West of Want (Hearts of the Anemoi)

by Laura Kaye

  Her heart kicked into a sprint and her mouth dropped open. “I want to kiss you,” she breathed, shocking herself.

  “I would adore it if you would.” He tilted his head and gave her a small smile that tugged at her brain.

  She leaned in, anticipation and something else—something new, foreign, powerful—trembled within her. He released a shaky breath just as her lips met his.

  Skin against skin. Tongue against tongue. Physical contact exploded the locked chest of memories in her brain and rearranged the pieces like a broken mirror reassembling itself.

  She was Ella.

  And he was Zephyros.

  And they were meant to be together forever.

  A great moan ripped up her throat, but she couldn’t, wouldn’t, break the kiss. She climbed up him, unable to get close enough, and wound her legs and arms around him so tightly she worried for his safety. But she couldn’t fight these urges—to have, to claim, to protect.

  Victorious growls rumbled in his chest, against which strong arms strapped her body. She pushed him back against the bed, tore at his clothes, unable to make her vocal chords catch up to her body’s needs and her brain’s plans.

  The clothing disappeared from her grasp. She grinned at the delightful surprise, and memories piqued at her consciousness, but she couldn’t slow down to think on them. All she knew was that she wouldn’t be whole, couldn’t be complete until he was in her.

  Between them, she found him hard as steel. Her gaze shot to his as she sank down on his cock.

  “Thank you, thank you for coming back, for loving me enough,” he groaned. “I have missed you so goddamned much I thought I’d die waiting for you to return. Ride me, Ella, just have me.”

  She was already moving, pulled forward by urges more intense than any she’d ever experienced. Rolling her hips, she’d take him all the way inside, an incredible fullness that sucked energy from the rest of her body and congregated low in her belly. She’d lifted off him, until just his tip remained. The shifting expressions on his face guided her. He wore a mask of love and desire, need and contentment. Faster, harder, she went, racing them toward a finish line that might shatter her to pieces.

  But it felt so damn right.

  His hands grasped her hips. Guiding fingers dug into her flesh and threw her body over the edge. A scream ripped up her throat as her muscles convulsed around him. Relentlessly, he moved her through it and ground himself up into her until his own body went rigid. Head digging back into the covers, neck taut, mouth open, her beloved Zephyros shouted her name in release.

  She crashed into his chest. Arms embraced her. Oh, he held her so very tight.

  Emotion gathered into a rushing current, built into a tidal wave, and swamped her where she lay. Sobs she didn’t understand poured from her mouth and wracked her body.

  “Oh, love.” Zeph rolled them so they lay side by side. His big hand cupped her face and his thumbs swiped beneath her eyes.

  “Ov-er-whel-med,” she hitched, unable to control her breathing. Tears streamed from her eyes, dripped over her nose and into her hair. It was like the physical symptoms of a panic attack, without the panic. As she lay there, struggling to pull herself together, the analogy drew a darker memory from her brain. Her eyes went wide, allowing more wetness to spill. “Eu-eu-eur—”

  “I know. I know. Sshh. It will be okay.” He stroked her hair. “He’s not here, and a death sentence has been placed on his head. It’s only a matter of time. He will pay, Ella, for what he did to you.”

  “Was so…so…worried.” She sucked in a deep breath, frustrated with the overload of emotion.

  “Oh, gods, love. So was I.”

  She shook her head. “No. No. About…you.”

  He groaned and his mouth pressed to hers. The gentle slide of lips and tongue was soft, slow, reconnecting. And it proved she was alive. Surely she had been hurt in the fall from the bridge—seconds of her life that were so terrifying she couldn’t let herself linger on the memory in her current state—but once again, Zeph had come to her rescue.

  Leaning her forehead against his, she asked. “How bad was it this time?” His eyebrows drew down and he searched her gaze. “The healing,” she offered.

  “Ella, so much has happened.”

