Memory: Volume 2, Trials to Bear, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)
Page 23
He turned his smile to her as he realized she was trying to shine before him. “As I said when we last spoke, she is a friend of Wickham’s.” He frowned when he noticed her consternation. “And I know that he was kind to you, dear, but you have to remember that some people are kind on the outside because they want something from you in return. He robbed us and tried to hurt Elizabeth, and now that he is found guilty, he will pay for his crime.”
“So Mrs. Younge is kind because she wants something?”
“I do not know, I only ask that you remain wary. You know by now when a servant is overstepping their place, do you not?”
“Yes, I think so.” She turned to her sister. “Maybe I should just ask you if I am not sure.”
“Absolutely.” He smiled with relief. “I rely on your older sister to look after you, and Mary, do not hesitate to contact Mrs. Banks, the Gardiners or the Fitzwilliams if you have the slightest apprehension regarding Mrs. Younge or any other’s behaviour. Until Wickham is on his way to his fate, I do not trust anyone who ever regarded him as a friend. May I rely on you with this charge?”
Mary smiled and straightened her shoulders. “I am glad to take on the challenge, Brother.”
“Excellent.” He smiled. “Your resemblance to Elizabeth is remarkable when you sit so confidently.”
“oh.” She blushed and lifted her chin. “Thank you.”
Turning back to Georgiana, he took her hand in his grasp. “So do you truly wish to stay here?”
“I want you and Elizabeth to be proud of me.” She glanced at Mary and said determinedly. “Yes.”
“Good. Now you know that the Christmas school break is coming, and since I am here now, I will not be returning then. I will not leave Elizabeth again, and I will not make her travel in her condition. You will spend the holiday at Matlock House.”
“And what of Mary?” She asked with concern.
Darcy smiled and nodded at her. “You will travel with the Gardiners to Longbourn. You should see your family as well.”
“Well she should but I do not know how happy she will be about it.” Georgiana giggled.
“Georgie!” Mary hissed.
“Oh you have told me enough stories …”
“Well then they are private and you should not speak of them before anyone else.” Darcy said quietly. “Mary trusts you.”
“Yes, Brother.” Georgiana blushed.
“Now, I have some work to do before I leave for Pemberley. I imagine that you have lessons to attend, so we should probably say our farewells now.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, then kissed her forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Fitzwilliam.” Georgiana kissed one cheek then the other. “That one is for my sister.”
“I will give it to her.” He turned to Mary. “One more hug? I will understand if you do not wish for it?” He smiled when Mary’s arms tentatively circled his waist. “Thank you, Sister. I will tell Elizabeth this is from you.” He drew back and she instantly pulled away. “I love you, too. Thank you for looking after my little sister.”
“You are welcome … Fitzwilliam.” She glanced up at him and pecked his cheek. “That is for Lizzy, too.”
“She will love it, I am sure.” He watched the girls leave and paused for a moment to dab at his eyes, then drawing himself up, asked for Mrs. Banks. He wished to give one last warning before he felt it was safe to go home.
CLOSING HIS EYES for a moment he let the rocking of the carriage soothe his weary body. “Two more days.” He said softly.
“Pardon me, sir?” Adams roused himself from his position in the corner of the cabin, opposite his master.
“It was nothing, go back to sleep. We will not be stopping for another hour or so.” Darcy watched the man nod and wrap the blanket back around his shoulders, and soon he was softly snoring. Beside him were several medical books, all describing childbirth in horrifying and unbelievable ways. Which do you believe? Either it is an experience that goes on for days and the woman is left to suffer because she deserves it, or she is medicated with opium and the process slows to a standstill, or she is laughing through the entire easy event, surrounded by visitors wandering through the room as she occasionally writhes in agony. He sighed, not believing any of it was likely true. Who is better to deliver her? A midwife, and accoucher? A surgeon? I do not know! Do we stay at Pemberley, do we go to London? Do we deliver at home or at the hospital? His head swam with the possibilities, and the curse of an intelligent mind and a vivid imagination. Once more his hand darted into his coat to pull out Elizabeth’s letter.
