Pride's Prejudice

by Misty Dawn Pulsipher

  As she swiveled back and forth, Beth caught his eyes in the mirror, dropping her hands and looking startled. When he didn't look away, her startled look became a steady gaze.

  After a moment Beth took her eyes away from his, looking around for the seamstress. "I guess she's finished the acupuncture now," she informed no one in particular, trying to unzip the dress herself.

  William watched her struggle for a moment, her arms bent behind her at awkward angles, her fingers groping for the zipper ineffectually. He took a deep, steadying breath and stepped up behind her, pulling the zipper down slowly.

  Beth's seemed to shiver as William's fingers brushed her skin. Were his hands cold, or was it something else? Tearing his eyes from the skin of her back, William set them instead on her face. He hadn't really noticed earlier, but her hair seemed lighter. Had she dyed it? Whatever she'd done, the honeyed streaks brought out the green in her eyes and the glow in her cheeks. She was breathtaking. William was pulled from his admirings rather abruptly when Beth had to clamp a hand over her chest to keep the dress from falling off altogether.

  With a nervous laugh, William stepped back and plunged his hands into his pockets. "You can take it from there, right? I'll just……wait over there." And he found himself on the dreaded pink couch again, with his heart racing.

  SECRETS

  "I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!"

  ~Elizabeth Bennet, Pride & Prejudice

  "So……how's the dress?" William began awkwardly as they walked from the dress shop to Fritz's music studio.

  Beth gave a wry smile. "Didn't you know, the whole point of a bridesmaid's dress is to make the bride look better?"

  "You don't like it?" he pressed, surprised. "I think you look good in purple."

  "Smoky plum," she corrected him. "It's actually not too bad. Kind of tight though. It may be a little difficult to breathe tomorrow."

  "Jenna says you've lost weight since she ordered it," William informed her.

  "She told you I've lost weight?" When William didn't answer, Beth pushed on in a dark tone. "She tell you anything else worth mentioning?"

  "Nothing comes to mind," William lied. He prided himself on being honest, but Jenna was the last person he would ever throw under the bus. "Have you been dieting?"

  "Not exactly," Beth hedged. "Just trying to be more careful about what I eat….portion control and all that."

  William tittered. The only thing worse than a too-skinny girl was a girl who'd had a perfect figure before she'd become skin and bones. "Well, I'll have to see what I can do to fatten you up a bit," he pledged.

  "You have a fetish for long hair and chub, don't you?"

  William stopped walking, swinging around to face Beth. "You weren't chubby…..you were curvy. Pretty much perfect," he declared, waiting for her to argue with him. She didn't. Instead she blushed and looked away. Way to go William, he told himself. Why not just come out and say you want her body? Better yet, just rip off her clothes right now. William felt the tiniest bit of mortification, but he wouldn't take any of it back. He'd meant every word about Beth being perfect. And he still thought that, even if she was a few pounds shy of voluptuous at the moment.

  They began walking again, and a few minutes later Beth spoke. "So, this Fritz guy - he's your cousin? Not from Germany."

  "Yeah, he's my cousin. He has a music studio just down here. He plays the guitar and the piano - does that whole singer/songwriter thing like you."

  "Has he recorded anything?"

  "I don't think so. He's written songs for some of the big ones though, I think." William cleared his throat before continuing. "Have you…..written anything lately?"

  Beth kept her eyes straight ahead of her. "Haven't had the time, really."

  "This is us." William hesitated in front of the door that read 10C. "About Fritz……he can be a little -" Unable to come up with the proper adjective, William finished with, " - just don't pay attention to his clothes, his language, or any innuendoes he may or may not direct at you."

  Beth quirked an eyebrow, her face betraying a hint of amusement. "Anything else?"

  "I think that covers it," William answered, praying that for today, Fritz would be a little less…..Fritz. Tugging the door open, he followed Beth inside.

