Dauntless

by Thomas G. Atwood Jr.

  “They do,” I admitted, rubbing my arms.

  “What is it?”

  “She didn’t tell me,” I lied. “She says she’s going to wait until this is all over to tell me the price.”

  “So you gave her a blank check?” Kat asked, running her hands through her hair. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I was thinking that my boyfriend was dying, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

  “That’s… that’s noble, Kacey. But did you stop to think for a second how Aidan will feel? What if it costs you your life? Aidan, your father and I will have to bury you. Did you think for a second what that would do to us?”

  “I…”

  “You know,” Kat said, letting out a long, slow breath. “I’ve gotten to know you well over these last few weeks, and vice versa. I thought you viewed me as a friend…”

  “I do!”

  “So that’s why you’re making a friend of yours sit back, helpless, as you sell yourself down the river. Be honest with me. Were you thinking of Aidan when you made this deal or were you thinking of yourself?” I couldn’t answer, and Kat held her hand up. “I have some clothes in the van that should fit Aidan.”

  “I can help.”

  “No, you stay in the hospital. I don’t…I need some space.” Kat stormed off, bumping into Ripper. She didn’t stop to say anything as the large man blinked at her. He blinked and walked over to me, a tray of donuts in his hand.

  “What’s up with her?” he asked, cocking his head at me.

  “I did something stupid,” I grumbled.

  “What else is new?” he asked, opening the container. “Donut?”

  “Hell yes,” I said, my stomach rumbling as I grabbed one. Ripper craned his head and peeked into Aidan’s room, seeing him groan at the torn remains of his shirt.

  “So the kid’s all right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yup. So I found out Drake’s plans,” I said, trying to change the subject.

  “Do I want to know how you did that?” he asked, taking a huge bite out of a donut.

  “No,” I admitted.

  “Okay,” Ripper said.

  “Just like that?”

  “Yes. You’re an adult and a Sentinel. If there’s something you need to tell me, I trust you to let me know.” The words drove into my chest like a dagger, and I gave him an awkward smile as we ate together. “So I’ll get the finer details later, but what do we need?”

  “Laurie.”

  Ripper grumbled. “I have been a Sentinel for almost three decades, and I have never relied on regular humans to this extent.”

  “It’s a brave new world.”

  “So it would seem. So what does the girl need to do?”

  “She can cure the monsters or something.”

  “That would be one hell of a trick,” he admitted as Kat stormed back with a pile of clothes in her hands. “Come on, let’s get everyone back together and get to The Mansion.”

  Chapter 28

  We all filed out of the car with Aidan telling jokes and laughing between bites of a giant burger. I grinned as he did, but Kat’s question continued to weigh on my mind. I couldn’t think of a straight answer. I loved Aidan, and I couldn’t even imagine a life without him. He was my best friend, and the thought of him lying in that hospital bed felt like bile in my throat. He wouldn’t have wanted this, a voice in the back of my head said. It would horrify Aidan if he learned you sold yourself for him. I did my best to sweep the thought aside. Frank walked down the stairs and over to us as Aidan offered him a container of fries. He grinned and walked over to me.

  “How’s Laurie?”

  “Her body is fine. Her mind is another story,” he let out a quiet sigh as he shook his head. “I tried to see if I could get some of her family down to see her, but…”

  “Yeah, let me guess. Her mom told you to call ‘the bastard she chose instead of me’ and the dad said he couldn’t get away from DC but ‘his heart and prayers are with her.’ That’s the reason she spent time with us.”

  “Yeah, they’re a real piece of work,” Frank admitted. “She needs someone to sit with her, to connect with her in a way I can’t. I’ve never been through anything like that, and a young girl can’t relate to the troubles I’ve faced.”

  “I hear you. I’ll talk with her.”

  “That is a terrible idea. She blames you and Aidan for all this. She’s not going to welcome your company.”

  “She’s my friend. She needs me.”

  “Kid, I know you mean well, but your friend died the second Drake and his cronies cut into her.”

  “That’s not true. Laurie’s stronger than that. She has to be in there. Besides, we need her help.”

  “I take it we didn’t take down Drake and Morrigan,” Frank asked, scowling.

  “Nope, but we’re still in this. With Laurie’s help, we still stand a chance.”

  Frank stepped out of my way as I walked up the stairs to Laurie’s room. I took a breath as I knocked on the large wooden door.

  “Come in,” Laurie’s dull, flat voice returned. I opened the door to find her sitting at a cherry-red desk, staring at the reflection in the mirror. The cracked and broken mirror sat on the wall, and a chipped statue rolled onto the floor. She stared at herself in the remnants, running her hands over her collection of oozing wounds.

  “Kacey,” Laurie said.

  “Hey, how are you?” I asked. She ignored the question, continuing to stare at her face. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she gazed at the reflection. “I’m not sure how to say this next part…” I started.

