To Be An Israeli: The Fourth Book in the All My Love, Detrick series

by Roberta Kagan

  After what seemed like an hour, he reached up and took her face into his hands and brought her head close to his own. Before pressing his lips upon hers, he fixed his gaze on her eyes. Janice felt that she was looking directly into his soul, his feelings and everything that he was lay within the depths of his eyes.

  Then tenderly, he let his lips brush hers. She let out a sigh. Lucas brought her to him closer and kissed her. With one hand, he unclasped her bra. She felt his naked chest press against her own. The connection between them was so strong that their breath coordinated itself in sequence together. It seemed to Janice that time had stopped as he moved his lips slowly over her body, removing the rest of her clothing as he did. When he finally entered her, she felt as if she found something that she never knew was missing from her life.

  Their bodies moved together. She could not think, only feel. Her body was alive with sensations. He moved slowly, watching until he knew she was ready, and then they climaxed together. It was like nothing Janice had ever felt before. A smile came over her face. Even though she’d been with many men, she decided that until she’d made love with Lucas, she’d been a virgin.

  After they made love, Janice and Lucas lay together. The music had stopped, and all they could hear were the birds chirping outside and the needle skipping on the end of the record album. For the first time in her life, Janice felt at peace.

  CHAPTER 54

  “You’re bringing some guy home to meet us, and he’s not even Jewish? Janice, your father is going to go crazy. You just got out of a terrible marriage. Now, you’ve found some guy who is a karate teacher? Come on, Janice. We sent you to an expensive, private university so you could meet an accountant, a doctor, a lawyer, and this is what you come up with? Oy vey, didn’t you have enough trouble with the situation you got yourself into in Israel?”

  Frances Lichtenstein was sitting on the sofa glaring at her daughter. Janice had always given them so much trouble. Frances and her husband had hoped that when the marriage to Elan failed in Israel, Janice would finally grow up. However, it seemed as if she’d only gotten worse. To add to the problems, she now had a child to think of. But it didn’t seem to Mrs. Lichtenstein that Janice gave much thought to anything.

  “Mom, he’s a great guy. I want you and Dad to give him a chance,” Janice said with her arms folded across her chest. In the other room, Bari Lynn was crying. Violet rushed in to pick her up and give her a bottle.

  “You just don’t learn. You are so stubborn. This man makes a living teaching karate? How much money can he possibly make? He can’t afford to support you. You have a child to think about, you know.”

  “I am going to talk to Dad about this when he gets home from work tonight. I want to invite Lucas over to the house this weekend.”

  Frances Lichtenstein shook her head and walked out of the room. Janice sighed with frustration and went into the baby’s room to help Violet.

  That night, when Janice told her father that she was bringing a man home to meet them, at first he was interested. But when she told him a little about Lucas, he was furious. “Where did you find this guy? Why didn’t you meet someone at school? For God’s sake, Janice, this is another potential divorce.”

  “Did I say I was getting married?”

  “Why are you getting involved with a weirdo who has no money, no education? Janice, what the hell is the matter with you?”

  “He’s not a weirdo. He’s a great guy.”

  “Come on, he has no real profession. He teaches karate, Janice? Karate? Does he know you come from money? Is that maybe why he’s so interested in you?”

  “Dad, don’t you think someone could like me for who I am? Do you think I’m so worthless that nobody could love me for being me?”

  “Stop being a child. Money means a lot, especially to a man who has no profession, no education, nothing—a karate teacher. Janice, what am I going to do with you?”

  “He’s coming on Sunday. And that’s all I have to say,” Janice said and walked out of the room.

  That Sunday was a perfect example of Indian summer. It was late-September, and the sky was blue, the weather unusually warm for that time of year. The ground was a blanket of color from the leaves that had begun to fall. Lucas arrived a little before noon with a small book for Janice and a basket of fruit for her mother.

  “Mom, this is Lucas.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said.

  “Dad, Lucas.”

  Her father nodded.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Lichtenstein.”