28 November 1809
Dearest Fitzwilliam,
Do what you must and I will be waiting, as patiently as I am able, to welcome you home and into my arms where you belong. Your compassion and kindness overwhelm me, but they do not surprise. I would expect nothing less from my husband.
There is so much that I wish to tell you, love. But it will wait for your return. Until that wonderful day, I shall leave you with this: The lake, the glade, the meadow, the library, the study, our bed, our home, our future, your lips, your throat, your chest, your heartbeat, your moan, your taste, your touch, your whisper, your kiss, your gift, your power, our embrace. Our love. For now I will live with the memory of your love, and every night, I will dream of you.
Be safe, my Fitzwilliam. I wait for you alone.
I love you,
Elizabeth
Folding the letter and closing his eyes, under the cover of the blanket covering his lap; his hand touched the heat she had generated, and lost himself in their memories. You know just what to say, love.
TWO MORE DAYS OF TRAVEL PASSED, and at last, early in the afternoon, Darcy entered Pemberley House. Immediately he was surrounded by servants who gathered his coat, hat, the valise full of his work … He scanned the great hallway and confused, turned to find Mrs. Reynolds beaming at him. “Welcome home, sir! I trust your journey was comfortable?”
“It was fine, Mrs. Reynolds.” His brow knit. “Where is Mrs. Darcy? Is she ill?” After nearly three weeks of separation, illness was the only explanation he could fathom that would keep Elizabeth from greeting his return.
“No sir, she is out.”
“Out?” He stared at her. “Where?”
“Visiting tenants, sir.”
“Is Viscount Layton or Mr. Bingley with her?” He demanded.
“No sir, your cousin and Lady Layton returned to Matlock two days ago when he received word from his steward of a problem, and Mr. Bingley has been gone five days since he received a letter from his sister.” She saw Darcy’s incredulous stare and spoke quickly. “Mrs. Darcy assured Viscount Layton that she would be just fine waiting for your return on her own.”
“And tell me, Mrs. Reynolds, is my wife alone on these tenant visits?” He fumed.
“Mr. Nichols accompanied her, sir.” Mrs. Reynolds whispered. “He said it should not take too long. We were not expecting you, sir, and Mrs. Darcy wished to be useful in your absence …”
Darcy nodded curtly and looked up when the front door opened. “Mr. Darcy, I saw the carriage at the stables, welcome home, sir.” Nichols smiled and greeted him. “I have a great deal to discuss when you are at your leisure …”
“Where is my wife, Nichols?” Darcy said quietly.
“Mrs. Darcy is walking, sir. She thought to take a turn before returning to the house.” His smile faltered when Darcy’s eyes went to the window. “She was excellent with the tenants sir, soothed a great many worried families with her delivery of food and medications.”
“She visited homes that contained illness?”
Nichols looked at Mrs. Reynolds nervously. “Nothing catching, sir. And we did not stay long.”
“You endangered my wife and child?” Darcy glared at him. Pointing to a maid he commanded. “My coat. Now.”
“Sir, she is …” He saw Darcy shrugging into his coat and snatching his hat from the maid. “She was walking towards the lake …”
Nichols puffed out his cheeks and looked at Mrs. Reynolds. “Well, if we had known he was coming, she would have been here. That woman misses him terribly.”
“You do not have to tell me.” She walked to the open door and closed it. “He misses her just as much, why else would he lash out at us; he will be fine once he finds her. I suspect that he was hoping to surprise her by coming unannounced.” She shook her head and smiled. “It is good to see such a love match.”
“Not for anyone who stands in the way of it.” Nichols laughed and they headed down to the kitchens. “I think you should order some bath water for their return.” The two elder servants eyed each other and smiled.
“And dinner suitable for eating in their chambers, as well.”
