The Hungry Heart

by Brenda Gayle

  “It wasn’t easy,” Thomas continued after a few moments. “We were from different worlds. Her parents were great, though. They accepted me without hesitation. But then, they didn’t know the truth. Karen didn’t either, at first.”

  Nora regarded him skeptically. Karen had been allowed to bring home a boy? A boy from Shiprock? And her parents had accepted him? She couldn’t imagine it. Could he be lying to her?

  “What was the truth? What didn’t they know?” Nora asked.

  For the first time that evening, he looked ashamed.

  “I ran with a gang back then. I was just getting into it, but they were into some pretty ugly things. At first I was just selling drugs—pot mostly—but I could see the deeper I got in, the more they would expect of me.”

  “Like what?”

  “Enforcing.”

  “Beating people up?”

  “And worse.”

  “Okay, so what happened?” Nora said.

  “Karen found out. It was evitable, I guess. She was out with some friends and saw me dealing. She was furious—ready to break up with me. She gave me an ultimatum—I had to choose between her and the gang.”

  “And you chose her.”

  “It’s not that straightforward,” Thomas said. “You can’t just tell a gang you’re leaving. Once you’re in, you’re in for life.”

  “So what did you do? How did you get out? I’m assuming you did get out?”

  He pushed his plate away.

  Nora waited for him to continue.

  “Karen and I talked about what to do for a long time—over many weeks. I so wanted to be worthy of her. Finally, we couldn’t delay it any longer. I was given a job—I was to go with two of my gang members on an enforcement. I knew this was my initiation—a test to prove myself—so I knew this wasn’t going to be a simple bone-breaking job. I would be expected to kill the guy.” He shuddered, seemingly as repelled by the thought today as he had been all those years ago.

  “I told Karen. She convinced me to tell her parents, and they took us to the police. The cops said if I co-operated with them they wouldn’t charge me for anything I had done, and I agreed to do it. So they set me up with a wire, and they were supposed to move in before I shot the guy. I don’t know what happened, but they didn’t arrive fast enough. Ronnie got so pissed off with my stalling, he shot the guy himself. The police put me in protective custody while I testified against the two guys I was with, and about the rest of the gang. When the trials were over, I was given a new identity and sent away.”

  “What about Karen?”

  Thomas shook his head. “I was pretty sure no one in my gang knew about her. I was careful about keeping her separate from them. But to protect her and her parents, I could never see her, or contact her again.”

  Nora was having difficulty reconciling what he was telling her with her own experiences. His recollections of a strong-willed teenage Karen bore no resemblance to the woman Nora knew today, the woman who had sublimated her own identity to support her husband’s career. And his description of her parents’ reaction? Well, all that was totally inconceivable.

  She looked down at the photo lying beside her plate. Even in its mildly decayed state, Nora could see the pride in Karen’s eyes as she gazed boldly into the camera.

  “We knew she was pregnant before we went to the police,” he said.

  Nora’s head snapped up. Pregnant?

  “We thought about the two of us taking off, running away together, but with a baby it would never have worked. We were just kids ourselves. It would be one thing if it had been just the two of us on the run, but we couldn’t do that to a child. To you.”

  “Me?” Nora’s voice squeaked. It wasn’t possible. What he was saying couldn’t be...And yet, somehow she knew it was true. “You’re telling me that Karen is my…mother,” Nora choked, “and that you...?”

  “I’m your father, yes.”

  Why wasn’t she more surprised—shocked—by his revelation? “I don’t understand. If that’s true then why would Karen pretend to be my sister all these years? You said your gang didn’t know about the two of you.” Nora felt as if her whole world had shifted beneath her. She could still make sense of it, but everything looked different.

  Nora felt like crying, but the tears wouldn’t come. She felt like screaming, but her voice remained silent. Her head was spinning and she felt sick to her stomach. She had to gasp for breath.

  “I don’t know all her reasons. I was only allowed to see her once, and only briefly, after that night.”

