Forbidden Bastard

by Felicia Lynn

  “Beautiful place. Looks like it was recently renovated. Was that your doing or did you purchase it after reconstruction?” he asks casually.

  I’m not sure how much of my personal details I’m ready for Lucas to know, but for the sake of avoiding any added uncomfortable silence, I give him some so we can move on.

  “I just purchased the place a couple of weeks ago. It was already renovated, but I fell in love with the charm they were able to keep while revitalizing the unit. I have a feeling Gatsby and I will enjoy our new home.” He smiles and looks at my ten-week-old solid gray Cane Corso puppy.

  “That’s definitely a suitable name for you, mister,” he says to Gatsby, and I’m surprised by the tenderness in voice.

  “Would it be okay if we sit down for a minute?” He asks, eyeing my new sofa. I’ve yet to sit on it for more than two minutes since I arranged the throw pillows shortly after it arrived. I suppose I bought it to be used, but I just wasn’t expecting to have company so soon, or that my first official guest would be Lucas, of all people.

  I nod and follow him farther into the room, choosing to sit on the armchair across from the sofa with the oversized round marble coffee table between us. Gatsby, I quickly learn, is a deserter and follows Lucas. He jumps onto the sofa as Lucas sits and climbs into his lap to lie down. Looks like the excitement of company has worn him out. I watch as Lucas pets Gatsby soothingly, confused and not knowing whether to be jealous or just admire the precious sight.

  Keeping the small talk session alive, Lucas distracts me from my thoughts. “You chose the perfect time of year to move to Boston.”

  I hesitate, momentarily torn by my conflicting emotions. “Yes, I was excited to get moved once I finally decided to take the leap. Plus, I wanted to be in before the magnolias bloom and baseball season started, so I could maybe go to some of the games,” I tell him.

  My response seems to amuse him as he softly laughs. “You know, I don’t know how I forgot about that. Now that you say that, I remember you as a little girl with your long French braids talking smack to guys all season long. Even cute, you were vicious when it came to your loyalty to the home team rival. Damn, you had guts. Men four times your age and size wouldn’t have had the balls to taunt those men the way you did and live to discuss it. I’ve got to admit; I admired that about you. I guess maybe when I switched teams, I left a lot of that stuff in the past.”

  “Yeah. That I understand better than anyone, I suspect. I’m hoping my fresh start is less cursed this time,” I admit, surprising myself by my openness, but since it was just a response to his personal statement, it’s probably okay. Unless he tries to read into it and dig deeper, but hopefully, we can let it go.

  “I would’ve offered my resources had I known you’d be moving in today. Is there anything you still need help with?” A faintly eager look flashes in his eyes with the question, causing more confusion for me.

  I shrug and look away, no longer able to keep my guard secure against the way he’s making me feel. “I think I’m okay. Obviously, Gatsby and I are just getting settled and have a lot of exploring to do to acclimate to the new town, but I’m sure we’ll adjust in no time. I’m pretty sure you’d be overqualified to help with my essential needs at the moment anyway, but thanks for the offer,” I admit calmly, trying to mask the inner turmoil.

  When I look up, I find his eyes fixed on me, and there’s an obvious change in his mood.

  “I think I can be the judge of any possible over-qualifications. You should know I wouldn’t make any offer I wasn’t interested in fulfilling. If your needs weren’t imperative to me, I would’ve had the florist deliver the flowers with a gift certificate to a local restaurant. Obviously, I showed up instead, so that has to tell you something. Now, please tell me about these essential needs, Sunshine.”

  I wavered for a second, trying to comprehend his statement before I realized he’d asked a question and was waiting for the answer. For a brief moment, I’m completely thrown off and falling into the trap of his tenderness, but then I remember the type of man I’m dealing with. Lucas is a made-man. He may have a smooth side, but I’ve yet to meet any man bound to this life who didn’t have razor-sharp edges hidden somewhere. His are just carefully concealed. I don’t intend to find out, though I’m sure they’re there.

