The Secret Christmas Child

by Lee Tobin McClain

  So to explain to him that Brock had assaulted her, and that the result had been Izzy...yeah. That was going to be a tough conversation.

  Not only that, but she hadn’t called a warning, only sent a text. She’d gotten no response. So she didn’t know for sure that he would be expecting her.

  But they’d planned to get together, and since he’d been busy last night, tonight was what they’d agreed on. Only he’d left the rehearsal today without a word to her, just a cryptic note on her purse saying that he was needed at home.

  Had she misread it? His handwriting was terrible, probably a function of him being right-handed but having to use his left hand to write.

  And in what sense was he needed at home? Did he have dependents that she didn’t know about? A mad wife in the attic like Mr. Rochester of Jane Eyre fame?

  Don’t get hysterical, she scolded herself as she pulled up to a snug cabin, backlit by the rosy glow of sunset. She double-checked the address. Yes, this was his place.

  He was probably expecting her. And if he wasn’t, if he wasn’t even home...well, no denying that would be a big relief, but she’d just have to schedule another get-together.

  She needed to talk to him, needed it badly. She had to get the truth off her chest, come what may.

  Had to know whether she and Reese had a chance together.

  She knocked on his heavy, rough-hewn door, her heart pounding. What if he told her to get lost? What if he didn’t even answer the door?

  But no. The door opened, and there he stood, looking at her.

  “I texted,” she said. “Hope it was okay for me to come out here.”

  “Not many people do,” he said. Then he stepped back and held the door open for her. “Come on in.”

  “I brought you...” Her hand froze in the act of giving him a plate of cookies. She looked slowly around the room. “Reese, this is amazing.”

  “These are what’s amazing,” he said, lifting the plastic wrap to sniff appreciatively at the gingerbread men. “Can I take your coat?”

  He was being cordial, which was good, because Gabby was stunned into silence by the beauty of his cabin. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, everything was warm golden wood, softly lit by dim oil lamps. The furniture was rough-hewn, masculine, and she had a sudden notion. “Did you make your couch and chairs yourself?”

  He nodded, ducking his head a little. “Just an experiment. Trying to see what I can do with what I have left.” He gestured at his partial arm. Again today, he wasn’t wearing a prosthesis.

  “Looks like you can still do quite a lot,” she said, running a hand over the log armrest. Of necessity, the furniture’s design wasn’t delicate or refined, but then, it wasn’t meant to be; this was rugged, outdoorsman furniture, oversize and very masculine.

  Like Reese himself.

  Then she heard a soft shuffling sound. A small golden dog limped forward, leg bound up.

  “Aw, aren’t you precious.” She dropped to her knees and held out a hand to the dog, who sniffed and then licked it. She looked up at Reese. “Is she yours?”

  “Not officially, but...yeah, she probably will be,” Reese said. “That’s Goldie. She’s why I needed to come home.”

  “What’s wrong with her leg? And why didn’t she bark when I came in?”

  “She just had a second surgery,” he explained, “and I need to keep an eye on her. Can’t leave her alone too long, but she’s not up for the rowdiness of the Rescue Haven dogs.” He knelt then, too, and scratched the dog behind the ears until she rolled onto her back, begging for a belly rub. “She was mistreated. We think she might have been shocked with a training collar every time she barked, because she barely makes a sound.”

  “Poor thing. Who would do that?”

  “People who don’t want a dog to act like a dog, I guess.” He shrugged. “I’m hoping that, with all the squirrels and birds and chipmunks out here, I’ll surprise a bark out of her one of these days.”

  “She’s sweet.” And so was Reese, for having a heart for vulnerable things. Gabby stroked the dog’s soft fur. “I didn’t know you had a pet.”

  “I have a few of them.” He pointed to the wall where two large cages stood side by side. “Broken wings, both of ’em.” He rolled his eyes as he walked over to show her. “Local wildlife folks have me on speed dial. They found this African gray half frozen a couple of months ago, and the dove just last week.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “Somebody thinks you’re good with broken wings, eh?”

  “I know. It’s not exactly subtle.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind. I’m not like you, who has a baby and a grandmother—and a brother, for that matter—home needing me.”

  The reference to Izzy reminded her of the purpose of her visit, but she let herself ignore the reminder. Getting to know this new side of Reese was too interesting. “How do you know how to take care of them? You’ve never had birds before, have you?”

  He shrugged. “Hannah helps me a little, and I do online research.” He laughed, sounding self-conscious. “Like I said, I have plenty of time.”

  Gabby stifled the slight bit of jealousy that flared up at the mention of Hannah’s name. Not her business. She needed to pay attention to the casual way Reese referred to her and trust that his more intense responses to Gabby meant something.

  Connecting to Reese on a romantic level meant something to her now. Meant more and more each day. Meant she was willing to take a pretty big risk to see whether it could happen.

  The results, she reminded herself, weren’t in her hands. She couldn’t control his reaction to her news. Only God could.

  The temptation to tell God what to do sure was strong, though.

  She looked up from the dove to find Reese studying her. “So...it’s nice to see you, but I have the feeling you have a bigger purpose than just bringing me cookies. You must have a reason for wanting to get together.”