  She pushed onto an elbow and leaned into him, the curtain of her hair dropping around her face. His back! Oh no! She wrenched off of him. “I’m sorry. I totally forgot. Why didn’t you say something?”

  He sat up. “Why do you apologize? Forgot about what?”

  She waved her hands at him. “Your back. How sore are you?”

  Sighing, he leveled a serious gaze at her and reached out for her hand. “That’s what I was saying. You’ve been unconscious for nearly two weeks. My back is long healed.”

  “What?” Glancing down at herself, she took inventory. No apparent injuries, no pain.

  He pulled her into his arms, smoothed his hand over her cheek. Their faces tucked together, Zeph released a breath. “I don’t know how to say this other than to just say it.”

  “Please. I’m starting to freak out here.”

  “No, don’t, because everything has worked out. But you have to know. You died, Ella. From the fall. I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I…I tried…” He struggled to swallow. “But I couldn’t let you go. Boreas helped me bring you to the Underworld. There’s a river there, with waters powerful enough to heal even the gods, to restore life. But your human life force was already gone.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “Your name is Marcella. Your brother’s name was Marcus. Yes?”

  “Of course. You know this.”

  He nodded. “What were your parents’ names?”

  “How is that relevant—”

  “Please, you’ll understand in a moment.”

  “Okay. My dad’s name was Henry and my mom’s was Margaret.”

  One side of his lips curved into a smile. “And your mother’s parents—what were their names?”

  “Joseph and Marlene.”

  “Sounds as though it mostly ran in the female line, then. Do you know Marlene’s mother’s name?”

  Ella frowned. “Yes. I was named for her.”

  “Those names aren’t a coincidence, Ella. A long, long time ago, a very important god had a child with a human woman, and she had a daughter. And that daughter had a daughter. And so on. Down to you.”

  The hair rose on the back of her neck, all down her arms. “I, uh, I’m—”

  “Yeah. You have the divine blood of Mars in you, one of the ruling gods of the whole pantheon. And that’s how we were able to bring you back. But not as a human.”

  She froze, and that odd energy she noticed before stirred within her. “If I’m not human, then…what am I?”

  Zeph’s smile grew slowly, until joy and pride brightened his whole face. “You, my love, are a goddess.”

  EPILOGUE

  Two weeks later

  “What if he doesn’t like me?” Ella asked checking herself in the mirror for the tenth time. Zephyros had helped her don the traditional dress of the gods. The cloak and tunic were comfortable enough, and her hair looked pretty styled in big loose curls that fell over her shoulders, but this whole situation was just so surreal.

  She still couldn’t believe she was a freaking goddess. Jesus.

  Zeph came up behind her, wearing the male version of the traditional costume, and circled his arms around her waist. Meeting her eyes in the looking glass, he chuckled. “Not possible. First of all, he technically has already met you when he helped save you in the Underworld. Second, you are so fucking lovable my heart can barely stand it.” He winked. “And third, if he doesn’t like you, then fuck ’im.”

  She chuckled and dissolved into full-out laughter. God, she loved this man—this god.

  “What do you think he’s going to want me to do?” Ella was more excited about this part of the meeting with Mars. That she was related—even really, really distantly—to a mytho
logical god who turned out to be real after all had the power to make her dizzy if she thought on it long enough.

  “I don’t know, but I’m sure whatever it is, you’ll do great. Just remember, it will take time before you possess the full power of your godhood.”

  “I know.” Her situation was so unusual, no one knew how long to expect it might take. The children of the gods were born with their abilities, but they honed them over a great many years. The thought of kids made her shoulders drop. She turned in Zeph’s arms and rested her head against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat calmed and reassured. She no longer harbored an insecurity over her infertility—it seemed like ancient history now—but she was no less astounded by the sacrifice Zephyros had been willing to make for her. That he’d allowed his father to approve Alastor as the heir of the West after Eurus’s betrayal had to have been a major blow.

  Admittedly, she was less impressed by Aeolus’s sacrifice, which maybe was horribly insensitive and vengeful. But she couldn’t help it. If Eurus taught her anything, it was that there really was such a thing as too evil to live.