  I’m starting to rethink my attempts at being polite. It might be time for me to set him straight so I can start living my new life. I can’t let myself forget that Lucas is involved in the organization that has stolen almost every person I love. He may have been too young to have any responsibility or involvement in what happened to my parents, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have blood on his hands from others. As Matteo’s brother, there’s no way he could really believe the claims and explanation we were given, but I wonder why he isn’t as angry about it as I am. Why is he sitting here in front of me instead of hunting down those responsible?

  Yes. I have to pull myself together and remind myself that Lucas may look like my best friend, but he’s nothing like Matteo. Matteo wasn’t a made-man. He was good and pure, heart and soul. I have no doubt Matteo was capable of killing someone with his bare hands, but he’d never have killed for sport.

  If the roles were reversed, would Matteo kill for me? Without question, absolutely. I understand because the incessant ache from losing him doesn’t fade, but at the moments when the blinding anger takes hold, it’s all I can see and feel. Nothing keeps me awake at night like the nagging urge to find those responsible . . . and then figure out a way to make them pay.

  If Lucas can sit in front of me right now all cool, calm, and collected and not feel what I’m unable to escape, there’s no possible way we could ever be on the same team. But what if he knows something? What I need more than anything is to get close enough to those with access to dark secrets. Someone who knows the truth, and right now, there’s not much I want more.

  I’ve been manipulated my entire life. I think it’s time to show them all what I’ve learned and finally fight for my fighter. I owe him this, at the very least.

  It looks like Lucas will unexpectedly be giving me a ride down to the underworld. I guess seeing Lucas was just the thing I needed to clear my head and figure out where my priorities rested. I’ll have a lifetime to clean my slate once I get answers, but I’ll never be able to move on with any quality of life until I know the truth.

  6

  - Liability -

  Lucas

  In my business, nothing is more valuable than being able to decipher good from evil. The secret is to understand the driving factors that cause a person to forget their values and morals. The world is far too complicated to divide every aspect and decision of life into rights and wrongs. Recognizing the difference between the liars, cheats, and traitors who lack honor, and those who are lost souls—desperate, scared, and fighting demons of the most ferocious kind. Nothing is black or white completely. There’s a vast section of gray between it all.

  Right now, I’m watching Elianna dance between the darkness of night and light of day on that spectrum. The buildup of pain, anger, and deep-seated mistrust that she’s trying to contain is fighting to be set free. It’s only a matter of time before she loses hold on those threads of control.

  She knows more than she’s admitted, and I suspect it has everything to do with my brother. I recognize it in her eyes because I see it in myself every time I look into a mirror. I can only hope others have missed the clues, but I’d be lying if I said she’s shielding it well.

  This situation could be more serious than I expected and planned for, if that’s the case. Getting her to open up and let me help is a fight I’m more than willing to go to battle over.

  “Elianna, in my head, essential needs are those necessary for survival, so if that’s your understanding of the definition as well, it shouldn’t take this much time to produce a list. Are you still thinking or are you ready to fill me in? I have time to wait and no intentions of rushing you, so feel free to continue
discerning. Unless of course, you’re ready to address the items. I’m eager to show you just how efficiently my overqualified skills can get shit done, Sunshine.” With a smirk, I challenge her.

  Eli is no fragile flower. I know she can handle it and keep up, and I see the fire in her. The problem is, that fire is so damn captivating it’s impossible not to want to get close. Even the risk of burning me alive isn’t a deterrent, but chancing her safety is. If I can’t take my eyes off Elianna, how the hell will I ever be able to watch over her shoulder and make sure any assholes in her path get addressed? I can’t. That’s all I need to remember, and we’ll make it through this together.

