“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not watch her while she sleeps. Is that creepy?” Carson doesn’t take his eyes from Joanna, who sleeps soundly in the little plastic hospital bassinet.
I can’t keep my eyes off of her either. “Not at all. It’s sweet.”
I reach for his hand, relishing the feel of his fingers in my own. Joanna moves, scrunching up her nose like she’s having a dream, and I swear we both gasp at the same time.
The man I was always meant to spend my life with turns to me. “If we had to go through everything we did to get to this moment, I would do it all over again.”
My heart thumps, because how did he know I’d been thinking the same thing since our daughter made her debut to the world. “I’m sorry we wasted so much time. I’m sorry I … spent so many years being so angry.”
Carson shushed me. “All of the hurt and pain led us to something so beautiful, it was worth it. Sure, I’d love if Joel and your father could be here with us, to see this little miracle we made. If I could go back, that would be the one thing I’d try to do differently. But we only get one chance at life, and beyond all rationality, it gave you and I a second one. I’m holding on to that as tight as I can and cherishing every moment of it.”
A tear slid down my cheek as I watched Carson’s deep brown eyes go glassy. “I love you.”
He reached a hand out and brushed my cheek. “I’m in awe of you. Love isn’t even a big enough word. What you just did, I will forever be indebted to you, Blake. You two are my world.”
The kiss we share has new meaning, like we’d only brushed the surface of what it meant to kiss for the numerous years of our lives. His lips felt new, the way his hands stroked my jawbone was an exploration I’d yet to experience. Everything was deeper now, the way we were entwined, by blood and flesh, meant infinitely more.
We were only interrupted by a tiny noise, a squeak or a clearing of the throat. Looking over, there were two big eyes watching us. Her parents, kiss shamelessly in front of her.
“I’d only ever stop kissing your mommy to get some kisses from you.” Carson delicately planted a kiss on Joanna’s cheek, and I swear her lips tipped up in a smile.
It felt like a lifetime ago that I was stuck in my life, mourning the family I’d lost. Fate was incredible that way. It could make you suffer through an event so tragic, that it felt like you’d never dig your way out of that hole. And in a snap of its fingers, it could also reveal the destiny that had been waiting just for you.
And like the wild horses that owned the beach roads we lived on, we would persevere. We would fight through the storms, the chaos and the obstacles to get to our sunny day. My little family and I.
Epilogue
Joel
It was kind of serendipity that the two most important people in my life were the two most important people to each other.
That didn’t make them love me any less, I knew that. Hell, I was Joel Sayer for Christ’s sake, I was awesome. But it did make our bond even stronger. And it eased my worry, because I knew if they were ever on their own, they would look out for each other. If I couldn’t look out for them, or be the glue that made them stick, they would still be okay. They would still be together.
The beach party raged around me, and my pulse hummed with the energy. These were the nights that I felt alive, that some kind of monstrous energy sprang forth from inside me. It fueled me to do some reckless things, but in the end, I was always safe and sound right next to Blake and Carson.
As I strutted around the fire, a random girl draping her arm around my shoulder, I couldn’t help but look over at the two of them. Sitting on the hood of his truck, they looked so happy together.
That’s all they had ever been. Happy and together. From the day my twin sister and I had met Carson, I knew he would be a part of our lives forever. The kid was my best friend, the guy I got into trouble with, but also the genius who always ended up saving me. He could whoop my ass in a surfing competition, and was constantly covering for me when I was late for class. Carson Cole was a tremendous person, and I knew that in the end, he would make it further than any of us. The Outer Banks was just too big for him.
And right now, he was looking at my sister like she was the whole world sitting in the palm of his hand. A little jealous flare sounded in my heart, but I tamped down on it. She was my baby sister, younger by thirty seconds, and I always wanted to protect her.
From the day we came into this world together, I’d been watching out for her, and her for me. She was my bullshit detector, my surrogate mother, the person who kicked my ass when it needed kicking. She held together our tiny family of three like neither my dad or I could, and I loved her fiercely.
I remember the day they’d told me they were dating. I pushed Carson down and threatened his life if he ever hurt my sister. Then, I helped him up, hugged them both, and told them I was happy.
Because I was. Anyone who stood within a hundred feet of them knew they were meant to be together.
I just hoped that one day, they’d have some cute looking kids and name one after me.
Tonight was no different, with them on the outskirts of the party and me controlling the three-ring circus.
“Hey, bro, which one of these fine ladies are you going home with tonight?” One of my friends from class shouted in my direction.
“Whichever one begs the hardest.” I wink and three girls around me giggle.
In reality, I’d love to have what my sister and Carson have. But I’ve cast myself in this role, and I feel I’ve got to stick to it. Maybe when senior year is over, maybe when I go to college, I can reinvent myself. I can be the person I’d truly like to be, and not the clown everyone here thinks I am.
My gaze swings back towards Carson’s truck, and I see that Blake is walking up the sand dunes away from the bonfire. Probably to go spend time with him somewhere, alone. And those are thoughts I definitely don’t need to think.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and there is my best friend. “Hey, dude. Great party.”
