Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori

The hope and excitement of the first moments would always fade away. Emotion deteriorated.

  The same was true of love. Once it hits its peak, it was fated to crumble. No one longed for a love that had gone cold.

  However, Freya didn’t feel that it was pointless.

  That was simply the nature of love, and she was the goddess of love.

  She felt that having a collection on the shelf that was a little too big was somehow just right.

  She hooked a few strands of hair that had fallen to her cheek with her finger, and pulled them back behind her ear.

  Her bare shoulders were showered in moonlight.

  Looking like a girl falling in love for the first time, she continued watching Bell with loving eyes.

  “…However, yes. It might be about time for you to learn magic.”

  Tap. She hit her finger on her chin as she thought out loud.

  After tilting her neck, deep in thought, something came to mind. She took her eyes off the boy far below and walked away from the window.

  Freya’s Eyes of Insight couldn’t decipher statuses given by other gods or goddesses, but she could infer their strengths and abilities by their color and brightness.

  She could tell by looking at Bell that he had no magic. Freya felt this was a flaw.

  She decided to act, and quickly.

  “I wonder if this will do?”

  A heavily adorned bookcase stood in the corner of her room. It was very wide and tall, so much so that it would cover her body if it fell over.

  Her thin finger reached for the middle shelf and pulled out a thick book by the spine. It fell into her waiting arm with a thud.

  Thumbing through the pages, Freya made a satisfied nod.

  “Ottar.”

  “Ma’am.”

  A rigid voice responded to Freya’s call.

  A person had either been standing inside the room the entire time or was just outside the main door.

  Boar-like ears stood out above short, rust-colored hair. This male animal person stood more than two meters tall and had a body as solid as a rock.

  He stood like a statue next to Freya, a guard dog waiting for his master’s commands.

  “I want you to take this book…”

  She was about to hold out the book when her words trailed off.

  Closing her mouth, she looked down at the book in her arms.

  “Does something trouble you?”

  “Hee-hee, no, it’s nothing. Please forget it.”

  “Ma’am.”

  Ottar gave a short nod and took a step back as Freya smiled at the book.

  That’s right. It wasn’t necessary for her treasured servant to deliver the book directly.

  Plus, if this behemoth were to show up silently in front of Bell and attempt to give him a book, the boy would be terrified. While entertaining to think about, it wouldn’t do.

  There was no need to place it in his hands. He merely had to take it.

  She knew just where to leave it.

  It would be right where she first saw him, on the big street where they’d “met.”

  There was a certain bar very close.

  If the book were there, it would end up in his hands for sure.

  In the dark stillness of the room, her servant watched as Freya turned to the window wall, laughing quietly to herself.

  “Ah-choo!”

  Syr let out a cute little sneeze.

  She blushed behind her hands, covering her mouth. All of the staff in the bar around her stopped what they were doing to look her way. Syr’s face got even redder, and she looked at the floor.

  “Syr, have you caught a cold?”

  “N-no. I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”

  Syr forced a smile through her rosy cheeks in response to the elf Lyu’s question.

  Syr’s blue-gray hair was tied into its usual style, a bun with a ponytail in the middle. Her ponytail shook as she waved her hands, trying to convince the elf she was okay.

  “Maybe someone’s talking about you?”

  “The answer’s obvious! Mya-ha-ha, it’s that adventurer boy, meow!”

  “You’re going to make me angry, Chloe.”

  Syr hung her shoulders, glaring at the catgirl who wore a very feline grin on her face.

  The girl named Chloe did nothing in response, simply staring back with that same smile. Moreover, she was moving one of the bar’s tables and playfully whipping her tail back and forth under her skirt.

  Syr let out a heavy sigh.

  “But that adventurer didn’t come in last night!”

  “Even though he always returns the empty basket after eating Syr’s lovey-dovey lunch, meow!”

  “Syr even opened early and looked for him, meow!”

  “I didn’t go looking for him!”

