Forbidden Bastard

by Felicia Lynn

  “Elianna, I don’t want you to think I’m saying this is over, because I promise that’s not what I mean nor will I ever accept. You’ve always been a permanent fixture in my life. I just never in a million years expected it to be like this. We went from zero to sixty faster than any fired up Porsche and now we’re on traveling on these open roads with no fucking clue how to shift gears, much less have a map. All I’m saying is that maybe if we slow down and work through the basics we could have a chance. I’m sure you have things going on it your life that deserves your focus and I have some very important things I’ve dropped the ball on that I need to get in order. I’m trying really fucking hard here not screw things up with you, sunshine, but ninety percent of the things I know about you is information I learned second hand from brother. I want us to have a fighting chance, Elianna, but how is that possible if we don’t learn to be friends too.” I glance over at her and see her delicate fingers holding the matte black key, toying with it nervously as it hangs from the chain around her neck.

  “Sunshine, I’m not letting go and I really hope you’re not either. You deserve better than the commitment level I can offer right now, but if I can be honest. I wouldn’t be able to give you any less than everything because that’s the kind of power you have on me. The problem is there’ll be unintended consequences from all the shit I sacrifice for your time causing problems I don’t want us to deal with. In a perfect world I could deal with my responsibilities and still keep you close, but I’ve never lived in a perfect world. I can’t have it all because I’m incapable of giving a shit about anything that doesn’t pertain to you. As much as I enjoy being consumed by thoughts of Elianna Nicchi night and day, turning my back on all my other priorities that people count on me for isn’t the type of man I want to be anymore than it’s the type of man you’d ever give pieces of yourself to. I want you in my life, as a friend for right now if that’s possible for you, while we both mange our lives. It’ll also give you some time to decide for yourself if you want to be attached to me in bigger ways,” I finish, hoping I was convincing enough, but there’s no doubt my determination falters when I see her slump into the seat, still fidgeting with her necklace.

  I’m seconds away from pulling the car over and claiming her here on the side of the road, just to prove how much I need her. Someone is going to fucking pay for putting us in this situation.

  Protecting Elianna shouldn’t require me to cause her pain in the process. There has to be another way because this one isn’t going to cut it. Just as I’m taking my foot off the gas though, she speaks.

  “I get it, Lucas. It’s fine. You’ve been a part of my life since I took my first breath,” she says, sounding noncommittal. She pauses and then continues with resentment in her tone. “That doesn’t have to change if that’s where this thing between us is headed, but friendship means something to me. There are very few people in my life that I can label as a true friend, but there will never be another like your brother for me. If you’re thinking of stepping in as his replacement, it’s impossible. You might want to consider lowering your expectations if that’s what you’re picturing because it’s unrealistic,” she finishes in dazed exasperation. Fucking hell. Now I’m even more pissed at this situation, the family mentality and probably the whole fucking world too, along with Elianna’s current attitude.

  “Principessa, if there’s even a small part of you that thinks that’s what I’m looking for as an end result, not only have you forgotten the countless incredible hours I’ve spent buried deep inside you this week, but it’s possible you don’t know me very well either,” I shoot back, calling her attitude and then raising.

  It takes a large amount of willpower to restrain from pulling over for a needed reminder showing her exactly how different we are from any damn friendship she’s ever had. Since I’ve touched the places no other man has, I think it’s fair to say we’re always going to be more than just friends.

  “Exactly, Lucas. Finally! I was starting to wonder if you’d ever realize how little I do actually know and understand about you and your life. I’m not sure how you expect me to know anything that counts with that treasure trove of secrets you’re holding on tight to. You leave the biggest parts of yourself open to interpretation. So don’t be mad at me when I assume incorrectly. If you want me to know your intentions, it’ll take more than what you’ve offered. A lot of people would consider me to be smart. I can figure out some pretty complex stuff when I put my mind to it, but with you, I really hope there’s an idiots guide somewhere. You know what though, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine for only seeing the parts of you that I wanted, ignoring the warning bells, and even thinking about settling for the superficial expectations for a woman in the family,” she finishes, her voice hoarse with her frustration. I’m immediately branded with a punishment of overwhelming guilt and un-fucking-relenting regret.

