Eat Your Feelings_Recipes for Self-Loathing
Page 13
Staying Together for the Children Chicken Tetrazzini
The Slammin’ Chick from the Club Was Not at All a Chick Chicken Club
Unwanted Pregnancy Kielbasa and Sauerkraut
Valentine’s Day Party Ryes for Divorcées
Who’s the Daddy? Flapjacks
You Stopped Sleeping with Your Husband Years Ago Provençal Tomato Tartlet
Sherbet
Rainbow Sherbet ’Cause Your Boss Is a Pervert
Sides
Failed the GED Creamed Spinach for Idiots
Home Fries for the Uninsured
Little Sister Earns More than You Ham and Cheese Toastie
Perfect Mashed Potatoes for Disappointed Parents
Postpartum Potato Pierogies
You Are Going to [Verb] [Person] for [Adverb] [Verb] Your [Noun] Twice-Baked Potatoes
You Saw a Group of Girls You Went to High School with at a Restaurant and You Were Their Waitress Chipotle Beans and Rice
Snacks
Baby Won’t Stop Crying Nachos Supreme
Cereal Snack for Aging Potheads
Cocktail Nibbles for Alcoholics
Dead Broke Dumplings
¡El Chupacabra Ate All the Chickens! Chimichanga
Evil Stepmother’s Rock Candy
Foreclosure Fiesta
Forty Years Old and Fired from Starbucks Chewy Fruit and Nut Cookie Stack
Found Out Your Birth Mother Was a Carney Hot Beef Sundae
Gravy Cheese Fries for a Big Fat Fatty
Halloween Costume Proved Offensive to All Your Coworkers Chocolate Smorgasbord
Hardtack for Lonely Seamen on Whaling Vessels
Jalapeño Poppers for When Your Only Friends Are People You Met in a Chat Room
Left at the Altar Petits-Fours Log
MIL from Hell Taco Bell
PMS Pot Stickers
Postpartum Potato Pierogies
Slept with Your Professor and He Still Gave You a D Baked Brie
Spicy Nuts with Honey ’Cause You Married for Money
Totally Bowlegged Double Deviled Egg(ed) Salad
Valentine’s Day Party Ryes for Divorcées
Worst Date Ever Nutty Cheese Ball
You Saw a Group of Girls You Went to High School with at a Restaurant and You Were Their Waitress Chipotle Beans and Rice
You Stopped Sleeping with Your Husband Years Ago Provençal Tomato Tartlet
Soups and stews
ADHD Alphabet Soup
Mom’s Old-Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup for Closet Cases
Single Mother Beef Stew
Three-Alarm Chili for Bad Mothers
You Got Drunk and Called Your Friend a Slut in Front of Her Father Cheeseburger Soup
Spinach
Failed the GED Creamed Spinach for Idiots
Stupidity
Failed the GED Creamed Spinach for Idiots
Rejected by Skidmore and That Was Your Safety School Chicken Fried Steak
Sky-High Banana Cream Pie Because You Are Dating a Married Guy
Slept with Your Professor and He Still Gave You a D Baked Brie
Sweet Potatoes
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Sweet Potato Pie
Tartlet
You Stopped Sleeping with Your Husband Years Ago Provençal Tomato Tartlet
Vegetarian
Accidentally Joined the PTA Perfect Potluck Baked Ziti
Alopecia Pizza
Best Friend Is a Total Bitch Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Caught Mom and Dad in the Act Tater Tot Casserole
Cereal Snack for Aging Potheads
Cheese Fondue Because Your Therapist Fell Asleep on You
Corn Cake for Indigenous Peoples
Dead Broke Dumplings
¡El Chupacabra Ate All the Chickens! Chimichanga
Failed the GED Creamed Spinach for Idiots
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac ’n’ Cheese
Foreclosure Fiesta
He’s Better Off without You Linguini with Sun-Dried Tomato Cream Sauce
Hummus for When You Have Killed Someone
Hummus for When You Want to Kill Someone
Perfect Mashed Potatoes for Disappointed Parents
Postpartum Potato Pierogies
Reluctant Breadwinner’s Quiche for Resentful Wives of Stay-at-Home Dads
Twenty-nine and Still Can’t Pay Your Rent Veggie Sandwich
Ugly Baby Cheese Sandwich
You Are Overqualified for Your Job and They Make You Get the Donuts Super Veggie Dog
You Saw a Group of Girls You Went to High School with at a Restaurant and You Were Their Waitress Chipotle Beans and Rice
You Stopped Sleeping with Your Husband Years Ago Provençal Tomato Tartlet
Workplace
Chicken Teriyaki for When Your Career in Advertising Has Destroyed Your Soul
Forty Years Old and Fired from Starbucks Chewy Fruit and Nut Cookie Stack
Hummus for When You Want to Kill Someone
Rainbow Sherbet ’Cause Your Boss Is a Pervert
Stinking No Good Brokedown Car Buttermilk Fried Chicken
The Whole Office Read Your Journal Yummy Oatmeal Muffins
You Are Overqualified for Your Job and They Make You Get the Donuts Super Veggie Dog
You Farted Loudly in the Elevator Green Curry Chicken
You Saw a Group of Girls You Went to High School with at a Restaurant and You Were Their Waitress Chipotle Beans and Rice
You Walked All the Way to Your Office without Realizing Your Skirt Was Tucked into Your Underpants Sesame Chicken