by K E Osborn
“It’s all good, I don’t mind you throwing yourself at me.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she rolls her eyes and shakes her head. I know I should probably let her go, but I’m enjoying the feelings that come with having my hands on her. She looks up at me and we’re so close that I can feel the sparks shooting between us. The mutual attraction is still definitely there and all I want to do is lean in and kiss her right now, but I won’t. I don’t want her to leave, and she might if I do that.
“Thanks for catching me,” she says breathlessly as she looks up into my eyes. Her blue sparkling eyes are staring at me and I know she’s feeling everything I am right now. I can tell by the way she’s inching closer to me.
“I will always catch you, Indi.”
She smiles and breaks eye contact just as the chemistry was sizzling out of control. I’m still holding onto her arms and she hasn’t made any attempt to free herself from my grip. I loosen my hold on her and open my arms slightly seeing if she’ll take the hint and hug me. She swallows hard and looks back into my eyes.
“If you wanted a hug you could just ask for one you know?”
I smirk and chew on my lip. “Can I have a hug?”
“No,” she says and my heart thumps hard in my chest.
“I’m kidding, you big dick,” she says and then leans forward wrapping herself tightly around my torso and nuzzling her head into my chest. I instantly feel warmth running through me as I wrap my arms around her and snuggle my head into her flowery scented hair. She smells incredible and my cock twitches again.
Down boy!
“I’m sorry about being late. We had a patient go into cardiac arrest and I couldn’t leave until he was stable,” she says as she nuzzles into me further.
“You were late? I hadn’t noticed,” I say trying to sound upbeat and blasé about it, so she doesn’t realise how secretly panicked I really was.
She pulls back, but I keep my arms wrapped around her tightly. I can’t let her go just yet. I feel warm like I’m home when she’s touching me and I honestly don’t know how I can ever give this feeling up.
“So what are we doing tonight?” she asks and I bring my hand up and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
“Well, I was thinking we could go for a walk, and maybe sit down and catch up on what we’ve been doing the last six years?”
“Sounds good to me. Have you still got that old car that you used to have? Bessy I think her name was, right?” she asks and I chuckle and shake my head.
“Oh, good ole Bessy. She was a beauty. No, now my sweet lady I have a beast. Wait till you meet Swartzy,” I say and she raises an eyebrow and looks at me smirking.
“Swartzy?”
“Yeah, named after Schwarzenegger. My car is like the Terminator, it terminates all other cars on the road leaving them for dust,” I say trying not to laugh.
She bites her bottom lip. I’d like to bite that bottom lip! She looks like she’s trying not to laugh.
“Seriously? That’s what you named your car?”
Shrugging. “Nah, I just made that shit up on the spot. I really should name my car though, I pretty much just call her my baby.”
She throws her head back and laughs loudly. “You really are a dick. C’mon, show me your baby then.”
I finally let her go and turn around and walk toward my Lexus. She follows next to me, I desperately want to grab her hand, but I decide not to.
“So how was work? Did the flat-liner live?”
She chuckles. “Yes, he did, for now. The rest of the day was fine too. What did you do today?” she asks and I take a deep breath.
Think about you all day and panic about what to wear, so you’d find me irresistible!
“Oh, nothing much, just relaxing after last night,” I lie as I walk up to the car and click the button to unlock her.
“Holy shit, Caleb. This is your car?”
I laugh and raise an eyebrow. “What, I can’t have a nice car?”
“Umm…of course, I just wasn’t expecting this,” she says gesturing with her hands. I open the door for her and she slides onto the low seat then I move around the car and get in. I glance across and watch as she’s running her hand over the elegant interior like it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
I want to run my hands all over you like that, Indi!
“So have you eaten?” I ask and she nods and looks across at me.
“Yeah, I had a dinner break at five.”
“Right, so just want to go for a walk then?” I ask and she nods. I smile and turn on the ignition to start the short drive down to the river.
The car ride is a silent one, but I can feel the energy pulsing between us. The attraction is still there. I don’t know how she feels or where she wants this to go, but in my eyes if I don’t at least attempt to kiss her I’ll feel like a failure.
I pull up into the car park and turn off the ignition. There’s tension in the air that’s so thick you could cut it with a knife. It’s an awkward tension like neither of us knows what to say, mixed with the feeling of wanting to lean over and rip each other’s clothes off. It’s unnerving and I’m not really sure how to handle it. I open my door and get out without saying anything. I walk around to open hers, but she’s already stepping out before I can reach her. I exhale and place my hand at the small of her back as I catch up with her. She jolts at my touch, like my hand on her back just gave her an electric shock or something. I drop it and start the walk over to the footpath by the edge of the river. She follows keeping the same pace as me.
“So you wanted to talk? What’s with all the awkward silence?” she asks out of the blue breaking the weirdness between us. I chuckle and look across at her as she looks down at the pavement and walks slowly.
“I do want to talk. I just don’t know what you want to talk about,” I say and she looks up at me.
