Memory: Volume 2, Trials to Bear, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice)

by Wells, Linda

  “She looks like you.” Elizabeth caressed his face. “I love you, Fitzwilliam.”

  Darcy kissed her softly and wrapped his topcoat around her legs, “I love you, Elizabeth.” He climbed up onto the seat and kissed her again. “Let us bring the Darcy family home.”

  Slowly the gig moved as the horse walked back across the grass. Both of them were staring at the bundle in Elizabeth’s arms and barely noticed the group of riders coming towards them. “Mr. Darcy!” Nichols called and stopped. “We had a report of a woman scream …” His voice was halted by the sight of the bedraggled family in the cart. “Sir, Mrs. Darcy … the baby … are you well, madam?”

  Elizabeth smiled and nodded, and Darcy wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “She is well, as is our daughter.” He kissed Elizabeth’s cheek. “Will you ride ahead and alert Mrs. Reynolds?” Darcy smiled wearily.

  Nichols nodded to one of the men who immediately galloped towards the house. The steward pulled the reins from his master’s grasp and moved ahead, guiding the gig so that Darcy could wrap both arms around Elizabeth. “How do you feel, love?”

  “So tired.” She admitted at last. “I am so tired.”

  “We will get you home and cleansed, and then I want you in our bed with no arguments.” He said sternly. “Where you should have given birth.”

  “Would it not be wonderful if our next baby is conceived next to my tree?” She murmured and settled against his chest. Darcy stared at her peaceful face. You are thinking of the next? Now?

  As Elizabeth relaxed, he placed his hands under hers to help support their daughter. “A new Darcy. Open your eyes sweetheart, look at your home.” He urged and laughed to see her yawn instead. Elizabeth opened her eyes to find him smiling.

  “How are you, Fitzwilliam?”

  “I have no words.” He admitted and kissed her when they at last arrived at Pemberley’s door and were surrounded by servants. “Grateful and hopeful. Be well, my love.”

  Chapter 12

  “Damn!” Fitzwilliam proclaimed and eagerly read the letter again. “I will be damned!”

  “Richard what on earth has …”

  Grabbing his squealing wife, he spun her around. “Darcy, my cousin, the stoic, stickin-the-mud, scared-to-death-of-his-wife’s-pregnancy-fool, delivered his own child, alone in the woods of Pemberley!” He chortled and setting her down kissed her soundly. “Damn!”

  “Oh, poor Elizabeth!” Evangeline cried and held her hands to her face. “How did that happen?”

  “Apparently she had a whim and he indulged it, and nature took its course unexpectedly.” He grinned and sighed. “Miss Rosalie Elizabeth Darcy has joined the crowd of first daughters. Oh I can just see their fathers commiserating together the spring that they come out!” Chuckling, he kissed her. “Elizabeth is very well. I knew she would be fine; she was five days along when he wrote this. I imagine that he was so worried about her that he could not tear himself away to write a few letters.” He smiled at Evangeline then read some more and snorted. “She absolutely rejected the notion of lying in a darkened room. She insists that if she is forced to stay in bed that the curtains and windows be opened. The monthly nurse he engaged is at her wit’s end.” He looked back up. “I always knew that she was wonderful! Darcy praises her to the moon.”

  “As he should.” Taking the letter from him she read the ecstatic report herself. “His joy leaps from the page.”

  “It does. I wonder if he has written to my parents.” Fitzwilliam smiled, at last calming down. “I would love to be at Pemberley now.”

  “More so than with your brother or sister?” She tilted her head.

  “Darcy and I are very close, my dear. I would love to share in his joy.” He shrugged and she caressed his cheek.

  “You are soft-hearted.”

  “Only you know that.” He kissed her palm as she shook her head at his delusion and his face coloured. “Well we shall see Mother and Father in a few days, so I will contain my excitement until then.” He raised his brows, “Perhaps we should take advantage of the fecund state of the Fitzwilliam women?”

  “None of these women are with child any longer, Richard.” Evangeline smiled as he scooped her up in his arms and kissed her. “I need to dress for the theatre!”