  It flashed through her mind: Couldn’t she just want to get together with him?

  But no, they weren’t there yet. And here it went. “I was hoping we could talk,” she said. “I thought we just postponed getting together from last night to tonight. Did I misunderstand that?”

  “No, that’s right,” he said. “I just... I just needed to come home and check on these guys.” He waved a hand at the animals. But there was something in his voice...

  “You sure you weren’t avoiding me? Seems like every time we start to get close you back off. Is there something wrong, something I don’t know?”

  He frowned, paced to the fireplace and stood by the mantel. “I get mixed messages from you.”

  That was the understatement of the year. “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “It’s why I wanted to talk to you. But...” She frowned. “I was also sensing some mixed messages from you. I thought you wanted to get together last night, but then you left today as if you didn’t.”

  He looked down at the little dog, picked her up. “My mixed feelings go back a ways,” he said. “To the time we were together, and then...we weren’t. We’ve never really talked that through.”

  “No,” she said, “we haven’t.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I never really understood what happened.”

  “I don’t want to be harboring old grudges,” he said, “but I have to admit, it hurt. I mean, we had what I thought was an agreement, and then...”

  Dread clenched Gabby’s stomach. Was there something he knew? But how?

  “That post,” he said. “Brock’s post.”

  She frowned. “What post?”

  “Of you and him together. I... Look, there’s no denying I was pretty upset.”

  She stared at him as her stomach started to churn. “I didn’t know Brock had posted something about the two of us. I don’t even know what he could have posted. When was that?”

  “Less than
a week after I left,” he said quietly.

  Before the assault, then. Of course, because Brock’s accident had happened immediately after. “If he did, I had nothing to do with it. We certainly weren’t dating each other.”

  “Pictures don’t lie,” he said. “He had his arm around you and said you were his girl.”

  A dim memory came back. “I ran into him up at Lake Erie, when we were there with separate groups of friends. I remember him grabbing me and snapping a selfie. I gave him a good scolding for it.” Because she hadn’t liked him touching her.

  Maybe that was another part of what had led to the assault.

  “You mean you weren’t with him? He said you were his new girl.”

  “Don’t you remember that he tended to say a lot of things that weren’t true?” Like that if I came to that party with him, we could Skype with you. Gabby grimaced and shook her head. “I honestly couldn’t stand him. But you know how he was, always trying to be the center of attention and get people to do what he wanted.”

  “Oh, yeah. All too well.” He blew out a breath. “That makes me feel better, then. I shouldn’t have questioned your loyalty that way. I’m sorry.”

  “So that’s why you didn’t answer my emails.” It was all coming together now. “I thought you were off doing soldier things. At least, until I got your ‘leave me alone’ message.”

  He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I should have trusted you over my cousin.”

  “Reese...” She gathered her courage. “There is something I’d like to talk to you about. But it’s...hard.”

  “You don’t need to explain anything,” he said. He came over to where she was sitting on the edge of the couch and sat down on the ottoman in front of her. “Really. The past is the past, and as long as I know you weren’t with Brock—”

  As long as I know you weren’t with Brock. She swallowed hard, rubbed sweaty hands down her jeans.

  Just do it. “I need to say this, for myself if not for you,” she said, “if we’re to go forward. But I need for you to listen without judging.” She coughed and cleared her throat.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “I can do that. Want something to drink?”

  “Sure.” Her throat was dry. Even though it would only postpone what was going to be a very hard conversation.

  She hadn’t known Brock had posted a photo of the two of them together.

  Would Reese believe her?

  She heard the buzz of her phone, and since Reese was fixing drinks in the small kitchen, she answered it.

  “Gabby, Nana’s sick,” Jacob said. “Can you come home?”

  * * *

  Reese put an arm around Gabby as they watched the EMTs take her grandmother from the ambulance to the ER on a stretcher.

  “This is ridiculous,” Nana was fuming in a thin, thready voice. “I just need a little extra rest, that’s all.”

  Gabby pressed her hand to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m so worried about her! I should never have left her alone.”

  “You didn’t leave her alone,” Reese said. “You left her and Jacob together, and Jacob was sensible and called you, and 911, when she fainted.”

  “She could have broken a bone!”

  “Whether you were there or not,” he said. “Gabby, this isn’t your fault.”

  She nodded slowly. “I suppose you’re right. Thanks, Reese.”

  He knew her well enough to guess what else she was worrying about. “And just now, you were right to leave Izzy with Jacob. She couldn’t come to the hospital. And Hannah will be there within a few minutes to take charge. In fact—” he looked down at his flashing phone “—she’s already there. She took a pizza. She says Jacob’s chowing down and Izzy is fine.”

  “Thank you.” They followed the workers into the ER, and then Gabby got busy with intake paperwork. Reese wasn’t a part of the family, so he couldn’t go back until Gabby was ready to accompany him, but he was still glad he’d come.

  Gabby wasn’t one to fall apart, but she’d come pretty close to it when she’d heard her grandmother was ailing. He was just glad he’d been able to help by driving her home, then to follow the ambulance to the regional hospital.

