by Karen Deen
She just stands there quietly, not moving, not speaking. I want to know what she’s thinking about. What is going on in that head of hers and what the hell was that statement before telling me she can’t?
The elevator doors open and we both step in. Both our hands reach for the buttons; I press my level as she goes to press ground floor.
“Not a chance, Red. You’re coming with me first. No arguing.” As the doors close, I watch as she goes to open her mouth to say something. I capture her mouth before the first word escapes. She tastes like champagne and beef, but she smells just like I dream about at night. It doesn’t take long before she gives in trying to protest and her hands are in my hair. The passion’s rising and the kiss is to the point I want to take her right here in this elevator. She’s damn lucky we’ve reached my floor, otherwise I would be stripping her naked right here.
Guiding her out towards my door, she starts to try to talk again.
“No, not here, save it for inside.” I don’t care what she’s going to tell me, but she can wait until I’ve fucked her and reminded her how good we are together. Before she tries to tell me whatever bullshit excuse she has, why we can’t do this. I know I’m supposed to be pulling back, but just seeing her tonight has me just wanting her more. I knew she was going to be trouble the first time I saw her. After the first time of tasting her and sinking into her promised land, I knew I was fucked. Tried to tell myself it’d be easy. Tonight, I’m doubting all the cockiness I had back then.
Closing the door, I’m stalking her like the big bad wolf she likes to call me. My little Red is fine enough for the big bad wolf to eat her tonight.
“Kane, listen, I can’t have sex with you,” she yells at me. Her tone snaps me out of the lusting fog.
“What are you talking about, Red? Look at you. You came here ready to flirt with me and drive me crazy all night. What the hell is going on?”
“Oh my god, you are so annoying! Just shut up and listen. I’m not telling you it’s over.”
“Damn straight you’re not,” I growl at her. Even though my head is screaming at me that is exactly what needs to happen.
“Zip it and just listen.” I go to open my mouth again but the look she gives me has me holding the words in my head. “I’m on my period. It’s that simple. I can’t have sex because I am on my period. You know, time out in the main game, does that compute with your stupid macho brain?” I stop cold and just stare at her.
Before long I start laughing, I can’t stop, and I’m bent over trying to suck in air. It’s like all my nervous energy that I had stored up is coming out as laughter. It’s releasing so I don’t explode.
“Jesus, Lil, why didn’t you just tell me, or message me that? No need to be embarrassed. I would rather a message than nothing for four days and be confused as to what’s going on.” I go to wrap her in my arms only to have her slap me on the chest.
“Me! What about you?” she screams at me. “Where are my messages from the last few days? You run out of my apartment to work after the best weekend of my life and then just nothing. Not ‘Hey, I’m safe, just busy with work.’ Not ‘Hey, sex was awesome, will be in touch.’ Just nothing. You think a girl likes to be left hanging?”
I step backwards to stop her from hitting me. “Shit, Lilly, this is exactly why I don’t do relationships, too many expectations.”
“Yet, you were hanging waiting for a message from me, confused what had happened. Don’t you see? We both suck at this fuck-buddies thing. We’re falling over the line and it’s only the first week.” By now her voice is calming down and getting soft. I just open my arms, and she falls into them.
We stand there for a few moments just feeling the connection that’s not supposed to be there.
“I’m sorry, Kane, my hormones have had me being a raving bitch the last few days. I’m all over the place and can’t seem to work out what the hell I’m doing.”
“Hey.” I place my finger under her chin and lift her face to look at me. “I could have reached out too. I’m so caught up in this case that’s thrown me a curve ball, I was selfish and not thinking either.”
“What do we do now?” Lilly looks up at me with those beautiful eyes. The ones I can’t say no to.
“We go to bed.”
“Kane—”
I place my finger on her lips. “We go to bed and snuggle up together and sleep. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t slept well this week, and when I have you in my arms, I sleep the best I’ve done in a long time. What do you say?” I rest my hands on her shoulders waiting for her answer. “The rest we figure out in the morning.”
“Deal, the rest we leave until tomorrow. Tonight, let’s just sleep.”
Leading down the hallway to my room, I’m mentally kicking myself.
