His smile is quick and he presses another hard kiss to my lips.
“I’ll take care of you.”
Maddox walks away, leaving me standing in the empty stairwell and the sound of sexual tension is listening to his slow receding steps followed by my uneven breathing. I’m hunched over a little and after a moment, I straighten. My head leans back against the wall because my heart can’t seem to slow.
I get myself together and this time when I catch Maddox’s eye, he has a playful look on his face. He’s in a better mood and now I’m the one on edge.
I look around for Hollis. Tonight he’ll either find out about Maddox or he’ll get lucky. Judging by the way he’s talking up the server he was watching before, I think it’s the latter which makes me lucky in return.
“Hey,” I greet them and Holly’s eyes light up when he sees me.
“Emmy, meet Jordan.”
I look at Jordan, who seems a little more flamboyant than Holly…a lot more flamboyant as Holly isn’t flamboyant at all. He shakes my hand and the way his gaze slides to Hollis, I know he won’t be home tonight.
I lean in to give Hollis a hug.
“Have fun tonight and be safe,” I whisper in his ear as I tug his hair a bit.
“You know it,” he says as he hugs me back.
He doesn’t bother telling me the same. Because he has no idea I plan on being in the company of one extremely sexy gentleman who happens to be charming me wordlessly out of my fancy dress.
Chapter 19
Maddox still stops for condoms on the way to my place. Thankfully, he’s got them tucked away somewhere, and I wonder if it’s to keep me from freaking out or pinching myself again. This is actually happening.
I unlock the apartment door and peek down the hall just in case. When I don’t hear anything, I beckon Maddox inside and then we’re kissing, and I can’t help but listen to what it sounds like to fall.
Falling for Maddox sounds like kissing in the darkness where we can be who we want to be, making our way to my bedroom, breathless giggles chasing us there. And then I’m no longer falling. I’m on my back on my bed and Maddox is sliding his fingers under my dress.
“Too fast?” he asks, his voice a hoarse whisper.
Is he asking about my heart? Because it’s beating a million times a second and I’m scared he can see it trying to escape. But when he rolls my dress up just under my breasts and kisses my stomach, I know he’s wanting to know how far we can go tonight.
I don’t know. All I know is that his hands on me are everything I expected and more.
The slight scrape of his calluses on my skin makes me sigh.
“If I’m going too fast, let me know.” He sits up and takes off his shirt and I can only stay on my back, my hair fanned out beneath me. He’s all muscle and skin and the smatter of hair at his navel has me licking my lips.
“Can I take off more?” he asks and I nod. When his fingers reach for the hem of my rolled up dress, I try not to react. I try not to let my nerves get the best of me. But because he’s so into the moment, he can tell. “I don’t have to, Em.”
I sit up and grab his face and kiss him. I don’t want to ruin this moment. This moment where my past is catching up to my present and I’m remembering what it feels like to be loved and cast aside. To give yourself and then have nothing left. To run and hide from what once brought you immense joy.
“I’m sorry,” I say and I lean my forehead against his. “I’m so sorry.”
He’s kissing my face and petting my hair and holding me so tight that I know I’ll end up giving myself to him the way I did before. With a frenzied need to make him stay with me forever and maybe I’ll have nothing left for myself. But Maddox is one of those things you put everything or nothing into, and the way he holds me makes me feel like even a portion of Maddox will be more than enough to keep me company.
“Don’t be sorry,” he tells me. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
I shake my head but the movement is short because my face is still in his hands. He’s pressing kisses to my lips, and I want to cry even though there’s no music.
Maddox gets up and takes off his pants and I avert my gaze. Then he grabs my hands and helps me from the bed. When I’m standing, he pulls my dress over my head and I’m standing in my bra and panties in front of this gorgeous man.