  “Do you remember when we were thirteen?” Laurie asked, her voice cold and bitter. “When we would hang out at the park and fantasize about being cowboys, astronauts and all that. You told me how you wanted to be the next Joan Jett, rocking across the country and singing for some great band.”

  “Yeah, I remember,” I said, walking over to the plush bed near her and sitting down.

  “Do you remember what I said I wanted to be?”

  “We shouldn’t be going through this. You’re still adjusting to everything, and…”

  “Say it.”

  “Come on, Laurie.”

  “Say it!” she screamed, her voice high and insistent.

  “You wanted to be a model,” I said, hanging my head low.

  “That’s right. Of course, that was before I became interested in science and realized that I enjoyed it. Still, I used to flip through the magazines and think ‘hey, I’m as pretty as her. Maybe I could have stood a shot.’ Look at me. I’m a monster.”

  “You’re not a monster,” I protested.

  “Yes, I am. I’m a scarred, twisted monstrosity. No university or lab would hire me. Why would they want to see this every day? Why would they want someone who can’t stop crying? Or someone who screams when she closes her eyes, imagining a man with a knife running after her? You stole my entire life. I have no future.”

  “Yes, you do,” I promised, setting my hand on her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

  “No, it won’t. Do you know what it’s like to for someone to ask questions that you don’t know the answer to, only for him to break your fingers each time you give an honest answer? I can’t use them,” she said, staring down at her twisted and gnarled hands in their splint. “That was the beginning of what they did to me. They’d tear off my clothes and toss me into a pit, laugh at me, mock me, and made to pose for the horrible people there.”

  “God. I am so sorry Laurie. I can’t even imagine
.”

  “No. You can’t. It’s all because of you. You and those creatures like you. I want you to leave.”

  I rubbed my fingers together as I stared at the floor. “I’ll leave if you want. But I need a favor, Laurie.”

  Laurie let out a bark of a laugh. “You do this to me, and you have the nerve to ask for a favor?”

  “I know I have no right to ask, but I’m asking. We need you to come up with a cure for what Drake did to those people.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Laurie, I know you hate me…”

  “I do. I also hate Drake, and if you can put him in a body bag, I’ll help. But I can’t. If I had years, and a multi-billion-dollar research facility, I might be able to come up with something. I guess I don’t have that.”

  “Two days and whatever we can pick up from the local stores,” I admitted, grimacing.

  “Then I can’t,” she spat back. I walked to the door.

  “Wait,” Laurie said, right as my fingers touched the doorknob. “I might be able to come up with something. It won’t be an antidote, but it might give you a chance.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Of course not, but I might be able to pull it off. I’ll make you a list.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “I’m leaving town as soon as all this is over,” she announced. “I am going to get on the furthest bus I can, and I’m not going to stop running until this place is an unpleasant memory. And so help me God, if I ever see you again, I’ll kill you.”

  I grimaced as I closed the door, trudging my way down the stairs as I hung my head. Every word she said was like a dagger to my chest. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t my fault, which I had no control over what was happening to her and no way to stop it. Still, I kept imagining the perfect world for her. A world where she never met me. A world where she strolled down the halls of her college, surrounded by a group of laughing friends. A world where people recognized her as the genius she was, where she won every award they offered. A world where she had the white picket fence lifestyle I knew she always wanted. A world she would never have, and it was all thanks to me.

  I trudged down to the stairs to the kitchen, moping as I grabbed a can of soda. I stared into the black, fizzy liquid as I sat down at the table, unable to will up the energy necessary to take a drink. Aidan strolled by, a grin on his face as he sat across from me.

  “Hey, I’ve been searching for you,” he said, setting his hand on mine.

  “You’ve found me,” I mumbled. “What’s up?”

  “Come on, let’s go out.”

  “I’m not feeling up to going out.”

  “Come on, two days before the big battle. We have to live it up a little.”

  “Another time.”

  “What’s eating you?” Aidan asked, rubbing the back of my hand as he looked me in the eye.

  “I came back from talking to Laurie.”

  “I take it that didn’t go well,” Aidan returned.

  “No, no it did not. She blamed me for everything that happened to her. I want to believe she’s wrong, but I can’t. If she’d never met me…”

  “Then she would have been alone. She would have never met the person who carried her through her parent’s divorce. She would never have had the person who gave her comfort when her mother crawled into a bottle. There wouldn’t have been anyone there for her on Christmas, her birthdays, any of that. She would have been alone.” Aidan held my hand in his and beamed at me.

  “You’re not responsible for all the violence that happens in the world, Kacey,” he said. “You can’t help all the pain, loss, and tragedy that people go through. All you can do is be the best person you can. You're incredible. Whenever anybody needs you, you don’t hesitate. You move heaven and earth to be there for them. If they need anything, you do whatever it takes to make sure they have it. You care about everyone. You give away all these pieces of your heart, and the one thing that worries you is that you can’t give more.”