  “Why are you telling me this? You said you never intended to speak to me.”

  “I didn’t. I just wanted to see you with my own eyes, and then move on and find some place to live out the rest of my days.”

  “What happened?”

  “You,” Thomas said. “It took a while for me to reconcile you, the grown woman, with the baby in my photo. After the last time we spoke in the coffee shop I realized it was too dangerous for us to be seen together. I deliberately stayed away from you.”

  “Dangerous? Why?”

  “I don’t know who from the old days is still around. I know times are different, but betrayals aren’t easily forgotten. I’m sure if any of the old gang could find me, they’d kill me.”

  “Then why come back here at all?”

  He reached across the table to pick up the photograph. “I’m dying, Nora. Slowly, but surely. Chicago never felt like home. I know what I did was right, but I lost everything doing it. I lost the woman I loved, and I lost our child. My parents died without ever seeing me again. My own name was gone—today is the first time I’ve said it out loud in more than thirty years. I realize it’s selfish, but when you found me at the plaza today, I thought it must be fate. I wanted you to know. I wanted this one, small thing before I die.”

  His voice sounded remorseful, but his eyes flashed with defiance. Nora didn’t know what to feel. In a way she understood what he was saying. But this was not a small thing. Not for her.

  “Have you seen Karen? Does she know you’re here?” Nora asked.

  “No, and I’m not going to. I don’t think I could bear it,” he said quietly. “I have to admire her, though.” He chuckled to himself. “Married to the state attorney general, she’s as safe as she could possibly be.”

  Nora wondered what she was supposed to do now. How could Karen keep this from her, especially after their parents—no, Karen’s parents, her grandparents—had died?

  What about Robert? Had Karen confided in her husband?

  And what about Gary/Thomas? What was she supposed to do about him? Did he expect them to have a father-daughter relationship? He said he was leaving. When?

  Her head hurt. She couldn’t deal with all of this right now. She needed some space to think. She stood. “I need to go.”

  He slid his chair back, and leaned heavily on the table to push himself to his feet.

  Nora jumped as the front door burst open, rattling the room as it slammed against the wall. Thomas turned, losing his balance, and Nora raced to stop him from falling at the same time as she saw three huge bodies rush into the apartment.

  There was a quick succession of rapid popping sounds that she recognized as gunfire. The bullets passed wide, hitting the fridge and cupboards.

  Nora had a frightening sense of déjà vu, remembering the staccato bursts of sound when she’d been shot. She stared at the intruders, trying to impress on her memory some detail she’d be able to pass on to the police this time.

  They wore balaclavas over their faces. Sunglasses covered their eyes. Jeans. Dark jackets.

  Thomas was yelling at them. Telling them his name—his real name—over and over again. It made no sense.

  The men were moving closer. Thomas was trying to push Nora behind him, as if he thought he could stop them from getting to her. They had broken into his house. Why would he think she was the one needing protection?

  With a swipe of his arm one of the men easily knocked
Thomas to the ground. Nora bent to help him, but was roughly pulled to her feet.

  “Gotcha this time,” he croaked.

  Finally, she heard herself scream.

  Chapter 23

  Karen sat on the couch, clutching the photograph of her and Nora to her breast. Her head was bowed and Hunter could see her lips moving. He supposed she was praying.

  He paced the room feeling frustrated and trapped. He knew he should be furious with Karen for putting Nora in danger, and he was. After what she had told him and Robert about her past, he was terrified for Nora’s safety. It ate at him that he was stuck here, helplessly waiting for some information about her whereabouts.

  Yet, at the same time, he felt deep sadness for Karen. If anything happened to Nora he knew she’d never be able to forgive herself. What a terrible secret to have kept for so long—having to deny your own child. He shook his head. He couldn’t even imagine it.

  “Trenholm,” Robert said from the doorway. “He’s been going by the name Gary Trenholm.”

  Hunter heard Karen softly repeat the name several times “Gary Trenholm” as if she was trying it out.

