Pride's Prejudice

by Misty Dawn Pulsipher

  William looked down at her, compassion altering his original rejoinder. "Kara," he began thoughtfully, "we've known each other a long time, haven't we?"

  Her eyes lit up. "Yes, we have."

  "So, you know me pretty well by now, right?"

  "I think I know you better than anyone, William." She inched closer.

  "Then you should be able to see that I'm in love with Beth." He paused to let that sink in. "And I'm going to ask her to marry me."

  William may as well have slashed Kara across the face with a machete. He pressed the advantage of her speechlessness, taking a step back from her enforced proximity. "So, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate if you'd stop talking about my future wife that way."

  Kara's bottle-bronzed skin turned pallid, but her eyes were on fire. William was positive he'd never seen her so speechless. Before she could answer, William walked away from her, smiling to himself as triumph won out over pity.

  The tense expression on Les's face relaxed when his best friend strode up to him a few minutes later.

  "Where have you been?" Les asked impatiently as William took his place as best man.

  William's answering grin must have been sufficient response.

  "So….what's up? Did you guys……?"

  William punched Les on the shoulder. "Just because it's all you can think about."

  Les just nodded.

  "But no, we haven't."

  "Do you think tonight?"

  "No, but you will be."

  Les's eyes went out of focus for a second before a gaping smile split his face. "Tough break, man."

  William bumped him hard with his shoulder. "Nervous?"

  "Not a bit," Les decreed as the opening strains of the wedding march sounded and Kara began trudging up the aisle.

  ~:~

  Beth hugged Jenna fiercely, wanting to draw the embrace out into a world where nothing changed; where they would be roommates at Longbourn Hall indefinitely, eating Pringles and peanut butter cups, playing Phase Ten, and drinking Dr. Pepper.

  Jenna literally glistened from head to toe, a dew-kissed angel sent down from the gods. The sheen of her veil glimmered faintly in the light of mid-morning, and when she turned this way and that at the request of her mother, the rhinestones scattered on her dress would catch the light and throw it back to the eye. But the glow of her wedding gown was midnight compared to the glow emanating from her face. Her smile looked bright enough to power all of New York for the day. Beth felt a tremor of nostalgia again, and was intensely grateful that she had flown to New York to be a part of this day. She never would have missed it, though the cost and William were deterrents at the time. How ironic, she thought. A round-trip ticket seems a small price to pay for what I have received in turn.

  This new direction to her thoughts made her feel sad again, though she couldn't think why. As far as she could tell, she and William were together. At least until she boarded the plane again. Oh, she thought. That's why. She only had him for now, for today.

  And it simply wasn't enough.

  "Okay, Maid of Honor - your turn," the wedding coordinator chirped at Beth.

  She obediently began her trek down the aisle, catching snippets of conversation as she walked along. A couple of older ladies were speaking just loud enough for Beth to hear them over the music as she passed.

  "Which one's the groom again?"

  "They're both grinning like idiots. I'm not sure. I thought you knew the family?"

  "I used to work for Mr. Bradford years ago - I don't know which one is his son, though."

  "Oh, well…..free champagne!"

  Beth suppressed her laughter, looking up for a confirmation of their speech and meeting William's eyes. She could see how someone uninvolved would be confused as to who was getting married today. Beth pushed the sadness away, willing herself to enjoy this day for Jenna and for herself. It would be her last day with Jenna for a long time.

  CATACLYSM

  "Misery such as mine has no pride."

  ~Jane Austen, Sense & Sensibility

  Beth sipped from her flute as she watched the couples twirling around the dance floor, allowing the melancholy to wash over her until she was fully submerged. It had been kept at bay all day as she tried to enjoy the little moments she could never have again with Jenna. Just when she felt she had succeeded in coming up for air, the misery would baptize her anew whenever she looked at William. Her feelings were such an impossible mixture of anticipation and drudgery. His eyes had been cemented on her as she began the duet with Fritz, and after the intro, she hadn't been able to look at him at all. For Jenna's sake, as well as the wedding guests, she kept her eyes on Fritz. She could feel William's gaze resting on her until the final bars of the song, though. No sooner had the final strains of the song ended, than William tugged her down off the stage and into his arms, where he held her painfully close for the next two songs. Not that she minded. It made it easier to avoid his eyes and the tears that were gathering in her own. And she wanted to be close to him. She wasn't even sure it could be called a want. Need was more the proper term.