“Get comfortable,” he tells me and then he gets into my bed, under the covers. I blank for a moment before heading to my dresser and pulling out a nightgown. I can feel his eyes on me as I remove my bra. I push it into my dresser and when I turn to him, I feel like dream Maddox and real-life Maddox are one in the same. Because the way the lights from my window hit him, he looks a little fuzzy and a lot beautiful.
I get into bed and he pulls me into his arms.
The sexual tension is ebbing and I’m sad to see it go.
I wake up and I’m horrified to feel wetness near my mouth. I open my eyes and I’m equally horrified to see I’m drooling on Maddox’s chest and I’m hoping he isn’t awake but with my luck he will be.
I close my eyes tightly and groan before wiping my mouth.
“So gross,” I whisper. He chuckles.
“I’ve had my fingers inside of you. I plan on having much more inside of you. Don’t worry about it.”
I flush, despite knowing what he’s saying is true. When I hear the front door open I look at Maddox with wide eyes.
“He’s not supposed to be here,” I tell him as quietly as I can.
Maddox looks too comfortable to care. I hop up from the bed and snatch my robe from the hook by my closet and I can hear his resigned sigh. I know he’s tired of the secrets but I can’t….
And then Holly is knocking on the door.
“You have until the count of ten and then I’m coming in to wake your ass up,” Holly says. “We have brunch plans.”
“I’m up!” I yell and before I can tell Maddox to hide, Holly is opening the door.
I’ll remember several things about this moment:
Maddox remaining exactly where he is with a smile on his face.
Holly’s look of pure shock mixed with a hint of awe.
The sound of my loud sputter of laughter once I realized there was nothing I could do to stop this from happening.
“I fucking knew it!” Hollis yells, and I collapse to the floor in a fit of giggles. Maddox gets up from my bed and kneels in front of me to help me up.
“I’m okay,” I tell him through my tears. He gives me a silly smile, and we both look at Hollis before bursting out with laughter again.
Hollis turns to walk out but not before telling us that he knew the entire time.
I roll my eyes because I feel unexpectedly lighter now that he knows.
“Not so bad, eh?” Maddox says as he brushes the hair from my face.
I frown. “Only because he’s my best friend.”
“Or maybe because no one will care, Em.” He reaches for his slacks and I frown again.
“You’re leaving?”
“You have brunch plans, and I’m sure you and Hollis will have a lot to talk about.” He starts buttoning his shirt and my hands are tucked into my robe pockets.
“Are we okay?”
He stops buttoning and faces me. Then he smiles and walks toward me. When he plants a kiss on my cheek, I smile too.
“You have to trust that I’ll tell you if we aren’t. But, yes. We are in my book. Okay?”
I nod and he asks if I have a spare toothbrush. While he uses my bathroom, I tidy my room. Once he’s gone, I get ready for my date with Hollis.
We’re seated at a diner and Hollis is smiling at me. I’m trying to ignore it but seeing as it’s just the two of us, it’s hard.
“You know that I knew you two were together, right?”
“You’ve only said it a million times,” I tell him as I cock my head to the side. On our way over, before we order. Hell, as I got ready. I’ve been hearing it since he barged into my room.
<
br /> “I figured you’d come out and say it because, you know, I’m your best friend but it’s okay. At least we can talk about it now.”
My phone rings but I ignore it.
“Do you get why I didn’t tell you?”
“Because you’d feel guilty about not telling your dad?”
I drop my gaze before looking into his eyes once more.
“What makes you say that?”
“You carry so much on you, and you’re saddled with this guilt over your father. You think that just because he loves you and worked hard to take care of you, you owe him something. To an extent, you do, but you’re only expected to be a good person. That guilt taints nearly every aspect of your life. You’re guilty because he doesn’t know about your relationship, you’re guilty because you don’t want to be the next CEO if that means you can’t produce. You’re spending your life being guilty when you’ve done nothing wrong, and Maddox goes along with it because he very clearly adores you.”
What he says batters me over the head because I can hear the truth for what it is. But it’s the last sentence that startles me.
“Clearly?”
