Dauntless

by Thomas G. Atwood Jr.

  “What? What the hell are you trying to show me?” I shouted at the creature, but it continued its manic laughter as it pointed down the path. “What kind of game are you trying to play? Answer me!”

  Laughter greeted me as the figure loomed, continuing to point down the path. I grimaced and strolled through the forest. The cold pierced through me like a knife, and I pulled my coat in tighter, curious about where the path would lead me.

  “Alright Kacey, remember to tie the laces on your skates extra tight,” a familiar voice said in the distance. My heart caught in my throat as I raced down the path.

  “I know, Mom,” another voice sounded in a snotty tone.

  “And make sure not to go out too far, the ice is thin and…”

  “I know, Mom!”

  “Mom?” I asked, confused as I saw her get out of the car. She looked like I remembered her, the same way I saw her every time I closed my eyes. Red hair gleamed like fire in the night. Her eyes looked the size of dinner plates from behind her coke bottle glasses. I grinned at the memory. I always made fun of her for them. She moved to the side, and I saw myself, a broad smile revealing a mouth filled with braces. Memories flooded through me in an instant, and I sprinted away. The hooded figure stood in my path, barring my way.

  “No,” I whispered to it. “You can’t make me watch this. I can’t.” The figure continued to laugh, and I watched as my younger self skate onto the middle of the lake. The ice groaned like a wounded beast, and Mom glanced up.

  “It’s too late,” I said, rushing to her side. “You’re not going to get there in time.” Mom dropped the remaining gear, rushing off to the ice as Dad emerged from the car. He shouted after her, but Mom ignored him. “Dammit Mom, listen to me!”

  “No!” I screamed in despair, watching as my mom threw off her jacket and dove in after me. Dad screamed in terror and ran out to the hole in the ice. Dad looked on in horror at the pitch black waters, until a few seconds later Mom burst up, setting me back on the ice. I sunk to my knees, racked with sobs as Mom fell back into the water, her outstretched hand the last thing I saw.

  The world froze like a bad movie and skipped back, so I watched my mom jump into the ice. I watched her die, again and again, seeing the terror in her eyes as she slipped below the water. I watched the water bubble time after time until she breathed her last. I grasped her arm and howled in rage and frustration as it phased through her. I dove into the water after her, but each time I found myself standing on the surface of the ice, watching her die again. I did everything I could imagine to save her, but each time I failed. I’d stand on the edge of the ice and watch her collapse into the pitch black water.

  “Poor Kacey. No matter how hard you try, you still let your mommy die,” a mocking voice said. I searched and saw my mom standing behind me, rubbing her hands together. “I can never understand why you wanted to go out on such a dismal day.”

  “Mom?” I asked, confused.

  “Yes.”

  “Mom? Is…is that you?”

  “Of course it is,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Although I don’t think calling me ‘Mom’ is appropriate. Lord knows you’re not my kid.” I rushed over to her, wrapping her in a bear hug as she gazed down at me in contempt.

  “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you.” Tears flowed down my face as I looked back up at her. “Are you real?”

  “As far as I know.”

  “It's incredible,” I said, excitement surging through me as I grabbed her arm. I tugged at her arm, trying to pull her back to the edge of the forest.

  "Come on," I said, beaming. "We'll head back home, and everything will be great."

  “Why on earth would I do that?” she stated, pulling her arm from me.

  “Dad’s back there; we could go back. We could be a family again.”

  “Your father. Well, my husband. He wasn’t your father, was he?” Mom scoffed, brushing the snow off her jacket. “You were a horrible child. We risked our lives to save you, and how do you repay us? Going out all night, getting in trouble, doing God knows what with that Aidan boy.” She sneered, looking down at me. “My ‘daughter’ the slut.”

  “What?” My eyes went wide, and my mouth hung open. Each word was a dagger in my heart as I struggled to understand what she was saying, or why.

  “You heard me. I had a simpering coward for a husband and a useless freak of a daughter. He stood by and did nothing as I drowned, and you...” She shook her head in disdain. “Well if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have died, would I?” I reeled back as if she’d slapped me, tears welling in my eyes as I listened to her. “Oh please, don’t cry. That’s pathetic.”

  “Why are you saying this? Mom, what’s wrong with you?”

  “What’s wrong with me? I’m dead, dear. You of all people should know that seeing as how you killed me.”

  “I didn’t!”

  “Of course you did. You know it better than anyone. You screwed up, and I died as a result. I should have left you behind. If I had left you in your charming mother’s hands, I would still be alive, and you’d still be the disappointment you’ve always been. But no, I had a soft-hearted moment, and I paid for it.”

  “Shut up. You’re not my mom,” I said, snarling at her.

  “Of course I am, darling.”

  “My mom would never say any of that to me.”

  “Are you sure? Are you so sure? You remember what it was like down there, don’t you? How the cold would dig into you, freezing every inch of your body. You remember how the dark of the water made it impossible to see. You remember the icy cold piercing your body, making it impossible to move. The difference is you had someone to save you. I didn’t have that. You killed me.”

