Dreaming With A Broken Heart (Hollywood Legends #1)

by Mary J. Williams

  “I missed breakfast,” Wyatt strolled into his office mid-week. It was five minutes to ten. Five minutes until Jade.

  “Sorry to hear it. Why don’t you take an early lunch?”

  In other words, get out of my office. Garrett kept a calm face. He didn’t say anything else. Inside, he was willing his brother to leave.

  “Want to join me?”

  “Nope,” Garrett said, his eyes darting towards the clock. “I’m stuffed. Pancakes at Mom and Dad’s”

  “You’ve been spending a lot of time in Beverly Hills lately.” Wyatt gave him a speculative look. “Any reason?”

  “Other than liking my parents’ company?” Garrett shook his head. “Nope.”

  “You’re a good son,” Wyatt said. “One that is full of shit.”

  “Hey—”

  “There has to be another reason you’re hanging out in Beverly Hills.” Wyatt slowly smiled. “Who is she?”

  Garrett felt his throat tighten. He didn’t need to keep Jade a secret from his family. No one would object to him helping her. For some reason, he wasn’t ready to share Jade.

  “She?” Answer a question with a question. A great avoidance tactic. One Wyatt knew very well.

  “Now I’m certain there’s a woman. You are a straight shooter, brother. Colt charms, Nate bulldozes, and I can wheedle a deal with the best of them.”

  “What am I?”

  “You tell the truth. You never lied. Not really.” Wyatt laughed. “Not that you didn’t try a few times. Usually when you were covering for Nate. Even for your twin brother, you couldn’t lie your way out of a paper bag.”

  “I can lie.” Wyatt’s look told Garrett he wasn’t convinced. “When it’s important. Helping Nate put one over on Mom and Dad hit low on the importance scale.”

  “Fine. Keep your secrets.” Wyatt moved towards the door. He stopped, looking back at his brother. “Is she married?”

  “Of course not.”

  Fuck. He knew the second the words were out of his mouth he was sunk. The grin on Wyatt’s mouth confirmed it.

  “Enjoy your lady, Garrett. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.”

  What he wanted to do was kick Wyatt in the ass. He had fallen for that particular trick since they were boys. It seemed he never learned. He didn’t have long to worry about it. His phone rang. Jade. Right on time.

  “Hi.”

  “Can we meet?”

  Not what he was expecting. Garrett didn’t ask questions. He didn’t hesitate.

  “Name the place and time. I’ll be there.”

  Jade’s choice of meeting place was a surprise. To put it mildly.

  Garrett didn’t have time to argue. Jade whispered the location, told him she would text the rest of the details, then immediately hung up. He tried calling her back. He wanted to suggest half a dozen alternatives that were out of the way in neighborhoods where you could walk alone. Night and day. Unfortunately, Jade turned her phone off. He left a message.

  Jade didn’t get back to him. As a result, Garrett found himself driving to a seedy motel in Gramercy Park. Wisely, he borrowed Hamish’s nondescript car. Brown, dust, dented. He often wondered why a man who could afford any model he wanted would drive a rundown piece of crap. Tonight he was grateful for his friend’s questionable taste. It wouldn’t draw undue attention amidst similar makes and models.

  In the text, Jade asked him to check in, and then text her the room number. He was happy to get there first. If the place were a vermin-infested hole, he would insist they leave. Surprisingly, the room, though shabby, appeared clean.

  Garrett set the key on the scarred table. So far, he was following her instructions to a T. What she wanted him to do next had him hesitating.

  “Turn off all the lights. Make sure the curtains are tightly drawn. Leave the door ajar. Sit as far away from the door as possible. Don’t look at me. Please. Not even a glance.”

  He wondered if the gossip was right. Had Jade’s scumbag husband cut up her face? Was her body scarred as well as her soul? Why ask to meet? Perhaps this was a test. For both of them.

  Not liking it, yet trying to understand, Garrett made the room as light tight as possible. He was fixing the curtains when he heard the approaching tap of heels. Quickly, he walked across the room. He sat with his back to the door. He didn’t plan on looking at her. He would honor Jade’s wishes. He hoped seeing him turned away would give her an added layer of security.

