by Flynn, Poppy
Maybe she had read it all wrong. Perhaps what had seemed so apparent at the time was just a result of her overactive imagination showing her what she so desperately wanted to see.
Except to direct her into his office, Xavier had yet to speak to her. Okay, so he hadn't thrown her out or anything, but he'd hardly opened his arms and enveloped her in heartfelt warmth either.
A shudder rippled through her and she wound her arms around her queasy middle, rocking slightly back and forth. The nervous energy that had her strung as taut as a bow prevented her from being still.
Perhaps this had been a stupid idea and she should just cut her losses before she ended up getting her heart broken and her dreams shattered once more. God! What was she thinking, putting herself through this all over again? Placing herself right in the firing line of a man who may well want to take a few pot shots in retaliation for the ones she had fired at him.
She was just in the process of gathering her belongings when Xavier walked back into the room.
"Going somewhere?" he asked cautiously. In complete antithesis to herself, everything about him was still and guarded.
Grace was flustered. She studied his face, desperate to find something positive which might help her out one way or the other, but his expression was completely unreadable.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have disturbed you," she finally conceded, looking away. "I know you're busy. I'll just leave—"
She took just one small step toward the door before Xavier stopped her. "Stay right where you are!"
Grace obeyed the order without a thought, the command in his voice speaking to her on an intensely personal level that she didn't truly understand.
Xavier strode over to the chair that she had recently vacated and stood behind it, almost as if he were waiting for her to be seated at dinner or something.
Still, she understood the action and settled herself into the chair once more, surprised when Xavier took a second seat right next to her, rather than sitting more intimidatingly behind his desk.
It was a small thing, but it helped her relax in ways she wouldn't even be able to verbalise if she tried.
She wasn't sure she'd be able to verbalise a response to his next question either, but that same demand in his deep, sexy, slightly accented voice made her at least want to try, no matter how hard it seemed.
"Why did you come here today, Grace?"
She swallowed convulsively before she managed to find her voice. "I…got a call." Her words were wooden and stilted, and she twisted the strap on her handbag unconsciously between her fingers.
"From the…donor programme…" she qualified hesitantly, trailing off.
Xavier took her fidgeting hands in his own. How hot they were. How safe and warm and small her own felt wrapped in those strong, tanned fingers. Jeez! What was wrong with her, coming up with such inane drivel at such a crucial time.
"They said…" she had to stop and clear her throat and compose herself before she carried on.
"They said they had a potential match and that…that the donor was a doctor of Spanish descent, who wanted his name made known if that was what I wanted." Now that the words had started, they tumbled out in a rush.
"And is that what you want, Grace?" Xavier asked gently, capturing her gaze intensely with his own. His innate calmness soothed her ruffled edges.
Grace looked into those dark, dark eyes that spoke to her soul in a language she didn't know but understood instinctively. She searched his handsome face for the answers but knew she was still going to have to ask.
She swallowed, her throat so dry that the simple action seemed almost impossible. "I want to know exactly what it means, Xavier," she finally whispered, barely daring to hope.
"It means that I want to be the father of your children, Grace," Xavier replied decisively. "It means that I want you to know who the father of your children is. I want you to have the support that a father should give, and…"
Xavier paused and looked away himself now, and Grace couldn't help raising a palm to his cheek.
"Xavier?" she queried urgently, her voice barely more than a bated breath in the silence of the room.
Xavier turned back and looked her straight in the eye. "And I want your children to know who their father is."
"D-does this mean…" Grace stumbled on the words, scared to give them voice in case her assumptions were wrong.
Xavier lurched forward and clasped her face in his hands. His eyes were so intense and heated that she thought she might burn from the fire that lit them.
"It means that I love you, Grace. It means that I want to make your dreams come true. It means I want to find out if there's still a chance that we can have a future together despite the newness and the misunderstandings and all the things that have gone before."