“I’m not saying anyone else has noticed, but I certainly have.” I tried to be discreet, but I had no clue we weren’t being discreet at all. “If people watched the two of you, they’d see it. It’s written all over your faces. I’m surprised Mr. Kingsley hasn’t caught on, although he avoids you like the plague because it seems he’s feeling guilty as well.”
My jaw drops and our food is placed before us.
“What? Us assistants stick together. Mr. Kingsley’s said he’s getting restless. Word around town is he isn’t ready to let the company go after all.”
I don’t know what to think of this information overload.
“I don’t even know what goes on in my own company.”
Hollis looks at me over his mug before setting it down.
“Your company?”
“Well, apparently not,” I say on an exhale.
We eat brunch and make idle chitchat but I’m no fool. I can feel that this conversation isn’t over. As he picks up the check, Hollis asks the dreaded question.
“When do you plan on telling your dad?”
My phone rings and I look at it before sending it to voicemail.
“Soon?” I shrug and he shakes his head.
“Tell him before he finds out on his own. I’m easy but he won’t be.”
Chapter 20
Monday mornings are always a gift wrapped in barbed wire straight from Satan’s lair. However, I think I’m managing this one all right. While I heard the rumors of my father’s comeback, I still had work piled high on my desk that needs attending to so I dive right in. Time passes quickly and before I know it, I hear Holly speaking to someone, wishing them luck prying me from my desk. I look up, and I know I need no prying unless it’s from his beautiful body.
Maddox is all smiles today and he leans down to kiss me.
“It feels nice,” he says, “knowing that someone knows.”
I grin in agreement. Strangely enough, it does. I worry that the appeal is the secrecy but here he is. I have to shake my head because I also thought the appeal was the person I was and that clearly wasn’t true. I was accusing Maddox of all kinds of things in my mind and it wasn’t fair to him.
“Hollis invited us to a dinner his friends are throwing,” I say, hoping to take my mind off of my stupidity. I’m still typing, attempting to multitask. My bracelets are hitting each other with each movement of my wrist. I almost want to take them off and toss them in my desk.
“Hollis has friends?” Maddox asks as he walks around the room and I laugh.
“You mean besides me? Yes. He grew up here.”
I’m still looking at my monitor as I talk and when I look back up, he’s in front of me¸ messing with his phone.
“Everything okay?”
He smiles and nods. “Just recording you.”
I send him a puzzled expression.
“You’re the one who likes to pick up the sounds of the world around you. I could use this someday.”
I shrug and turn to my computer again.
“Busy?” he asks.
“Oh, you know. Just running a company here.”
He puts his phone away and picks up the scattered sticky notes from my desk and piles them on top of one another neatly.
“I hope you can understand the bits of rambling on these things,” he says as he hands them to me.
“I can. This one,” I point to the one that has the word of a boutique I’d like to check out, “reminds me to shop. This one,” I point to the one under it, “reminds me I’m catching a movie with Hollis tonight.” I set the notes down and smile up at him.
“None for me?”
“Hardly. You’re not easily forgettable.”
He grabs the fresh pad of sticky notes and a pen from the mug I keep them in.
“When’s the dinner?” he asks.
“Tomorrow night. Tribeca.” He’s scribbling something on a sticky note and I pause my typing. “I’m not going to forget,” I tell him with a laugh. “Hollis is my assistant. You think he’ll let me forget? He runs my schedule.”
“Nah. But now you won’t forget this either.” He continues to write and I go back to typing. I’ll take his reminder and stuff them with the rest I have piling or stuck to my monitor.
Finally, he sets the pad facedown and tucks my pen behind his ear.
“Stealing your pen. It writes well.” I watch as his denim-covered ass walks away from me and when he’s gone, I get right back to work. I’m about to make a note of something on a sticky note when I see the top one has already been used. The handwriting is masculine, full of bold strikes and capital letters. I smile as I read:
To the untrained eye, you’re cold and quiet, but I know your warmth and I’ve heard your voice. You’re not quiet, you’re listening. And you’re not cold. Not many can handle the fire in your soul.
