by Lisa Campell
Saying out loud sounded good. Thomas liked the sound of being married to Emilia. Neither of them was blushing youngsters, both older and wiser. But the fire that went with it was burning even brighter. Thomas wanted to explore that, and he wasn’t about to let Emilia get away.
She was skittish around him, that much was certain. And Thomas was going to find out why. He would do everything he could to get Emilia to tell him what’s going on, and to get her to agree to a marriage. Thomas wanted that, badly.
Moving a little too fast, don’t you think?
Actually, I think I’ve been moving a little too slowly.
“You love her, then?” Jenkins asked. He picked up his cufflinks and began to put them on for his master. “Because I don’t see you as the type of man who would marry the governess just because she’s good with your daughter.”
“If that was the case, I would have asked all the others to marry me. But it’s not that.” Thomas pulled back one hand and held out the other. “With Emilia Perry, it’s...it’s something much more. And I don’t want to let it go.”
“Not for selfish reasons, then.” Jenkins grunted. He finished putting the cufflink on and stepped back. “But you’re going to have to think about something else other than marriage for the moment. I received a message from Amanda Hanson this morning.”
It took Thomas a moment to remember who he was talking about. Amanda had been one of the earlier governesses, one who had stayed the longest. Anna had adored her, and Thomas thought she was a godsend. A really good person all-around. Thomas couldn’t fault her, until she suddenly left without a word and refused to say why. Just like all the others. Of all the governesses, Thomas had thought Amanda Hanson would actually say something. She didn’t hold back when she needed to get her point across.
“You actually got through to one of the ladies?”
“I did. She was the only one who replied back to me with anything other than ‘we don’t want to be contacted, leave us alone’.” Jenkins paused. “And she’s also here.”
“What?”
“She came with the message. Told me it was best that she told you face-to-face why she left.” Jenkins took a deep breath. “She said it was the least she could do.”
Now that explained why Jenkins was behaving oddly. He had sent out letters to all the governesses, hoping that the family would pass the letters on, and had received nothing but refusals, either politely saying go away or threatening to make Thomas go away. None of them had turned up out of the blue.
Then Thomas remembered something; Jenkins had been rather sweet on Amanda Hanson. From what he had noticed, Amanda felt the same way. When she left, she cut off Jenkins as well, and his valet had been crestfallen. Thomas hadn’t realized that someone else’s heart had gotten broken in all of this mess.
“Where is she now?”
“Morning room. She said she would wait.”
“Good.” Thomas sat on the bed and reached for his shoes. “I hope I get an explanation of what has been happening here.”
“I think you’re going to get the answer.” Jenkins knelt before him, helping to put the shoe on. “But I have a feeling you’re not going to like it. Not if Miss Hanson’s current state is anything to go by.”
That did not bode well at all.
Chapter Twenty-One
Emilia held the cup for Anna as she took a sip. Then Anna sank back against the cushions with a relieved sigh.
“Thank you. That feels much better.”
“I’m glad.” Emilia put the cup on the tray. “Mrs. Adams said iced water was perfect for sore throats.”
Anna smiled. She had a little more colour in her cheeks. She stretched out on the chaise.
“I’m glad to be outside again. Feels so much better.”
“Good.” Emilia settled back in her chair. “Fresh air is just what you need.”
“I just wish I could get up and run around.”
Anna looked a little crestfallen with that. Emilia smiled.
“You’ll be able to do that in a few days. Just enjoy soaking up the sun.” She reached for her sketchpad. “If you end up going to sleep, that’s fine as well. I’ll let you know when it’s lunch.”
“I’m not going to be sleeping.” Anna declared. “I’ve done plenty of that.”
“I know, but sleep will also help.” Emilia picked up her pencil. “Lie there and enjoy feeling the sun on your face.”
Anna sighed. Then she yawned and settled down. Emilia glanced up a short while later to hear gentle snoring coming from the little girl curled up on the chaise, a blanket draped over her. She smiled. It wasn’t nice to see a child unwell, but Anna was looking better than she had been previously. A couple more days and she would be back to normal. Emilia was looking forward to that; she loved the vibrant side of the child. It certainly made the days more interesting.
She loved the girl. Emilia hadn’t realized that had happened. But how could someone not find the little girl endearing. Anna was a child, and a lively one, who also carried a bit of maturity that would make anyone sit up and take notice. Bright, funny, quick-witted, she was a credit to her father.
Her father. Emilia’s mouth went dry. Her father was a different story.
