Murder, She Slopes

by Rachael Stapleton

  “I see. So, you’d rather I stick my dirty fingers in Pike’s pastries, huh? Well, I’ll have you know I only do that for chocolate and, anyway, your custard is delicious already.”

  Feliz shook his head. “I’m working my churros into it. I want it to have a twist for the big celebration.”

  If it turned out half as good as the churro, they’d sell out opening day.

  Juniper gathered her black leather purse and left a short time later—calling Jack, who promised to be there bright and early in the morning. Once outside, she turned to gaze up at the Gothic square tower, topped by the imposing iron widow’s walk; it looked stark against the bright gray sky. Sometimes Juniper had to pinch herself. It was hard to believe that, not long ago, this had been a run-down, ghostly shell. The former Doctor’s House had been owned by Pike’s business partner Lulu McCloskey, but thanks to her cousin Helen Patone and her haunting ways, the house had been abandoned.

  Spirited Construction, a.k.a Jack and Juniper, had cleaned up the Gothic Revival facade, reinforced the widow’s walk and patterned shingle roof, and added a commercial kitchen, taproom and dining area. Voila. The Gothic Haunt. They’d thought about brewing their own beer but the Bohemian district was filled with wineries and craft breweries, so they decided they’d rather work with them than compete. They were also going to work with the town’s council to offer up tour packages in combination with the other local restaurants and wineries. Bohemian Lake was already a tourist destination so why not add to its offerings?

  Juniper was tempted to take her chef’s advice and drop back into Cookies & Corsets, if only to tell Pike about her inspection and inquire about the Grinch from earlier, but she was feeling more than a little drained.

  Instead, she grabbed a bowl of French onion soup and a sandwich from Deer’s Deli and took it home to Jack’s place. The place was littered with boxes ready to be moved into the attic apartment of the Gothic Inn because what’s an Inn without Innkeepers? They just needed to finish up the cosmetics and they could move the furniture up. That was next up on her to-do list. Speaking of which, with food in her tummy, she set the tub to fill and reviewed the to-do list. By ten o’clock, she was bored. The bath was heavenly but the unfinished attic was weighing on her mind. It wouldn’t hurt to go over to the mansion and plan the layout.

  Her phone buzzed with an incoming text as she was pulling on her knit sweater: I know what’s going on. I have proof. Get over here.

  There were also two missed calls from Feliz.

  Juniper hit her voicemail and listened as she pulled on her coat and boots, and headed out the door. His voicemail basically said the same thing as his text.

  I know what’s going on now. I have proof. Get over here so we can call the cops and get to the bottom of this.

  ***

  “Feliz?” Juniper called as she closed the door behind her. The lights were all on, but he wasn’t in the taproom. Probably still playing with his new recipe in the kitchen. Juniper crossed the plank floor to the other side of the taproom and pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen. The scent of cinnamon and vanilla made her mouth water. His latest custard creation sat on the stainless steel counter. A pot of milk had burned away on the stove. On the prep station there was lemon, cinnamon and egg yolks separated from the whites. It was odd he’d walk away with the stove on and eggs out. Juniper switched the burner off and rinsed the pot, then went looking for Feliz.

  He wasn’t in the parlor, the dining room or upstairs. Juniper stopped outside the men’s restroom and knocked on the door. Twice. It was empty. She stood in the hallway and tapped her foot. Then she went back down the hallway to the taproom. Where could he be? Surely, he wouldn’t have taken off and left the place unlocked—especially after asking her to come down here. Could he have stepped outside for some fresh air? Not with milk on the stove. Juniper sat down at the piano and played around.

  Ten minutes later, Feliz still hadn’t returned. She started to pace the foyer, and that’s when something moved. Spooked, she jumped, plastering her back against the foyer’s paneled wall.