Outside, Darcy continued his rapid pace, stamping through the snow and muttering to himself about family abandoning his wife and servants abandoning their orders to care for her, then turned his mind to muttering about his obstinate wife who likely shooed everyone away in her annoying display of independence. “What do you expect, Darcy? You left her. You know that she will not sit still if left to her own devices. How many times have you come home to find her off in the woods somewhere? Without you?” He snorted and growled. “Someday my love, you will be harmed and …” He shuddered and banished the thought. “Do not even think it.”
Approaching the lake he went directly into the trees, following the small footprints in the fresh snow. He could hear a voice amongst the trunks, softly singing, and he just caught the end of the song as he turned around a bend to see Elizabeth standing alone on a little bridge set over a stream. She was staring down at the rushing water, and he saw her gloved hand brush what had to be tears from her cheeks.
“Take away those rosy lips, rich with balmy treasure. Turn away thine eyes of love, lest I die with pleasure! What is life when wanting love? Night without a morning. Love’s the cloudless summer sun, nature gay adorning.”3 Her voice cracked as her hands went up to her face and she began to sob.
Darcy’s relief was instantly dashed to find her so heartbroken, and hurrying to her side, had her in his embrace before she knew what had happened. Elizabeth looked up to him in utter surprise. “Oh!” Her cry was swallowed by his kiss, and there he tasted the tears that lay upon her rosy pink cheeks. Pulling her tight to his chest, he kissed her eyes, her jaw, and loved deeply her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and they held each other tight. “I love you,” was whispered over and over until the frenzied reunion slowed and they stood still, firmly together once more.
Darcy lifted his face from Elizabeth’s hair and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Now I am home.”
“I did not like this experience at all, sir.” She said softly.
“Sir?” He whispered as his mouth hovered over hers.
“S …” Once again, her voice was instantly silenced with his kiss.
When at last he released her mouth, he demanded gently, “What are you doing out here alone? What are you doing visiting the sick?”
“I wished to do my duty, just as you were, and then I wished to cry where nobody would see me.” She whispered.
“Oh my love. What am I to do with you?” She smiled as he kissed her again. “You have one duty, to stay well. I will not have you risking your health walking into homes that contain … Lord knows what disease!”
“Do you think me so foolish as to go somewhere that might risk my or our baby’s health?” She demanded from his shoulder.
“Oh Lizzy, please!” He murmured against her ear and increased his nearly suffocating embrace. “I came home and you were not there. For the last three days, I have been anticipating holding you like this, and when I walked in the door; my heart was nearly bursting with joy, expecting to find you waiting for me. When you were missing …it stopped beating.”
She closed her eyes and held him as tightly as she could. “If I had known you were coming I never would have ventured farther than the first step, where I would have been waiting for you.”
“I wished to surprise you.” He kissed her forehead, then down her cheeks. “Why were you crying?”
“I cry all of the time, it seems.” He wiped her cheeks and she smiled at him. “But today it was because I wanted my love to come home.”
“Elizabeth.” Darcy said quietly as he kissed below her ear, “Please say my name.”
“Fitzwilliam.” She closed her eyes and wrapping her arms around his neck, stood on her toes to whisper, “Fitzwilliam, my Fitzwilliam.”
“Who am I?” He said hoarsely, “Please love, say who I am to you.”
Taking his face in her hands she searched his brightened eyes. “Husband. You are MY husband.” She felt his breath let out in a shaky rush. “Husband, my Fitzwilliam, my husband, my love, mine.”
“Thank you.” Darcy rested his cheek on her head and hugged her. “It has been a very long wait for that.”
“I do not even have to imagine why you needed to hear it.” Elizabeth stroked his cheek and he kissed her hand.
He looked up to see snowflakes were beginning to fall around them. “Come love, we should go inside. I do not want you to catch cold.” They leaned into each other, his arm wrapped around her waist, and they walked back to the house in silence. When they approached the door he stopped and kissed her upturned face. “Never again will I leave you behind.”
She smiled and brushed the snow from his shoulders. “Do not make promises you cannot keep, Fitzwilliam.”
