by Noelle Adams
He’d never seen Laura like this before. Open. Affectionate. Cuddly.
He knew she hadn’t changed. Not really. She’d just let him see a side of her that she’d always kept hidden.
He loved this side of her—the way he loved every other side of her.
He was about to say something, and it would probably have been sappy, had the bedroom door not flown open just then.
“It’s Christmas!” Tommy burst out, running into the room in his Spider-Man pajamas. “Are you awake, Mommy?”
“Yes, I’m awake.” Laura sat up, looking surprised and slightly strained. She hadn’t gotten a chance to decide how she wanted to handle Tommy knowing about his spending the night, and now it was too late.
The decision had been made for them.
Tommy bounded onto the bed, jumping onto his mother’s legs and then jerking in comical surprise when he realized there was someone else in the bed. “Uncle Russ!”
“Hi, Tommy,” Russ said calmly, glancing over at Laura to try to get a sense of how she’d like to play this. “You woke up early today.”
“Well, it’s Christmas. You have to get up early for Christmas.” Tommy was looking between Russ and his mother with a questioning look. “Did Uncle Russ spend the night?”
“Y-yes. Yes, he did.” Laura was straightening up again. Russ could tell she was searching for the best way to explain what must be strange and confusing to the boy.
“Oh,” Tommy said. “Is he always going to spend the night?”
“Not always. But sometimes.” Laura reached out to ruffle his hair.
“Oh. Does that mean he can play with me more?”
“Probably.”
Tommy’s head swiveled over to Russ for confirmation.
Russ nodded, hiding a smile. “We can definitely play more.”
“That’s good. Now it’s time to get up. It’s Christmas, and I want to open presents!” Tommy fell sideways out of the bed, landed on his feet, and raced toward the bedroom door. “You can’t sleep in today!”
“We won’t,” Laura called to him. “We’re getting up now.”
When the boy had left the room, Laura shook her head. “Well, that was easier than I thought.”
“Yeah. I guess he might have questions later on.”
“Probably.”
Russ reached out to stroke her cheek with his thumb. “You can take them as they come.”
She nodded. “It will be fine. Although we might have to deal with the fact that Tommy’s likely to announce to everyone he sees today that you spent the night with me.”
Russ chuckled. “I’m okay with that.”
“Me too. Now let’s get up before Tommy comes back to yell at us for taking too long.”
Russ swung his legs out of bed. And his voice was dry as he said, “But here’s an idea. If I’m going to spending the night here fairly often, it might be smart to either start locking that door or else teach Tommy how to knock.”
LATER THAT DAY, THEY all had dinner together. Laura, Russ, and Tommy. Penny and Kent. Scott and Olivia. And Rebecca and Phil.
His whole family and her whole family. Christmas dinner.
Russ had never had a holiday dinner like it before.
Rebecca did most of the cooking, so all the food was excellent. And Tommy kept everyone entertained with a constant stream of chatter about the presents he’d gotten that morning and the games they were all going to play with him after they ate. Scott and Olivia traded clever banter, and Kent had to remind Penny twice not to light the centerpiece on fire as she fiddled with the candle and greenery.
Laura kept everyone organized.
Russ figured his job would have been to make amusing sarcastic comments, but he couldn’t comply. He didn’t feel sardonic, and none of the edges of the day were sharp enough for irony.
He felt like a sappy fool. The secret romantic only Laura knew he was.
But he couldn’t do much of anything except take it all in and hold Laura’s hand under the table.
It wasn’t just Christmas.
It was love and family and fellowship and the sharing of food and laughter.
He hadn’t known his life was so empty before, but he knew it now.
He wasn’t that six-year-old boy anymore. The one he’d spent so many years running away from.
Maybe he was still damaged but he was starting to heal.
And he wasn’t alone.
Because this was the first time in his forty-five years he’d really known—genuinely known—what Christmas dinner should be.
Epilogue
ONE YEAR LATER, LAURA woke up on Christmas morning with an excitement she hadn’t felt for the holiday since she’d been a child.
Even before she opened her eyes, she knew something good was happening today.
She couldn’t wait.
She’d ended up on the very edge of the mattress, so she tried to scoot over. As she rolled, she encountered a warm, immovable obstacle. Russ. He’d evidently moved over onto her side of the bed during the night. He was sound asleep on his stomach, leaving her with about eight inches worth of mattress.
Frowning, she pushed at him. He had all her space, leaving half the queen-sized bed completely empty.
He didn’t budge.
He wasn’t always a sound sleeper, so she was surprised her pushing hadn’t woken him yet. She tried again but couldn’t get good leverage without rolling right off the bed.
Grumbling, she hiked up the covers and crawled over his body to the other side.
Sometime between her knee in his back and the flop she made on his side of the bed, Russ woke up.
“Wha’s it?” He lifted his head slightly and blinked in her direction.
She yanked the covers over since he’d taken them all with him in his move during the night and stretched out with her head on his pillow. The room looked eerily different from this side of the bed. “You rolled over on my side.”