  When Juniper looked straight at it, it disappeared. But in her peripheral vision she could see a woman in a long old-fashioned gown, motioning for Juniper to follow her into the basement. Juniper called out her chef’s name again. Why had he bothered calling if he was going to leave? Juniper snatched her cell phone from her pocket and tapped his number on the speed dial with a lot more force than necessary. Hopefully, he’d have a good explanation. Seconds later, the sound of a phone ringing made her jump. The sound was muffled, so she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Instead, she followed the ghostly woman to the basement door. The sound got louder. The ringing seemed to be coming from downstairs in the basement. It didn’t make sense that Feliz would be in the basement, especially in the dark. Juniper fumbled for the light switch and then tread carefully down the stairs, pausing at the midway point when the spirit disappeared. This was the same place Juniper had seen her earlier.

  Gee, thanks for all the help. The ringing had now stopped, and Feliz Merlot’s voice mail picked up.

  “Feliz?” Juniper hit the next light switch and the overhead lights blazed on. Juniper blinked a couple times at the sudden brightness. The door to the wine cellar was open. As Juniper moved inside the room, she spotted Feliz on the floor underneath one of the new wine racks that were meant to be installed upstairs behind the bar. Her fight or flight kicked in and she raced to him. Her hands shook horribly as she lifted the wooden shelving off him. Then she recoiled in horror, there was a good reason why Feliz wasn’t answering his phone.

  Two

  _____________

  F eliz was covered in glass and spilt wine. Juniper hyperventilated as she spun around and raced back up the wooden basement steps, almost tripping halfway up. She couldn’t catch her breath. Somehow, she managed to make it into the parlor where she collapsed on the antique sofa and called 911.

  Juniper paced the taproom floor, occasionally stopping to stare out at the Main Street traffic. Even at this late hour, the street and sidewalks were busy. People finishing up their Christmas shopping, oblivious to the fact that her friend was dead. Eve and Pike rushed up the front walkway. Juniper didn’t have to ask how they knew to come. Eve’s spy network was legendary. The Mabels monitored the police scanners like regular people trolled social media. Juniper choked back a sob as they reached her. If she cried now, she’d never stop. It wasn’t long before the Bohemian Lake police arrived and began their investigation.

  “Here, drink this.”

  Juniper took the cup of tea offered to her. “Thanks, Pike.” She was now sitting at one of the tables in the dining room waiting for the investigators to finish. Jack’s cousin was the detective in charge; Detective Kaden Bones looked like an older version of Jack. They both had stubble and dark hair—although Kaden’s was silvering a bit at the temples now. Juniper took a sip and made a face at the doctored tea. “What did you put in here?” It tasted like whisky, but Juniper didn’t have any on hand.

  “Eve just made it. Is there something wrong with it?”

  Juniper couldn’t resist laughing even though she teetered back on the edge of tears. “Of course she did.” She took a large swallow of whisky, ahem, tea. “It’s good, being unconscious would be ideal right about now.”

  Pike smirked and pulled out a chair, sitting down beside her. “You’re so quiet. Tell me what’s going on in that brain of yours.”

  “Oh, Pike. I just keep asking myself why? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I look harder for him when I arrived? All the time I’d spent waiting and complaining to myself that he wasn’t here, he was—oh God—what if Feliz was still alive when I got here?”

  “You can’t go there, Junie. Don’t do that to yourself.”

  “But what if he was calling for me and I didn’t hear? I could have saved him if only I’d thought to check the cellar.” The tears Juniper had been holding back burst like a dam. She was still sobbing when
Jack’s cousin pulled up a chair to interview her.

  “Let’s get these questions out of the way so Pike can take you home to sleep, okay?”

  Juniper nodded. “Especially if it helps you catch whoever did this to him.”

  “Did what to him?”

  “Killed him,” Juniper said as she thought about all the little things that had happened over the last few weeks and how Feliz had been convinced they were being sabotaged. Juniper hadn’t believed him. If she’d reported the incidents earlier, Feliz would be alive. It was no coincidence that he figured out who it was, and an hour later he was dead.

  Kaden took her hand. “Junie, no one killed Feliz. This was a tragic accident. Nothing else. Feliz must have slipped on a piece of broken wine bottle and pulled the shelf down on top of himself, hitting his head on the floor.”