  Any conversation was stifled until Bari Lynn got up from her nap, and Violet brought her into the living room to feed her. Bari Lynn was fussy. The family decided that she must be cutting a tooth because she’d been crying for the last several days. As soon as Lucas saw the baby for the first time, he asked if he could hold her. Janice said, “Sure.”

  He took the child gently from Violet’s arms and held her close to his chest. Then he began to rock her and sing softly. Bari Lynn grew quiet, but her eyes were wide. Then she broke a smile, and Lucas returned one of his own. Janice was surprised to see the ease with which Lucas handled the baby. She caught a glimpse of her mother and knew that her mother was able to see what she saw in Lucas.

  By the end of the day, Janice’s parents had, by some miracle, come to accept Lucas, perhaps even like him. He was helpful in every way. In fact, even though he did not eat meat and Janice knew that the very sight of it sickened him, he helped her father with the barbecue. Like Lucas, she was a vegetarian, but Janice wasn’t sickened by the sight of meat. She just ate the salad, grilled corn, and baked potatoes.

  It was obvious to Janice how different she and Lucas were. She was strong-willed and determined, and he, well, as he put it was willing to bend. Once during a disagreement, when she’d been furious, he’d recited a quote that quieted her down almost immediately.

  He said, “In a storm, the oak tree will break because it is rigid, but the palm will sway and bend and therefore will survive the storm.”

  He never argued. In fact, when she became difficult and wanted her own way, he would just come up very close to her, so close that she could smell the scent of the incense that lingered on his body. Then even as she pouted or argued, he would take her into his arms and hold her until the anger melted from her like an ice cream cone on a summer day. Then she too melted into his arms. And so it was that Janice fell in love with Lucas.

  Janice was naturally high-strung. Everything seemed to put her on edge. At Lucas’ suggestion, she took classes in meditation at the studio. It helped her to calm her headstrong ways. She learned to listen. She became less abrupt, more gentle, more understanding, and in most cases, more honest.

  However, Janice was still adamant that Bari Lynn could never know anything about her real father. She insisted that Bari Lynn grow up believing that Elan had died in Vietnam. It was best that way. If Bari knew about her father, she might want to meet him when she grew up, and Janice wanted Elan to stay buried in the past. She and her daughter had a new life now, and Janice was not about to let Elan make a mess of things again. Lucas didn’t agree, but he respected her wishes.

  Janice had a strong mind, unwavering opinions, and loved to have long, intellectual discussions with Lucas. They talked about everything from music to politics. In the middle of a heated discussion, Lucas would sometimes get a special look on his face as if he were seeing an angel. Then he would just stop speaking, stare at her, a smile would come over his face, and he would gently kiss her.

  Janice brought up marriage several times. However, Lucas said he didn’t need a piece of paper to legitimize his feelings. She didn’t worry too much about his choice because she was still in school, and it was easier to live at home with her parents and have Violet’s help with Bari Lynn. However, in the spring when Lucas received his draft notice and his number was up, Janice became frantic.

  “Oh, my God, they’ll send you to ’Nam.”

  “
I’m going to go to Canada. Do you want to come with me?”

  “I can’t, I have to finish school.”

  “So you’ll come when you’ve finished?”

  Janice wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Perhaps she’d been deluding herself. What had made her believe that Lucas loved her? He’d never even said that he did. She turned away from him, not wanting him to see the tears welling up in her eyes.

  “What is it? You don’t want me to go?”

  “It will be at least two years before I see you again. That is, unless I go and visit you.” She huffed. He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away. “You know, Lucas…”

  She looked at him, really studied him. Lucas stood there, his hands at his sides, a puzzled look on his face. He seemed like a lost little boy that didn’t understand what she was saying.

  “I don’t even really know how you feel about me…I mean, you’ve never really said…”

  He walked toward her, his arms open to take her inside. She did not come to him as she usually did, so he did not force his embrace upon her.