  The door slowly creaked open.

  “Garrett?”

  “I’m over here.”

  He waited while she followed the sound of his voice. Apparently satisfied, she shut the door.

  “Thank you.”

  “I want to help you, Jade. If this is what you need, I’m fine with it.”

  Not fine. More like resigned. Jade didn’t need to know that.

  “It must sound very cloak and dagger.”

  Garrett listened to what sounded like a coat being removed. That made sense. It had to be ninety degrees in the room. He turned on the air conditioner as soon as he arrived. The wall unit was noisy — and ineffective.

  “Did you have trouble finding the place?”

  “No.” Garrett heard the rustle of silk. His body reacted. Christ. Pavlov’s dogs. Even a hint of something sexy and his dick started to harden. Down, boy. For all he knew, she might be wearing very expensive bloomers. Bloomers weren’t a turn on, right? It seemed nobody sent his dick that memo.

  Since he couldn’t ask her what she was wearing without coming across as a pervert, Garrett settled on a more innocuous subject.

  “What kind of car did you drive?”

  “I took the bus.”

  “Are you kidding? You walked all the way from the bus stop? In this neighborhood?”

  “It was fine,” Jade assured him in a low, quiet voice. “No one bothered me.”

  “Then you were damn lucky.” Under any other circumstances, Garrett would have given her hell. Such stupidity deserved a reaming out. Instead, he breathed deeply. She was safe. That’s all that mattered.

  “When we leave, I’ll call you a cab.”

  “Fine.”

  Garrett waited. This was Jade’s play. Wasn’t it up to her to make the first move? Or first speech? Shit. Whatever. It was up to her.

  “I wanted to thank you.”

  “For?”

  “Calling.” There was another pause. “Not that other people haven’t been in touch. Reporters. Neighbors. Women I went to school with who I haven’t spoken with in years.”

  “Rubberneckers.” Garrett knew the type.

  “Yes,” Jade sighed. It sounded achingly sad. “You were the first who mentioned friendship. I’ve been so isolated. So alone. God, I sound pathetic.”

  “No,” Garrett assured her. “You sound like a woman who has been through hell and is trying to come out the other side. Needing a friend isn’t weak, Jade. Needing isn’t weak.”

  “Tell that to my father.”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  The sound Jade made wasn’t a laugh. Not quite. It was too harsh. A raspy bark as though it was too long since she had any reason to let happiness travel through her throat. All it takes is practice, Garrett thought. One laugh a day, to start. He could help with that.

  “My father isn’t easily convinced. When he’s right, the world and their opinions be damned.”

  “What does your therapist say?”

  “Psychiatrist,” Jade said. “According to Dr. Phillips there is a huge distinction.”

  “Pompous ass,” Garrett muttered.

  “Yes!” Jade exclaimed. “That’s what I told my father after my first session.”

  “I take it your father didn’t agree.”

  “I see Dr. Phillips every other day. Does that answer your question?”

  “Jesus, Jade! Every other day?” Garrett couldn’t imagine. “Don’t you run out of things to say?”

  “That hasn’t been a problem with you.” Jade’s heartf
elt words were softly spoken. Garrett heard every single one.

  “Jade—”

  “Dr. Phillips likes repetition,” she hurried on. “I tell him the same thing over and over. He nods. Eventually, Jade is all better. No, not better. I’m erasing the past. Soon, it will be like it never happened.”

  Garrett heard the bitterness. Who could blame her? Her father, with that idiot doctor’s help, was trying to rewrite history. Anson Marlow pushed his daughter into the marriage. The abuse she suffered took place in Marlow’s home. What better way to sweep it all under the rug than to act like it never happened. There was so much wrong with that. Garrett didn’t know where to start.

  “You need someone else, Jade. Throw that Phillips character out on his ass.”

  “My father is insistent. And,” she sighed. “He’s paying the bills.”