  Juniper pushed her mug aside with her other hand. “No. I don’t believe that. It was absolutely not an accident. That wine rack is nowhere near heavy enough to kill someone even if Feliz had been clumsy enough to slip and pull it down on top of himself. Why would there be a broken wine bottle on the floor?” She told him about the vandalism and that day’s electrical incident. “Feliz called me tonight and said he knew what was going on.” Juniper’s voice caught, but she continued anyway. “I didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe someone would actually come in here and do those things to try to keep us from opening. I should have believed him.”

  “Even if someone was trying to keep you from opening, that doesn’t mean there was any foul play in Feliz Merlot’s death.”

  “Feliz said he had proof. That’s why he called me to come down here. He had something to show me.”

  “Something in the cellar? Did you see anything suspicious down there?”

  “Other than my friend’s dead body? The ghost of Victoria made an appearance. But it’s not like she killed him. She just led me to his body.”

  He was quiet like he was thinking about that. “What do you think Feliz wanted to show you?”

  “I have no idea. He was baking custard. There was absolutely no reason for him to go into the wine cellar.”

  “Most likely, he heard the wine bottle fall and shatter and he went to check it out.”

  “But he left me a voicemail on my cell phone—he said to come now.” Juniper felt the tears coming again, and she pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. If only she’d believed Feliz sooner, this wouldn’t have happened.

  Three

  _____________

  S nowflakes twirled in the light of the overhead streetlamps, gathering on the neighbor’s giant, clear plastic orb that held Santa and his sleigh on the lawn. Sadly, the sight was marred by the blue strobing lights of the emergency vehicles. They cast an eerie glow over the neighborhood as Juniper, Pike and Eve descended the snowy steps of the Gothic Haunt. Bohemian Lake was a near-ghost town at three in the morning, but that wasn’t the only reason it looked and felt different to Juniper, someone in this town had murdered her friend.

  Pike and Eve had insisted on walking her. They even tried to spend the night but Juniper had shooed them away. She wanted to be alone. The idea of calling Jack crossed her mind, but he would be up soon for his three-hour drive back. Instead, she made herself a Neocitran and cried herself to sleep.

  In the morning, she cried some more. By the time she had showered and dressed, she was determined to find the person responsible.

  She returned to the Gothic Haunt with a renewed purpose and, before she started bawling again, she pulled out the mop and a bucket. Crime scenes were messy. She was halfway done cleaning when Jack showed up to replace the vent’s electrical wire. She had barely dried her hands on her apron before he folded her into a hug. His sweater was soft and smelled of sandalwood.

  “How you holding up, babe?” he asked and handed her a coffee when they’d finished snuggling. “Kaden called and filled me in. I almost got a speeding ticket trying to get back to you.”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  Jack nodded. My goodness, he was handsome. Even the laugh lines from his near-perpetual grin didn’t seem to age him. “Listen, don’t get mad, but I want you to consider taking some time off. We can delay the opening.”

  Nope. No way. They had worked too hard to stay on schedule. If Feliz had been in her place, he’d have kept going.

  Jack must have recognized the determined look on her face. “Yeah, I didn’t think you would go gently into the silent night.” He glanced around. “So, where’s this wire we failed over?”

  Juniper showed it to him without mentioning anything. She wanted to see his reaction.

  “What the heck happened? Who cut the wire?”

  Juniper wanted to tell him about her chef’s—and now her—suspicions, but she held back. He’d never leave her to go back to the Queen Anne jobsite if he thought she was in danger, and they needed that paycheck if they were going to cover their bills. “Please just fix it.”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re keeping secrets?”

  Juniper patted him on the shoulder. “It’s just your distrusting nature.”

  He rolled his eyes and got to work.

  “Juniper?”

  Juniper was on her way into the parlor when she smelled Pike’s signature perfume—baked goods.

  “Junie?” Pike called again.

  “In here.”

  Pike whooshed into the parlor carrying a Christmas tin. She put the tin down and crushed Juniper in a bear hug.

  Juniper disentangled herself before she started crying again. Pike was like a sister to her—they even looked alike. When they’d modeled in college, the photographer often used them in shoots where they wanted twins. And like a sister, she always knew how to make her laugh… and cry.