  All of the staff was setting up tables to prepare for the day, but they took turns teasing the human girl from all sides. Syr yelled at them from the middle of the bar, but the girls showed no signs of learning their lesson. They continued circling her like cockroaches, the same grin on their faces.

  “Do not worry, Syr. Mr. Cranell is not the type of man who would neglect your feelings for him. I’m positive he was just late coming out of the Dungeon and didn’t have time last night.”

  “If that’s supposed to make me feel better, Lyu…No, never mind, I give up.”

  The elf watched in confusion as Syr got frustrated. “It’s just a misunderstanding,” said Syr, but the always serious Lyu didn’t seem to understand.

  Syr had been making lunch for Bell every day since she first gave him her own lunch. She didn’t really know why, but everyone around her had come to this conclusion.

  Bell usually returned the basket at night after eating the lunch in the Dungeon. However, he hadn’t shown up the previous night. And now this morning she was getting teased by her coworkers.

  “You don’t think he bit the dust, do you, meow?”

  “You shouldn’t say that, Ahnya. You’re being imprudent. That adventurer would never leave Syr behind!”

  “I’m tired of this…”

  “Syr, hold yourself together. I’m sure Mr. Cranell is fine.”

  “No, Lyu, that’s not what I meant…”

  “What Lyu said, meow! That boy’s too strong to die! If he did, my heart will be torn apart…”

  Suddenly all the girls started talking at once.

  “No way…” “Chloe, too…?” and other phrases of disbelief were muttered in every corner of the bar.

  A very frustrated and confused Syr turned left and right saying, “Eh? What?”

  “He is irreplaceable, meow! You couldn’t find another like him anywhere.”

  “Chloe…? What are you saying?”

  The catgirl looked to the sky as she spoke. Now Syr really had no clue.

  The catgirl took her eyes off the ceiling and planted them firmly on Syr.

  “Syr, I need to make a confession…”

  “A-and that is…?”

  “I…sure do like his tight li’l bod! His booty turns meow on…!”

  “……”

  “When I think about the ripe fruit inside his thin pants…mya-ha-ha! Ah, all the dirty things I would do…! I want—Oww! Ouch—!”

  “……”

  “A…wait—Oww, s-sorry! I give up! Uncle!”

  All the other employees stopped what they were doing and rushed to stop Syr.

  The Benevolent Mistress had been filled with an unusual amount of noise this morning.

  “Oi! You dim-witted lasses! Quit playin’! Back t’ workin’!”

  The owner Mia’s voice boomed from the backroom door as she looked over the girls’ lack of progress.

  The “dim-witted lasses” jumped in surprise before hurriedly returning to their duties. “Of all the…” the dwarf woman started to say as she shrugged her shoulders.

  “……Hmm? Syr, what’s that?”

  “Huh?”

  Syr’s human coworker pointed behind her, and s
he spun around to look.

  It was at the counter, right where Syr had prepared a special place for Bell the first time he’d visited The Benevolent Mistress.

  On the chair where Bell had sat that night was a book.

  “What’s this…?”

  “Someone dropped it?” “What’s that, meow?” “Something wrong, meow?”

  Syr picked up the book with both hands, her coworkers peering over her shoulders to get a look for themselves.

  “I’m not clever enough to read, meow.” “Me too, meow.”

  “Yes, I know, so shut up.”

  “Why I oughta—”

  “Syr, what is it?”

  “There’s a book here…It’s not one of ours. Maybe a customer left it behind?”

  “Ohh…? It wasn’t there last night…”

  “Right, right! Runoa’s mistake, mistake, meow! If it’s not a customer’s book, what would that mean, meow? Somebody snuck into the bar and left it there, meow? The idea’s so full of holes, me feels sick…”

  “As always, the idiot with useless knowledge, meow…”

  “What?! I’ll cut you!”

  Ignoring the commotion behind them, Lyu and Syr took a closer look at the book. Completely white and very thick, it smelled like old paper.

  It was lined with many undecipherable figures and patterns. There was no title.