Looking around with nostalgic eyes, I sigh. “It is pretty great, huh? We should do this every night of the summer, man. Party like we’re never leaving this place.”
Carson looks out to the sea. “We are leaving, though.”
Emotion grips my throat, because I don’t know who I am without Carson and Blake. “We’ll see each other though, it’s only a few months. We’ll be home before we know it. And in four years, we’ll all be back here, like nothing ever changed.”
If only the future were that easy to see.
“You’re right, brother. Maybe someday, I’ll be your brother for real.” He winks at me.
And even though I’m fond of the idea, I have to pretend it’s gross. “Yuck, man, that’s my sister.”
He laughs. “We’re going to head out, Blake is already gone. Why don’t I take you home?”
I knew that suggestion. Carson was thinking that I’d already drank too much. Maybe I had, but it was summer and this was a party.
“Nah, dude. Come on, let’s take a drive or something. Cruise down the beach, try and find some horses.” The idea struck and took hold of my brain.
Nothing would be better tonight than my open air Jeep, a great rock song blasting on the radio, and the summer night blowing through my hair. Yeah, that’s what I felt like doing right this minute.
“Aw, come on man, you’re drunk, you shouldn’t be driving.” Carson tried to take the keys from me.
I wrestled away. “It’s the beach highway man, and anyway, you drive, come with me.”
He looked up to the sand dunes. “Blake is waiting for me.”
Carson’s eyes are longing for his girlfriend, and I know he wants to be with no one but her right now. I know how tough it’s been for them thinking about being apart once college comes.
“Yeah, yeah lover boy … go get my sister. I’ll be all right.”
He eyes me cautiously. “You sure?”
“Yeah, man,
I’ll be fine. I love you, bro.” For some odd reason, I feel the need to tell him how much he means to me.
“Love you, too, you idiot. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that, Carson takes off sprinting for the dunes, and for Blake.
I look on in admiration, and am glad that my sister has someone who loves her so much.
Grabbing my keys and getting in my Jeep, I plan to take that drive down the beach. A solitary man in the night, breathing in the sea’s dark breeze.
As I take off, chewing up sand in my tires, I think about how Blake, Carson and I will be back in this spot, years from now, living life as the three most important people to each other. And I can’t wait for that.
Acknowledgments
If you’ve never been to the Outer Banks in North Carolina, you need to book a vacation with your entire extended family as soon as possible.
So much of my books are inspired by locations; those where I’ve lived or just small paradises where I’ve spent relaxing weeks. And Duck, Corolla and Carova are three of the most beautiful places you could ever go.
There is a different feel in the Outer Banks, life slows down and problems don’t feel as big as they once were. Which, for this New Jersey lady, is not a small feat to accomplish. While on vacation with my family over the summer of 2016, I walked so many streets of the Outer Banks, explored the beach highways and the habitats of the wild horses.
So this one was for my family, for all of the incredible experiences we had on that vacation and all of the special memories we made there. Blake and Carson’s story began to take flight as I looked back on our time on the beach, and the words flowed naturally from there.
As always, thank you to my small but mighty team: Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations, Marla Esposito at ProofingStyle, the ladies at Give Me Books, and Ena & Amanda at Enticing Journey Book Promotions. I would fall flat on my face if not for you women.
To the readers and bloggers who have been with me from the very beginning, I owe you everything. Thank you for taking a chance on me, and for continuing to take a chance on me.
While writing this book, I was going through one of the most hectic times of my life, and I can’t conjure a word that means more than thank you to gift to my husband. He is my rock, my support, my midnight snack maker and the other half of the equation when it comes to my ability to be an author.
About the Author
Author of romance novels such as Red Card and On Thin Ice, Carrie Aarons writes sexy, swoony and sarcastic characters who won't get out of her head until she puts them down on a page.
Carrie has wanted to be an author since the first time she opened a book, and can’t imagine a better or more maddening profession.
When she isn't in a writing coma, Carrie is chasing her Great Dane/Lab puppy through the dog parks of New Jersey, or trying to make her husband binge watch the latest Netflix craze.
For more information:
@authorcarriea
Author Carrie Aarons
www.carrieaarons.com
[email protected]
Also by Carrie Aarons
All the Frogs in Manhattan
You know how Cinderella had the whole glass slipper, pumpkin carriage, fairy godmother thing?
Yeah…with foot-destroying stilettos, Uber, and a Twitter horoscope, my life is far from a happily ever after.
In fact, instead of Prince Charming, I end up dating every slimy, scaly, brainless frog in the kingdom of Manhattan. And by frog, I mean all of the stereotypical bad guys that Mom and Lifetime movies warned you about.
The meathead player.
The mommy's boy.
The namedropper.
The cheapskate.
If they suck at relationships, I’ve probably kissed those cold, clammy lips in the hopes of finding love. Until one day, when one man with commitment issues offers to help me find the Romeo to my Juliet.