She shouldn’t have kissed him. But Emilia had tried to find a way to distract him, and that was all she could think of in the moment. She had expected Andrews to pull back and say it was completely inappropriate, that she needed to remember her place. That was what Emilia had been telling herself for weeks now. But that hadn’t happened. Instead, it made the tension between them explode.
If they hadn’t stopped when Andrews pulled back, they certainly would have ended up making love in the carriage. No, not making love. Emilia didn’t think what had happened between them would have moved into making love. Rutting like animals would have been a more appropriate description.
Her belly fluttered at the thought. Emilia wasn’t new to what happened when a man and a woman were naked together - she had been in that position herself - but the emotions were something she was struggling with. Before, they had been slow-burning, sweet, beautiful. This time, they were intense, fierce, hot. But just as beautiful, even more so.
She couldn’t do that. If she ended up going to bed with Andrews, Emilia would end up slipping that much further into danger. Her feelings for the man were building and having him touch her so intimately had told her she would fall even more. Which was bad. She was starting to lose sight as to why she was there in the first place and who Thomas Andrews was to him.
He was involved, somehow, but he didn’t kill him. Emilia could cope with that, but she still needed answers. Andrews had them, and she just had to find them.
It was going to take a while, but Emilia would do it. Once she did, she would reveal that truth and leave. Andrews would be angry and, hopefully, would not want to see her again after deceiving him. That would be painful, but it was the right thing to do.
Emilia knew it would be best not to pursue anything further with her employer. That she needed to keep her distance. Because it would make leaving all the more difficult. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to cope with that.
At least Charlotte would be able to help. Emilia didn’t want to go back to the house, not with Christian still there. Somehow, he had found out where she was and had written a scathing letter to her, scolding her for her actions and that she needed to come home immediately before he came up to confront her and drag her back. Emilia felt like she was being told off by a child; Christian had never been mature around her in his life. He was selfish, and he would be trying to marry Emilia off as soon as possible. What he got from that would be going straight into the cards.
The father of the bride is supposed to give the husband a dowry, not the husband pay the guardian of his bride.
With Christian, he’ll find a way.
Suddenly, a loud yell came from inside the house. Emilia jumped, her pencil skittering across the page. She turned towards the house. What o
n earth was going on in there?
Moments later, Mrs. Gallagher came out of the back door and hurried over. She looked rather flustered.
“I’m sorry, Emilia, but we’re going to have to move Anna back to her room. I don’t want her to hear this.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Mr. Andrews…” Mrs. Gallagher bit her lip. “He had a visitor and now he’s not very happy. He’s throwing things around in his study.”
“What?” Emilia put her sketchpad aside and stood up. “Not Lady Wilson?”
“No, it was one of the last governesses. She turned up. Something she told Mr. Andrews has him very angry.”
There was another shout and the sound of something being knocked over. Emilia flinched. What had the woman said to him?
“Can you stay with Anna for a moment, Mrs. Gallagher?” Emilia stepped past the housekeeper. “I want to talk to Mr. Andrews.”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to get near him,” Mrs. Gallagher called after her.
Emilia didn’t reply. She hurried into the house and towards Andrews’ study. Servants had stopped what they were doing and were beginning to gather in the hall, whispering at each other as they eyed the closed study door. Jenkins was outside the door, holding a raven-haired woman as she sobbed into his shirt. He had his arms around her, rocking her gently and whispering something that Emilia couldn’t pick up.
“Jenkins?” Emilia joined him. “What’s going on?”
Jenkins was about to speak when the woman raised her head, her face streaked with tears.
“It’s my fault,” she whispered. “I should have said something before. But I... I didn’t know…”
She started crying again, and Jenkins’ tightened his arms around her. Emilia could see the way he reacted, that this woman meant something special to him. The look on his face said seeing her breaking down was tearing him apart.
Emilia touched his arm.
“Jenkins?”
“Mr. Andrews is really angry, Mrs. Perry. It’s best that you leave him to calm down.”
“You’re not going to go in there?”
“He told me to get out after I escorted Miss Hanson out. Every time I try to get in, he practically kicks me back out. Says he wants to be alone.” Jenkins swallowed. “I’ve not seen him like that before, so I’m not keen on being in there while he’s losing his temper.”
“He’s never done this before?”
“Never.”
Whatever it was, it was bad. Emilia knew she should take a step back and let Andrews calm down on his own. But she found that she couldn’t just wait. She headed towards the door.
“I’m going in. I’ll get him to calm down.”
“Mrs. Perry…”
But Jenkins’ call was silenced as Emilia entered the room and closed the door behind him. Something crunched under her feet and she looked down to see the carpet covered in glass. Droplets of drink were dripping down the wall near the door.