  With a slight smile of defiance, she lifts her chin, meeting my gaze. “Well, if you really must know, Lucas, I need food in the house, so I must find a grocery store. Also, I won’t survive without coffee and pastries. It’s a non-negotiable need, so I need to know where the local coffee shops are. Lastly, in an effort to prevent mayhem in my local neighborhood, I need a bar that I can go to on occasion to have a drink. You may think I’m kidding, but I’ll have you know your brother agreed it was necessary. It’s been a while since I’ve walked into a bar or pub. I never expected that little ritual to be this challenging to continue without him beside me. However, going to a bar and not having Matteo ordering me to drink it to kill the bug that crawled up my ass may not have the same healing effect it used to, if I’m being honest.”

  Her small confession is unexpected, but the moment she said his name, I felt myself jerk from a stab of pain while I watched her body do the same. Aren’t we a damn match made somewhere in the gray area between heaven and hell?

  “Okay, Elianna. Here’s the plan. You’re going to make a list of the groceries you need to get you through the next few days, and then you’re going to haul your gorgeous ass upstairs and get dressed while I have one of the guys run to the grocery store. I’m not ashamed to admit my brother was the smarter of the two of us. Therefore, I trust his judgment and suspect you’re long overdue for some extermination treatments. I’d like it very much if you’d join me at work tonight. Bonus, I’ll introduce you to some friends since I suspect you don’t know many people in the area quite yet. But on the way to Indigo, we’ll drive around the block and scope out the local coffee shops. So there, that’s the plan. Wasn’t that easy?” I wasn’t sure how she would respond; it could’ve gone either way—agreeable or angry—but I didn’t fucking expect her to laugh.

  “Lucas, that’s really kind of you and a fantastic offer, but—.” I stop her midsentence.

  “It’s not up for debate, Sunshine. You’re the one who classified those items as essential needs, not me. I just agreed to prove the efficiency of my overqualified skills to help check the boxes on your list. Now, the sooner you write that list and get dressed, the sooner the extermination can begin.” I stand, noticing a notepad and pen sitting on the open bar top separating the family room from the open kitchen. I move that direction to get it then deliver the notepad and pen to her with a smug expression, completely ignoring her annoyance. Seeing the glimmer of excitement in her eyes in spite of her work to downplay it gives me hope we have a chance of surviving this.

  Almost three hours later, I’m walking toward the back entrance of Indigo with Eli at my side wearing her confidence in the form of a stiff smile. Damn. She’s good.

  Looking poised and so fucking hot, she’s wearing a strapless black curve-hugging dress that my cock immediately jumped up for a standing fucking ovation when she walked down the stairs. Elianna is showing enough skin that it doesn’t even matter what the scrap of fabric she’s wearing is covering.

  All I’ve been able to think about for the last forty-seven minutes is how fast I’d be able to slip my cock into her once she wraps those delicious, shapely thighs around me. This girl is going to wreak havoc in this club tonight, but I’m not too worried. It’s unlikely I’ll be able to take my eyes off her, even if I wanted to.

  Thankfully, in the event I do have to step away, my club manager and the closest thing I have to friend, Christian, will be here tonight. He’s my next best option for extra eyes and ears on Eli. No one is expecting her at the club tonight, but once I knew she’d accepted my invitation, Christian was able to pull the men together to pass word on straight from the boss, laying the ground rules where Elianna Nicchi is concerned. She shouldn’t have any trouble from any of our men, so that’ll be a start and hopefully set a precedent.

  I open the back door, allowing her to skirt in front of me, but when I move my palm to the small of her back to gently guide her down the long hallway, I realize immediately I’ve fucked up. My body temperature instantly spikes to dangerous levels, and I know my seemingly innocent intention to be a gentleman just proved that I have no chance of reining in my control. Elianna is now my mission impossible, and it’s unbearable to resist my attraction to her.

  I don’t bother to remove my hand from the hallow indentation at the bottom of her back. The damage is done, so my only option is to figure out a new plan and work around this new development.