  The topic of sacrifices had her obsessing about Mars again. “Okay,” she said. “What I mean is, what if after he meets me, he decides I’m not worth whatever horrible sacrifice he had to make…down there. Geez, Zeph, it’s been a whole month.”

  Fingers on her chin, Zeph lifted her face and kissed her. “Mars is a big boy. Just about the biggest. Whatever Hades threw at him, he could take it. Trust me.”

  “I do. You know I do.”

  She heaved a deep breath that just about calmed her. What would Marcus think of all this? The thought had her smiling against Zeph’s chest, but it was also bittersweet. Marcus’s death had placed her in Zephyros’s path that day. Had he not died, they likely would’ve never known about Mars, the existence of gods, any of it.

  “I wish Marcus could’ve shared in all this,” she said softly, tilting her head back to meet Zeph’s gaze. Because his human life force had departed peacefully and his physical body no longer remained, no similar feat was possible for him. She understood that, she really did. But, still, sometimes she wished.

  “I do, too. I would’ve loved that for you.”

  Zeph changed their position and started to sway. He tucked their joined hands against his chest. He led, she followed, and they danced in front of her dressing room mirror, just off his—now their—private chamber within his estate in the Realm of the Gods. She smiled up at him. “There’s no music.”

  His expression was the picture of contentment, and it made him so unbelievably gorgeous. “Maybe not, but I don’t need music to feel moved to dance with you.”

  “I love you,” she said, resting her head against his chest again. “Even if you are just trying to distract me.”

  His chuckle rumbled against her ear. “Is it working?”

  “Wonderfully.”

  “Good.”

  For long moments, she simply reveled in the feel of the man she loved and enjoyed his arms around her, his body against her. Oh, for the day her godhood would be strong enough to be joined with his, formalizing the love and commitment they already felt and had privately pledged.

  “When things calm down and you’re stronger, we can return to the human realm.”

  “I think I would like that,” she said. There were things she already missed—spring rains, the sun on her face, the True Blue, M&Ms. Sad that there were no people included in that list, but that made all this so much easier to enjoy and appreciate.

  “We could—” Zeph froze. “Oh. We’ve got company. Come. Mars will be here any minute.”

  Ella nodded, picking up the energy signature that announced another god’s arrival. The only one she recognized immediately so far—besides Zeph’s—was Chrysander’s. He dropped in all the time. She secretly loved it, but he was so good at playful banter she couldn’t help but give him shit.

  Hand in hand, they left their suite of rooms and threaded through the great house. It was large, almost a villa in its style, and had a beautiful western exposure, but it was so sparsely furnished and decorated it was clear Zeph did little more than sleep here.

  Together, they would change that, and make his house their home.

  Zeph led her to the ceremonial center of his world, his godhood, a domed circular room with an intricate and stunning tiled compass rose laid into the floor. All the Anemoi had rooms of this sort, apparently, though they differed in one fundamental way—they were oriented around each god’s cardinal direction. In Zephyros’s world, the arrow pointed west, toward an enormous ornate ‘W’.

  They’d no more entered the room than Mars appeared. Ella gasped. Zephyros sank to one knee and bowed his head. His hand tugged hers. She shook the surprise away and mimicked Zeph.

  Mars chuckled. “Well, aren’t you lovely, and the absolute picture of health? Rise, rise, both of you.” The men exchanged greetings. “She retained her memories after all?” he asked Zeph.

  “Yes, my lord. Praise the gods.”

  The other god nodded. “Indeed.”

  Heart in her throat, Ella stood, Zeph’s support radiating through her, and faced the man who had not only helped save her, but who turned out to be a distant relative. “My lord,” she said, trying to remember the protocol Zeph had gone over earlier. “I am so thankful to you.” She met his good-humored gaze and released the breath it seemed she’d been holding all day. He was a hulking man of a god with warm brown curly hair and beard, wearing a much finer version of the same costume Zeph had on.