  Fritz's studio was pretty basic; it was a big, open room with a wood floor that reflected sunlight from the city streets. There was a piano in one corner of the room, and a microphone perched on a stand next to it. Behind the piano there were a several different guitars propped against the wall. Aside from recognizing that some were electric and some were acoustic, William had no idea why Fritz needed so many of the same instrument.

  "Hey, guys!" Fritz bellowed, his gravelly voice echoing off the walls.

  William couldn't help wondering what Beth would think of him. Fritz was your garden variety musician, New York style. He'd been mistaken for Jon Bon Jovi on more than one occasion. His arms were inked with tattoos, and his lower lip was punctured with a diamond stud. His wardrobe consisted entirely of ragged jeans and t-shirts that could make a courtesan blush. Today his shirt had loopy cursive writing which was nearly impossible to decipher on first glance. That was probably best.

  William pulled his cousin into a one-armed hug and mussed his hair. "Hey, Fritzy." And he added, "Behave" in his ear.

  Once Fritz had escaped, he turned to Beth respectfully with his arm outstretched. "Beth, I presume?"

  Beth took his hand, smiling but saying nothing when he kissed her hand. Then he released her, shaking his fingers out as if she'd burned him. "You weren't kidding, dude. She's hot!"

  William inclined his head in agreement, and Beth blushed. This, William knew, would only encourage Fritz. Putting an arm coyly around Beth and steering her away, he said, "Seriously, though. If Will doesn't pull his head out soon, give me a call."

  "Cool it, Casanova," William threatened in a bored voice.

  "What? You think she couldn't handle me?" Fritz cast a disappointed expression at Beth. "He doesn't have much confidence in you, honey."

  "Oh, I'm pretty sure there's nothing Beth couldn't handle," William contradicted coolly. "You, on the other hand, are out of your league, my friend."

  Fritz looked hurt, which William knew was purely theatrical. Then he slipped a business card into Beth's hand, waggling his eyebrows. "My number, just in case."

  William rolled his eyes. Fritz was really laying it on thick. But Beth was laughing, and she appeared to be enjoying herself.

  "Sooooo……" Fritz began smoothly, leading Beth to the microphone as if it were a bedroom, "….my boy Will here says you can wail. Let's see what you've got."

  Beth's eyes widened in surprise and then darted around the room. "Okay……" she said, her tone uncertain. Then she chose one of the acoustic guitars from the wall and sat down on the piano bench. "I didn't realize this was an audition." She smiled teasingly, then began strumming. "Do I get a golden ticket to Hollywood if I'm good enough?"

  Fritz laughed heartily, then watched Beth with rapt attention. Had William not been certain that tattoos and body piercings weren't Beth's thing, he might have been a tad worried.

  Beth sobered, cleared her throat, and then pulled off an effortless version of Landslide. She didn't even look like she was trying. William remembered the night she'd played Moonshadow at camp - how confused he'd been about his feelings at the time. How the only reaction he could offer was his absence. It seemed like so long ago. Like the Beth and William in this room were different versions of themselves. If Fritz hadn't been in the room, William thought it very likely that he would've pulled the guitar out of Beth's grasp, chucked it across the room, and taken her in his arms.

  When Beth finished, all Fritz's repartee had vanished. He actually seemed speechless, which was definitely a first. "You should…....definitely think about recording," he finally managed.

  Beth waved that off. "It's just a hobby."

  "I'm just sayin'," Fri
tz answered. "Man. Now I've got stage fright."

  Maybe she hadn't completely stripped him of his sense of humor. Beth just laughed, looking up at William and shaking her head.

  "So what's this song, then?" Beth inquired. "Is it one of yours?"

  "- Ish. Jenna gave me the lyrics and asked me to put it to music." After rifling through a manila folder he handed Beth several sheets of handwritten music.

  As Beth looked it over, her mouth thinned into a hard line and color flooded her cheeks. Her eyes darted to William and then she pinned Fritz with an accusatory glare. "Jenna gave this to you?"