He crushed her to his chest, burying his face in her hair before he whispered in her ear, "It means that I want to be the father of your children in every sense that you can imagine."
They were quiet for several minutes, just sitting there, desperately clinging together and mired in their own thoughts.
Finally, Xavier leaned away, but only enough to rest his forehead on her own. She could feel the heat of his breath on her mouth, feel the pounding of his heart beneath his shirt, and knew it matched her own.
"And I'd much rather do it the old-fashioned way. But if that's not what you want, then I would at least like you to consider what I'm prepared to offer as a sperm donor. And that includes full support as well as an extended family."
Grace let out a strangled cry and couldn't hold herself back any longer. She dove for his mouth, finding his lips with her own and kissing him with all the passion that had been missing from her life since she had so foolishly sent him away.
Xavier returned the kiss, worshiping her mouth with his own, reflecting the hunger and fervency as their tongues mated in a familiar ritual that negated the need for words.
Eventually, when they both gave in to the need for air, Xavier voiced them anyway. "I take it that's a yes?" he asked huskily, trailing his thumb across her cheekbone, her bottom lip, but never once freeing her from the intensity of his midnight eyes.
"Absolutely, yes!" Grace agreed, peppering quick kisses all over his face. "I love you, Xavier. I don't want to live my life without you. Even the thought of having children seemed somehow empty without you."
"And I love you too, Grace. I couldn't contain the jealousy I felt when I got the letter from the donor programme. It made me realise that I needed to try again to find a way to have you in my life. Even if that involvement stopped at being the father of your child and nothing more."
"I'm sorry I sent you away, Xavi. I was so upset that I let fear get in the way of my judgment when I should have just talked everything through with you," she admitted remorsefully.
"But there never seemed to be any time, and I just got more and more frustrated until it all just erupted into a horrible, ugly scene which could have completely been avoided if I'd just managed to keep my head."
"Ah, sweetheart! It's true that we only hurt the ones we love." Xavier pulled her from the chair and settled her onto his knee, unwilling to have even that small amount of distance between them. "The passion which vibrates between us because of the sadomasochistic characteristics we share makes everything so much more explosive. That's simply our nature. It may not always be easy, but it's one hell of a damn sight better than apathy could ever be." Xavier smiled dotingly, wrapping her in the circle of his arms.
"But, in future, let's try and keep the fireworks contained in the bedroom—or the club—and work harder at communicating outside it, eh?"
"Absolutely!" Grace grinned naughtily. "But before we do that, are you sure you wouldn't like to punish me, here…or maybe in your treatment room, for being such a brat?"
"Topping from the bottom, Grace?" Xavi laughed.
"Oh, no. Not at all." She laughed breathlessly. "But if you did feel that a little, um, correction was in order—"
Grace didn't manage another word before Xavier hefted her over his shoulder and strode toward the door, slapping her on the butt for good measure along the way.
The torment that had besieged each of them was banished, and the future was bright. A weight had been lifted from both of their lives, and their dreams were about to unfold before them, beckoning them into bright and fulfilled dreams of tomorrow, and all they needed to do was follow where those new dreams led. Together.
The End
Poppy Flynn
Poppy Flynn was born in Buckinghamshire, UK and moved to Wales at eight years old with parents who wanted to live the 'self-sufficiency' lifestyle.
Today she still lives in rural Wales and is married with six children.
Poppy's love of reading and writing stemmed from her parents’ encouragement and the fact that they didn't have a television in the house.
"When you're surrounded by fields, cows and sheep, no neighbours, no TV and the closest tiny village is four miles away, there's a certain limit to your options, but with books your adventures and your horizons are endless."
Poppy x
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Don’t miss these exciting titles by Poppy Flynn and Blushing Books!
Club Risqué Series
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Fear’s Whisper – Book Two
Ties That Bind - Book Three
Dark Consequences - Book Four
Friends with Benefits - Book Five
Captive Heart - Book Six
Tormented Dreams - Book Seven
Blushing Books
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