  He bowed his head once. “Your thanks are not necessary, but they are appreciated. Are you well? Happy here? Is there anything you need?”

  Her mouth opened and closed. She was stunned by his caring and generosity. “I…no, I don’t think so. I’m still just trying to adjust.”

  “That’s as it should be,” he said.

  “Zephyros told me I will work for you, but I fear I will be of no use for a long time.”

  He crossed the room and smiled down at her. “Be well, Marcella. I had no illusions you would come into your full power from the start. Therefore, I am giving you a job with which you already have some familiarity and interest, and where you can learn and practice your powers before we expand your purview.”

  Her stomach flip-flopped in anticipation. “Okay, that sounds wonderful.” She glanced over her shoulder at Zeph, who wore the most self-satisfied smile.

  Mars’s deep voice continued. “I have many natures, and they play different roles. One of them is guardian of all those things cultivated and harvested for food. Given your love and knowledge of the Chesapeake Bay, and its dire state of health, you will be the goddess of that waterway, working to restore its sea grasses and oyster beds, increase the oxygen levels of the sea and, with that, the crab and fish populations. All these provide enormous foodstuffs, so it would be a small, manageable locale in which you could develop and hone your powers within my realm of responsibilities.”

  “That would be…” She clasped her hands to her heart. “That’s just…it’s perfect and amazing and exactly the kind of thing I’d hoped for.” Stepping forward, she closed the gap between them and grasped Mars’s hand.

  Zephyros sucked in a breath and tugged her back. “She means no offense, my lord.”

  Ella’s head spun as she belatedly remembered the rule that a lesser god should never touch a major one first, lest they invite provocation.

  “Both of you, calm down,” Mars chuckled. “In case you haven’t already figured it out, I consider Marcella as family now and, by extension, you, Zephyros, also. I cannot claim the role or function of father here, but I hope you will call on me, seek my guidance and assistance when needed, and meet the other members of our quite large family.” He smiled.

  Relief coursed through Ella and she straightened and smiled. “I would like that.”

  “Good. Then it is settled. Your first task is to familiarize yourself with that over which you will have dominion, and then we ca
n teach you how to put your power to work.” Ella nodded, another smile making her cheeks ache. Mars tugged at his beard. “Oh, yes, one other thing.” He grinned so broadly it made him look almost jovial.

  Ella glanced at Zeph, whose expression was as mystified as she felt.

  Mars stepped in front of Ella and held out a hand. “May I?”

  Bewildered, Ella nodded. “Yes?”

  For just a moment, Mars pressed his hand to her abdomen. That grin grew impossibly bigger. “It’s as I thought.” His gaze went from hers to Zeph’s and back. “You will be able to conceive, Marcella. When you have gained the full power of your godhood, you will be fit to carry a god in your womb.”

  Ella gasped and felt her jaw go slack. She reached a hand out and Zeph’s was right there, grasping hers, providing strength. And, oh God, his hand shook and she didn’t have to look at him to know what he was feeling. But she did, and the utter joy lighting his eyes and shaping his face was as brilliant as Mars’s news.

  “I…I’m beyond…just, thank you.”

  Mars nodded. “My pleasure. Now, I would love to have a longer visit, but given the length of my absence, I have things I should check on, people who will have missed me.” He winked. “I hope they did, anyway.”

  “Of course,” Ella said in a shaky voice, not fearing to take his hand again and offer a gentle thanks. The good-byes were quick and then Mars was gone. Ella’s heart was so full it might burst.

  Zeph stepped in front of her and pulled her into his arms. Reverent words spilled from his lips against her neck in that foreign language. “I’m so happy about this, Ella. Happy you’ll get the chance to have something you didn’t think you would. I didn’t either, for that matter. And now we not only get each other, but, someday, a family.”

  She stroked his hair and held him. Tears and joy made her throat go tight. She nodded and whispered, “I’m going to make you a daddy. One day, you’ll hold our child in your arms.”