“I guess things between us were left in a pretty bad way. I’ve missed you, and I know you’ve missed me too by all the phone calls over the last six years—”
“Why didn’t you answer?” I interrupt. She immediately looks back down at the pavement.
“What was the point, Caleb? It doesn’t change anything. I don’t want a serious relationship and you do. I can’t trust us together, and I certainly can’t trust you with all the women that will be throwing themselves at you from now on.”
“Indi, I know you don’t want a relationship. I get that. I think it’s silly to think that we would end up like them, but I understand your fears. As for any other women, Indi, you’re the only one in the world that I want. If I were with you, my world would be about you. Nothing, not even six years apart has stopped the way I feel about you,” I tell her honestly and stop walking and turn to face her. She stops and turns to face me, but keeps her eyes down on the ground. “Indi look, I don’t want to scare you. I’ve only just managed to get you back in my life. I would never hurt you intentionally. You mean too much to me.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t be who you want me to be, Caleb. It’s not in me to be involved with someone, or if I do get involved, it’s never a serious thing. What you want from me, I’m incapable of giving it to you—”
“Then how about friendship? Can you give me that?” She finally looks up at me and I see her swallow hard.
“I can try,” she replies and turns to start walking again.
I blink and smile slightly then step off to keep up with her. “When you left, why didn’t you say goodbye?”
She exhales and looks back to the ground. “I don’t want to talk about that, Caleb. That was a terrible time for me.”
I stop walking again taking her hand to halt her. She huffs and turns to look at me as I take both her hands in mine. “I know, Indi. I know how horrible it was. I was there. Talk to me. Tell me what happened and let me make us right again,” I say and she tightens her hands in mine and smiles.
“We’re doing okay as we are. We don’t need to drag up old painful memories. Let’s jus
t enjoy tonight, okay?” She then turns away breaking one set of hands apart, but the other still joins us. She starts to walk and I expect her to let my hand go, but she holds on tighter interlacing our fingers. I smile and walk along with her holding her hand and thinking that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to get that kiss after all.
We walk a little further until we find a small grassy patch so we sit down and talk some more. The conversation shifted from the intense to something funnier. I was telling her all about Annie and Aston and she thought it was hilarious that Colt said he would castrate Aston. Poor kid.
“I can’t believe he actually said he would castrate him. I mean Colt was always so nice to me, I can’t imagine him being so overbearing,” she says and I throw my head back and laugh a massive belly laugh.
“Seriously, have you met, Colt? He is the biggest tyrant I’ve ever known,” I say and she raises an eyebrow.
“Really? I always thought he was sweet. He was always nice to me, but I guess I’m not family. I suppose he’d be stricter on his family,” she says and I laugh while looking out across the twinkling river. The night has set in and the moon is full sending shades of purple and blue all over the still water. It’s so beautiful. I gaze across at Indi’s face in the subtle light from the lamp post nearby and study her features. Her beautiful big doe eyes, her cute little button nose and those dimples that make me weak. She’s even more beautiful than I remember and I honestly can’t think of anything better than this moment.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asks with a hint of a smirk.
I shake my head and realise I was actually staring at her. God, I’m such a twat.
“Sorry, I can’t help it,” I say honestly as I lean in closer so our arms are touching.
She exhales and looks out at the water. “I’m still the same person, Caleb. I haven’t changed.”
I look down at her gorgeous body, which has filled out perfectly and shake my head.
“You’ve changed Indi, trust me, you’ve changed,” I say and she glances sideways at me.
“In a good way, I hope?”
“In a very good way.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s the truth.”
“No, I mean thank you for this…for tonight. I was so caught up in the pain of us, that I didn’t remember the fun we used to have together. So thank you for not making tonight about making us as a couple. Thank you for understanding and not pushing me into something I don’t want for us,” she says and a sharp pain rips through my chest, but I hide it with a small smile.
“I’d do anything to see you happy and having fun, Indi,” I say wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her side into mine. She rests her hand on my knee and cuddles into me. For someone who doesn’t want anything other than friendship, she sure is sending mixed messages.
“Well, I’m having fun with you, Caleb. I’m glad we ran into each other. I think it was the only way to remind me how awesome you are.”
“Yeah, I am awesome, aren’t I?” I tease and she slaps my knee.
I laugh and nuzzle into her hair and kiss her head softly.
“You know what?” she asks.
“What?”
“I think you bringing Annie into the hospital was an omen—”
“Oh, you don’t still believe in all that omen and fate type bullshit, do you?” I tease and she looks up at me and smiles.
“I do, and I think you came back into my life for a reason. Maybe to help me heal, or just so I can remember what it’s like to have a good friend around me again. It’s nice to know you still care.”
My heart’s racing and I know this whole friend’s thing is what she wants, but I want so much more and I have to try.
“Indi, what do you think about us dating? I mean, not getting into anything too serious and if you feel like it’s getting too serious, then we can back away. It’s just…having you here, in my arms and enjoying your company, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really feel like we could be good together. We don’t have to make plans to get married and have a gazillion kids—”
“What are you asking, Caleb?”