  I wish I could argue my case and tell her she’s wrong about me, but she’s not. I’ve asked for a lot from her out of necessity to keep her safe, and she’s given it all. She has a right to feel bitter about this. A week ago, I was busting down this same door I’m now trying to pretty much close or leave cracked enough to still be visible and I’m doing that without any real explanation. Yeah, I’d be pissed at me too. I haven’t reciprocated by giving her anything other than my cock every chance I got. Even with that, she contributed so much fucking more of her, just to get what I was giving.

  La mia principessa. She’s had more heartache and struggles than she’s deserved, and now I’m adding to it. If I could stand to touch her for any length of time without the craving to stake my claim, I’d let her kick my ass, but since that won’t work I’ll have to settle for giving her other pieces of me. Hell, it’s the least I can do at this point.

  “Sunshine, you know better than most that there’s a lot of information I can’t give you, but with the other stuff, you’re right. I haven’t shown you any of my cards and that doesn’t make this a fair game. So let’s fix it. What do you want to know? If I can answer your questions, I will,” I offer, glancing over to find Eli instantly livened.

  “Okay. This is a change. I’m not sure where to start. Had I known I was going to have this chance I would’ve made a spreadsheet,” she says, with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

  “Elianna, do you have questions or not? One way or another we’re moving on and by the end of this car ride we’re going to be true friends, principessa,” I promise.

  “I know you have cameras at my house since you weren’t really trying to hide it when you told your men to get you the tapes. Where are they? Outside, inside or both?”

  “Let me be real clear on this one. If there’s a camera anywhere inside your house, I want to fucking know right away. I know for a fact you sometimes like to prance around in those tiny little things you call sleep shorts, which would be better named panties. Don’t even get me started on those paper thin tee shirts you wear with your not-shorts, that are tight enough for me to see the outline of your tits, the pebbles of your nipples, and depending on the color of the shirt your damn tit-flesh. I can guarantee anyone who would dare attempt to film or monitor inside your home, damn sure isn’t my men. Plus, you should already know it’s not me since I’m not much of a watcher type. Where you’re concerned especially, I’d prefer to be as hands on as possible. Only a dead man would put cameras inside the home of La mia principessa. Okay?”

  19

  - Business -

  Elianna

  “Wow. Those are some strong words for a man that’s only interested in a platonic relationship, but whatever. Next question, friend,” I say with a snarky edge.

  “Elianna,” Lucas warns growling, his tone critical, but I hold up hand and shake my head. Absolutely not going there.

  “Nope, too late, bestia. What’s done is done. Moving on. Tell me about the cameras. So they’re only outside, but are they being monitored?”

  “No, they’re not monitored, but if I feel they need to be, the
y will,” he declares nonchalantly. There’s no doubt Lucas is annoyed, and it’s highly probable that has a lot to do with my sass, but I think he also really hates being interrogated. Only I really don’t care right now. He can deal with it.

  “Am I also being followed, should I ever choose to walk out of my house?” I ask, trying to get the full picture.

  “Without any doubt,” he tells me, almost proudly. Ugh. As if stalking is something to take pride in.

  “Is that negotiable?” I ask, not hiding the slight smile of defiance.

  “Fuck no,” he blurts out, without consideration.

  “Hmmm . . . how would these negotiations work if I have this conversation with Tony instead of you?” Lucas stiffens at the mention of the challenge. Shocked, he take his eyes off the road and glowers at me for a second before turning back to watch the road.

  “Here’s the deal, principessa. If you aren’t being followed, there’s a problem and hopefully you’ll be smart enough to be concerned and notify me promptly. You can talk to whomever the fuck you want about that, sunshine, but I assure you, the terms aren’t changing,” he answers mockingly, tempering his anger with amusement.

