by Lisa Campell
Throwing the glass had felt vaguely satisfying. It was either throw something or hit someone, and Thomas wasn’t going there.
Thomas had wondered if Evelyn would have done the same to Emilia. If it hadn’t been for the fact, she had been under house arrest since Thomas spoke to her parents, there was a good chance she might have focused on getting rid of Emilia as well. The thought of having Emilia leave because of Evelyn’s machinations left Thomas cold. He didn’t want Emilia going anywhere.
He still marvelled, some hours later, that Emilia was willing to stand up to him and refuse to leave, that she wanted to look after him when he was in a bad place. Thomas couldn’t remember the last time someone had gotten through his defences. Emilia didn’t need to do anything, and yet she had been there.
If he hadn’t fallen for her before, he had fallen well and truly by now.
The clearing up had taken a little longer than Thomas expected. He hadn’t realized how much he had smashed and broken. Jenkins and Mrs. Gallagher had spent a lot of time sweeping up the glass, and Thomas steered clear of the mess after the housekeeper shooed him out of the study. He was ashamed over his actions. But it was either throw things around or go to the Latimer house and put his hands around Evelyn’s neck.
She had spent fifteen years pestering him and she would not listen. Now she had gone too far. Thomas was furious that Evelyn even thought her actions were done as a favour. She was that deluded to think a governess was considered a threat to her. Thomas would be glad when she finally left the county. Her father had promised that she would never come back.
Thomas was going to keep the man to his promise. He didn’t want her anywhere near him from now on. Otherwise it wouldn’t just be glasses that Thomas threw around.
Instead of thinking about the woman who had blighted his life for all of his adult life, Thomas focused on spending time with Anna. His daughter was looking a little better, albeit slightly sleepy, and she was delighted to have her father’s attention. Emilia sat nearby, watching them interact or sketching in her sketchpad. Thomas wanted her to join them, but he could see Emilia had shut herself off. She was maintaining a professional approach, as she rightly should. They had been acting very unprofessionally over the last couple of days, and if she was within touching distance, Thomas was sure he would end up kissing her again.
That was not something he wanted the servants to see.
Just after lunch, Anna asked if she could go upstairs to sleep again. She had been close to falling asleep in her soup all through the meal, so Thomas had agreed. He carried her up to her bedroom and tucked her into the bed. Anna had snuggled up to him and was fast asleep before he laid her down. Kissing her head, Thomas tiptoed from the room.
Emilia was standing outside the room, arms wrapped around her middle as Thomas stepped out of his daughter’s bedchamber.
“Is she asleep now?”
“She is.” Thomas closed the door with barely a click. “It’s normal to sleep a lot, especially towards the end. I expect her to be up and jumping around as normal in a day or two.”
“That’s something.” Emilia bit her lip. “And what about you? Are you feeling better?”
“A little.” They stared at each other. Thomas cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “I... I must apologise for the way I was earlier. I’ve never behaved like that before. I hope you understand.”
“I understand.” Emilia’s expression softened. “And you don’t have to apologize for anything. You got some news that affected you pretty badly. I’m sure if I had received the same news, I would have reacted the same.”
“You would have thrown everything around the room.”
“If it made me feel better, yes.”
Thomas grunted. He looked at the floor. Why did he feel ashamed to even look at her?
“I like to think I can control my temper. But when there’s someone who just won’t listen, who won’t do as they’ve been told…”
Who was he talking about now? Evelyn? Or the patrons at Drake’s? They liked to walk all over people and thought they could do no wrong. They didn’t like being told no and they had to be held accountable. Thomas had never met a load of spoiled brats in his life. Some of them were older than him. If no one lost their temper over that, they had to be saints.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Emilia asked.
Thomas stared at her. Then he reached out and took her hand.
“Come with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Emilia knew she should pull away from Thomas, refuse to go anywhere with him. That was moving into dangerous territory. But the feel of his hand around hers had her pausing. She couldn’t pull away even if she tried. His touch was just so warm, so gentle.
Safe. How was that last one even possible?
Thomas led them across the house and then turned into a lone, long corridor at the other end of the house. It was then Emilia realized where they were going. His private rooms. For a moment, she began to panic. No, she couldn’t. That was not a good idea. Why was Thomas even doing this? He had to know this was bordering on scandalous. People would talk!
Don’t give them anything to talk about. Just tell him you must go elsewhere and make sure someone’s close by.
But before Emilia could say anything, Thomas tugged her into his bedchamber. He nudged the door closed with his hip, Emilia’s heart almost stopping when she saw him turning the key.
“What...why did you do that? And why are we in here?”
“Because I didn’t want to be overheard.” Thomas stepped around her, only now letting go of her hand. “We’re far enough away from the rest of the house that we can talk in private.”