  “I haven’t said the words, but I thought you knew…” He took her hand in his and kissed it. She let him hold her hand for a minute then withdrew it. He took her chin gently in his palm and then turned her face up to look at his. There was no trace of deception in his eyes. “I love you, Janice. I love you.”

  He said it so simply, so naturally.

  “I love you, too, Lucas.”

  He smiled and kissed her hand again.

  “I know you should be the one to propose. But, well…since you got this draft card… I mean, I know that papers don’t mean anything to you, but…”

  “Do you want to get married? I’ll propose. You don’t have to ask me.”

  “Yes, but I wish it wasn’t only because you were being drafted. For God’s sake, Luke, you just don’t understand.” She started crying.

  He looked at her completely dumbfounded. “What is it, Janice? What’s wrong with you? I mean, there is no guarantee that our being married and you having a child will keep me out of ’Nam. It might, and we can try.”

  “I pray that it does, but you see I want you to want to be my husband. Every little girl has a dream of how her future husband will propose. And let me tell you, this was not how I imagined it.”

  “Listen, Janice, please listen…the draft is the reason for the official paperwork, okay? But it isn’t the reason I want to share my life with you. As soon as I fell in love with you, in my heart, we were married. I was planning to spend the future together whether we had the official papers or not.”

  She smiled through her tears. “Say it again.”

  “What?”

  “Luke, don’t be clueless. Tell me that you love me.”

  “I love you. I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me, Janice? Please be my wife.”

  He loved her. She knew he did, but just hearing the words spoken made her want to jump up and down with joy. She was trembling in his arms now. “Yes, yes, I’ll marry you.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how you could have ever doubted my love for you,” he said.

  “A simple wedding? Just a few friends and family?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he said. “Yes, that sounds good.”

  “Where are you from? You know, I’ve never even asked you about your family.”

  “I’m an orphan. I grew up in foster homes. I have no family. But now, I will. I’ll have you and Bari. We’ll be a family.”

  CHAPTER 55

  They told her parents that they planned to marry. Her parents stared at them.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to get to know each other a little better before you jump into this?” her mother said.

  “I’m sure, Mom.”

  “Janice, you’re impossible…”

  “I know what I’m doing. We are in love. We’ll be happy.”

  Her father didn’t say a word. He bit his upper lip and his brow furrowed as he stared out the window and listened to the baby crying in the next room. There was no use arguing with his headstrong daughter, but he had an idea.

  One afternoon, a week later, when he was sure Janice would be at school, her father called Lucas at the karate studio.

  “I’d like to talk to you. Would you be willing to meet me for lunch? My treat?” Mr. Lichtenstein said.

  Lucas cleared his throat. “Yes. Sure, I’ll meet you.”

  They agreed to meet at a coffee shop that served sandwiches and salads and was not far from Lucas’ studio.

  Ronald Lichtenstein watched Lucas eat his salad. He was quiet for several moments.

  “I know you asked me here for a reason. We may as well get started talking about whatever it is that you want to talk about,” Lucas said.

  “Yes, I did ask you here for a specific reason. I think you know how much Janice means to her mother and me.”

  “Of course, I do. She means a lot to me, too.”

  “And…I’m sure that you can see a lot of things. You know what I mean?”

  “Not really…”

  “Well, by the size of our house and the kinds of cars we drive…I know you’re not stupid, so you can see that we have some money.”

  “Yes, I guess you do.”

  “Listen, if it’s money you’re after, I’d rather write you a check right now and have you get out of my daughter’s life than for her to be hurt later. She’s been through a lot, Lucas. I’d rather just give you some cash and send you on your way. That way, you’d have what you want, and she would never have to know what happened.”

  “You think I want your money?” Lucas almost choked. Then he shook his head and laughed. “Money means nothing to me. I don’t care about it at all. I have all that I need, and I’m a happy man. I love Janice. I don’t care where she came from.