  “He’s been living in Chicago for the past thirty-three years. Moved to Santa Fe a few months ago.” Robert moved into the room and went to stand with Hunter. He seemed unwilling, or unable, to look at Karen.

  “He’s here?” Karen sounded shocked, and she turned on the couch so she could look at the two men.

  “Apparently. I’ve contacted the police and they’ve sent a squad car over to check out his place. We should know something shortly.”

  “But how? How could you—? I thought his identity was protected. Only a few people in the FBI are supposed to know.” Karen’s voice was strained.

  He shrugged. “I have a few friends in the Bureau. I called in some favors and—”

  Hunter didn’t know if he had been intending to elaborate or not because Robert was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. Hunter held his breath as he listened to Robert’s cryptic side of the exchange.

  “Pearce. Yes. Okay. Yes, I see. Keep me posted.”

  “So?” he said when Robert snapped the cell phone closed.

  “It’s not good,” Robert said.

  “Oh God,” Karen cried out. “Please, tell me they’ve at least found her.”

  “Sort of. They went to King’s apartment, but it seems there was already a squad car there. The owners of the house heard gunshots, and saw three masked men force King and a young woman matching Nora’s description from the premises and into a late-model white sedan.”

  “No. No. No.” Karen hit the back of the couch over and over again until Robert went around and took her in his arms.

  “Do they know who took them? Where they went?” Hunter asked. His heart was racing. This couldn’t be happening. Not to Nora. She must be terrified. He had to find a way to get to her.

  “Well, of course the members of the gang from Shiprock—the ones Thomas King testified against—are the first suspects, but they’ve been pretty quiet in recent years—totally off the police’s radar. No one has any idea where to even begin looking for them.”

  “Stokes,” Karen said.

  “Who?” Hunter and Robert said in unison.

  “I didn’t know much about the gang Thomas was with. I wasn’t allowed to, even after the police had arrested most of them,” Karen said. “But I do know the names of the two men he was with the night he was supposed to kill someone. Ronald Stokes and John Begay.”

  “Begay? Any relation to David Begay? The Senator from Shiprock?” Hunter asked.

  “Begay is a pretty common name around here,” Robert said. “I’ll have the police check into them.” He started to rise, but Karen stopped him.

  “I don’t know what happened to John Begay, but Ronald Stokes was released from prison a little while ago,” she said.

  “How do you know that?” Robert asked, surprised.

  Karen smiled sadly. “There was an FBI agent who was very nice to me. He would never tell me where Thomas was, but in the beginning he’d occasionally call to let me know that he was okay. He retired a long time ago, but I got a call from him a few months ago. He told me that Ronald Stokes was being released from prison. He didn’t think there would be any trouble, but just wanted to make sure I was aware of it.”

  “Are you telling us that you knew this and you never said anything? My God, Karen. How could you?” Hunter turned on her. All sympathy for her had vanished.

  “I had Officer Simmons keep me updated on the police investigation after her apartment was broken into,” Karen said. “I would have said something if I knew for sure there was a connection.”

  “What about after she was shot? You didn’t see a possible connection then?”

  “I’ll let the police know about Stokes and see if they can track down Begay, too.” Robert walked to the far side of the room to make his call.

  Karen was sobbing quietly to herself. Hunter glared at her. He couldn’t understand her. Was her secret so important she would risk Nora’s life to keep it? Why?

  “Okay,” Robert said, turning back to them. “I’ve alerted them to Stokes. It appears John Begay was killed in prison twenty years or more ago. What I can’t figure out is how this guy would even know about Nora to go after her.”

  “Could they have been following King, and Nora just happened to be there?” Hunter asked.

  “Doubtful. As Karen said, no one outside of the FBI knew where he was. Besides, there are the break-ins and the shooting, not to mention the GPS.”

  “They must have known about Karen and King, then,” Hunter said. “And I think it’s pretty obvious why they wouldn’t target her.”