Every step I take in this arrangement is making this so much harder.
I haven’t been called in on the case yet so there’s still time.
Time to cuddle, time to have sex.
Time to fall out of love with her because I’m already stepping over the line.
One I swore I would never even walk near let alone put a foot over.
I do know one thing: no matter what I want…loving Lilly is not an option.
Chapter Seventeen
Lilly
Why is it when I think the night’s going to go one direction, Kane just seems to pick it up, turn it on its head and change it? Controlling bastard.
I’m wrapped snuggly in a pair of his running shorts and a training shirt under the blankets of his bed. Kane is showering and my mind is desperately wanting to be in there with him. I came to dinner tonight ready to rip him apart for ignoring me and end up snuggled in his bed ready to cuddle and sleep together. Just when I think I get him worked out, he shows me another side to the ever-changing man that is Kane. This Kane is so soft and caring. He made sure I was all relaxed, wanting to give me clothes so I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. Mind you, I think they may also be to help him to keep his hands to himself.
Burrowing down into the blankets and resting my head on his pillow, gives me a feeling of home. The smell of Kane is embedded in everything around me. I love the smell of the aftershave and shower gel he uses. They combine to give a very masculine smell. One I’ll happily wear home tomorrow buried in my pores. If I’m lucky, maybe I can sneak this t-shirt into my bag. So the nights when I’m missing him, I can crawl into bed with the scent of Kane and wish he were actually there with me.
I know I’m bordering on the sort of feelings you start to have when you’re in the early stages of a relationship. The ones I promised both of us I’m not interested in and don’t need. I can’t let on to Kane how I feel, otherwise I’ll lose him. I’m not ready for that. We’re just getting to know each other outside of the sexual magnetism we possess. I can’t deny we know each other very well in that department. Our sex has been explosive from the very first encounter. Like nothing I have ever experienced. Every part of that I can’t get enough of. But I crave to know him as a person too. There’s just this connection I can’t deny between us.
I’m feeling very clingy tonight and I know it’s the hormones and the wine. I need to snap out of it. Hopefully in the morning I’ll be back to the feisty Lilly Kane seems to like.
Between the scent of Kane and the comfortable bed, my eyes start to get heavier and I drift into a light sleep. I don’t even hear Kane come out of the shower or turn off the lights. I just feel him sliding into the bed and pulling me towards him. I go to my natural position which is curled into his side with my head on his chest above his heart. The thumping beat sends me straight into the deep sleep I’ve been longing for all week. The last thing I remember is Kane stroking my head as his breathing slows and I swear I hear him whisper, “I wish I could keep you,” as I fall into the world of slumber. But maybe I was just dreaming. I’ll never know.
The best sleep of a lifetime was interrupted by Kane’s stupid phone at six am.
“What is it about us and
fucking phones?” I say as I bury my head under the pillow while he rolls over to grab it.
“Don’t panic, baby, it’s just my alarm. Remember, today is still a workday. No sleep-ins for either of us,” he groans as he lies back down and grabs me to drag me back into his arms.
“Well, it should be national no-work day. They should also have a national sleep-in day. Followed by a national fuck-Lilly day.” I giggle as Kane’s body tenses.
“Hold up. I’m all for the National no-work day and sleep-in day but the fuck-Lilly day is certainly not a national day. It’s a day only for the calendar of Kane. Actually, because I’m in charge of the rules and regulations of that calendar, I think we could schedule that holiday on a regular basis. There’s no way it can only be once a year. I’ll end up in an asylum, from blue balls which caused insanity from lack of ejaculation.”
My giggle now breaks out into laughing that has my body shaking against his. “Why is it when I make a joke you always have to go one better? You are such an idiot.”
“Oh wow, I’m so hurt. Idiot is a mean word.” He’s smiling like a big kid as his phone starts up again.
“Now I’m really starting to hate phones in the morning too.”