“I will endeavour to keep this one as much as possible.” They entered the house and the staff took their coats. Darcy looked over his smiling wife carefully. “You have changed, my love.” His warm hands held her face, and he smiled at her. “Your cheeks are full.” His hands caressed down her shoulders to stroke over her ripening belly. “Our child is growing. I am so sorry to have missed this time with you.” The baby kicked and he looked up to her with wide eyes. “Did you feel that?”
Elizabeth laughed and held his hands to the spot. “I cannot avoid it, Will.”
“He was not doing this when I left!”
“He was, but you did not feel it.” She raised her hands back up to hold his face as his eyes grew sad. “You are here now.”
Swallowing back his disappointment, he changed the subject. “Everyone abandoned you. I was dismayed to find you were alone. I thought that only my aunt and uncle had gone.”
“They left after your letter arrived, and agreed to drop Jane off at Longbourn.”
He nodded when he remembered Jane. “Yes, that was kind of them to take her; I saw Uncle Henry and Aunt Helen in London before I departed. He wishes to be of aid to de Bourgh and was meeting with the solicitors, making sure that the transfer of Rosings went smoothly.”
“And Aunt Helen thought that Lady Catherine might wish for a peer to help her.” Elizabeth saw his shaking head. “She was not happy that you decided to remain for the funeral, was she?”
“No, she thought it was an act to rub her nose in her loss, her loss of Rosings, not Anne. I felt that I needed to stay. I … Elizabeth do you understand why I remained? I … I did not regret …”
“I know, Fitzwilliam, she was your cousin, and someone needed to attend the funeral besides Captain de Bourgh.”
“I just want you to be assured of that, I want you to be absolutely clear that I was not mourning a woman I wished I had married.” He stopped as they reached the top of the stairs and again held her face in his hands. “Do you understand? I felt that it was my duty …”
“Hush. I know.” She sighed and kissed him. “You should not bear the responsibility for her death, and I will not allow you to torture yourself over it any longer. You explained it all in your letters, there is nothing to apologize for.” Darcy took her up in his arms and held her as closely as he could.
“You d
o know me well.” He smiled a little and they walked on. “I will not do this again, leave you like this again. It was a nightmare.”
“You slept? Lucky you!” She poked his side and he rubbed it ruefully.
“I take it that your sleep was as nonexistent as mine?” He touched her weary face. “Never again, love.”
“Now you have repeated that enough times that I am forced to believe you.” They embraced and paused in the hallway.
“I doubt very much that you could be forced to do anything.” He took her hand and squeezed. “I need to greet you properly.”
“And what does that entail?” She laughed and his eyes lit up with the beloved sound. “Mmm, perhaps we should send word that we will have dinner in our rooms?”
Darcy nodded and bent down to kiss her as they walked. “Perhaps breakfast as well?”
“Fitzwilliam!”
“Yes.” He laughed, relaxing at last, and opened the door to the master’s chambers. “Definitely breakfast in bed. I intend to take full advantage of this guest-free home.” Pulling her inside he soundly shut the door, and pressed her back against it, then stood looking down at her. “I intend to ravish my lovely bride.”
“Oh, now that sounds promising.” She reached up to deftly untie his cravat. Darcy quickly unwound the fabric and smiled as her fingers caressed the skin. “Have I ever mentioned how I adore your neck?”
“I believe so.” He whispered and bent to kiss her. “Once or twice.”
She set to work on the buttons of his coat, and slipped her hands inside. “mmmmm, warm.” Darcy’s hands were hardly still, he was busy unbuttoning her gown, and their mouths were in perpetual motion, kissing everywhere as their fingers dragged, pulled, attacked. Darcy’s coat was on the floor along with his waistcoat. Elizabeth’s gown was pulled down to her waist and the stays were released and thrown across the room. While lifting her chemise up and over her head, Darcy stopped dead, and stared at her breasts.
“What has happened here?” He said hoarsely. “Elizabeth!” His hands slipped up and over the enormous swollen orbs. “Oh my love!” He bent and began suckling hungrily.