  "Yeah," Fritz said slowly, clearly just as confused as William.

  Beth nodded once, then pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed. When she spoke into the receiver, her voice was tight with sarcasm and barely controlled rage. "Hey. Where are you?…….Is that close to Fritz's studio?……I'll be there in two winks." When she looked up, her placid smile didn't conceal the fury in her eyes. "Be right back," she promised sweetly, crushing the music in her grip as she left the studio.

  William scowled at Fritz. "What was that about?"

  Fritz looked lost. "I dunno, dude. It looked like she wasn't too happy with the music." He swore, and William was glad Beth had just left. "I'll have to rewrite the whole thing now." He pulled another copy of the music from the folder and began scratching out notes.

  William filched the music from him. "She hasn't heard the music yet. It's got to be the lyrics. Who did you say wrote them?"

  "I think she did." He fished in the folder and found a page without music, only a poem, and handed it to William, gingerly taking back his treasured composition.

  "Hm. That's weird. I didn't think Jenna wrote poetry," William murmured to himself.

  "No, dude. Your hottie."

  Understanding dawned on William, and he looked down at the paper in his hands, scrawled with Beth's writing:

  Nothing

  Here I am

  Left with nothing

  But music I don't like

  And didn't even miss

  Here I am

  In a stained shirt

  With a stained face

  Smudged with madness for you

  Love rushed in against my will

  I was looking the other way

  It melted my skin like chocolate

  My mouth waters at the taste

  I breathe in the salty liquid

  Relish it more than air

  I want to stay in this chocolate ocean

  But only if you're there

  Here I am

  Left with nothing

  The void people fear

  More than anything else

  Here I am

  Awake while everyone sleeps

  And you are packing up

  Leaving town

  Nothing's not so bad

  But I'd rather have it all

  William clenched his jaw and swallowed. Then he left his cousin's studio without a word of explanation.

  ~:~

  Beth yanked the door to Macys open with more force than necessary and scanned the room for her target. Les and Jenna were standing at a glass counter talking with a Macys employee, presumably about their bridal gift registry. She bee-lined for them.

  "Having a good time, are we?" She looked from Les to Jenna accusingly, trying to keep the delirium from taking over her voice and ignoring the person behind the counter.

  Les smiled at Beth, oblivious to the anger rolling off her like thunderheads. Jenna looked surprised first and then confused. When she saw Beth's hand trembling and the papers in her grip shaking, she swallowed, kissed Les on the cheek, and then she followed Beth outside.

  "Beth, let me explain -"

  "Yeah, go ahead, Jenna. Go ahead and tell me how my poem ended up as your wedding song. This should be good." Her voice cracked, a couple octaves higher than normal.

  Jenna took a deep breath. "It's a great poem, Beth. You know I loved it from the beginning. And it would make my wedding day so much more special to have your song, and to have you sing it!" She sounded like a time-share salesman, her voice rising as she listed the pros. "You said if you ever made it into a song it would have to be a duet - and it's just perfect."

  "Oh, you mean because it's such a happy, uplifting song? The kind of song that two people in love who didn't leave each other would want at a celebration to culminate their life together?"

  "It's not totally depressing," Jenna reasoned. "The chorus is all about not being able to live without that person. That's how I feel about Les." Jenna tried to finish defiantly, but such a characteristic had never been in her nature, and her voice shook slightly.

  "Jenna, stop! Just stop it! You know that I wrote this after William left. It's not even a song. It's a blasted poem. Anyone who could actually put this to music has to be a freaking genius."

  "Fritz is incredibly talented, Beth. I'll bet you didn't even hear the music."

  "No, I didn't. I was just a little overwhelmed by the fact that the inspiration for this poem was standing next to me." All the hot air seemed to go out of Beth. "I can't do it, Jenna. I wish you would all stop shoving us together. Let's just get you married so I can go back home and be miserable again, okay?"