  Now Les and Jenna were dancing with their respective mother and father-in-law, while Kara seethed in the corner for some unknown reason. William had persuaded Gianna to dance with him, and he was twirling her around the floor with grand flourishes. As Beth watched him he looked up, meeting her eyes, and winked. Suddenly the canopy of the banquet tent seemed to be closing in on her, suffocating her. Beth plunged her hand into her purse until her fingers closed around her cell phone, and set off across the Bradfords' spacious yard.

  In the center of the vast lawn, a stone bench with clawed legs stood next to a pond a little way from the tent. A stout waterfall spilled into the pond, filling the air with hushed gurgling. Dropping onto the bench, Beth hoped that the sound would drown out her thoughts.

  As she flipped open her cell phone to check for messages, William came striding across the lawn toward her. There were no voicemails, missed calls, or texts. Shutting her phone she looked up at William, fabricating a smile that she hoped would be convincing.

  From the way he looked back at her, he wasn't fooled.

  "Hey," she forced out casually as he sat down next to her.

  "Hey."

  Neither of them spoke for a minute; they just looked at the falling water in silence.

  William was the first to breech the quiet. "Too stuffy in there for you?"

  "I just needed to check for messages," she replied as cheerfully as possible, gesturing to her phone. William's gaze was unflinching, and Beth began to feel the weight of it.

  William took her hand firmly in his, the pressure of his warm skin a comfort. "At least you're transferring, and you won't have to go back to Hartford without her."

  Beth eyed William a little sadly. Apparently, he thought her dark mood was brought on by losing Jenna to her 'happily ever after.' That was a part of it. But Beth knew she would see Jenna again - that they would always be in each other's lives. She couldn't say the same for William. Still, she was impressed by the depth of his perception.

  "Am I making you feel worse?" His voice took on a helpless, pleading quality.

  "No. I just expected something more like 'it's not like you'll never see her again.'" She smiled ruefully at him.

  He brushed the back of his hand over Beth's cheek, his expression sympathetic. His eyes continued to dig, trying to excavate the truth from behind her sad eyes. "What else?"

  What else? I love you. I want you. I don't want to leave. She looked away, her voice subdued. "I'm leaving on Monday, William." That pretty much summed it up.

  Beth pictured his expression as she stared off in the other direction, intensely sad - a mirror of her own. When she looked back at him after a moment, she was surprised to see a light-hearted smile on his perfect lips.

  What could possibly be funny right now? Beth felt a spark of anger flare up inside her.

  He cleared his throat, trying to wipe the amusement from his face.
"You honestly think I'd let you go back to Wyoming after last night?" he asked softly.

  She eyed him incredulously. What did he mean to do, hold her hostage?

  William didn't get a chance to clarify. Beth's phone jingled in her hand, startling them both, and she tore her eyes from William. "It's my mom - I'd better get it."

  "Hey, mom."

  "Bethy, you've got to come home, right away. It's your sister."

  "I'll be home on Monday mom, remember? My flight comes in at six." She dared a glance at William.

  "Lindy's been hurt, Beth. She's in the hospital." Her mother's voice rose higher as the mania set in. "She's still unconscious, they don't know if she's going to wake up or not. I wish we never would have let her go -"

  Beth turned her voice up a notch, trying to reign in her mother's hysterics. "MOM. What happened?"

  Her mother stifled a sob before continuing. "She went to a party last night - with one of those college boys. We got a call from the hospital when they brought her in about an hour ago. She looks so awful, Beth. They think she might be in a coma."