  “…Wait a moment. This—”

  Lyu realized something, but before she could get it into words, Mama Mia’s roar of anger filled the room.

  “How many times ya gonna make me say somethin’?! Words not good enough for ya?! Time for this dwarfess t’ beat some discipline into y’all!”

  Everyone froze with fear.

  “W-wait, Mama, meow! We found something suspicious, meow!”

  “This! This here!”

  “Syr, hurry up and show her already!”

  “Huh? Somethin’ suspicious?”

  Ushered on by peer pressure, Syr gave an “Um, okay…” and stepped a few paces forward, the rest of the girls behind her. Syr’s blue-gray hair shaking, she showed a very serious-looking Mia the book in her hands.

  “Mama Mia, it looks like someone left this book behind by accident. What should we do about it?”

  “…Whaaa?”

  The entire staff watched with bated breath as Mia thoroughly looked over both Syr and the book with a deep scowl on her face.

  …?

  Lyu couldn’t understand why Mia would have that look on her face. It was because the dwarfess had once been an adventurer herself and could still run with the best of them. But Lyu had never seen Mia wear this expression before.

  As the elf tried to make sense of it all, Mia’s sharp eyes hadn’t left the book. She then gave instructions to Syr in a voice so gruff it was more suitable for a battlefield than a peaceful café.

  “…Put it somewhere it can be seen. If the owner’s not an idiot, they’ll realize it’s gone and come lookin’ for it.”

  “Yes, understood.”

  After Syr lowered her head in a polite bow, the staff scattered.

  The fear of this new kind of anger in Mama Mia’s eyes drove them to work harder than ever.

  Lyu stopped for a moment when she happened to see two of her coworkers having a friendly chat, but sighed and got back to work by herself.

  “Mr. Bell! Look out! Your feet!”

  “Huh?”

  Lilly’s scream hits my ears.

  We’re currently on the seventh level. I was about to dive into a killer ant with the Divine Knife in my hand, so my reply was a little clumsy.

  I’ve slain so many monsters on this level that it’s basically become my playground. I was so confident that I didn’t realize what was happening.

  “—Kiihiii!!!!!”

  “?!”

  I knew what she was talking about right away.

  A needle rabbit.

  The rabbitlike monster with tusks growing out of its cheeks crept up to me in my blind spot. The tusks often become very valuable drop items used to make weapons, but if those bloodred protrusions hit me, I’ll be lucky to escape with my life.

  It’s making a beeline for my left leg, its eyes glaring red.

  “Keh!”

  I just planted that foot so I can’t dodge! Being in the middle of an all-out run, my right leg’s safe from the monster’s attack but swimming uselessly in the air.

  I quickly bend my left knee.

  The only armor plates on my lower body are protecting my knees. It’s a last-ditch effort to block the needle rabbit’s attack. Just as I had hoped, the monster’s tusk hits the plate and bounces off.

  SHING! The sound of bone on metal reverberates in my ears as pain shoots through my body.

  The rabbit passes by with a high-pitched metallic clang, but my balance is completely broken.

  “Gyaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

  Great timing…like it saw that coming.

  My original target sees the opening and is charging me along with his friend.

  I’ve slain dozens of these killer ants in the past few days. I took on four of them at once at one point.

  When it was just one, I didn’t think much of my enemy. Now there are two.

  As a result, now there are four sets of merciless claws heading right for my eyes.

  “Keehhh!”

  Guard! I snap my left arm, equipped with my green vambrace, in front of my face just in time to block the attack.

  The protector is very durable, and there’s not a scratch on it. But the impact of the blow not only shoots waves of pain through my arm, my whole body shoots off to the side.

  I don’t spin at all. Landing gracefully on the balls of my feet, I slide straight back, my protector still in front of my face.

  It’s the other killer ant’s turn now, and it’s charging!

  Oh, shi—

  I’ll be pinned down!

  Once it plows into me at full force, holds my limbs down with four of its legs, and skewers me with its claws, there’ll be no hope of escape. The killer ant’s body is like armor, and just as heavy.