“I wish I could ignore it, but we can’t. I need to get to work and so do you. Plus, I need to sneak you out of here before your sister and that nosey old woman, Xavier, see you doing the walk of shame from this building. Come on, I’ll make you coffee and breakfast while you take a shower to freshen up.” He slowly leans down and kisses me softly on the lips. Not taking it too deep, just enough to make my mind start to turn to mush as he pulls away and then places a quick peck on my forehead. Then he’s up from the bed and I’m getting the amazing morning glory of his bare ass as he walks towards the bathroom.
“For god’s sake, close the door this time. No matter what you think, it is so not sexy watching you pee!” I yell as he sniggers at me and half closes the door.
“That’s what you call compromise,” he yells as I hear his pee hitting the toilet water.
“You’re gross, you know. No wonder when we’re little, people warn us against boys and say they’re yucky and have boy germs and cooties. You don’t lose that when you become a man, do you?”
“Be careful, otherwise I’ll give you boy germs for being cheeky.”
It’s too early in the morning for me to try to outwit him.
“Whatever, just hurry up in there, otherwise I’m going to wet your bed.” I start to get up and grab my clothes that are laid on the chair next to the bed.
“There’s only ever one way you’re allowed to wet my bed and it’s not from needing to go to the toilet.” He flashes his cheeky grin at me as he stands at the doorway to his walk-in closet. Fully naked and his semi-hard cock saying good morning.
“Seriously, don’t even start that talk. Especially when I can’t take it further. That’s just cruel. Coffee, now, big boy. That’s the only hot thing I’m looking forward to this morning.”
He places his hand over his heart. “Oh, you wound me with your disregard for my innuendos. You could mentally scar me with some of your comments.”
“I’m going to physically hurt you in a moment if you don’t cover up that dick that’s so tempting and get my coffee brewing. You know I’m not a morning person, if I don’t get my coffee shortly then you’ll see what I’m really like.”
“Yes, ma’am. At your service, ma’am. Is that with one lump or two, ma’am?” He’s still standing there watching me walk towards him. I’m not sure what he’s expecting but me walking past and ignoring his hot body sure wasn’t one of them.
“Don’t you forget it, either,” I tell him as I close the door and start stripping off. Showering here without any of my toiletries is not ideal, but hey, I’ll end up smelling like him and that certainly is not too difficult to bear.
It’s a weird sensation to be back dressed in my own clothes yet smelling like Kane. Walking to the kitchen, I can smell the coffee which is like liquid gold at this time of the morning. Thank god we didn’t have a gym session booked in for this morning, otherwise that could have been a little awkward. I wonder how much longer we can go on like this, sneaking around from our family and friends, before we get caught.
“Is this to madam’s liking?” He hands me the mug and taking a sip is like inhaling the first breath for the morning.
“Mmm, heaven.” I stand with my eyes closed and just let the calmness overtake me. This is the way I start every day. With a good strong coffee.
“Wow, I knew I was good but to be given god status, I’m feeling pretty proud.”
I open my eyes to look at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” I question his ramblings.
“You said I’m like heaven – you know, god.” He sniggers at me as he starts plating up the scrambled eggs he’s cooked for us.
“You are such a fool and I can’t even deal with your ego this early in the morning. I’m not even answering that comment. Now let’s eat this great-looking breakfast before I have to sneak out like a spy.” We both laugh a little and then get on with eating and cleaning up so we can get moving.
Standing in Kane’s bedroom after cleaning my teeth with his spare toothbrush, I wait for him to come out of the bathroom.
“Are you ready, Lil?” Kane heads into the walk-in closet.
“Sure, believe it or not, I’m waiting on you.” I follow him in. “What could you possibly still need to get?”
He crouches down on the floor at the back of the closet and goes to a safe. Punching in a code, he opens to it and pulls out a pistol and then holsters it under his jacket. I didn’t even notice the strap there before and I’m a little surprised.
“What else are you carrying there, mister policeman? Maybe a pair of handcuffs?” I can’t help but make a joke because the sight of the gun actually makes me feel a little nervous. I know what Kane does on a daily basis is dangerous but seeing a gun in his hands brings it all home just how dangerous.