But what happens when the frog, who was never supposed to turn into a prince, kisses you at midnight? Ok fine, he propositioned me for some afternoon delight after brunch, but not everything can be straight out of a fairytale.
On Thin Ice
Nathan Rush is a small town man who has never dreamed of a bigger life.
Until, that is, the only surviving heiress of America's richest family lands on his doorstep. Nathan is the groundskeeper at Hollis House, the Valon family's upstate New York mansion just outside of Harlin Falls, the quiet, sleepy town he was raised in. He's an honest, hard-working man who wants nothing more than a beer and a hockey game on TV at the end of the night. Except, when the ice princess starts to melt, Nathan pictures his future in a way he never has before.
Camille Valon's life has taken place in the spotlight.
Until, that is, her parents are murdered in a mysterious Christmas Day fire. Now all she wants is to flee the prying news cameras and slow-moving investigation. She's an upper crust ice princess who is good at keeping everyone at arm's length. Grief-stricken and still fearing for her life, Camille arrives at her family's safe haven estate with secrets and a chip on her shoulder. What she didn't count on was the kind, ridiculously attractive man who caters to her every need.
As the months go by, and an impending threat grows closer to discovering Camille's location, the line between employer and employee becomes dangerously blurred. Nathan and Camille could be each other's saving graces, if only they'd put aside their visions of a perfect life and take the chance fate has put right in front of them.
Blind Landing (Flipped, Book 1)
Fear stops dreams in their tracks before they even have a chance. Then again, so do injuries.
Natalia Grekov was born to win Olympic gold. As the USA’s top gymnast, she’s calm, confident and ready to make her country proud in just two short months. And her elite athlete lifestyle includes no time for distractions—especially men. When a disastrous fall in practice puts her dreams at risk, it seems the only person who can help her is the one person she wants nothing from.
Spencer Russell is gymnastics’ bad boy. A cocky, laid-back charmer with abs of steel and a witty mouth, he waltzes around the U.S. Gymnastics Training Camp like he owns the place—even though he doesn't anymore. After an injury sidelined his career and any chance at Olympic glory, he’s now just a coach, helping other gymnasts reach their goals. Serious is not a word in Spencer’s vocabulary. But when Natalia tumbles into his life, he's suddenly sincerely interested in helping the blonde beauty in any way he can.
Can they vault over the obstacles standing in their way? Or will Spencer be the distraction that causes Natalia's chance at gold to crash and burn?
Grasping Air (Flipped, Book 2)
We were the seconds after a grip released the bar, body floating through the air with nervous wonder. Would we successfully grab it again, or would we hit the mat, shattered and defeated?
Peyton Adams learned a long time ago that selfish and detached is the only way to be in life. What most people call shameless or obnoxious behavior, she considers key to getting where she needs to go. Most disapproving of all? USA Gymnastics’ golden boy with an eight-pack, Jared Hargrove. After being cut from the women’s team right before Rio, Peyton is back on the post-Summer Games tour. Not only is she the only one without a gold medal, but her history with Jared won’t stay buried for long.
Control and good manners; the two things drilled into Jared Hargrove’s head from birth. As a four-time gold medalist, he’s always obeyed the rules and reaped the reward. Well, except for the whirlwind week four years ago in London when wild-child Peyton Adams finally got under his skin, and into his bed. She broke his heart, and he hasn’t removed the ice wall around it since. Now she’s back to redeem herself to the world of gymnastics, and it seems, to push his buttons more than ever.
After years of resentment and heartache, can they repair a relationship so badly broken that most people wouldn’t even try? Or will they continue to fall, grasping at any last emotion before they finally collapse?
LOST (Ca
ptive Heart Duet, Book 1)
We knew each other a lifetime ago. And then...
We lost childhoods. We lost opportunities. We lost love.
Fate is giving us another chance. But a chance at what?
Because even though we've been brought back to each other under the worst of circumstances...
We are still. So. Damn. Lost.
FOUND (Captive Heart Duet, Book 2)
We found each other where no else could.
Found a purpose. Found ourselves. Found love.
Again.
But then life got in the way.
Three years later and the people that we once were are nowhere to be found.
Can our love survive everything we've put it through?
Can we find a way back to each other...
Again?
Kissed by Reality
Falling in love is hard. Falling in love on national television is impossible. Right?
Leighton Aldridge did not sign up to meet her soulmate. She signed up for the lights, camera and action. So when the Hollywood-native ends up with the wounded war veteran and a ring on her finger, it's a surprise to everyone. What isn't a surprise is the way she breaks Finn Wyatt's heart, or the massively public breakup that follows. But a year later she's back, ready for another round on the reality TV show that brought them together. She knows he was the real thing, and she's ready to fight for him.
Finn is the new Mr. Right. The country's favorite single guy, and the object of 25 women's affections. But when his ex-fiance steps onto set and back into the limelight, he wishes he never agreed to another season. Leighton shattered his heart for the world to see, and he's not ready to face that reality. Can Leighton convince him, and America, that she's the one? Or will her future with Finn only consist of 15 more minutes of fame?
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