  Well, at least now I know Tony is in on this. “Okay, so who are my stalkers going to be reporting to?” I ask with a dose of sarcasm.

  Lucas smirks. “Yours truly, principessa. I’m calling all those shots. And have no doubts, gorgeous. I’ll be monitoring that closely,” he says, sounding very sure of himself. Interesting. He’s still an asshole though.

  “Cool. Noted. You have time for the things pertaining to me that you can control. At least I know where I stand,” I state, annoyed, but force myself to settle down and not instigate an argument that will end this Q & A session.

  “I really don’t want to argue with you, so . . . new topic. What’s in the basement at the club? It’s heavily guarded, so that tells me it’s either illegal, dangerous, or illegal and dangerous.”

  Lucas hesitates for a moments and takes in a deep breath before releasing it with a sigh. “It’s a business, Elianna. One that isn’t opened to the public, nor advertised or spoken of outside the walls of it,” he informs, although it’s not really told me much. It must be illegal.

  “What’s the business? A brothel?” I ask, assuming I already know, but Lucas just laughs.

  “Nope. Not even close, sunshine, but that would’ve been a great guess under the circumstances,” he says, amused.

  “Okay . . . so what’s the business?” I ask, rebuffed. I can tell with his hesitation he’d hoped his vague response would be enough, but it’s not. He asked for his.

  “Elianna, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m going to anyway. I know if you don’t get a solid answer you’ll imagine the worst. If I’m going to be judged by you, I’d prefer you do it with the truth.” A part of my heart leaps with the knowledge that he cares about my opinion on him. However, I force myself not to lose sight of the present reality that Lucas doesn’t want me. I can’t betray my instincts this time.

  “It’s just a gaming room, Eli. It’s not legal in the eyes of the government, but it’s certainly not immoral or unethical in the big picture. We take a lot of caution with security and such because there’s a lot of money passing hands behind that door. We have to keep things safe,” Lucas explains. He’s right, it’s definitely not what I’d expected and I definitely would have imagined worse.

  “Oh . . . like a poker room?” I ask, feeling hopeful. Matteo and I used to play poker with a group of his guy friends. Over the years I’ve learned to hold on my own at the poker table. Although, I’ve been told my poker face leaves a lot to be desired. If I’m pissed, you’ll probably know it from just one look.

  “There’s a couple poker tables down there and in an effort to give full disclosure, I know you enjoy throwing your hand in games now and then. Matteo used to brag to me when you’d clean up at the cash games. He took a lot of pleasure in seeing grown men underestimate you and think you’d be easy to take. He knew they’d soon learn to regret that mistake. So yes, we have a couple poker tables down there, but we have some other games too. It’s not a small operation, but we keep it quiet. I’m sure you don’t need me to explain why.” With a quick glance at me, it appears he’s confident further explanation isn’t necessary.

  “Gotta be honest, sunshine. I’m not sure I could handle witnessing you in action after hearing some of the stories from your cash games. Just thinking about it right now is making my cock hard. So it’s safe to say I’ll need you to steer clear of the basement. There’s only so much I can handle where you’re concerned right now,” he unfairly admits, maneuvering the streets of Boston’s city limits in R8. I know we’re in my neighborhood now. Even though I’ve not spent enough time here to know the area. Things are beginning to look familiar.

  “Lucas, I have no interest in playing poker anytime soon, but even if I did, you don’t have a say in it. You can keep me from playing at your tables, but that’s it. Let me pull the Band-Aid off for you and remind you this was your choice. You put a stop to whatever was growing between us, not me.” We pull up in front of my brownstone and he puts the car in park and turns to me before turning off the engine. It’s almost too challenging to think straight under his heavy scrutiny, but I can’t. “You don’t want me, but you want more from me? I don’t think so, beastie. That’s not fair and you know it. We made memories I couldn’t forget if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. That’s enough for me. It needs to be for you too, Lucas.”

  “Eli