  Beth stood slowly, reeling from her mother's words. None of it made sense. "Mom, what are you talking about? What college boy?"

  William moved to stand next to Beth now, his hand resting lightly on her elbow. A sick feeling twined through Beth's insides like a parasite.

  "I don't remember his name. Jacob? No, Jason?"

  Beth swallowed. "Jaxon?"

  William tensed next to her, and her mother sobbed on the line. "Yes, that's him! Oh, Bethy, it's so awful. The police think he drugged her somehow and then she tried to drive home......" she couldn't finish through the sobs.

  Jaxon…..Lindy….drugged......tried to drive. Beth tried to reassure her mother, but her voice trembled and the words sounded cheap, even to her own ears. "Mom, it'll be okay." Then something occurred to her. "Is dad there?" Her mother had always had a knack for exaggeration. "Can I talk to dad?"

  While her mother handed the phone over, Beth looked up at William. His eyes were black and his jaw was clenched, which somehow made him look more handsome, if a bit dangerous. He stepped closer to her as her father took the line.

  "Dad, what's going on?"

  There was an ominous pause. "You need to come home, Beth. Your sister's condition is quite serious."

  Beth could barely speak through the tears and panic that seized her voice. "Are you sure mom's not -"

  "Your sister is on life support, Beth. Two people were killed in the other vehicle."

  "I don't understand, Dad," Beth began, unable to keep the tears out of her eyes or her voice.

  "Come home, honey." Her father's voice cracked on the last word, and Beth heard his breath hitch. "We're not sure she'll be walking away from this."

  The phone slipped from Beth's hand as a black cloud devoured her - like someone had flipped a switch and blown every circuit in the world, plunging her into darkness.

  ~:~

  William kept a hand on Beth's back as they climbed the stairs to his apartment, just in case she passed out again. Gianna unlocked the front door and held it open for Beth. William was enormously grateful to his baby sister for being content with a vague explanation of the situation. All he had told her was that Beth's sister had been in an accident and that she was in critical condition. The thing was, William wasn't sure who he was protecting more by keeping it quiet - Gianna or Beth.

  Once inside, Gianna hugged Beth tenderly before saying goodnight to William and veering toward her own room. Beth was in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards lethargically as she searched for something. William stepped forward and filled a glass with ice water, pushing it into her hands and watching her closely. She pressed the cold glass to her lips and sipped once before pulling back to stare at the glass. Then she clamped her hand to her mouth and dashed out of the room as fast as her bridesmaid's dress would allow.

  William sighed for the umpteenth time since the phone call, resisting the urge to shatter Beth's glass against the far wall. He felt so helpless. He wanted to stay by her side for the rest of the night, but surely the last thing she wanted at this moment was an audience. After waiting several minutes, he walked slowly to her room and knocked on the door. When she didn't answer, he pushed it open carefully and peered inside. No Beth. Then he proceeded in toward the bathroom.

  "Beth? You okay?" he inquired as he tapped at the door.

  Her answer was muffled. "You can come in."

  She was bent over in front of the mirror, her elbows resting on the counter and her face buried in a towel.

  She straightened, clearing her throat. "Sorry."

  "Why are you apologizing?" He stroked her cheek with his thumb, wishing he could brush away her anxiety. Then her phone rang from William's pocket, and he held it up with a question in his eyes.

  Beth took the phone with shaking hands, assuring her father that she had scheduled the earliest possible flight home. Unfortunately it didn't depart until seven a.m. the following morning, but short of renting a private jet it was the best they could do. And William had tried that. They couldn't get anything on such short notice.

  After pledging to her father that she would get to the airport on time, Beth ended the call and tossed her phone onto the bed. "Can you unzip me?" she asked in a strained voice.

  She probably wanted to be alone, and William had some anger to vent anyway. Dutifully, he stepped to her, unzipped her dress, and then quietly left the room.