He was waking up quickly. He always did. She’d never met someone who could manage to sound both smart and ironic about thirty seconds after awakening the way he could. “So you pay me back by doing push-ups on my back?”
She tried not to snort in amusement since she knew that was what he wanted. “I wasn’t doing push-ups. I was trying to crawl over you. You left me eight inches of space to sleep on so I had to take your side instead.”
His hair was a mess—some of it sticking up straight on end—and he had a day’s worth of stubble that was really quite sexy. He smiled slowly as he reached for her. “Since when have you needed space from me?”
She eluded his reach. “I always need space. Especially on the bed. And especially at five o’clock on Christmas morning.”
He was still smiling as he reached for her again, this time grabbing her and pulling her closer to him. “It is Christmas, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is. And a fine present you’ve given me. A night of clinging to the edge of the mattress so I don’t fall off.”
He moved on top of her. “You could have clung to me instead.”
Her chest tightened with emotion at the sight of him above her. Warm. Dry. Fond. So smart.
Russ.
“You would have liked that, wouldn’t you?” She reached up to rub her hands over his scratchy jaw.
“I would.” He was still holding on to a mostly straight face, although a smile was starting to play at the corners of his mobile mouth.
“It’s not just Christmas today, you know.”
His expression changed. “You think I don’t remember that?”
“Well, you haven’t said anything.”
“I’ve been defending myself against charges of taking up all the room last night.” He leaned down to kiss her softly.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You have no defense. You did take all the room. You might as well plead guilty.”
“I do,” he murmured against her lips. “I’m guilty. Are you going to make me suffer as punishment?”
“Maybe. I’m still considering.”
She could feel in his body that Russ was thinking sexy thoughts. His muscles were tight, and his groin was hardening beneath the fabric of his pajama pants.
They had sex a lot first thing in the morning. They both worked hard, and at nights they were often too tired to work up the energy. Plus, more than once, night owl Tommy had pounded on the bedroom door at eleven o’clock at night to inform them he couldn’t sleep, interrupting what they’d just gotten started. But they were both early risers, waking up before anyone else, and it was a shame to let such a perfect time go to waste.
For the past year, Laura had found the warm intimacy of their early mornings incredibly special.
She gave his shoulder a little push so she could crawl out from beneath him. “I’m going to keep considering as I pee.”
Russ groaned as he rolled over onto his back. “If you pee, you’re going to brush your teeth in there, which means I’ll have to get up to brush my teeth too.”
“So? What’s your point?”
“That means I’ll have to get out of bed.”
She giggled at his aggrieved tone and headed for the bathroom. When she came out, Russ went in after her. As soon as he climbed into bed, he swung his leg over her thighs and kissed her.
She had no objections or delays this time.
They kissed for a long time before they started to take off each other’s pajamas. Russ was slow and attentive and affectionate in the mornings—with patience she’d never known in a man before. He made her come twice with his lips and hands before he grew urgent. Even then, even after he was inside her and her legs were bent up on either side of his hips, he spent a long time kissing and rocking into her before he lost control.
She loved it. She loved him. She’d never known she could feel so close to a man, trust him so much, know without doubt that he loved her without holding anything back.
She came again before he did. He ducked his head and gasped, “Yes, baby,” into her ear as he released all his tension.
She clung to his shaking body, stroking his back and head as he relaxed on top of her.
She was smiling and breathless and perfectly sated when he finally lifted his head to kiss her again.
“I love you, baby,” he murmured hoarsely.
“I love you too.”
“I love you more today than I did a year ago, and I had no idea that was even possible.”
“I feel the same way.”
“I wonder if I’ll love you more every year. If twenty years from now, I’ll love you so much it will just explode from my body like a popped balloon.”
She giggled and hugged him. “That would be a sight.”
“It feels like it might be possible.” He raised his head to meet her eyes. “You ready for today?”
“Christmas?”
“You know.”
“I know. And I’ve never been more ready for anything.”
“Me too.”
She gave him another kiss before she said in a different tone. “Okay. As much as I enjoy lying tangled up with you like this, it’s Christmas Day and Tommy is likely to wake up early. We need to get our pajamas back on before that happens.”
Russ chuckled as he rolled off her and reached under the covers for his pajama pants. Then he grabbed the T-shirt from the nightstand. He slept bare chested but always kept a shirt nearby to put on.
Laura put her pajamas back on too and was about to get up to clean herself up a little when there was a pounding on the door to the bedroom.
“Mommy! Uncle Russ! Are you awake?”
“Yes, buddy. You can come in,” she called back.
“It’s Christmas!” Tommy announced, swinging the door open so hard it banged against the doorstop. “You can’t sleep in today. Hi, Uncle Russ.”
“Hi, Tommy,” Russ said, a smile in his voice but not on his face. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas! I’m going to sit near my presents!”
“We’ll be out soon,” Laura promised. “We’re excited about today too.”
She was. Really excited.
And not just because it was Christmas.
LAURA, RUSS, AND TOMMY opened presents in front of the Christmas tree in the living room before they did anything else since Tommy couldn’t wait any longer. Then Laura went to take a shower, leaving Tommy with Russ to get breakfast started.