  “I’m doing better now that Jack’s back. I still can’t believe Feliz is gone, though,” Juniper said.

  Pike lowered herself into one of the wingback chairs that Juniper had picked up at the local antique shop. Juniper sat on the sofa. “I know,” Pike whispered opening the tin and handing Juniper a cupcake and napkin. “Feliz was so nice. We just exchanged recipes yesterday.”

  Juniper broke off a piece of cupcake and brought it to her mouth. “Oh my goodness, is this gingerbread?”

  Pike nodded. “Mmm-hmm, with a cinnamon cream cheese frosting.” She licked her finger as she said it, so it came out kind of garbled. “This is his recipe. I gave him my aunt’s recipe for cinnamon flan. Maybe I’ll make some in his honor.”

  “That would be nice.” Juniper picked some more at the cupcake but she couldn’t bring herself to finish it. “Did Feliz mention anything about the strange things that happened here lately?”

  “Like what? The Ghost?”

  Juniper told her what Feliz suspected, including what he’d said in the voicemail.

  “Why didn’t you say anything last night? It wasn’t an accident, then?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Pike was silent, studying her. “I guess that makes sense,” she said finally.

  “What do you mean it makes sense?”

  Pike put a hand on her arm. “Well, surely not everyone in the neighborhood wants you to turn this house into an Inn and Taproom.”

  Juniper stood and paced in front of her before sitting back down. “But you said yourself that the town had a severe shortage of places to stay overnight. There’s only Caravan Manor, and it’s outside of town. This house was an eyesore before Jack and I fixed it up.”

  “I know that. I just mean not everyone thinks that way. I don’t think anyone minds the Inn part but the fact that you’re going to have a tap room. Think about it, Junie, you have a good relationship with most of the local craft brewers and wineries in the area. Hell, some of them are family, and then you brought in an exotic chef. I bet there are more than a few people who feel threatened by that.”

  “Gimme names, Hart?”

  “Okay, how about the other licensed establishment owner in town—Evan—he owns Guitars and Cadill
acs?”

  “Was that the guy who shoved me yesterday?”

  Pike nodded. “I’ve heard Evan is afraid you’ll steal all his customers. He was spouting off the other day about boycotting your place. He’s even considering adding something besides fried food to his menu.”

  Guitars and Cadillacs was a small neighborhood tavern two blocks away. It was a shots-and-beer kind of place that featured live music.

  “That’s ridiculous. I seriously doubt the Guitars and Cadillacs clientele would be interested in coming here.” Juniper leaned back in her seat. “I’ll talk to him.”

  “Ah… actually… I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

  “And why not?”

  “Because he also happens to be Sally’s latest boytoy.”

  “Sally, as in Jack’s ex-girlfriend, Big Boobs?”

  “The one and only. Apparently, she’s holding a bit of a grudge, which makes you persona non grata. He’s as likely to shoot you, Junie, as to look at you so please don’t approach him.”

  “Well, where in the hell does she get off. I was with Jack first. She stole him from me.” Juniper’s blood pressure was rising just thinking about it.

  “I know that, Junie, but those two are crazy. Logic need not apply, if you know what I mean.”

  “Anyone else?”

  Pike rubbed her fingertips over her lips. “Hmm. Let me think.” She tossed a few more names out, but they were all neighbors Juniper was on good terms with, like her neighbor Louise Olivet, who owned the cheese shop; and Rudolph Windsor, who owned the pharmacy, the gift store and the pawn shop down the street.

  They talked for a few more minutes, but in the end, she didn’t have much in the way of suspects. The most promising one—really the only one—was Sally’s boyfriend, Evan Cross.

  By six in the evening, Juniper couldn’t do another thing. The stainless steel surfaces gleamed and you could probably eat off the hardwood floor. In a way, she was happy to be exhausted. Maybe tonight she’d sleep without visions of dead bodies dancing in her head. The alarm company was coming bright and early the next day to install a state-of-the-art system. If whoever had killed Feliz returned after tonight, they’d be in for a surprise.