what do you think it’s like?

  How would you react if you found out someone could read your thoughts?

  Do you think we control our thoughts or do our thoughts control us? Support your belief.

  Do you agree with Nate’s eighteen thoughts that are featured at the beginning of some chapters? If not, which ones do you disagree with and why? Which ‘thought’ was your favorite?

  Has this novel changed the way you regard death? Grief? God? Why or why not?

  In a therapy session, Dr. Judy tells Olga, “I’m saying some things can’t be explained. I mean, do you understand how life began, the nature of time, whether there is free will or it’s all destiny? Some things are so inherently complex that they will forever elude human understanding. No philosopher, scientist, or psychologist alive today has the foggiest notion of how the mind, time, or consciousness works. It’s arrogant to suppose those things will ever be understood completely. I’d say forget the past and remember how to live.” Do you agree? How does one forget a terrible event from the past and move on?

  When Riel substituted in Nate’s English class, he lectured on Alice in Wonderland and says the Red Queen asked two of the most important questions one can ever be asked. One, where did you come from? Two, where are you going? Do you agree they’re the most important? Explain.

  Where did you come from?

  Where are you going?

  Who is your favorite character from the series? Why? Do you know any people like the ones in the Jedi Order?

  Knowing what you know now, do you think it was necessary for Conner, Olga, & Nate to die? Would you change the ending of 18 Thoughts? If so, how?

  If you had the chance to rewind your life and go back to the past, would you? Has there been a year you’d like a redo on? Was it because that period of time was so much fun or because there’s something you wish you could change?

  Imagine the Jedi Order together at their ten year high school reunion. What do you think they’re up to?

  Make a list of your own thoughts, or beliefs, that represent how you view life and the world around you. Can you come up with eighteen?

  Now that you have completed this book, we hope you will leave a review so that other readers may benefit from your perspective. Authors like Jamie Ayres live and die by your reviews, after all!

  Please visit http://curiosityquills.com/reader-survey/ to share your reading experience with the author of this book!

  Caller 107, by Matthew Cox

  (http://j.mp/1n0HG1o)

  When thirteen-year-old Natalie Rausch said she would die to meet DJ Crazy Todd, she did not mean to be literal.

  Whenever WROK 107 ran contests, she would dive for the phone, getting only busy signals. At least, with her best friend, even losing was fun―before her parents ruined that too.

  Her last desperate attempt to get their attention goes as wrong as possible. With no one to blame for her mess of a life but herself, karma comes full circle and gives her just a few hours to make up for two years’ worth of mistakes–or be forever lost.

  Catch Me When I Fall, by Vicki Leigh

  (http://j.mp/YDIKEN)

  Seventeen-year-old Daniel Graham has spent two-hundred years guarding humans from the Nightmares that feed off people’s fears. Then he’s given an assignment to watch over sixteen-year-old Kayla Bartlett, a patient in a psychiatric ward. When the Nightmares take an unprecedented interest in her, a vicious attack forces Daniel to whisk her away to Rome where others like him can keep her safe. But when the Protectors are betrayed and Kayla is kidnapped, Daniel will risk everything to save her—even his immortality.

  …unless one of my best supporters is really public enemy number one.

  Deadgirl, by B.C. Johnson

  (http://bit.ly/1riW4cG)

  Lucy Day, 15 years old, is murdered on her very first date. Not one to take that kind of thing lying down, she awakens a day later with a seemingly human body and more than a little confusion. Lucy tries to return to her normal life, but the afterlife keeps getting in the way.

  Zack, her crush-maybe-boyfriend, isn’t exactly excited that she ditched him on their first date. Oh, and Abraham, Lucy’s personal Grim Reaper, begins hunting her, dead-set on righting the error that dropped her back into the spongy flesh of a living girl. Lucy must put her mangled life back together, escape re-death, and learn to control her burgeoning powers while staying one step ahead of Abraham.

  But when she learns the devastating price of coming back from the dead, Lucy is forced to make the hardest decision of her re-life — can she really sacrifice her loved ones to stay out of the grave?

  Exacting Essence, by James Wymore

  (http://j.mp/1qAIGgM)

  Remember waking up late in the night after a nightmare? Your mother holding you tight and whispering it's all just a dream and everything would be all right? She lied.

  Evil clowns haunted Megan's dreams for years. Even though nobody ever said she was crazy, she knew they were all thinking it. With her life falling apart, she turns suicidal until a new therapist suggests the impossible: dreams are real.

  Most, of course, forget theirs as soon as they wake up. Megan is not so lucky. She's also not so powerless.

  Appetizer:

  Book Cover

  Copyright & Publisher

  Title Page

  Main Course:

  Before

  Prologue

  Part
One

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Part Two

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Part Three

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Dessert:

  Closing

  About the Author

  More from Curiosity Quills Press