The Big Fang Theory (Magic Market Mysteries Book 8)

by Erin Johnson

  Hopefully, our gamble paid off, and, out of shame at what he was, Ludolf hadn’t revealed to anyone that he was a heron shifter. The dude stalked over to Sacha. “Open it.”

  Sacha looked at Neo, who gave a slight nod. He opened the sack, holding the edges with his enormous hands. The guard dude leaned forward and peered inside, then jumped back as a sharp yellow beak jabbed up at him.

  “Snakes!”

  Sacha clamped the sack closed again and lowered the heron down to the ground.

  The guard dude curled his lip at the sack, then at Neo. “Fine. We’ll walk with you down to the office.”

  Neo waved him off. “Nah. Ludolf asked us to meet him here.”

  “We have more potions to test on that one!” The middle witch pointed a knobby finger at me.

  The guard dude hesitated and looked past us toward the back entrance where Francis waited, out of sight, with the real witches. After a long moment, my breath held and heart pounding, the dude shrugged.

  “Fine, whatever.” He glared at the prince, princess, and Horace in their old lady disguises. “Just no more false alarms.” He shook his head as he turned, grumbling to himself. “I brought half the underground army with me.” He cupped his hands to the sides of his mouth and shouted at the waiting ragtag group. “False alarm—stand down!”

  Slowly, they all shuffled back, grumbling, and I shot Neo a small grin, while Viktor twitched and giggled.

  “What do you say we get out of here and deliver this heron to the cops?”

  Neo raised his brows. “I know you’re dating one, but you really think you can trust them?”

  I nodded, thinking over my talk with Chief McCray. “Peter’s not the only good guy on the force. Plus, we have the royals backing us.”

  We glanced behind us as the three old hags transformed back into Horace, Princess Imogen, and Prince Harry. Francis drifted around the corner from the back entrance.

  I grinned. “Ludolf’s reign is over.” I could hardly dare to believe it as a rush of relief washed over me. “We’re free.”

  38

  SAM

  Peter, Daisy, and I headed back up to the top of the mountain, accompanied by Francis the vampire (who kept ahold of Ludolf in his heron form), Horace, and the prince and princess. I didn’t let go of Peter’s hand the whole way up, and this time, even the climb through the bustling cobblestone streets didn’t feel like a chore. Catching my nemesis definitely gave me a little extra pep in my step.

  We reached the royal grounds and the guards with their golden lances let us in through the main gate. I slowed as we entered, remembering that Sam Snakeman had stood behind the podium in nearly this exact spot when he’d been attacked by Ludolf’s goons. I glanced out over the dark palace grounds, the tree line marking the edge of a small forest. Where could he be?

  We paused inside once the golden gates were locked behind us. Being securely on the palace grounds suddenly made it all feel real. We gathered in a little circle.

  Prince Harry pointed to our right, toward the jail. “We’ll go with you and make sure Ludolf’s processed properly and guarded.”

  Iggy nodded his flaming head. “It’ll also make these guys look less insane when they try to book a heron for kidnapping, false imprisonment, and murder.”

  I grinned. “Thanks.”

  The prince rubbed his wrist and spoke more to his princess than the rest of us. “We’ll have to coordinate with the healers. They’ll need to make up a cure so Ludolf can be properly tried in human form.”

  She shrugged, grinning. “I don’t know—it’d be kinda cute to put a heron on trial.”

  He smirked and shook his head.

  Horace stood a little apart, his eyes half closed as if he had much more important things to be doing than talking to us. “I’d leave him a bird a little longer—clip his wings to make sure he can’t escape.”

  The princess shot him a wary look. “Metaphorically, or…?”

  Her little flame peeked out of his lantern up at her. “Do you really want to know?”

  She curled her lip. “Good point.”

  I shoved my free hand in the pocket of my jacket, the other still wrapped around Peter’s warm hand. Daisy stretched her neck out and gingerly sniffed the burlap sack. A muffled squawk sounded, and the heron thrashed again. Daisy ducked her head and backed up, growling.

  Ugh. This guy smells weird—like cologne and bird poop.

  I watched her a moment. The cologne had to be Ludolf’s smell, but the bird droppings must be from his heron form. I suddenly had a thought.

