Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 2

by Fujino Omori

  “A Guild inspector will come today. Even if you make a mistake, don’t do anything stupid, newbie.”

  “Yes, sir!”

  Hestia returned to her post after the half-dwarf store manager finished his lecture.

  Hestia had learned much about how to work with store employees who didn’t treat her as the goddess she was. Her twin black ponytails swished lightly from side to side as she set to work.

  Her main job was to interact with customers, so she was the one to greet the Guild inspector. When the inspector arrived, she looked like a half-elf Hestia had seen somewhere before.

  “Ah, aren’t you…”

  “I have come here on behalf of the Guild. My name is Eina Tulle. I am here to conduct an inspection, as scheduled.”

  Eina greeted her very professionally. Hestia thought about it for a moment but dismissed it as common sense and led her into the shop.

  Keeping her visit completely by the book, after introducing herself to the store manager, Eina pulled out a piece of parchment and a pen before walking around the shop.

  “Goddess Hestia.”

  “Eh?”

  “I would like to speak with you. Do you have a moment?”

  While looking over weapon racks and the magic-stone air-conditioning, Eina made her way to Hestia’s side. She spoke in a low voice and never made eye contact. Hestia was a bit surprised at first, but then took a quick look around before casually filling her role as guide and leading Eina into a corner.

  “I’m surprised you’d approach me like that. You plan for everything, don’t you, Ms. Adviser.”

  “Sorry to trouble you.”

  The two of them continued their conversation while pretending to work, never looking at each other.

  In response to Eina’s “Do you have a moment,” Hestia shook a weapons rack to cover her as she nodded yes.

  “I have information concerning the supporter employed by Mr. Bell Cranell.”

  Hestia’s hands stopped as a shiver ran up her spine, making her shoulders twitch. She turned to face Eina.

  “I’m going to tell you about the Familia she belongs to, so please listen well.”

  The more Eina told her about what she’d learned last night at Loki Familia, the tenser Hestia’s expression became.

  Even though the possibility of her being under the influence of Soma was rather low, the supporter working with Bell might have had another motive—like depriving him of all his possessions—when she’d approached him.

  Eina said that she would encourage Bell to break off all interaction with said supporter before something serious happened.

  “Goddess Hestia, can I ask you to convince him for me?”

  Eina looked down at the goddess with her emerald-green eyes.

  Hestia looked back at her, speechless.

  Since leaving Bell behind, Lilly had stayed on one clear path straight to the upper levels. She cleared the tenth level and ninth level with no trouble at all before arriving on the eighth-level floor.

  Lilly knew every twist and turn of the Dungeon down to the eleventh level like the back of her hand.

  Her method for relieving adventurers of their valuables was, like she had just done to Bell, to create a diversion and make her move during the ensuing commotion before making her escape—before the mark even noticed she was gone.

  However, if they caught up to her, it was all for naught. The only way she had to avoid this was to memorize the dungeon maps sold at the Guild.

  Even if she encountered monsters, she had become an expert at leading said monsters to other adventurers and letting them take care of it. In fact, that was about all she did.

  Once she got to the surface, all she had to do was return to her normal self and sell off the goods. There was no way any of her victims could catch up at that point.

  Alone, she could do nothing. But with a bit of planning and a vicious mind-set, Lilly had tricked many adventurers.

  Her reason for stealing from adventurers? To put it simply, revenge.

  She decided that she’d take back what was once hers from the people who had tormented her all of her life. She had repeatedly bared her fangs at members of Soma Familia.

  She felt no remorse for her actions; it was her right as the victim.

  All adventurers were adventurers. That had always been her reasoning, and that was never going to change.

  …Everything so far had been the same, until she felt cruel looking away from one boy’s face.

  Now that it’s mine, Lilly almost has enough money…

  She had no interest in Soma. Actually, quite the opposite—she hated it. A piece of her had a grudge against it as well.