  Why hadn’t he thought of that? Money. Jade’s job was to act as hostess for her father. She ran his home. While Anson Marlow received years of free labor, Jade received what? A roof over her head? A husband who almost killed her? Hardly a fair trade.

  “Let me help.” Garrett tried to word his proposition so it wasn’t offensive. “I’ll pay for a new therapist. It’s what any friend would do, Jade.”

  “I have money, Garrett.”

  “You do?”

  “Not a lot. My mother left me some in trust. It came to me when I turned twenty-one.”

  “Your mother? I thought—”

  “I don’t want to talk about her.”

  Her words had heat. More heat than any subject they had touched on. The woman who abandoned Jade to be raised by Anson Marlow was obviously a sore subject. Garrett let it drop.

  “I can help you find a doctor. I know plenty of people in therapy. This is Los Angeles.”

  “I’m already seeing someone. A woman. Promise not to tell anyone? My father can never know.”

  “What you tell me stays between us, Jade. Always.” Garrett frowned. “Have you dropped Phillips?”

  “No. I still see him. My father is determined.”

  “Demented.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Why pull his punches now? He could tell Jade was stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Bent — not broken. Healing more every day.

  “I said your father is demented. You should be his priority.”

  “It’s hard to change a lifetime’s habits, Garrett. I’m more of an annoyance. An obligation. As far as my father is concerned, my marriage is one more thing I managed to screw up.”

  “He blames you?” Again with that crap. What the hell?

  “Not in so many words.” Jade sighed. “Then again, my father could write a book on passive aggressive behavior. Dr. Phillips would have a field day.”

  “Will you tell me about your therapist? Not what you talk about,” Garrett rushed to qualify. “Do you like her? Trust her?”

  “I do like her,” Jade said. “Trust is harder. That takes time. But I’m getting there.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “Garrett?”

  “Yes?”

  “I want to ask you something. A favor.”

  “I won’t say you can ask me anything,” Garrett teased. “I stop at murder. Pretty much anything else. Shoot.”

  “Feel free to say no.”

  “Okay.”

  “It’s a biggie.”

  “Jade,” Garrett chastised softly.

  “Right.” He could hear her take a deep breath. “Will you have sex with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wait. What?” Jade paused. “Just like that?”

  “You know I want you, Jade.” Garrett chose his words carefully, tiptoeing through this particular minefield. “I wanted you that night over two years ago. That hasn’t changed.”

  “I have.”

  “So have I,” Garrett told her. “Not that I’m comparing us. I’m simply saying, time moves along and we move with it. I know more than I did. At least I hope I do. The one thing that hasn’t changed is my desire for you.”

  “I…,” Jade hesitated. “I don’t want to raise your expectations, Garrett. I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. I like sex. Not that I had a lot of experience. It was nice. After… With Stephen…,” she seemed to choke on the name. “Let’s just say he wasn’t worried about my enjoyment. Or participation.”

  “Shit.” Garrett gripped the arms of the chair so hard he was surprised they didn’t snap.

  “I want to like it again.”

  “Of course you do.”

  “Now do you understand why I want you to think about what I’m asking? I don’t know how I’ll react when you touch me. Most of the time, with… Stephen,” again, she hesitated over the name. “I felt frozen inside. A coping mechanism, according to my therapist.”

  “That sounds logical.”

  “I suppose. My point is I don’t know if I can thaw. I want to. I want to be me again. I’d like you to help.”

  “Do you want to start tonight?” Garrett didn’t know if he was crazy. He certainly had no qualifications to help a woman get past sexual abuse. He only knew he had to try.

  “No!” Jade exclaimed. “I mean it never occurred to me you would say yes. Not without thinking about it.”

  “Your pace, Jade,” Garrett assured her. “When you’re ready, I’m your man.”

  “Thank you. I should be going.”

  “I’ll call that cab.”

  Garrett pulled up the number. The driver knew Garrett. He knew his tip would be sizable. Even so, he hesitated when he was told the neighborhood. An extra hundred dispelled the man’s reluctance.