I’m holding my breath as I read the words over and over. Hollis knocks on my door, startling me from my moment.
“Yes?” I ask, my skin flushed.
“Everything okay?” He walks toward me and I nod.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Hungry? You haven’t stopped all day and it’s almost time to go.”
I glance at the clock on my desk and sure enough, it’s nearly five o’ clock.
“Why do I do this to myself ?” I feel the hunger headache kicking in. “Close up shop and let’s go.”
I’m grabbing my things and I hear a low whistle from Hollis. I glance at him and notice he’s reading my note. No sense in getting angry over it, so I smile because I feel like a giddy school girl.
“He actually gets you, Em. He really fucking does.”
He sounds impressed, the way I was at first.
“Yeah,” I tell him. “He really does.”
We head out and when I get home, I send Maddox a text.
Emerson: I loved your note.
Not too long after, he responds.
Maddox: The truth comes easily.
All through my plans with Hollis, even before I go to bed, I’m high on life. I don’t think the world realizes the power of words or kindness. Or how truly wonderful it feels to be seen and cared for. But because I know, I want to make sure the people I love know how it feels as well.
Christmas is coming quickly and I’m worried about how we’re going to spend it. I typically go to my father’s house, but that would mean either inviting Maddox and telling my father or making Maddox spend it alone. Neither of these options make me happy as I mull over them on our way to Hollis’ friend’s private Christmas party. Holly is at ease, his outfit casual and the fedora on his hat tipped toward the back of his head. He hasn’t a care in the world. Maddox is holding my hand, and every so often he looks at me like he knows something is on my mind but I won’t say a word. Not until I know what I’m going to do. We get to Tribeca and the build
ing we pull up in front of is sleek and intimidating, much like the rest of New York City. When we’re in the elevator, Hollis makes small talk and I remain silent, despite Maddox’s continued staring. The doors open and we hear John Mayer’s dulcet tones as we step off the elevator and into the hallway where the doors to the apartment are open.
It’s incredible. Easily worth twice my rent and when we enter, everyone hugs Hollis and kisses my cheek. I watch as they turn to Maddox. I introduce him to everyone at once, and they all seem a little confused until I tell them he’s my boyfriend and not Hollis’. Camryn is sweet the way she tries to include him in conversations but we’re easily split off. More people talk to her or amongst each other than to Maddox and me. Even Hollis seems at home amongst the others, but he’s been with these people all of his life.
The room is full of socialites and Upper East Side babies grown up to be Upper East Side snobs. Some blue blood. Some old money royalty. As I glance down at my attire, I realize I fit in with them on the outside. But as I take in Maddox’s outfit, I realize he might not and if I notice it, I know they have too.
But Maddox doesn’t let it bother him. He talks to everyone openly and his smile doesn’t waver, and I can’t help the way my cheeks flush at the sight of him. I love that he doesn’t look like the guys here. He doesn’t look like what everyone else thinks I should be with. I have a knack for picking guys I shouldn’t be with. This time, it’s different, I tell myself. I can’t even remember what it was like to feel this way about anyone else, and I argue that it’s because I never have before.
We settle in at the dinner table, with Maddox beside me to my left and Hollis to my right. I try to ignore the wait staff politely but Maddox talks to them. He thanks them and hands them my plates so they don’t have to reach over him.
I curse inwardly when he chooses the wrong fork for his salad and as I glance about the table, those who are not actively engaged in conversation are looking at us curiously. I lean toward him and grab his free hand.
“You’re using the wrong fork,” I whisper in his ear before kissing it just on its scar.
“I don’t understand the need for so many of them.” He smiles briefly, and I detect a hint of edge in his words. He releases my hand, and I wish I hadn’t said anything.
The Sound of Serendipity Page 17