  I looked Daisy’s way and woofed. Do shifters smell different than other animals to you?

  She cocked her head, her pointy ears pricked. She let out a slow groan. Yes… now that I think about it. If they’ve shifted fairly recently, they still have some human smell on them.

  I looked behind me toward the gate, then back at Daisy. How recently?

  She shot me a flat look and huffed. I don’t know—in case you’re wondering, yes, you do still reek of owl droppings occasionally.

  I glanced over at Francis the vampire, hovering beside her with Ludolf in the sack. He’d smelled it on me, and I hadn’t shifted in years.

  I barked at Daisy. Could you try to sniff out a snake shifter smell? I then turned to Francis. “Do you think you could sniff out your friend Sam if he’d been by here recently? Like in the last day or so?”

  He considered it a moment, narrowing his dark eyes, which he’d lined in black makeup. “Yes. I think so.” His voice came out low and drawling.

  I turned back to Daisy and barked, my excitement building. Let’s go back to the gate, where Sam Snakeman was attacked. See if you can catch the scent of snake and track it.

  I turned to the vampire and barked at him.

  He recoiled and curled his lip at me.

  I shook my head. “Sorry, just got a little excited there. Daisy thinks she can sniff out the scent of snake. I think if you can try to smell out Sam and I check with animal witnesses along the way, we should be able to find your missing friend.”

  The princess blew out a breath. “Oh, that’d be such a relief. We’re all so worried about him.”

  Peter bit his lip and looked toward the jail. “Should this wait until after we’ve booked Ludolf?”

  Horace curled his full lips into a sneer. “Don’t worry. Mr. Caterwaul here can writhe in that sack for a bit longer.” His expression darkened. “He’s not going anywhere.”

  The princess’s eyes grew round as we turned and headed back toward the gate. “Snakes. You really don’t like this guy, huh? What’s your history with him?”

  Horace’s gaze grew faraway, a cruel curl to his lips.

  Iggy scoffed. “Look who you’re talking to, lady! Again—do you really want to know?!”

  Pink spots burned on the princess’s cheeks, and she gave a sheepish grin. She turned to Horace. “Never mind.”

  The guards let us back out, and Daisy zigzagged across the cobblestones, nose to the ground, huffing and sniffing with impressive focus. I’d bet I could have held a handful of bacon in front of her head and she wouldn’t even have looked up.

  Similarly, Francis tipped forward so that he hovered horizontally, his shoulder-length black hair hanging forward over his shoulders. He zoomed about beside Daisy, hooked nose only a few inches above the ground.

  The guards at the gate shot each other wide-eyed looks but didn’t say anything.

  Francis and Daisy seemed to be of the same mind—soon, they turned back inside the gate and followed a meandering path toward the tree line.

  I let out a bark. You’ve caught Sam’s trail, Daisy?

  She didn’t even look up, her wet black nose twitching. She let out a quick woof. Stop blabbering and let me concentrate.

  I turned to the others and nodded, encouraged. “I think she smells snake.”

  Iggy shot his fiery head out of the lantern and gasped out, “That’s what she said!”

  “Iggy!” The pr
incess clapped the shutters on the lantern closed, muffling the flame’s mischievous cackling, then shot me an apologetic smile.

  Francis, still hovering horizontally in a partly hilarious, partly unnerving way, glanced back at us. “I’m also picking up smells of Sam—cinnamon, fear, and a hint of lisp.”

  The princess frowned. “You can smell his lisp?”

  The vampire rolled his eyes and spoke in his deep drawl. “You’re too gullible.”

  The princess just shook her head at him as Prince Harry took her free hand in his. We entered the tree line and moved deeper into the dark forest. Peter lit his wand, and the princess opened Iggy’s lantern again to give us light to see by.

  The princess’s face suddenly lit up, and she turned to her husband. “The forest—of course! I think this is where Sam grew up. It’s where I found him during the competition last year.”

  The prince nodded thoughtfully. “That makes sense. I’m sure Sam was frightened—he’d want to go somewhere familiar and comforting.”