  Sheniqua came through the door and he waved her over. She stopped to squeeze Gabby’s shoulder and then came over to Reese. “I’m going to check on my patient. You take care of this one—” she nodded sideways toward Gabby “—so she doesn’t become a patient herself, okay?”

  “Will do.” What did it mean that he relished the responsibility?

  Moments later they were all in a curtained enclosure in the nearly empty ER. Reese had been hesitant to join them, but they’d all beckoned him in, told him he was like family.

  “I’m completely fine,” Nana said, and indeed, with the good care she’d received en route, she already sounded much better.

  “It looks like you let yourself get dehydrated,” Sheniqua said. “That may be all. But while you’re here, we’re going to run a few tests.” She smiled at Nana. “I’ll be back in to check on you, okay? You know you’re my favorite patient.” She patted Gabby’s arm on the way out.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got sick.” Gabby was holding her grandmother’s hand. “I moved here to be available to you and I was gone.”

  “Gabby—” Reese began, then bit off the words. He didn’t want her beating herself up, but this was between Gabby and her grandmother. It wasn’t about him.

  Nana held up a hand. “Honey,” she said, “I couldn’t be happier that you and Izzy are living with me, but that doesn’t mean you have to save me from every possible thing that could go wrong. I’m old,” she added with a comical twist of her face.

  “No, you’re not,” Gabby said. “You don’t seem old.”

  “And you’d been recovering so well,” Reese added.

  “I had,” Nana agreed, “but I overdid it with those boys yesterday, and it caught up with me today.”

  Reese frowned. “I wish you’d told us it was too much.” Now he was feeling guilty. Nana was so much fun, so high-energy, that it was hard to remember she was in her eighties and had been ill. She might not have the stamina of a younger person.

  Around them, low voices and the quiet beeps of machines made white noise, but their curtained enclosure felt private.

  “Stop fussing, both of you,” she said. “This is minor, but even if it weren’t, so be it. I’m not going to be around forever—” she held up a hand to halt Gabby’s protest “—and I’m okay with that. I’ve made my peace with the world and with my life, and I’m ready to meet my Maker when the time comes.” She smiled at the two of them. “Although, selfishly, I’d sure like to stick around for a while and see if you two stubborn young people ever see what’s right before your eyes.”

  “What do you...” Gabby broke off, her face reddening.

  Heat climbed the back of Reese’s neck. Were his feelings for Gabby that obvious? Did she share them?

  What had she been about to tell him at his house, right before she’d gotten the phone call about Nana?

  She’d seemed nervous and worried about his reaction, which was his own fault. He’d acted judgmental toward her when she’d first returned, sulked around, hadn’t wanted to hire her, even.

  Now, it was hard to imagine life without her.

  He had the feeling she was going to tell him about the circumstances of Izzy’s conception, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The general outline of it was already clear: she’d gone back to college and fallen into a lifestyle she never would have allowed in Bethlehem Springs. Maybe she’d been drinking at a party or made a mistake about what friends to hang out with. It was understandable. Especially after he’d sent her that cold, harsh message telling her to leave him alone. She hadn’t owed him anything.

  She didn’t owe him anything now
, but the question was, did she want to get back together, see what they had? Could she care for him even though he had a significant disability?

  That sent his mind back to his aunt and uncle and their concept that he wouldn’t appeal to any woman now. They’d been cold to say it, but they might very well be right. He wouldn’t want Gabby to have to overcome revulsion in order to embrace him.

  Although she hadn’t seemed put off when they’d kissed before.

  Their idea that he needed to fire her wasn’t even worth thinking about. He wouldn’t do something so dishonorable.

  Yet it was hard to acknowledge that, because of his attitude toward their wishes, Rescue Haven might lose valuable support from his aunt and uncle.

  He shook his head, trying to rattle some sense into it. With Gabby worried about her grandmother and the show just around the corner, he needed to be thinking clearly to save his program for the boys and dogs. Wondering and worrying about what would happen with Gabby, about how she felt, did no good.

  When he was this churned up, the only thing to do was turn to God. He needed to cast his burdens on the Lord, just as the pastor had recommended a couple of Sundays ago.

  While Gabby talked quietly with her grandmother, Reese bowed his head. Lord, I’m not sure how all of this is going to turn out, but I could sure use for You to take over. Both with the Rescue Haven program, and with Gabby. Your will be done.

  Of course, he had strong opinions about what he wanted done, but that didn’t always work out so well. He’d try his best to let go and let God.

  Chapter Ten

  The next afternoon, back at home, Gabby sat on the edge of her grandmother’s bed and tried to manage the mix of love and exasperation she felt. “I’m not leaving you here,” she said, keeping her voice firm. “You just got home from the hospital a few hours ago!”

  “And she has a doctor to help care for her.” Sheniqua tapped on the edge of the bedroom door and then came in. “How are you feeling, Miss Estelle?”

  “I’m perfectly fine, except these coddling young people are annoying me. One here and one pacing around the living room like he’s going to wear a hole in the carpet.”