  “I didn’t kill you,” I stated, watching as her face grew more and more twisted in rage.

  “Liar! You left me to die!” Mom rushed over to me, tackling me with a ferocious snarl on her face. Her hands wrapped around my throat, putting crushing pressure on my throat. I gasped, clawing at her fingers, desperate to pull them off me. My instincts screamed at me to strike her, but I couldn’t do it. The face of my mom stared back at me, and I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her.

  “It will all be over soon. All your guilt and pain. I’ll fix the mistake we both made all those years ago.”

  “This isn’t you.”

  “Of course it’s me. I kill freaks all the time.”

  “No it wasn’t, and I didn’t kill you.” For the first time, the words made sense. My mother wasn’t this twisted killer. She was the woman who saved me. The woman who made sure I was okay, even when a snotty teenager was yelling at her. She listened to all my problems, laughed at my jokes, and spent every day focused on me. For the first time in my life, I realized that my mother didn’t hate me for being a mage. She loved me to the point that she gave her life to save me. Blaming myself cheapened that sacrifice. It wasn’t my fault. She chose to save me.

  I pried my mom’s fingers from my throat and pushed her away. She stumbled and slid over the ice, falling into the hole and sticking her arm out in a silent plea. The crack in the ice began to spread, and a gleaming golden light erupted from it. The cackling specter emerged, and I waved it away.

  “Right, you win.” I jumped into the golden pillar, uncertain about what would appear in the next trial.

  Chapter 20

  I fell, landing in the middle of a jungle clearing. Verdant green was everywhere. From the emerald color of the vines crawling up the trees to the spear-like grass that jutted from the ground. I parted the foliage and gasped at what I saw. A massive hurricane split the skies with torrential rain. In the distance with a swirling tornado devastating the ground undern
eath. A volcano towered over the trees, spewing hot, gray ash. As I gazed to the south, an earthquake split the land open, swallowing anything caught in its path.

  As I struggled to make sense of the weather, the grass rustled around me. In minutes, every animal I’d ever seen emerged. A squirrel rushed up my shoulder, chattering away at me before vanishing into the distance. Rhinos, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my, emerged just to turn their nose up at me and disappear back into the brush. One by one the animals disappeared, causing me to groan in frustration. The earthquake silenced, the hurricane settled, and even the volcano vanished before my eyes.

  “Come on, I always wanted to pet a lion!” I tapped my feet as I walked him walk away. The lion stopped, cocking his head as if he understood. The animal sat on his haunches, jerking his head in my direction. I rubbed the back of the creature’s lush mane, and it nodded before disappearing.

  “Cool, thanks,” I said as the animal vanished. I threw my hands up in frustration, groaning as I walked along the clearing. “Well, this has been a massive waste of my time.”

  A loud squawk erupted, interrupting my whining. I looked into the distance and found a raven standing on a tree branch. It cocked its head at me, giving me a curious gaze.

  “Hey,” I said, waving at the bird. It fluttered to the ground in front of me. It continued to peer at me, hopping around me as it stared. It held out a single wing, pointing in the direction of a path. “You want me to follow you?”

  The creature nodded, which freaked me out, and I followed it as it flew down the path. The bird flew, gliding between tree branches and vines with grace. I struggled to keep up. I jogged along to follow it, but no matter how long I ran, I was never tired. The sun rose and set countless times as we trekked through the jungle. We passed crystal clear lakes, curious animals, and predators that snarled their displeasure as we walked past. I didn’t grow hungry, tired, and never needed a second of rest or sleep.

  We raced into a series of old ruins. White marble columns had succumbed to the ravages of time. Dust and dirt caked the few that remained, with strands of ivy crawling across it like spider webs. Collapsed huts lay in tatters on the ground, splintered, and rotten wood splayed everywhere. The only artwork intact was an ivory statue of a man holding a scythe in the middle of the ruins. He seemed to gaze at the surroundings; a scowl etched on his face. The raven flew to the base of the statue and exploded in a puff of smoke, its feathers forming a black cloud.

  A woman rose from the ground where the bird was. She had a pale white gown with a collar of black raven feathers framing her neck. Her skin was as pale as a ghost yet seemed to glow in the light of the forest. Scarlet hair trailed down her neck, winding around her like a scarf, and purple eyes gazed at me, an amused grin on her face as she walked toward me.

  “Welcome,” she said, her voice flat and calm yet ringing with authority. She glanced at the dirt, and a magnificent ivory throne burst from the ground. She lay back in her chair, cradling her head in her hand as she watched me.

  “Um, hi. How are you?” I said, my eyes growing wide at the sight of her.

  “Better than you, I’d surmise.”

  “Yeah, it’s been one hell of a trip.”

  “I apologize for any inconvenience. May I offer you anything? Coffee? Tea?”

  “If you’re offering, I would kill for a can of soda.” The woman’s smile went wide, and my face paled as I realized what I said. “Oh God, I don’t have to kill someone for a soda, do I?”