“But to lock the door?”
“Extra precaution.”
Emilia’s heart was now going so fast she was feeling lightheaded. She didn’t know where to look. Everything about the room made her nervous. Especially the huge bed near the window. It was easily big enough for two, maybe even more.
Stop it! Don’t look over there. Focus elsewhere.
Taking a deep breath, Emilia turned towards the fire, which was burning nicely as Thomas tended to it. He crouched by the fire, poking it alight with a poker. His profile was illuminated by the light from the flames. It was a strong, very beautiful profile. Emilia shook herself. She needed to take a deep breath and get out of there as quickly as possible.
“This isn’t proper, Mr. Andrews. We should be somewhere that isn’t so...well…”
“So intimate?” Thomas shot her a sidelong glance with a slight twitch of his mouth. “Only a short while ago, you were calling me Thomas. Wouldn’t this be appropriate for intimacy?”
Emilia knew her face was going bright red. She turned and paced away, only realizing too late that she was approaching the bed. Quickly, she changed direction, only to come back to the fire. Thomas had risen to his feet now and was watching her with a bemused expression.
“You don’t need to be so skittish, Emilia.”
“This isn’t the time!” Emilia snapped. “We should be somewhere a bit more...open. Less private.”
Thomas held up his hands. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’ll stay a respectable distance from you. All right?”
They stared at each other. Emilia then glanced at the door. She could leave right now, if she so wanted. Thomas had left the key in the lock. And he said he wouldn’t touch her. But Emilia couldn’t bring herself to move in that direction. Instead, she found herself drifting towards the couch, settling on the edge of the cushions. A flash of relief passed across Thomas’ face and he sat on one of the chairs, bowing his head at her.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” Emilia squared her shoulders. She could do this, even after her heart raced. She was surprised Thomas couldn’t hear it. “What happened earlier? Why did you lose your temper?”
“That.” Thomas rested his elbows on his knees, head still bowed. “You
know about the other governesses, don’t you?”
“I’ve heard about them, yes.”
“Well, none of them gave me a valid reason for leaving, if they gave a reason at all. I thought they were perfect for the job and Anna seemed to be fine with them - but then they were gone.” Thomas rubbed his hands over his face. He looked exhausted. “I wrote to them sometimes in an effort to find out why, and I would get told to never to contact them again. I’ve had a couple of male relatives coming to my door to threaten me. That was...interesting. And nobody would tell me what was going on. I never got a reason for the vanishing acts.”
Emilia had wondered about that. She had made inquiries herself and hadn’t really gotten any details. Whatever the real reason was, nobody had ever said anything.
Thomas went on, still staring at the floor, “Nobody telling me why...well, Jenkins said he would see what he could find. He’s better than I am at getting people to talk. It’s a bit of a talent of his.”
“Jenkins didn’t strike me as someone who could get anyone to talk.”
Thomas’ mouth twitched. He glanced up at her. Even though exhaustion seemed to be wearing out, there was still a bit of anger burning a dwindling light. It was like the anger from earlier had wrung him out.
“He has his ways. And he managed to get hold of Amanda Hanson. She was the…” He counted on his fingers. “The fifth governess for Anna. Anna absolutely adored her, and Miss Hanson was one of the better tutors for her. They were a perfect fit. But…” Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. “She was barely here three months before she was gone. Refused to have any contact at all. Her brother was the one who came here to tell me to leave her alone and I would regret contacting her again.”
Emilia listened to this in growing bewilderment. She had suspected something, but this was all confusion.
“I’m really surprised nobody told you the reason they left, or that there was a problem.”
“I did challenge that with Miss Hanson’s brother. Apparently, there was nothing that could rectify it and I already knew what had happened, so what was the point of going over old ground. It was very strange. To them, I must have looked like a complete monster.” Thomas rubbed at his temples. Emilia could feel the anger building a little again. “But Jenkins managed to persuade Miss Hanson to come here to talk to me. She was apprehensive, but she did so. And she told me…”
His voice trailed away, leaving him staring at the floor. Emilia leaned in.
“She told you what?”
For a moment, she thought Thomas wasn’t going to say anything. Then he got up suddenly and began to pace. He was practically shivering with tension. Emilia was sure she could reach out and touch it in the air around him as he went past.
When Thomas did speak, it made Emilia jump.
“She told me that Evelyn Wilson had approached her on multiple occasions, telling her that she didn’t have a place in the house - and certainly not at my side. Miss Hanson got the impression that Evelyn thought a governess was going to become my wife, and she needed to get rid of them to stop my eye from wandering elsewhere.” Thomas kicked at the chair he had been sitting in before resuming his pacing. “Miss Hanson is a strong-willed person and told Evelyn to leave her be, but then things started happening. Her room was broken into and her things were ruined. Someone had ripped them with a knife. Her former beau confronted her to say he had heard that Miss Hanson was having an affair with me. Broke off their engagement. It was false, of course, but by this point Miss Hanson knew it was Lady Wilson who had done all this, she wanted out of the whole drama.”