  I love that she’s short and spunky and outspoken, and she makes me laugh. I love her fiery red hair that matches her fiery convictions. I love the way that she can make a strong point in a conversation. I love her passion and her artistic sensitivity, but I sure as hell don’t love her money. Listen. Don’t give us anything—ever. We’ll make it on our own. I don’t want anything from you except maybe your blessing, if you can find it in your heart, to give it freely.”

  “Is this about the draft? Because I have friends. I know people. I can get you out of Vietnam.”

  “Do you think so little of your daughter that you would believe that I couldn’t love her for who she is? I don’t want anything but her love. And as far as the draft is concerned, I was prepared to go to Canada. I don’t want your money or your favors. I’m marrying a woman who I love because I love her, and for no other reason at all.”

  Lucas took two bills from his pocket, threw them on the table, and walked out, leaving Ronald Lichtenstein shocked but, in a strange way, reassured. At that moment, Ronald Lichtenstein decided that he would go back to his office and pull some strings. Lucas wasn’t perfect, but he was good for Janice, and he truly loved her. And for that reason, Ronald Lichtenstein would see to it that Lucas never set foot in Southeast Asia.

  CHAPTER 56

  Janice’s parents were having dinner alone one night outside on the porch. Violet was caring for the baby, and the house was quiet. Across the road, a dog was barking softly, and there was a cool breeze in the air.

  “Janice is hell-bent on getting married again. I think it’s too soon,” Mrs. Lichtenstein said.

  “Yeah…Janice…so headstrong. The only thing I am disappointed in is that he isn’t Jewish. Otherwise, truth be told, he’s not a bad fellow.”

  “Her last husband was Jewish, and that didn’t end so well,” her mother said.

  “It’s just hard for me to accept that she’s marrying a goy, that’s all. This isn’t what I was hoping for. But you know, Frances, I believe that boy really loves her.”

  “I agree with you, Ron. You’ve always been a good judge of people.”

  “Well, I sure knew that Elan was n
o good, right from the beginning.”

  “Yes, you did know that,” Frances said.

  “He doesn’t have much to offer: no college, no profession, and no money. I don’t know…” her father said, shaking his head, then he lit a cigar. “Well, you know Janice. She’s a lot like me, I guess. And she’s going to do what she wants anyway. At least they’ll be living here in the U.S. We’ll see her and Bari all the time. It could be worse. Elan was Jewish, but he took her to live all the way across the world in a country that was full of constant unrest. Now that was terrible.”

  “She’s going to live in the back of a karate studio. That’s pretty bad. I can’t believe it,” her mother said.

  “I know, we always gave her the best of everything, and, for some reason, she always seemed to end up with dreck, trash. Remember that sweet sixteen party we threw for her? It cost me a small fortune.”

  “Yes, how could I forget? She wanted the best of everything at that party: the food, the music, the entertainment. Oy. But still, Ron, don’t call Lucas “dreck”. He’s going to be our son-in-law, and you said yourself that he does love her.”

  “Yes, they act like kids right now, but they’ll grow up together, and then…later, with a little help from us, we can make sure that they’ll have a good life. We’ll wait a couple of years to be sure it’s gonna last, and then we’ll give them a down payment on a house. It will be all right. At least he treats her well. And I’ll make sure Janice and Bari never want for anything, even if I have to do it without Lucas knowing that the help is coming from me.”

  “Yes, and I guess this Lucas fellow is a pretty nice guy even though he has nothing to offer,” she agreed.

  Ronald patted Frances’ shoulder then shrugged. “Oh well, we’ll make the best of it even if it isn’t what we had hoped for her.”

  ***

  Janice and Lucas were married on a Monday morning in a civil ceremony in the downtown Chicago office of the Justice of the Peace. She wore a simple beige dress, and he wore a pair of black slacks and a white cotton button-down shirt. Afterward, they went to a Chinese restaurant and had lunch. Janice’s parents drove all five of them because they didn’t feel it was suitable for the couple to ride the motorcycle. Janice’s mother sat in the back seat holding Bari Lynn with Janice beside her while Lucas sat in the front with Janice’s father.