“I guess what I’m asking is that I would like to be able to kiss you without you worrying that I’m going to—”
“Yes,” she interrupts me and I stop mid-sentence and stare at her raising an eyebrow.
“Yes?”
“Caleb, I know there’s something here, and I know that the friend’s thing is going to be hard work. But if we can keep it to a simple kiss with no expectations, then yes I would like you to kiss me,” she says. I’m shocked, so much so that I feel like my eyes are bulging from their sockets. My heart is galloping as I look into her sparkling blue eyes and get lost in her gaze. She’s asking me to kiss her and right now my body is in shock and not reacting the way I want it to. She giggles and brings her hand up to caress my cheek.
“Kissing you always felt right, Caleb. But don’t think for a second it means more than just a kiss.”
I nod my head slightly as I stare at her full lips and lick mine inadvertently. “Just a kiss,” I say and she leans in close and presses her lips to mine. A surge of something hits me hard in the chest and takes all the air from my lungs. I’m kissing Indi and this time with her permission. In my mind fireworks are exploding in luminous colours all throughout the London skyline as I open my mouth and she slides her tongue in. If I was standing, I’m sure my knees would give way. I move my body toward hers and bring my hand up to her cheek and move it backward into her hair pulling her mouth harder onto mine. I deepen the kiss and feel that all too familiar twitch in my pants as I lean in closer and press our chests together. Feeling her breathing fast against me, her chest rises and falls rapidly. We’re both breathing through our noses and I’m sure passersby would be getting quite the show. I run both my fingers through her hair and pull her closer. She starts to shift her weight and I think she’s going to stop the kiss when she pulls back and moves her leg over mine and straddles me. I open my eyes wide and she smirks as she leans in taking my cheeks in both her hands and then brings her lips back to mine forcefully. I run my hands up her back and hold her flush against me as our tongues dance together in the brisk evening breeze.
I can’t control my cock right now and it’s getting harder and harder by the second. Having only my pants and hers in the way of our naked bodies being pressed together is like an agony I’ve never felt before. I really want to roll her over and lay on top of her and grind my hard cock into her wet pussy, but I can’t. This is just a kiss and we’re in public.
She moves her hips on me slightly causing friction on my throbbing cock. I moan inadvertently and she starts to giggle into my mouth. I don’t think I could handle that again without ripping all her clothes off. She softens the kiss and stops moving her hips on top of my rock hard cock as she pulls away from me breathlessly and rests her forehead against mine. I look into her eyes as I pant and try to get some oxygen into my body, but looking in her eyes only takes my breath away even more.
She’s going to break me, of that I am sure. My heart is already broken because of her, so it can’t do any more harm now can it?
She smiles and pulls her head away from mine and brings her hand up and wipes her thumb across my bottom lip.
“Lip gloss,” she says and I smirk.
“Pink suits me, so I’ve been told.”
“Yeah, it does actually,” she says and leans back giving my cock some relief from the pressure of her pussy grinding against it.
“That was some kiss,” I say and she smiles.
“Yeah, we were always really good at that. I just wanted to see what it would be like again.”
“And? Was it how you expected?”
“Hmm mediocre at best,” she replies and smiles so wide it melts my heart. I bring my hand to my chest and feign shock. She giggles and swings her leg off and sits back down on the grass beside me.
“Sorry, I don’t meet your expectations. Maybe I
should try harder next time,” I say and she looks at me and then down to my crotch.
“I think if you try any harder you might explode.” Her eyes firmly on the giant bulge in my pants.
“Sometimes explosions are a good thing.”
“Not when you still have your pants on. It can get messy,” she says suggestively.
“Well, I could always take my pants off,” I say and move my hand to the button of my jeans jokingly.
She laughs and runs her hands over mine to stop me from flashing her. Not that I was actually going to do it though.
“Okay, I think we know now that kissing is good for us. Let’s just not get hung up on things that typically come after kissing, okay?”
I nod. “Take things slowly. Got it!”
“Not slowly, Caleb. I’m not going to change my mind on the whole relationship thing, just because you want to fuck me,” she says sounding defensive.
“Hey, I don’t want to fuck you, Indi, you mean way too much to me for that,” I say furrowing my brows at the serious look on her face.
“I’m too good to fuck now? Right, so you don’t want to fuck me, but your cock tells me something different right now, Caleb,” she states confusing me.
“Wait, I don’t know what you’re saying right now, Indi. I’m saying I don’t want to fuck you because you’re worth so much more to me than that. You deserve to be made love to, not just a hard fuck,” I say and she jolts back and her hard gaze softens as she looks back down to the ground.
“So you do want to have sex with me?” she asks and I scoff and bring my hand to her chin and lift her face up until she looks at me.
“I’ve wanted to make love to you Indi every night since we first made love. All I think about is how it felt to be inside of you. I want that again. I want that with you, Indi,” I say and she swallows hard and shakes her head breaking her chin away from my hold.
“That can’t happen, Caleb. All we’re doing is kissing. I can’t love you.”
My confusion is stepped up a notch. Now we’re talking about love?