  “Well then I am going to be of aid by ridding you of your current attire.” Richard kissed her soundly. “I feel rather inspired, my love.”

  “You are perpetually inspired.” Evangeline sighed as they made their way up the stairs. “I think that I should move to my own chambers so I might find sleep again.”

  “Oh, you will find sleep.” Fitzwilliam growled. “I will assure you of that.”

  DARCY STARTED AND SAT UP IN BED, then hurried to the nursery door. Sitting in a rocking chair, he found Elizabeth cuddling their daughter to her breast. He leaned on the doorframe and watched his sleepy wife feed her, then slipped in to kiss her hair and sit by her side. “You woke.” Elizabeth whispered. “You never wake.”

  “I am awake more often than you know. I missed you. I am acutely aware of when you are gone. You, my love, should not be out of bed.” He caressed the bundle and smiled when a tiny hand gripped his finger.

  “I know I must accustom myself to not rising.” She looked up to him. “Since you insist that we have a wet nurse and she has arrived.”

  “I will not relent in this, love.” He said softly. “I want you to sleep; we are defying enough of convention with your recovery. I will not risk your health any more than we must, and you need to rest. All that I have read tells me that infants wake frequently to be fed.”

  “By their mothers.” She said stubbornly.

  “You are not just any mother.” He whispered.

  “I am no different than any other.”

  “You are a Darcy; this is not something that women of our society do.” Their eyes met and she glared at him, and he met her stare head on. “Mrs. Robbins was engaged for a reason. She should be performing this duty. I am sorry that she was not here for the past week and you were forced to serve. I can only imagine what task you have her performing now to get her out of your way. Mrs. Griffiths has been practically apoplectic about you since she arrived. You promised.” Darcy reminded her and watched her eyes cast down.

  “That was before she was born. I was being berated by my mother and Aunt Helen to follow the dictates of society. It will probably be the only time that they ever agree.” They both looked down as Rosalie let go and Elizabeth moved her up to her shoulder. Darcy’s gaze drifted from the sight of his baby to that of his wife’s uncovered chest. He closed his eyes and reached over to gently arrange her gown, then met Elizabeth’s gaze as she spoke again. “Would you not prefer that your daughter be fed by her mother, and not some stranger? Is that not healthier?”

  “Georgiana had a wet nurse.” Darcy said softly. “She was fine.”

  “But I am here, Fitzwilliam. And willing.”

  “Neither Alicia nor Audrey feed their babies.” He continued. “This is what I was taught was right. Audrey did not bring Grace with her …” His voice trailed off as he touched Rosalie.

  She saw his sadness, and knew there was more. “What really worries you? You know that I am healthy and able to feed our child. You know that if I need to rest, I will. Something else is behind this. Please tell me.”

  Darcy remained silent for several minutes, watching Rosalie sucking on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “I have heard of husbands losing their wives once the children come.” He touched Elizabeth’s face. “It is horribly selfish, I know, but I could not bear to lose you.”

  “Where would I go?” She smiled and clasped his hand. “I am right here. Surely you will not be jealous of a baby? Do you think that I would love you less? I would be angry that you doubt my devotion, but I know very well that you do not any more than I doubt your love for me.”

  “No dearest I know there is no doubt between us.” He said softly, and gently caressing Rosalie’s mop of black curls, kissed her. “I love
her so much. I am warring with all that I know, all that I have been taught, Elizabeth.” He looked up to her.

  “What is it really, Fitzwilliam?” She asked and he said nothing. Elizabeth felt his old habit of keeping difficult subjects to himself being reasserted and knew that she must wait him out, and further, keep him from running off. “Here.” Elizabeth placed Rosalie into his arms. “Sit with her while she falls asleep.”

  Darcy cradled her and looked down at the bright blue eyes of his daughter blinking at him in the soft candlelight. Elizabeth stood and kissed his cheek. “Where are you going?” He asked with a little hitch in his voice.

  “I will not be long. Talk it over with her.” She left the room and Darcy returned his gaze to the baby, who yawned.