  “That’s sweet,” I said, my lips curling into a half-smile as I gazed into his eyes. “Or disgusting, depending on how literal you are.”

  Aidan stood up. “Come on. We’re going out,” he repeated. I rolled my eyes and followed him grinning to his truck. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, sending its glorious golden rays onto the world. The gentle nip of winter filled the air and snow was drifting down, coating the city with a fine, white powder. People starting their day filled the streets. The smell from dozens of coffee shops wafted through the air. People waved as we drove past, smiling as they swept the snow from the sidewalk.

  “Is it me, or does the city seem different?” I asked, watching the parade of happy people stroll down the streets.

  “You see what you want to see,” Aidan replied. “When people are in a bad mood, we project it on the world around us. We see life as dark, dismal, and hopeless. When we’re in a good mood, the world seems brighter, people seem friendlier, and everything seems a little more hopeful.”

  “So which is it? Is everything flowers, cupcakes, and talking ponies? Or is it the grim wasteland that I’ve always thought?”

  “It’s a little bit of both. Some people are heroes, some villains, but almost everyone is somewhere in between. Everyone wants to carve their place in the world. Humanity is capable of such beautiful compassion and love, of such incredible selflessness and courage. Life can make you afraid, panicky, maybe even xenophobic. At the end of the day, though, the human heart is the most powerful force out there. If you put your faith in people, they will never disappoint you.”

  I rolled my eyes at him, but I grinned. On a day like today, it was hard to disagree with him. I watched mothers walking their children to school, both with huge smiles on their faces as they took the morning stroll. Couples skated on a pond, laughing as they tumbled into each other’s arms. The world had so much beauty and happiness. I shook my head, remembering that in a few days Drake would wipe them out.

  “Everybody out,” Aidan announced. I stepped out of the truck, staring at the area in confusion. Aidan had driven us to an empty, snow-packed field. I saw my house in the distance, but the rest of the area seemed unfamiliar. Aidan grinned as I searched the field of pine and frost-covered trees for some familiar sign.

  “Where are we?” I asked, giving up.

  “Do you remember that playground we used to spend our time in as kids? We’d spend hours goofing around on the swings, playing on the monkey bars, and hanging out?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “This is it. They bulldozed it a few years back, but this is the lot where it used to be.”

  I wiped a strand of hair out of my eyes. “That’s cute that you remembered and all, but why did you choose this place? There’s nothing left.”

  “Close your eyes,” he said, walking behind me.

  “What? No,” I said, teasing as he held me close.

  “Come on, do it.”

  “Not until you tell me why you brought me.”

  “Because,” he said, holding his hands over my eyes, “everything old is new again.”

  A cold blast of wind swept across the lot, and Aidan chuckled as he lifted his hands. I gasped at the sight. In an instant, he recreated the playground with perfect detail. I walked over to the old, wooden castle and saw the marks we’d carved into it, each one in the same spot we’d left them. He’d blown everything into larger proportions so that it felt the same size as when we were kids.

  A silver mist hung over the playground, and it pushed back toward the city. As it pushed back, dozens of buildings appeared, each one constructed in a flash of light. The mist trans
formed into an amusement park with countless stalls and rides. The air filled with the machine-gun pop of popcorn and in seconds, its rich, warm scent greeted me. Trays floated, delivering funnel cakes, roasted almonds, ice cream and popcorn to us as I laughed in delight. I struggled to keep up with everything that appeared, and my eyes went wide as gleaming silver light soared to the sky. The light twisted and spun in on itself, and soon, a massive Ferris wheel stretched toward the heavens.

  “How…How did you do all this?”

  “I called in a few favors,” Aidan said, producing a pile of fragrant roses. I breathed them in, letting their beautiful scent became overpowering. I wrapped my arms around Aidan, beaming at him as I stretched up to kiss him. The smell of his aftershave and the steel of his body pressing against me whisked me away from everything. Nothing else mattered, not the coming battle, not Laurie, nothing. Not as long as I held Aidan in my arms and felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and draw me in closer. Each nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, and goosebumps crawled up my arms at the feel of his touch. He pulled away, and I lost myself in those magnificent emerald eyes of his.

  I couldn’t guess how much time we spent at the park. We rode each ride, played every game and won dozens of prizes. Invisible creatures filled our arms with prizes with every step. The sun continued its journey across the sky, and soon we were on the Ferris wheel, watching the lights of the city blink on one by one. At the top of the ride, the city spread out before us like a painting. Skyscrapers were brilliant pillars of light, and the evening commute was a series of fireflies dancing across the street. I lay my head on Aidan’s shoulder, trying to figure out the story behind every commuter and each light. I conjured up dozens of lovers, desperate to see each other after a long day apart. Families were sitting down for an evening out and game night. Police were setting aside the vigilance and danger of the day to sit back and watch a cheesy comedy, getting wrapped up in the laughter and joy of the TV.

  “Did you have fun?” Aidan asked, running his fingers through my hair.