  Eina warned me about this.

  With my thin body type, getting pinned is the same as defeat.

  —Ah.

  This is the second time.

  This feeling of an unavoidable death, the same as when I fought the Minotaur.

  Body shivering, cowering in fear. Can’t breathe. Time standing still.

  The killer ant’s hideous mouth suddenly opens.

  I can see sickening rows of teeth, all dripping with saliva.

  My mind goes blank. All that’s left is to absorb the incoming blow, and I brace myself for impact.

  “NO—!”

  The next moment, Lilly’s high-pitched yell and a ball of flame fly in from beside me.

  “Huh?!”

  “Degggyaaaaaa!!!!”

  “Mr. Bell!”

  Time comes back to me as the fireball hits the killer ant’s head, and it lets out a scream of anguish.

  The Divine Knife in my right hand flickers to life as if responding to Lilly’s call.

  “Gyuu?”

  “Yeeeaaahhhhhhhhh!”

  Slash! The killer ant’s flaming head flies off with a very satisfying sound. I roll forward to engage the other one, aiming for a one-hit kill.

  My blade pierces its armor, splitting it in two. But I don’t have time to watch it pop, because the needle rabbit is coming in from behind. Drawing my second blade, I counter the advance with a strike to its head.

  “Gii. Gaah…”

  “…Hah-haaaaaa!”

  I exhale the breath that’s been stuck in my throat, now that all monsters in the room lay slain on the ground.

  Breaking out in a cold sweat that’s much too late, I hunch over and wipe my face.

  I almost bit the dust there.

  My heart’s beating like mad inside my ribs. I try to smooth out my staggered breathing with the pulse beating in my ears.

  “Mr. Bell! Are you hurt?�
�

  “…Lil-ly. Thank you, you saved my life…”

  The tension in my body leaves as I see her running up to me. Once she reaches me, I plop my butt down on the floor.

  “That was careless! It was a dangerous situation, but Mr. Bell made it worse!”

  “Sorry…”

  I have no words to defend myself.

  I got too comfortable, and it made me overconfident.

  I thought I could take out the two of them in one shot, and I underestimated them.

  Just like the books—and Eina—said. As long as I took them one at a time, it wouldn’t matter if a needle rabbit suddenly jumped in. This wouldn’t have happened.

  Now I know the real terror of the Dungeon: Nothing is certain.

  If I had made one wrong move, or if Lilly hadn’t been there, I’d be dead right now.

  A shiver rolls down my spine with that thought, making my whole body shake. I’m burning this feeling into my memory. Careless decisions lead to deadly consequences.

  I only half hear Lilly’s latest lecture and let out a long sigh.

  “Are you listening, Mr. Bell?”

  “Ahh, yes, sorry…I’m reflecting on my decisions. I’ll never do that again…”

  “Mr. Bell does look like he regrets his actions. In that case, Lilly will keep her mouth shut. It’ll be Mr. Bell’s responsibility if he doesn’t learn anything from this.”

  I make one big nod, promising her I’ll remember, and stand up.

  I’m about to thank her one more time for saving me when I remember something important.

  “Lilly, you used magic just now, right?”

  “…eh?”

  Lilly flinched when I pointed that out.

  “Was that by any chance a magic sword? So that’s how you saved me…Really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I feel so happy right now.”

  “…! L-Lilly didn’t save Mr. Bell because she wanted to! Without Mr. Bell, Lilly wouldn’t get any money and she’d have to find a new contract! Don’t get the wrong idea!”

  “…What are you talking about, Lilly?”

  How am I supposed to respond to something like that? Lilly’s eyes widen when she sees the look of confusion on my face. “What is Lilly saying…?” she mutters under her breath as she pulls her hood forward, grabbing her head. Yep, she’s lost me…

  “Umm…You have a magic sword, Lilly?”

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, one thing led to another and it just sort of fell into Lilly’s lap, you see…”