  Even just the smell of it might make her fall under its spell again, make her go crazy like an animal.

  Therefore, this money was going toward her salvation.

  Someday, she was going to trade a large sum of money for her release from Soma Familia.

  The point was, Lilly was a possession of the god Soma. She tried to get the Guild involved, but they didn’t have the resources to help her and did nothing. The only thing she could do was convince Soma to let her go by offering an extraordinarily large amount of money in exchange for her freedom.

  She made up her mind; she would get her freedom with her own two hands.

  “Hmmm!”

  Lilly came to a halt as she stepped into some tall grass.

  An eighth-level goblin was walking around in front of the only exit from this room, directly in front of her.

  There were no signs of other adventurers. The goblin blocked her path. Even if she tried to sneak around it, she couldn’t go forward.

  Doubling back and taking another route would take far too long.

  While Bell surely had his hands full with the onslaught of monsters heading his direction and wouldn’t be able to pursue her at top speed, there were other dangers in the Dungeon. Time was of the essence, so Lilly decided to break through.

  “Lilly’s not built for this kind of roughhousing, yeah?” said Lilly under her breath as she rolled up the right sleeve of her cream-colored robe.

  She pulled out a small handheld bow gun.

  The magic sword would be wasted on a goblin!

  Stepping forward with her right leg, she leveled the bow gun at the monster.

  Prums in general were known for having amazing eyesight. Lilly’s round chestnut eyes zeroed in on the goblin, lining it up dead center. The monster finally noticed her as well.

  “Bah—ffftt!”

  A golden arrow shot out of the bow gun with frightening speed.

  The arrow carved through the air and bore straight into the goblin’s right eye.

  “GiGYAAAAAAA!!!!!!”

  “Excuse me!”

  The goblin screamed out in pain, clutching its eye as Lilly used the opportunity to scurry by the monster and to the exit.

  Lilly could fight, too, as long as she had a strategy. However, she had to rely completely on weapons and items. Slaying a single monster did not justify the amount of money required to take it down, not by a long shot.

  Lilly only fought against monsters in self-defense.

  “Lilly’s jealous of Mr. Bell. He could do everything by himself!”

  Starting with her magic, Cinder Ella, Lilly’s strengths were not suited for combat. Lilly was very weak physically.

  She gained her magic shortly after swearing revenge against adventurers, and hoped that it would transform her into something stronger than her weak self. She was extremely depressed when she learned the truth about it.

  However, she soon learned how to use it in a different way to exact revenge. She pushed her magic to its limits and figured out what it could really do.

  As proof of its power, her magic allowed her to consistently steal many items, using the same strategy on many adventurers.

  Lilly had become powerful enough to laugh at the weakling she once was.

  And…seventh level!

  She made her way u
p the staircase jutting out of the wall, to the next floor up.

  Lilly kept her speed up as she raced past the light green dungeon walls.

  After this floor, the rest is a piece of cake.

  In terms of the monsters, the seventh level was the last mountain she needed to climb. It was too early to lose focus.

  After this floor, she could handle everything on her own. Her lips started to curve into a smile as she bolted into the next room.

  “Ain’t this a surprise. I’ve hit the jackpot.”

  “Eh?”

  It happened when she came out of a small corridor and into a room.

  A leg appeared from the side and caught Lilly’s short body just under her knee.

  Her balance gone, Lilly fell face-first onto the dungeon floor.

  Wha…what was that…?

  Dazed and confused, she put her hand into the dirt to push herself up. That’s when a long shadow fell over her.

  She was yanked up before she could turn around; half a second later a boot was slammed into her nose.

  “Gyhaaa?!”

  “I’d better be gettin’ an apology, ya piece-of-shit prum!”

  A powerful fist nailed her left cheek. A river of blood flowed from her nose.

  Just as her eyes were beginning to focus, she took another kick to the chest. Her oversized backpack dislodged from her shoulders, rolling backward like a snowball.