  ~:~

  After William had gone, Beth shed her bridesmaid's dress and hung it carefully in the closet. Then she took a hot shower, letting the steaming water mingle with her tears until she couldn't tell them apart anymore. At one point, she actually sat down on the tile and sobbed. It had finally happened. Lindy's unguarded behavior had finally gotten the best of her, just as Beth had warned her again and again that it would. Unfortunately, misery was bereft of pride and being right in this instance was no consolation. When her head began throbbing and the water ran luke-warm, Beth turned off the shower, dried, and pulled on a cami and PJ pants. After towel drying her hair for a moment, she sat on the edge of the bed. William hadn't come back to check on her, and he probably wouldn't. No doubt he'd gleaned enough of the conversation to complete the puzzle. No doubt, hearing that Jaxon had repeated his past offenses would tear open his old wounds. She wouldn't be seeing him again tonight.

  Feeling disconnected from her actions, as though someone else was in her body, Beth turned off the light and lay down atop the flannel on William's bed. Beth was too worn out to feel anything, not to mention dehydrated from throwing up and all the crying. As if defying her thoughts, a single tear escaped down her cheek as she balled up on her side and closed her eyes.

  Several sleepless minutes later, the bedroom door cracked open and William stood looking in. He approached her bedside and looked down at her. She was torn between a desire to see his eyes and dread at what she would find there. Gently, he pulled the corner of his blanket around her from behind, making her into a flannel burrito. William straightened and turned for the door, but Beth caught his arm and towed him down to lie next to her. Obediently, William opened his arms and she burrowed into them, letting the tears flow fast and hot. The riotous ocean of her pain suddenly felt less crushing with William's arms locked around her like a life preserver - one she'd rather drown in than take off. Eventually, the tears stopped and Beth drifted off to sleep with William's hands in her hair.

  VINDICATION

  "…..our pleasures in this world are always to be paid for…."

  ~Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

  Beth gazed out the window dejectedly as William sped toward the John F. Kennedy International Airport, both his hands locked on the steering wheel. He hadn't said much this morning, and Beth felt the grey light of early dawn pressing in on her like static. Inside the wall of resignation she'd carefully constructed around herself this morning, a spring of hope bubbled and frothed. If only things could be different. I
f only Lindy's accident could have been prevented. If only she wasn't leaving the one person she wanted to stay with more than anyone else. If only that person weren't acting like he couldn't wait to be rid of her. If only, if only…..

  William hadn't spoken to her at all as she lay in his arms last night. He'd indulged her by staying with her, but obviously he hadn't wanted to upset her. There was no doubt that he cared, but she couldn't expect that regard to overcome the ugly truth of Lindy and Jaxon.

  When they breached the airport barriers, Beth noted vaguely that they were headed for the parking lot instead of the drop off lane. Apparently, he wanted to be thorough in the discharge of his responsibility. But after pulling her duffle out of the trunk, William retrieved a rolling suitcase, setting it on the ground and pulling out the handle. She raised her eyebrows, nodding toward his suitcase.

  "I'm leaving town on business," he offered. "My flight leaves in a couple hours - I didn't want to come back."

  Beth scowled. "Why didn't you say anything?"

  He refused to meet her eyes. Now he couldn't even look at her?

  "Something's just come up that I need to take care of. Hopefully I'll only be gone a few days."

  When he offered no other intelligence on the mysterious business trip, Beth just nodded.

  "I'll walk you," William offered, falling into step beside her.

  The old Beth would have put on a show of bravado, and said something about being able to find it herself. But the naked truth was that she wanted every last second with him - even if he didn't feel the same.

  William glowered at the huge airport windows as they walked, distracted. After checking in, Beth went to the waiting area and took a seat next to William, whose face was turned away, looking out at the runway. When Beth's row was called to board and she stood, he came out of whatever trance had claimed him, looking around like he'd forgotten where he was. He bolted up after her like he'd lost track of time. Planting a hasty kiss on her forehead, he said, "I'll see you later." Then he turned and set off for his own gate.