  “Well, it seems that your mother is determined to have you play on my heart strings.” He said softly. “I am not jealous, dear one. Not of you. I just depend on your mother so very much.” Rosalie made a soft mewing sound and he laughed. “Are you arguing with me? Do you take after her already?” He kissed her then wrapped the blanket around her a little tighter. “I was so frightened for so long, waiting for you to come, I feared losing your mother. And now that you are here and all is well, I want to hold her all of the time, but I want to hold you, too. I love her so very much Rosalie, and I want her to be well. Can you understand that?” Rosalie’s eyes drifted shut and he kissed her again. “And I want you to be well, my dearest little girl. I do not know of any parents who care for their children so closely. My father doted on your aunt Georgiana, but he was not …” Darcy sighed and made his confession. “If she feeds you … I may not love her, and I need to … I have no examples to follow. Your mama grew up in a different world, and I know that even with that she was neglected in so many ways.” Elizabeth appeared and he looked up to her with brightened eyes. “I am a fool.”

  “No Will, you are a man in love with two women.” She kissed him and taking the baby from his arms, settled her in the cradle. The nursery door opened and Mrs. Robbins gasped to find the couple standing hand in hand over their daughter.

  “Forgive me …”

  “We were just leaving.” Elizabeth smiled and still holding Darcy’s hand, led him from the room and closed the door behind her. They walked back to their bed and climbed in. He enveloped her in his arms. “I might need to nap for a little while until she sleeps through the night, but I think that we managed to survive my napping when I was carrying her.”

  “Yes.” He said softly.

  “And if I am feeding her, I will not become with child again. That would be less of a worry for you. We can find Mrs. Robbins a new position and just use the maids we engaged for the nursery.”

  “Yes.” He nestled his face against her hair and sighed.

  “And in a few more weeks when I am healed, we can love each other again.” Elizabeth caressed the arms that were embracing her tightly. “I look forward to that so much.”

  She heard a quick intake of breath by her ear. “You … you would be willing to let me … but I thought that lovemaking spoils the milk.” He whispered. “I thought that if you feed Rosalie, we … we could not be intimate again until she is weaned.”

  “oh.” Elizabeth whispered and finally understood. “Is that what worries you?”

  “It is one of the things, yes.” He admitted and hugged her. “I need you. I confess it. I could not bear a year or more of not loving you. A month is enough torture for me.”

  “Fitzwilliam, I could not bear it, either.” She attempted to turn in his arms but could not move from his iron grip. “I am a reasonably intelligent woman and I have found that you seem to be a reasonably intelligent man, at least in some areas.” Darcy gave a hollow laugh. “I cannot believe that from the dawn of time that all women have given up feeding their own children to a surrogate, and further, that all men have given up their marriage bed while those children were fed. Somehow through all of this humanity survived.”

  “Something has happened, dearest, your wit has returned with a vengeance.” He chuckled and sniffed while hugging her. “Do you remember when we first married and we declared that we would forge our own path?”

  “Yes.” She kissed his hand and he kissed her ear. “Is that what we shall do again as parents?”

  “I think so.” He wrapped his body around hers. “Bear with me; I am a very new father.” Darcy kissed her hair and paused before speaking again. “It also occurred to me that you are trying to love our daughter the way that you did not receive at Longbourn. I just now understood that. Forgive me for thinking that I might lose my place in your heart.”

  “Fitzwilliam, I … I did not expect to feel so strongly about this, about so many things that have happened this week. It has grown every day since her birth. I want to care for her …”

  “So do I!”

  “I know, dear.” Elizabeth sighed and he clutched her. “I do not question that.”

  “I know.” Darcy kissed her softly. “We have to be different in everything do we not?”

  “Mrs. Griffiths is very unhappy with us.” Elizabeth laughed softly. “I daresay she has never run across a couple like us before. I look forward to her being finished with her duties so she will stop being scandalized by our sharing a bed. I felt terribly when she came in to attend me and panicked when she could not find me in the mistress’ chambers. Supposedly tomorrow I may officially sit on the sofa. But heaven forbid I step over the threshold to the hallway.”