  The next hit wasn’t far behind—the heel of a boot bore into the small of her back.

  “—hhhh?!”

  Her body bounced off the floor like a ball, bouncing once, twice.

  Lilly was swept up in a whirlpool of pain as her body finally came to a halt.

  “Ah…! Gahaahaa…!!”

  “Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! That’s a good look for ya! Plastered in blood and dirt!”

  With the world spinning around her, Lilly finally caught a glimpse of the voice’s owner.

  It was a human adventurer. The same one who’d been talking to Bell yesterday. Her former employer.

  The man’s jaw was pointing at the ceiling as he looked down on her with a sneer.

  “Thought it was about time for ya to throw away that kid. I wet up a net for ya. Been dyin’ to say hello!”

  “A…net?”

  “The Dungeon is huge. Waitin’ for ya by myself woulda been as borin’ as lookin’ for a needle in a haystack. Got myself some partners, increased my chances.”

  The Dungeon itself was extremely large; the floors below level five were wider than Central Park. Despite its size, there were only three or four ways to get this far down.

  The man had stationed his partners at each of the pathways and waited for her arrival.

  Of the four, Lilly had chosen the route that the man was watching.

  “Couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that white-haired kid running around with a runt…Don’t tell me, the kid had something that made yer eyes go all a-twitter? Are ya dense?”

  “…!”

  “But I don’t care ’bout that. Before I tear you limb from limb as a thank-you for stealing my sword, think I’ll make you play along…!”

  He declared with a sadistic twinge in his eyes that he would take everything from her.

  Lilly did her best to cup her still-bleeding nose as the man ripped off her robe, causing everything inside to fall to the ground. She was now wearing only her underclothes, unable to do anything to resist him.

  “Magic stones, a gold watch…Hey, hey! You had a magic sword?! Haaa-ha-ha-ha-ha! So ya stole this, too, eh?”

  The man was overjoyed by his discovery.

  His mood improved greater still when he saw a knife with a glossy shine.

  Spinning the crimson knife in one hand, a dark smile grew on his lips.

  “Hee-hee-hee-hee…All right, I’ll let you off the hook, ya piece-of-shit prum. After gettin’ a present like this from ya, I’ll show ya a bit of mercy. Nice guy, ain’t I?…Hyaa!”

  “Ahgg…!”

  Two swift kicks to the stomach and Lilly was reeling in pain.

  This is bad, this is bad, this is bad. Lilly’s heart raced inside her small chest, her brain in all-out panic mode.

  She knew at that moment that if she didn’t get away now, she would meet a miserable fate at the hands of this man’s brutality.

  Just as she took in a deep breath, another man’s voice came from somewhere distant.

  “You certainly went all out, Master Gedo.”

  A new person was coming toward them.

  “…?!”

  Looking in the direction of the new voice, Lilly saw someone she recognized.

  He was one of the adventurers who’d tried to get money out of her the other day. Just one of the many members of Soma Familia who had tried to do the same thing many times before.

  Then it came to her. The man’s partners were members of Soma Familia. Most likely, after talking with Bell, he had seen them arguing with her and decided to ask them for assistance.

  “Get this, Kanu. The runt had a magic sword! Just as ya thought, looks like she’s been stealin’ all over the place. Ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  “…Is that so?”

  An adult male animal person, the one called Kanu, narrowed his cloudy, dark eyes at the happy man, the adventurer called Gedo. But Gedo was in such a good mood that he didn’t notice.

  “Master Gedo, I have a suggestion…”

  “What’s that? Hand it over? Hey, now, I caught the prum, I should have first dibs on—”

  “That’s not quite it. Not just the magic sword, but everything you took from her. I suggest you leave it all on the ground.”

  “Huh?” Gedo looked at his partner with a confused smile. Before he could ask any questions, however, Kanu pulled something out from behind him and threw it. It landed just in front of Lilly.