  Pine needles crunched under our feet, and the foliage overhead crowded out what little light the moon cast. We climbed over fallen logs and pushed aside huge ferns as we moved deeper and deeper into the royal forest. Crickets chirped, mostly chatting about the weather, and an owl hooted somewhere nearby, talking to itself.

  Not many mice out tonight, hmph. I’m hungry.

  An owl. Would the royal healers soon have a cure for my own curse? I glanced toward the sky, the leaves mostly blocking it. Oh, to soar again. I shook it off—time to focus, Jolene. I kept my ears pricked for any hissing.

  Soon, Daisy and Francis stopped moving forward and began to circle a little clearing with a dense cluster of bushes and grasses.

  “I believe he’s somewhere nearby—his scent is strong here.”

  The princess folded her arms and shot the vampire an arch look. “Oh, yeah? His smell is extra lispy?”

  Peter fought a chuckle by coughing into his fist.

  Daisy snuffled and huffed, nose to the ground, making sharp turns and doubling back. She let out a low whine. A snake is definitely nearby.

  I curled my lip and glanced down at my feet, lifting one, then the other. I could talk to animals, but that didn’t mean I still wanted to run into a strange snake in the middle of the night.

  After I was sure I wasn’t about to be bit, I crouched down and pictured Sam in my mind. “Hiss.” Sam? Saaamm? I waited, ears pricked, then hissed again. Sam, my name’s Jolene, and I’m here to help. I’ve got your friends with me. It’s safe—you can come out now.

  To my left, a bush rustled, then some of the knee-high grasses swayed. Daisy lifted her head, and Francis tipped back upright unnervingly quickly.

  A little green snake slithered closer to my foot, and I forced myself to hold my ground—even though part of me wanted to shriek and leap into Peter’s arms.

  I gulped and hissed again. Sam?

  The snake’s forked tongue darted out, tasting the air, and then it hissed as it passed me by and headed toward the princess. Yesss. It’sss me, Sssam.

  The princess looked at me with wide eyes until I nodded. “It’s definitely him.”

  “Oh, yay!” She clapped and dropped down to a crouch. She set Iggy’s lantern down on the ground beside her and used one finger to gently stroke Sam’s scaly head.

  I hissed again as the prince crouched down beside her and waved at the little snake.

  Sam—it’s safe now. Why don’t you change back?

  The snake turned its head toward me, its lips curved up in a constant smile, though his tone was tremulous. I tried. I wasss too ssscared.

  I nodded and licked my lips. Peter bent forward, his warm hand on my shoulder. See that sack your vampire friend is holding? The man who ordered the attack on you is in there. You’re safe now—safer by far than you were before.

  The little snake’s tongue darted out again. Okay. I’ll try again.

  It took another few moments, but in a whoosh of magic, the snake disappeared and Sam Snakeman, in human form, sat on the ground in his place.

  “Sam!” The princess lunged forward and threw her arms around him, tackling them both to the ground. He still wore his suit and bowtie from when he’d given his speech, but neither of them seemed to care that they were both getting covered in dirt and leaves. Peter helped me back to my feet, and Daisy trotted over. We both petted her head—to my surprise, she let me.

  I woofed at her. Good work, girl.

  She grinned up at me. Thanks. She snapped her jaw shut and woofed again. But don’t call me “girl.”

  I nodded and woofed back. Fair enough.

  39

  STARTERS AND ENDERS

  “Yum.” Heidi closed her eyes in bliss as she slurped up a noodle.

  I grinned, chopsticks poised over my bowl of ramen. “They didn’t have this up at the palace?” I scooped a piece of pork into my mouth.

  Will swallowed his bite and jabbed his chopsticks in my direction. “That’s about the only thing they didn’t have, sister.” He flipped his white lab coat back and scooted closer on his rolling stool. “I’ll miss that place—it’s much more my style.”

  I grinned and slumped happily down in one of the lobby chairs in Will’s clinic, my booted feet propped up on the coffee table next to a pile of glossy magazines. Peter, who sat eating beside me, tipped his head and leaned it against mine. Daisy lay at our feet, a thick bone propped between her huge paws. She gnawed on the end of it as rain tapped at the roof and the metal door that led to the alley.