  “She is here to care for you, love. She simply wishes you to heal. So many women are lost to the childbed, you know that.” Darcy kissed her gently. “She is the best monthly nurse in the country.” He chuckled, “And she was denied so many of her duties, she was so unhappy about me delivering Rosalie.”

  “She was unhappy that Rosalie was born the day before she arrived! Out of doors! And that I was not lying prone in the dark, and that I sat up before a week was over, and … I believe that she was even disappointed that I have not become feverish.” Elizabeth giggled and he kissed her. “She worries that you will wish to assert your husbandly rights if I sleep with you.”

  “I am not without restraint, love.” He sighed. “As long as I may hold you.”

  “May I feed our baby?” She was met by silence. “Fitzwilliam?”

  “If you will allow Mrs. Robbins to remain until you are healed, and allow her to perform her duties while you are so tired, and if you will please consider letting her remain after that to perform her duty at night. Please.” He kissed her and smiled when she turned to face him, a position they had not managed for so long. “Agreed?”

  “Yes.” Elizabeth stroked the hair from his brow and kissed him, knowing any other man would lay down his decision and she would have no choice but to agree. “I listened to your talk with Rosalie.”

  “Oh.”

  “I need you just as deeply as you need me.” She tenderly kissed his lips and he sighed. “I want to hold you all of the time, too. I was so frightened for the past months and I survived it because of you.” Darcy’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “You never guessed how terrified I was? Were not my unending tears enough evidence for you?” They kissed passionately until Darcy forced himself to stop and closing his eyes, rested their foreheads together. “You needed me.”

  “You dear man.” She whispered while raising the hem of his nightshirt and gently took his arousal in her hand. His eyes opened to look into hers. She caressed him while they slowly kissed, allowing her hand to give him the pleasure and reassurance that he deeply needed. When he arrived at the blissful end, he clutched her tightly while he gasped and then took her face in his hands to kiss her fervently. “The moment, the second you are well, you tell me and I will love you the way you deserve.” Elizabeth laughed, and taking up a towel that she kept nearby, gently wiped him off while he watched, then looked up to see his eyes were warm and happy. “I love that laugh.”

  “I am just fulfilling my vow to laugh every day.” She kissed him and put the towel awa
y. “I will tell you when the time comes. I love you.”

  He turned her back around to spoon their bodies together, nestled his face on her shoulder and sighed. “I love you, dearest. I do.”

  18 APRIL 1810

  Dear Papa,

  Forgive me for being so slow to give you our news, but I am very happy to tell you that you are a grandfather. Rosalie Elizabeth was born on the tenth. I will not tell you the circumstances because it will only send Mama racing for her salts, but I am so proud to tell you that my dear husband delivered her singlehandedly. I cannot imagine ever wishing to endure childbirth without him by my side again.

  Rosalie is strong and beautiful. She has black hair like mine, and beautiful blue eyes like Fitzwilliam’s. She has him wrapped around her little finger already, and he is full of joy. Please tell everyone that I am well, as is our dear little girl. I will write more soon. Give the family my love.

  Your daughter,

  Elizabeth Darcy

  Mr. Bennet closed his eyes and said a silent prayer of gratitude. He had been expecting a missive from Pemberley and was most happy to see that it came in his daughter’s hand. That alone told him that at least she had survived. Now he could rejoice over the healthy baby. Rising from his desk he walked out to the sitting room where Mrs. Bennet sat alone.

  “Good news, Mrs. Bennet. You are a grandmother.”

  “She had the baby!” Mrs. Bennet cried. “And?”

  “Rosalie Elizabeth Darcy is very well, as is her mother.”

  “A girl!” Mrs. Bennet said and sighed. “She has failed Mr. Darcy.”

  “She describes him as smitten and joyful; I would doubt that he would consider Elizabeth to be a failure.” He said sternly.

  “Of course she is! He requires an heir. Well, she is young, he will get her with child again soon, I am sure.” She looked down at her needlework.

  “So you are not grateful for her safe delivery, or does it not matter because it is a girl?” Mr. Bennet sat down next to her. “Mr. Darcy is very happy with his daughter; it is his opinion that matters, not yours. I hope that when you next write to Elizabeth that you not berate her for failing him.”