As she was walking down the hall afterward in her bathrobe with mostly wet hair, she heard Russ and Tommy talking.
She paused, just out of sight, so she could listen.
“This sausage’s de-licious,” Tommy said with his mouth full.
“It sounds like it’s good.” Russ’s tone was bone dry.
“It’s not the weekend but it’s Christmas so I get sausage today.”
“Exactly right.”
“Aren’t you gonna eat yours?”
“I’m waiting for your mom.”
“Oh. Okay.” Tommy chomped some more, audible even from the hallway. Then he asked, “Are you gonna be my dad now?”
There was a pause, and Laura froze, wondering what Russ was going to say, what his expression looked like right now.
Then Russ replied, “I’ll be your dad in every way you want me to be.”
Laura’s heart clenched hard, and she fiddled with the lovely engagement ring on her finger that Russ had given her four months ago.
“That’s good,” Tommy said, his mouth still full. “My real dad doesn’t want to have me as a kid. Mommy says he’s always busy, but I’m not a baby anymore and I know that’s not true. But you want to have me as a kid.”
“I do, Tommy.” Russ’s voice was very hoarse.
Laura could barely breathe over the lump in her throat. She wanted to go into the kitchen to hug both Russ and her son, but this felt private and she didn’t want to interrupt.
“That’s good.” Tommy’s voice wasn’t emotional at all. He sounded both matter-of-fact and satisfied. “You’re a better dad anyway.”
“I hope so. I’ll try.”
“Can I still call you Uncle Russ?”
“You can call me anything you want.”
“Okay.” Tommy’s voice changed then, evidently through with the previous conversation. Where’s Mommy? She’s taking forever.”
“Did I hear a complaint about my slowness?” Laura asked, pulling herself together as she stepped into the kitchen.
“That was a long shower!”
“I was taking my time this morning. How’s your breakfast?” As she spoke, Laura walked over to the counter where Russ was standing. She slid both her arms around him and pressed herself against him.
His face was perfectly composed, but his body was tight. She knew he was emotional.
He wrapped one arm around her and buried his face in her hair for just a moment.
“Good! Uncle Russ said he’s waiting for you to eat.” After a pause, Tommy’s voice changed to vaguely disapproving. “Are you gonna hug him all day? He’s hungry.”
Laura pulled away, checking Russ’s face. He was smiling at her now. She said, “I’m not going to hug him all day, but we’re getting married today. I’m allowed to hug him a little.”
“I guess.” After that great concession, Tommy focused on eating, so Russ and Laura got their breakfasts plated up too.
They were almost finished when Phil and a very pregnant Rebecca made an appearance. Olivia and Penny had moved out earlier in the year—both of them were married now—but since Phil and Rebecca only lived in town for part of the year, they still shared the private residence of the big farmhouse when they were in town.
“Y’all are up early,” Phil said, pushing a hand through his messy light brown hair. “It’s not even seven.”
“You can talk to Tommy about that,” Laura said. “We’ve already done presents and breakfast.”
“It’s Christmas!” Tommy was licking the syrup off his plate.
Rebecca laughed. “I know it is. It’s also you
r mom and Uncle Russ’s wedding day. And your mom isn’t allowed to do any work at all.”
Laura had been rinsing off a breakfast plate, and she snorted at that.
“I mean it,” Rebecca said. “We’re doing everything. No supervising or organizing. You just get yourself dressed, and we’re doing everything else.”
“Okay,” Laura said with a smile. “I’ll try.”
SHE DID TRY, AND SHE mostly succeeded. It helped that the wedding ceremony was at ten thirty in the morning, so she didn’t have too much time to get worried or feel like she needed to get involved in the preparations.
She did her hair and makeup—both of them styled very simply—and then put on her wedding dress. It wasn’t a formal dress. It barely reached her ankles and had a sleek, square-necked bodice and a soft, flowing skirt. She had a thin cashmere cardigan with sparkles threaded through to put on over it for the reception.
It was winter, and she didn’t want to go around sleeveless all day.
She thought she looked pretty when she was dressed. She didn’t want to look or feel like a princess today. She wanted to look and feel like herself.
Satisfied with her preparations, she went to make sure Tommy was dressed in his little suit, and then she headed downstairs.
Her sisters had done an amazing job. The barn was decorated beautifully with red, green, and silver, and everything went smoothly with the short ceremony.
Laura married Russ Matheson that morning, surrounded by her family and his.
They’d gotten married on Christmas Day partly because it was the only day when the barn wasn’t already rented out this season for another event.
But it also felt fitting for who they were and what had led them to this day.
They didn’t have a real reception. They had Christmas dinner instead—in the newly constructed restaurant building that would be opened to the public in a few more months.
By that point, Laura’s mind was whirling with a fluttery excitement and sappy overload of emotion that simply wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t like her to feel this way, but she wasn’t sure how she could help it.
For a long time she’d never believed she would get married. It had been a dream. A fantasy. A vision that had never matched up with her understanding of her life.