“Pity my cuffs are at the station, because the things I can picture doing with you and those cuffs is a hot vision.” He starts towards me, as I back slowly out of the closet. “The pink blushing on your cheeks and your quick breathing tell me you might like to test out my cuffs too, am I right, Red?” By this stage he has me cornered against the wall and is running his fingers around my wrists. My breathing has become shallow and a little quicker. I can’t hide my thoughts. I don’t know how to answer him. I’ve never done that before, but I have a feeling I might like to. I’m just not sure how I tell him that without sounding too innocent. Kane is not with me for my innocence, I’m sure of that. So, I keep it simple.
“Maybe.” My reddening blush across my face lets him know his answer.
“Fuck, Red.” He slams his lips down onto mine and pulls away, breathless. “How am I supposed to get through today now? Every time I see someone at the station with cuffs, all I’ll see is a vision of you naked and cuffed to my bed.” He takes me again with a kiss that tells me he wants that and maybe more. Breaking apart for air, he places his forehead on mine while we both try to calm down. “You slay me, Red, more than you know.” He places a delicate kiss on my forehead and walks away, leaving me panting against the wall and with the need for another shower. I might slay him, but little does he realize, my Big Bad Wolf has captured his Red, and she’s not sure she will ever escape, or even want to.
Our trip in the car to my place is quiet. Morning traffic noises, the music in the background and me trying to keep my legs crossed for relief. We’re both trying to focus on leaving Kane’s bedroom behind and worry about the day ahead.
Pulling up in front of my building, he puts his hand on my leg so I can’t move.
“Lilly, when will you be back in action? I desperately need to fuck you. Hard!” That voice makes me quiver every damn time. His brashness doesn’t even worry me when he talks dirty to me.
“Straight to the point.” I know my cheeks are blushing, my body shivering a
nd my legs are going to have trouble walking.
“I’m hanging by a thread, what do you expect. I watched you flirt your ass in front of me, then I slept next to you all night, wearing my clothes, in my bed. Then you tell me I can cuff you. Jesus, woman, there is only so much a man can take before his dick explodes. I think I’ve almost reached that point. So yeah, I’m straight to the point. I want you and I’m becoming very impatient where you are concerned.” He’s leaning towards me and slides his hand behind my neck, pulling me closer.
I lose all strength when he controls me. “Tomorrow, hopefully,” I whisper.
“My place, tomorrow night. You’re mine. Be prepared to push some limits, Red. I’m sure you’ll love it.” Dropping his head to my neck, he starts nibbling and licking as he moves up towards my ear. “I’m going to make you come so hard that you’ll never forget me.” As he bites on my ear, I’m close to coming right now.
“Kane,” I moan. “You’re being mean.”
“Now you know how I’m feeling. Until tomorrow, Red.” He pulls back and hops out, coming around to open my door.
Helping me out, he wraps me tightly, kisses my cheek, and with a silly grin he gets back into his car and disappears down the road.
What the hell just happened?
I’m not even sure my legs will work to get me into the building. They feel like jelly and my brain is in a lust-filled fog.
Asshole.
Giggling to myself, I set off for the front door, happier than I’ve been for a long time.
Today is the longest day on record. Sitting at my desk, I’m thinking of this morning and what tomorrow will bring. I feel confused, the more I overthink it. This whole arrangement is supposed to be casual, yet Kane is becoming very demanding. In the best possible way. I’m not complaining, but our casual is becoming regular where both of us are desperate for the next time we get to meet. I know I’m having trouble keeping this a no-strings-attached affair. There’s part of my heart that already has plans to run to the hardware store and purchase a really thick, strong rope and attach myself to Kane so he can’t ever leave. These thoughts are crazy and dangerous. I’m just setting myself up to get hurt. He was very honest from the beginning on how he feels about a relationship. He was adamant he won’t ever do a normal relationship and we aren’t even talking serious things like marriage and kids. Kane just flatly refuses to get close to a woman to the point where they’re considered a couple. So, it’s not like he wasn’t clear. Why the hell my heart thinks it can take that road anyway is beyond me. Especially when I was clear I was on the same page as Kane. I just want fun, experience and no commitment. My heart was obviously too busy flirting at the back of the class like I used to do in high school. It wasn’t listening to the assignment instructions so is heading off in a completely wrong direction to the objective set.