  “I guess it’s possible they thought going after Karen’s sister would be revenge enough. But Karen and Nora have had so little contact with one another over the years, it seems a little tenuous.”

  Hunter closed his eyes and tried to put the pieces together. When had Nora’s apartment been broken into? When had they stolen the photograph of her and Karen? It was after his grandmother’s party. David Begay had been there. He had seen Nora talking to him.

  “Look, I know Begay is a common name, and I’m probably grasping at straws here, but are we sure David Begay isn’t related to John Begay?” Hunter said. “Senator Begay was at a party I took Nora to. That was right before the break-ins. There could be a connection there.”

  “Begay was at the reception this evening, too,” Robert said slowly. He seemed to be mulling over Hunter’s information, and adding it to his own. “I was speaking with him, but when Nora arrived he seemed uncomfortable and in a hurry to get away. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but I suppose it’s worth checking out anyway.” He pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

  “I don’t want to wait around for your sources to dig up information. Let’s go over there, now, and talk to him,” Hunter said. “We’ve got to do something. We—”

  Robert held up his hand to stop him from continuing. He finished his call, and told Hunter to follow him.

  Robert’s office was everything Hunter expected a lawyer’s office would be. Rich ruby-colored leather chairs, solid mahogany furniture, and a bookcase filled to bursting with legislative proceedings and legal precedents.

  Robert went directly to a large painting of red and yellow cliffs that hung behind his desk. It resembled one of Georgia O’Keefe’s New Mexican landscapes. Maybe it was, Hunter thought.

  Robert swung open the painting to reveal a safe hidden behind. He quickly unlocked it and withdrew a handgun. He checked it over, weighed it in his palm, and then slipped in the magazine clip.

  “I’m assuming you know how to use one of these,” Robert said. “It’s for protection only. We are not, under any circumstances, going to try to intimidate a state senator, understand? The police will take the lead. We are going strictly as observers.” He waited for Hunter to nod his agreement before handing him the gun.

  Hunter balanced the compact ni
ne-millimeter in his hand, getting its feel. Protection sure, but if Nora was in danger, he knew he wouldn’t hesitate to use it on anyone who got in his way.

  Robert took out a second, larger gun, and pocketed a couple of additional magazines.

  “I’m coming with you,” Karen said, surprising them from the doorway.

  “No, Karen. You need to stay here. I’ll call you when we know something,” Robert said firmly.

  “I can’t just sit around waiting. Please, let me come. I can stay in the car. I won’t be any trouble. Just don’t leave me here alone.”

  Hunter could see she was trying to be calm, but her voice broke as she pleaded with them. She looked a wreck. Her skin was blotchy, and her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She seemed to be hanging onto the doorframe for support.

  As angry as he was with her for putting Nora in jeopardy, it would be cruel to leave her to wait alone for news.

  “Are you acquainted with my grandmother, Libby Hunter?” he asked. “She’s very fond of Nora, and she happens to be in town this evening. Let me call her to come over.”

  ****

  David Begay felt as if he’d been sucker-punched. He sat down heavily in the chair and stared at his cell phone lying on the nightstand. Then, agitated, he got up again and paced the tiny hotel room.

  He needed a drink, but there was nothing available. He had only come back into town last evening to attend a final committee meeting and the legislature’s wrap-up reception. His bags were packed and he’d been almost out the door when the call had come.

  What the hell was he going to do now?

  Ronnie had only contacted him once since he’d told him about Nora Cross. He’d been looking for someone who was good with technology—surveillance and tracking—spy stuff. David had only provided him with a name, but even that small act weighed heavily on his conscience. He felt he was being sucked into a conspiracy he wished to be no part of.

  For weeks he’d scoured the newspapers looking for—expecting—some notice of Nora Cross’s death or disappearance. When he hadn’t seen either, he’d assumed Ronnie had given up on the idea or maybe discovered she wasn’t Thomas King’s daughter after all.