  “KEEEEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lilly screamed. “K-killer ant…?!”

  It was only the top half, making it easier to carry. The bloody mess was still oozing purple liquid from many gashes all over its body; it had likely been slain only a few minutes ago. No, not slain. Its mouth was still moving; an arm twitched in agony.

  “You might have thought at first that all of us were hunting together. There’s a chance that Master Gedo, who has conquered many floors, is stronger than we are. So the three of us put our heads together and came up with this plan here.”

  Plop, plop. Two more barely alive killer-ant bodies landed close to them.

  Two more adventurers had arrived in the room from separate entrances, both of them working with Kanu. The three masses of dying ant let out cries that united to create eerie echoes throughout the room, like a curse from another world.

  Both Gedo’s and Lilly’s faces turned pale.

  Killer ants released a special pheromone when they were close to death. It was a call for help, and other killer ants would answer.

  The three balls of still-breathing ant flesh had been releasing the pheromone for some time. The room had become a ticking time bomb.

  “Are you serious?!!” Gedo said.

  There were three ants in that state calling for help. Just how many of their friends would answer?

  The expressions on Kanu’s and his allies’ faces were surprisingly calm and unchanging, even during Gedo’s screaming.

  Only Lilly correctly understood the adventurer’s irrational obsession with money, having been under the influence of Soma herself.

  “You don’t want to become their prey while you’re fighting with us, now do you, Master?”

  “Hyee?!”

  Five killer ants poked their heads into the room entrance behind Gedo.

  This room had four entrances. Kanu and his cronies were standing in front of three of them; the last one now had killer ants in the way. Gedo gritted his teeth, shaking in a mixture of fear and anger. His pale face hardened as he threw everything he’d taken from Lilly to the ground.

  “Damn! Damn you all!!!”

  Kanu grinned as he stepped aside
to allow the man to pass. Gedo took one last look around the room before running past him.

  Not a moment later, a barbaric roar erupted from the corridor, followed by the sound of a sword clang. After that, silence.

  A shell-shocked Lilly had no way to see what happened; there was a wall of giant ants between her and the exit.

  “Gii…!!”

  “?!”

  A killer ant stepped in front of Lilly as the room was flooded with the monsters.

  Her injured body wouldn’t move like she wanted it to, and she couldn’t get out of the way of the monster’s incoming claws.

  Blood suddenly sprayed into the air.

  The injured killer ant fell to the floor.

  “Are you okay, Erde?”

  “Mister…Kanu…”

  Kanu looked down on the girl, his mouth nothing more than an upward rip in his face and a purple blood–splattered sword resting on his shoulder.

  “I came for you, to save you. We are in the same Familia, after all.”

  Lilly bit her lip and clenched her fists as the man in front of her spoke like some kind of hero.

  His partners were holding the killer ants back, for now.

  “That’s right, we all came for you, Erde. In this desperate situation, we didn’t abandon you, see?”

  “…Yes.”

  “…You know what I’m saying, yeah?”

  He wrapped his arm behind Lilly’s shoulder as he spoke. His tone sounded as though he were acting in a play rather than facing death.

  His eyes might have been looking at Lilly’s quivering body, but in reality he didn’t see her.

  All he could see was money—to be more specific, the Soma that the money would get him.

  Kanu’s expression was calm and collected, but on the inside he was overwhelmed with anxiety.

  “Hey, speed it up! We can’t hold them!” said one crony.

  “I know!” Kanu looked to Lilly. “You, yesterday you said you had no money. Drop the act. If you try to pull something like that again…”

  “Okay! Okay-okay-okay…!”

  Seeing the direness of her situation, Lilly nodded with a defeated look on her face.

  She had no time to be angry, so Lilly grabbed a small key that was hidden as part of a necklace and held it out to him.

  “The hell is this?”

  “A key to a gnome rental storage unit in Orario’s eastern ward…”