Andrews was pacing around in the middle of the room. Emilia felt a flicker of fear when she saw the look on his face. He was furious, and it was practically radiating off him. His whole body was shaking, his hands clenched into fists. He looked like he was going to lash out again.
God, what on earth had he been told?
“Mr. Andrews?”
Andrews spun around. His eyes blazed when he saw her.
“What are you doing in here?” he bellowed. “I don’t want anyone here!”
“Why not?”
He advanced on her. Emilia resisted the urge to cower, standing her ground. She was not going to back down now. Thomas Andrews wouldn’t hurt her.
He didn’t touch her. Instead, he stood inches from her, towering over Emilia with eyes so dark with fury they were practically black. He was breathing heavily, and Emilia was sure she could hear his heart racing.
“Just do as you’re told, Emilia, and get out!” Andrews snarled in her face. “I don’t want you here.”
“Tough. I’m not going anywhere.” Emilia drew herself up to her full height and made herself look him in the eye. “You can rant as much as you want, but I’m not leaving.”
“I don’t want you here!”
“I don’t believe you.”
Andrews - Thomas - growled. Emilia grabbed his head and kissed him, which had the growl stopping abruptly and Thomas tensing up in surprise. Then something broke and he was kissing her back, hauling her against his chest. His hold tightened, and for a moment Emilia felt like she couldn’t breathe, but then he relaxed his hold and broke the kiss, burying his face in her neck as he hugged her.
“Emilia…”
“Shush now.” Emilia stroked his head, trying not to wince at how much she was bending back. “It’s all right. Things are going to be all right.”
They stayed like that for a while longer. Then Thomas eased back, straightening Emilia up.
“Forgive me, I... I keep forgetting I’m bigger than everyone else.”
“I’ll live.” Emilia cupped his face in her hands. “Talk to me, Thomas. I want to help.”
“I can’t. I just…”
His arms tightened around her, and Emilia could feel him shaking. Was he crying? It shocked her that a man like Thomas Andrews would end up sobbing. Emilia managed to ease herself out of his arms and took his hand. If she stayed like this, she was going to get a pain in her back. She led Thomas over to the couch.
“Help me get this upright. It’s best that you sit down.”
Thomas didn’t answer. He went over to the couch and slumped onto it, burying his head in his hands.
“God, I must look like a complete fool. I’ve never lost control like this before, and I don’t like it.”
“I understand.” Emilia sat beside him, hesitating a moment before resting her hand on his back. “If you want to talk, I’m here. If you don’t, I’ll still be here.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
Thomas lifted his head to look at her. His eyes were swimming with tears.
“Why would you do that?”
Emilia’s heart ached at the sight. This was a man who had been ripped apart. Anger had taken him to a part of him that nobody knew existed and now he was coming down from that fury. He was emotionally worn out. She moved her hand to stroke his hair.
“Because I want to. You need someone to talk to, and I’d like that to be me.”
Did she really? Then Emilia felt the realization settling. She did really want her to be the person who Thomas turned to. She wanted to be the one he needed in a time like this. Emilia wasn’t about to walk away now.
Thomas stared at her, his eyes drifting over her face.
“I don’t think I can talk right now.” He reached for her. “But there is something you can do for me.”
Emilia was about to ask, but Thomas had already picked her up off the couch. She allowed Thomas to move her, settling her across his lap with his arms around her. Thomas cupped her head and kissed her.
“I just want to hold onto someone for a while.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t think Jenkins would appreciate it if I asked him to do this.”
Emilia couldn’t help but giggle at that.
“That really would raise some eyebrows.”
“I suppose.” Thomas stroked her cheek. “Will you stay for now? Having you around is...I’m feeling like I’m calming down. I need you.”
He needed her. This was raw, open. Thomas wanted her, and that warmed Emilia’s whole body. But this wasn’t sex. This was far deeper than that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
“You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Thomas didn’t know how long they stayed like that, holding Emilia in his arms as he calmed down. She didn’t say anything, just hugging him as his heart started to slow, his anger receding until he felt a little more in control. Occasionally, her hand would brush over his hair, and it was soothing. Thomas didn’t want t
o let go.
But he had to. God only knew what the servants were thinking about right now. They had to have heard the commotion, and it didn’t take a stupid man to wonder what they had been up to. Thomas wasn’t about to deny anything. Let them think. He was still reeling from the news Amanda Hanson had told him.
That one governess had been driven away by Evelyn Wilson was one thing. To know that it had happened to all of them was the final straw. Thomas couldn’t believe the selfishness of Evelyn and the lengths she would go to in order to get what she wanted.