It took a few moments for the words to sink in. Emilia wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly. She stared at him.
“Lady Wilson was behind it all? But…” Emilia’s thoughts were struggling to keep up. “Why didn’t they tell you about this?”
Thomas scowled.
“Because they were led to believe that I wouldn’t listen to them as apparently Evelyn means everything to me, and we were just waiting for the right time to get married due to Anna. They thought we were romantically involved, and I wouldn’t listen to a thing they said.”
“She…?” Emilia rubbed at her ear. She must have misheard. “But surely they saw you and Lady Wilson interacting and knew there was no love lost on your side.”
“She was very careful in not being around when the governesses were. Our interactions happened when they were not present, either in another room or out of the house completely.” Thomas dragged his fingers through his hair. The strands were beginning to stand up on one side. “Evelyn played it well. And I was left in the dark about it. The women never saw us together, but Evelyn was convincing. It made them fear for their jobs, their reputations, so they just left.”
Emilia listened to this in growing shock. She had wondered if Evelyn Wilson would do something drastic to get Thomas to be her husband, seeing as how she was so fixated on him, but to threaten the governesses, women who Thomas wouldn’t look twice at? That was just ridiculous. Inexcusable. They were innocent of anything, and Evelyn had targeted them.
“Would she have done the same with me?”
“I think she would have, if I hadn’t told her father to get his daughter away from me.” Thomas said grimly. “He’s shipped Evelyn off to stay with a relative in Shropshire. She’s not going to be around anymore.”
Emilia would have gotten the same treatment had Evelyn been around. Except in her case she wouldn’t leave at the woman’s behest. She would have left once she got what she wanted, and Evelyn Wilson wasn’t going to force her away on anything.
“When Miss Hanson told me all this, I…I felt like someone had smacked me in the gut.” Thomas grimaced and rubbed his stomach. He looked pained. “I knew Evelyn wanted to be in my life, but like this? It...it was...I don’t know what to think. She’s made things a misery over the last two years. And Anna has suffered because of this.”
From the look of it, Thomas had suffered as well. Emilia resisted the urge to reach out and touch him, do anything to offer comfort. She took a deep breath and tried to count to ten. Which wasn’t easy when her pounding heart was making her head throb.
“Did Miss Hanson realize that you had no idea about any of this?”
“She knew as soon as she saw the look on my face.” Thomas stopped his pacing and rubbed his hands over his face with a heavy groan. “I’ve forgiven her for her part. She was an innocent in all this. But Evelyn...I can’t forgive her for that.”
If she had been in the same situation, Emilia wouldn’t have been able to forgive, either. It was too much for something that was never going to happen. Emilia had heard of stubbornness and being single-minded over something - she was the same herself on certain things - but to be so single-minded that you don’t believe anything except what is coming out of your mouth…
Emilia didn’t think she would be able to claw herself back up after this. Thomas would certainly not let her anywhere near his family again.
“It sounds like Evelyn Wilson took everything in a very wrong way.”
“I won’t argue about that,” Thomas muttered. “And all because of my grandmother. If she hadn’t tried to match them up and get it into Evelyn’s head that we were meant to be together no matter what…”
“Doing that for a few months before you realize that you’ve been told lies is one thing, Thomas, but fifteen years?”
Thomas made a face.
“Currently, she’s locked in her room while they make the arrangements to send her away. I’ve heard she’s kicking up a storm, but she’s used up the last bit of sympathy with everyone.”
It was a wonder she hadn’t used up all the sympathy years ago. Emilia would certainly have lost her patience years back. She liked to think she was patient, but when someone was this stubborn…
“She’s a grown woman, and yet she’s acting like a child.” Emilia shook her head. “I never thought someone would behave in such a manner.”
“And to hurt Anna as
well.” Thomas sagged onto the couch, falling back against the cushions as he stared at the ceiling. “She’s the one who suffered through all this. She warmed to each of those women, and then they were gone. Evelyn wanted Anna gone, and she must have thought I would send Anna away at some point.” He scoffed. “I’ve never hit a woman in my life, and I would never consider it, but with her...I really wanted to.”
Had he said this before today, Emilia might have believed that he would hit anyone. People were still saying that he had killed her father, and Emilia had been with them weeks ago. Now, she didn’t believe he could hit anyone. He certainly wouldn’t hit a woman, even after this declaration. Thomas was the kind of person who had more respect than people realized.