  "Beth -"

  "I'm not doing it Jenna. Not. Doing. It." She let her eyes burn into Jenna's for emphasis.

  Jenna looked afraid for a moment, then hugged Beth timidly. "I'm sorry, Beth. I should've talked to you first. I just -"

  "I know, Jenna. Just let it be, okay?"

  "Okay. But it's too late to change the song, Beth - and Fritz has already put so much time into it."

  Beth waived her hand dismissively. "Fritz can still do the song - by himself."

  She gave Jenna a stern look, and Jenna nodded mutely.

  "You better get back inside," Beth suggested. "I'll see you in a while."

  Beth meandered a bit on her way back to Fritz's studio, trying to look unruffled as she opened the door.

  "Hey, gorgeous! There you are. Will and I were worried there for a minute. Everything okay?"

  Beth was relieved to see Fritz, alone, at the piano. She looked around her surreptitiously, somewhat surprised that William was gone.

  "Yeah," she lied, trying to shake everything off. "I just had to ask Jenna something about my dress. Did William leave?"

  Fritz sat down at the piano, positioning sheets of music in front of him. "Oh, he took off right after you did. He's probably searching the streets frantically for you right now or something. So…..you ready to hear the song?"

  Beth tried not to be rude. "Actually……I'm not going to be singing with you, Fritz. There was a…..misunderstanding with Jenna."

  Fritz cast his eyes down, like a kid who'd just dropped his triple scoop ice cream in the dirt. "That sucks. I was really looking forward to it."

  An awkward silence passed.

  "Can I at least play it for you? I'd like to get your opinion."

  How could she say no to that? Was she imagining things, or did his bejeweled lower lip tremble slightly?

  "Okay. I'll listen. But make it quick."

  Fritz brightened straight away, and when he shook the sandy hair out of his eyes, the act went with it. "You got it, honey."

  SYNERGY

  "My affections and wishes are unchanged……"

  ~Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice

  Beth yawned as William opened the door to his apartment, letting her in first.

  "Where's Gianna again?"

  "She went to a movie with some girlfriends," William responded, the overprotective brother peeking suspiciously from behind his words. He tossed the keys on the counter on his way to the fridge. "Do you want anything to drink? Are you hungry?"

  "A little thirsty. I need to change first though."

  "Go change. I'll get you a drink." He winked, and Beth forgot she was supposed to be walking away.

  She dressed down, into a pair of lounge pants and faded t-shirt, resisting the im
pulse to pull her hair back. Maybe it would compensate for the unflattering clothes. She hummed absently as she tidied the bathroom counter where she'd gotten ready earlier, stopping when she realized it was Fritz's song. It had been stuck in her head all day. She had underestimated Fritz - his music was breathtaking. He had arranged the verses so that the chorus made a happy ending. Anyone who could pull happy out of that had to be a musical mastermind. Fritz was also, as it turned out, a master manipulator. No sooner had she agreed to listen to the song than she found herself singing and harmonizing with him. Once they'd sung it together, there was no going back. It was quite simply meant to be a duet. It just didn't work any other way.

  To Beth, it was still a strange choice for a wedding song. She knew that Jenna had engineered the whole duet scenario so that William would hear her lyrics. But she was too tired to be angry at Jenna anymore, and besides, tomorrow was the wedding. I'll just tell her it's her wedding gift, Beth thought disparagingly. Since William didn't know who'd written the words, no harm had been done.

  That being said, something was obviously bothering him.

  He had returned to the studio just in time to collect Beth and walk with her to the bistro, silent and withdrawn. During lunch he'd nodded distractedly in an effort to show that he followed the conversation, hardly looking at Beth but for a few pensive glances. Had he been dissecting each of their interactions the way she had? Could he possibly feel as confused as she did? Her thoughts began to blur in a haze of fatigue.