  “No,” she said, chuckling. A glass bottle appeared on a stump in front of her, ice sliding off the sides. I popped off the cap and took a sip of the ice-cold liquid as she cocked her head at me. “I expected you to be more surprised at the sight of me.”

  “I’ve grown numb to the whole earth-shattering surprises thing. Who are you?”

  “Well, it’s simple. I am Entropy. I am Death. I am the end.” I choked on the sip of soda I was working on, sputtering as I backed away.

  “What?” I struggled to get out.

  “You heard me.”

  “Wouldn’t that make you evil?”

  The woman scoffed. “Humans,” she said in derision. “You see existence in terms of your twisted dichotomy. Right or wrong, black or white, good or evil, even the men who hold power in your world belongs to one of two groups. I am not so simple. I am not so neat. I hunt down the noble and the wicked, the philanthropist and the criminal. Sooner or later I give all men my gift.”

  “Gift?” I rolled my eyes at her statement. “Death’s not a gift. It’s horrible.”

  “Is that so? Tell me, where would Rome be if Attila had not met his end? Where would Russia be if not for Rasputin’s death? Where would this world be if Hitler and Mussolini were immortals?” I scowled at her as she continued. “You come to me with the power to save your world. How will you save it? Will you sit down in negotiation with people who want nothing more than to end your life? Or will you give them fate they deserve.”

  “I’m not in this to kill people,” I returned, rubbing my forehead. “I’m trying to protect everyone.”

  “Those two are mutually exclusive. You cannot create without destroying, and you cannot protect someone unless you are willing to kill their assassin. A fact you should well know. Tell me, how is your decision to spare Drake working out?”

  “I showed mercy,” I grumbled.

  “Mercy is noble, even laudable if there is a chance that the person can bring themselves around. But when a person has taken one too many steps down the road to hell, then there is no going back. Showing mercy to them causes their victims to accumulate. Ending the threat is a far greater mercy.”

  “I didn’t come for a philosophy lesson.”

  “Then why did you come? To save your friend? How do you expect to do that without the will to act?”

  “You’re not wrong.” I set the glass on the stump, and it refilled as I watched. “Handy. So how does this work?”

  “This?”

  “The whole reason I’m here. You give me power and I, what? Do whatever you say?”

  “I am no slave owner. I will leave you to your own devices. I can, and will advise you and give you my recommended course of action, but in the end, the choice is yours.”

  “Why? Don’t get me wrong; I’d be grateful for your help, but I thought you weren’t good or evil. Why would you side with me?”

  “What makes you think I haven’t given my power to someone you view as evil?” The woman said, grinning at me. “The world has its order. People should not die before their time, nor should they stay after the appointed hour. Villains send others to the grave before their time, just to satisfy their selfish wants and desires. You have no love for them, nor do you hold onto life with the same grip as others. This amuses me. The others have rejected you due to your way of thinking. Lion, Tiger, Wolf, they all demand honorable combat. Man vs. man, army vs. army, all in the pedantic name of honor. I chose you because you and I share the same way of thinking. Honorable combat is a lie. It does not matter which means you use to end a threat. It matters that the man or woman threatening you is a corpse.”

  “Swell. So what do I call you? I mean…you don’t have a pale horse running around do you? You’re not the Death, are you? Black hood, rides a pale horse, all of that?”

  “Raven will suffice.”

  “Great. So how do I do this?”

  “You have one more test. Two people arrived, and one can leave.”

  “Two people?”

  “The girl who thinks of little more than her grief, her problems, and shies away from anything that frightens her. The warrior who faced down a vampire without blinking, who risked her life to save her friend, and is rea
dy to face torture and death to free her. One must die so that the other may live.” She beckoned me with a single finger, and I walked down the path. Raven handed me an iron bowl as we walked. Inside a knife gleamed, it’s hilt decorated with dozens of precious gems. A key sat beside it created from a solid block of silver. We came to a stop, and I gasped in shock as I saw someone who looked like me chained to the ground, kneeling as she struggled to free herself. She glared up at me with my doe colored eyes, raven hair, and the same expression of fierce defiance.

  “You’ve earned a choice. You can free yourself, and leave as the unremarkable woman you have been. You can continue to live a life of tedium and mediocrity. Or you can kill the girl and become the woman. I will transform you into a warrior who will hold the line against the darkness, who will be a hero to thousands. I await your decision,” she stated, vanishing into a pile of feathers.”

  “Hey,” I said, approaching…myself I guess and setting the iron bowl on a hunk of stone.

  “Hey,” Kacey said in return. “You know, I never thought I’d try chains until Aidan and I had been dating for at least a year. And I’d be on the other end. You know what, forget I said anything.”

  I laughed. “You’re funny.”

  “Thanks. I don’t suppose I’m funny enough for you to let me go?”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” I returned.

  “Okay. So a priest, a rabbi, and a ninja walk into a bar…”

  “You’re scared,” I said.

  “We’re scared,” Kacey corrected. “I know what you’re thinking.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Because I am you. A part of you or something. This is confusing. Do me a favor and have Kat sort it out when you get back. All this hurts my brain more than the time we broke into Mom’s liquor cabinet.”