  She slows, the music growing louder with each step closer to the end of the hall and the door to the main floor of the club. I stop, pulling her back a step and spin her stand her in front of me. Tough as fucking nails, she’s not even the slightest bit startled by my rapid change in course. That definitely doesn’t help my cause not to become more turned on. Her eyes roam my face in the silence, and I allow her the time to explore. When her gaze finally settles on mine, I speak.

  “You ready for this, principessa?” I ask, with unexplainable uncertainty.

  She gives a forced smile and a tense nod of consent before looking away, but it isn’t enough for me. Moving my hand under chin, I gently turn her face back to me.

  “Elianna, you’re safe with me. I can promise you; I’ll be close even if I’m not by your side. Do you trust me?” I inquire. She looks at me as if she’s weighing the question.

  “Lucas, am I in danger?” she asks, trying to put the pieces together and avoiding my question. Smart girl.

  “I don’t know, Sunshine, but I’m not willing to take any chances. There are too many unknowns, and until I know anything with absolute certainty, I want to be the one keeping you safe.”

  “Why you? Why not the Nicchi family? Do you feel responsible for me just because your brother isn’t here?” she interrogates. She’s right to question my motives. Trust is a betraying bitch, and a mistake can get you or someone you love killed. I don’t trust anyone to have my back completely, and because of that, I’ll never be able to stop looking over my shoulder. Eli is different, though. She’s safe with me, and I want her to trust me, but I know it’s a lot to ask of people like us, so I understand.

  Even if my motive to stand beside her at the service was initially at the request of my mother, that changed the second she let the shield of hers down. Elianna is strong, gorgeous, confident, and too smart for her own good, but once she showed me her vulnerability, I was done for.

  “Let’s just say I have trust issues, sunshine. That’s why it must be me. I would’ve done anything my brother asked me, but he wouldn’t have ever had to ask me to keep you close,” I tell her truthfully. It seems the harder I try to ignore the facts in front of me, the more they come back to slap me in the face.

  “So I should just trust you, Lucas . . . with my life? What do you really want from me?” Her voice drifts to almost a whisper.

  “Everything, Elianna. Every. Single. Thing. If you aren’t ready to trust me, I’ll wait. Until then, though, I’m still going to be the one to keep you safe.” I pause, measuring her stance for a moment, before continuing. “I want you to give me a code word in case you need a second to regroup or want an out. What will it be?” I probe, not allowing my hand to fall from under her chin. Even this small connection somehow seems to be bigger than we are.

  “Liability,” she answers, her voice sounding fragile. It’s the first outward sign of weakness she’s shown me, other th
an the minutes we shared at Matteo’s service when I was her comfort and shield of support.

  Her eyes betray her confidence and the instinct to reassure her is too strong to avoid. I drop my hand from her chin and wrap my fingers around her tiny waist, letting my free hand mimic the same on her other side. I tug her a step closer to me. Bending my head slightly forward, I rest my forehead on hers so that we’re eye to eye. Earning her trust isn’t going to be easy, but it’s necessary.

  “Liability,” I repeat, my tone gentle and still somehow apologetic. I’m not sure what I want more from her. A part of me wants to push her away and keep my distance, but the other half knows I’ll never get her close enough to satisfy my need for her. I can’t let her be my weakness. Men like me would never survive in this life with weaknesses. Elianna deserves better, and I know it, but knowing and accepting are two completely different things.

  7

  - Trust -

  Elianna

  At moments like this, I wonder if my father trusted the man who pulled the trigger that killed him and my mother. Did he notice or recognize the person who took their lives as they were walking back home after their weekly dinner date?

  Lucas says I can trust him, but what makes him different than any of the others? Everything. That’s precisely what’s making me question this judgment of mine. Lucas is nothing like any other. At all.

  Maybe I’m safe. Maybe I’m not. I’m struggling to believe trust will ever be the defining factor in life and death, though. Lucas wants to be the one to keep me safe, and once upon a time, my father and Lucas’s brother felt the same. Now they’re both gone. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the common denominator in that equation.