  “Half an hour,” Garrett told Jade.

  “You don’t have to wait.”

  He didn’t answer. What could he say to such a ridiculous statement? The smell of Pine-Sol and stale smoke swirled through the room, pushed by the antiquated air conditioner. Garrett sat, his back still to Jade. There was no talk for several minutes before he asked her a favor.

  “May I see your face?”

  “You know what I look like.”

  Panic. That’s what he heard. Jade’s breathing deepened — he could hear it from across the room. His request wasn’t made from morbid curiosity. He wanted her to know she could show him anything. Her scars inside and out. He wouldn’t turn away from her either.

  “It’s okay,” Garrett said reassuringly. “I understand. Too soon.”

  “He didn’t cut my face.”

  The words were rushed, like jumping into a cold lake or pulling off a Band-Aid. Quick. To reduce the shock and pain.

  “Oh, honey…” How could a man respond to that? Good? Her husband cut her. It was horrifying for Garrett to think about it. Jade lived through it.

  “I’ve lost so much weight,” Jade explained. “Even before the… even before. I couldn’t bring myself to eat. Not because I wanted to starve — honestly. Or maybe I did. I don’t know anymore, Garrett.”

  “Are you eating now?” Please say yes.

  “I’m eating more.” Jade sighed. “Everything tastes like dust. Or chalk. Except chocolate pudding. Unfortunately, my doctor tells me I can’t live on that alone.”

  “Calcium. It has to be good for your bones.”

  “That’s what I said.” There was surprise and a bit of humor in her voice.

  “If I keep the lights out, will you sit on my lap? Nothing will happen. Let me hold you until the cab gets here.”

  “I’m a rack of bones.”

  “You are Jade,” Garrett told her firmly. “That’s all I care about.”

  Garrett didn’t know how much time passed. One minute? Two? When he heard Jade’s first step, he let out the breath he had been holding. When she stood in front of him, he could see her outline.

  “It’s been a long time since anyone held me.”

  Garrett took her hand. Delicate. Almost fragile. Yet it gripped his with surprising strength. Like Jade herself. Deceptively strong.

  “I’m here, Jade.”

  Garret
t guided her onto his lap. She weighed nothing. Less than a child. Jade wore a thick sweater that should have stifled her in the evening heat. With the natural layer of insulation gone from her body, she needed protection. From the elements — from the world.

  At first, Jade held herself away from him. Stiff and upright. Garrett didn’t speak. Instead, he rubbed a hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing motion. Slowly, she began to relax until she was curled close, her head resting on his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” Garrett asked.

  “It must be like holding a sack of bones.”

  There were tears in her voice. Good, Garrett thought. Let it out. Didn’t his mother say there was nothing as therapeutic as a good cry? He wondered how often Jade let herself go? Not often enough.

  “I’m a little embarrassed,” Garrett told her.

  “You are? Why?”

  “I promised you nothing would happen. And it won’t,” he said. “I can’t seem to control my body when I’m around you.”

  “What…?” Jade shifted slightly. “Oh.”

  “Oh, indeed. Instead of providing platonic comfort, I have a hard-on. I’d yell, down, boy, but what would be the use? That part of me has always had a mind of its own.”

  Jade didn’t seem put off. If anything, she relaxed even more.

  “It’s a relief,” Jade sighed. “I was afraid I might repulse you.”

  “Hardly.” This time he was the one who moved. Ever so slightly. “No pun intended.”

  Garrett was rewarded by the best sound in the world. Jade’s laughter. It was a brief chuckle, but it counted.

  “Jade, honey. You smell like heaven. Vanilla? Lemons?”

  “Yes,” Jade whispered. Her arms snuck around his waist.

  “I remember spicy oranges the last time we were this close.”

  “We never got this close,” she reminded him.

  “Mmm.” Garrett breathed deeply. “It was worth the wait.”

  They sat, content to hold each other. Words weren’t necessary. Not right now. When Garrett’s phone buzzed, signaling the cab was waiting, there was a bond between them. New. Tentative. Yet unmistakable.