  I felt a sense of peace that I hadn’t felt in, well… ever. I snuggled against Peter—I was dating a great guy who accepted me for who and what I was. I kept up great banter with his adorably prickly dog, and my friends and I and all the shifters on the island were finally free from the tyranny of Ludolf Caterwaul. All that, plus a bowl of ramen from our favorite cart, made me one happy gal.

  I pointed my chopsticks at Will. “What are you going to do now with all that extra money from not paying Ludolf ‘protection’ fees?”

  He looked down at his steaming bowl for a long moment, then looked up, uncharacteristically serious. “I’m a surgeon, right?”

  I frowned at him in mock confusion. “A what now? You’ve never mentioned that before.”

  Heidi snickered, and he shot her a flat look.

  “Har har.” He shrugged his beefy shoulders. “I can operate on people, and now I have experience operating on animals….” He lifted a bushy brow. “I figured I’d open a practice where I saw shifters—a perfect marriage of the two.”

  I nodded. “That’s actually a great idea, Will.”

  He shot me a sassy look. “Actually?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I just mean, I wouldn’t have thought of it. I’m sure you’ll be rolling in it in no time.”

  He nodded, primly. “Me, too.”

  Peter lifted a palm. “Maybe you can start with all those cured shifters that were trapped in the animal sanctuary for so long. I’m sure they need some good medical attention.”

  I nodded my agreement.

  Will finished a bite. “Have the royal healers cured them all?”

  “Yeah.” I bit my lip. I hadn’t been sure how to tell my friends this part… I wasn’t sure they’d approve. “After we booked Ludolf last night and we joined you guys at the palace, I had a talk with them.”

  Heidi put her bowl down in her lap, and Will leaned forward.

  I took a deep breath and blew it out. “The healers said my files were among the ones the prince and princess recovered and that they’d been working on a cure for me.”

  Heidi gasped and opened her mouth to speak, but Will waved at her. “Let her finish.”

  I gulped. “They said that most of the cases were pretty straightforward, but mine was different. The way the curse interacted with my abilities was unique. Being able to speak to animals was a side effect that complicated things. That, plus the fact that I’d been cursed for years and my magic was suppressed
, fueling the curse, apparently made curing it tricky.” I gave a hollow chuckle. “You know me—always complicated.”

  Peter squeezed my shoulder, and I fought against the tightness in my throat. “They said they’d brewed a cure, and that if I drank it, I might gain the ability to shift and my powers back.” I cleared my throat. “Or, I might lose all my magic permanently, including the ability to speak to animals.”

  Heidi bit her lip. “Jolene… I’m so sorry.”

  Will pressed his lips tight together. “What did you decide?”

  Using my abilities to help solve murders, save all those trapped shifters, and bring down Ludolf had changed the way I viewed my situation. Plus, I couldn’t imagine never hearing another insult from Daisy again.

  I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders. “I decided not to drink it. I see my ability to speak to animals as a gift now, and I’ve come to peace with not being able to shift or do other forms of magic.” I shrugged. “Not that I won’t miss soaring over the island or casting spells, but… it’s a mindset shift. I don’t see it as a curse anymore.”

  Will nodded. “They talk about that in my anger management classes—changing your mindset.”

  Heidi gave me an appreciative nod. “I’m proud of you.”

  I grinned, relieved. “Thanks, guys.” I’d been afraid they’d think my decision was crazy, but I should’ve known they’d be supportive.

  We ate in silence for a few moments, the rain tapping at the windows. As I thought about the healers and the cursed shifters, something else occurred to me.

  I raised my brows at Heidi perched on her tall wooden stool, which she’d pulled around from behind the check-in desk. She wore red spandex shorts, matching leg warmers, and an oversized black sweater that hung open over one shoulder. “Heidi—you sad about the sloth?”

  It’d only been about a week that she’d been caring for the trapped shifters in my apartment, but I knew she’d bonded with them all—especially the sloth. In fact, it seemed odd to see her without it resting on her hip, gazing adoringly up into her face.

  Her brows pinched together, and she sighed down into her ramen. “Kinda, yeah…” She perked up, her lips pulled to the side in a mischievous grin. “He’s kinda hot, though.”