Aflame

by Penelope Douglas

  “You guys are idiots,” I teased again, standing up to pick up the fork.

  They both started laughing, and both men shook their heads, smiling as they headed over.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the house, watching the girls swing their legs over the railing and sit.

  But then my face fell. My stomach dropped, and my breath cut off, and holy shit.

  Jared had walked out of the house, locking the door behind him, and I looked away, but I couldn’t resist.

  Glancing back up for another look, I watched him out of the corner of my eye, staring off out to the street as he fastened a cuff link.

  A cuff link?

  He was wearing cuff links. I finally blinked, my heart beginning to jackhammer with increasing speed.

  Jared in a suit made my mouth water. I loved him in his jeans or casual black pants and T-shirts, but when he cleaned up?

  Oh, my God.

  His black pants draped down his legs, falling just casually enough to look like he didn’t care, but his pressed shirt and jacket—both a deep, rich black—didn’t hide his body at all. I caught sight of a sliver of his collarbone, since his top button was undone, and then he slipped a casual hand into his pocket and looked over, locking eyes with me.

  I turned away.

  “What are you ladies going to do tonight?” Madoc picked Fallon off the railing and held her close to his chest.

  “Hang out,” she chirped. “Make some popcorn.”

  “Right,” Jax shot back, coming to stand between Juliet’s thighs as she sat on the railing.

  Jared made his way over, pulling out his car keys.

  Madoc was kissing and whispering to Fallon. Jax was looking up at Juliet, trying to sweeten her up as she shied away from him, playing jealous.

  And Jared stood aloof, ignoring me. I didn’t know if he was looking at me, and I didn’t know if he was mad that I hadn’t reached out, but I still felt his presence on every inch of my body.

  He tugged at me like a magnet.

  Jax pulled Juliet down, kissing her nose and then her lips. “I love you,” he said, and my gaze flashed to Jared, locking eyes with his.

  “I’ll be home by midnight,” I heard Jax say, but Jared continued to hold me. The heat was unmistakable. But what scared me was how I also saw the coldness.

  A wave of déjà vu hit me, and it was like I was back in high school for a moment.

  “If you’re one second late,” Juliet scolded Jax, “I’ll have a tantrum.”

  “I love your tantrums,” he flirted, pulling her hips into his.

  “I mean it,” she emphasized, trying to sound tough, but I knew it was just a game they played. “I will make you bleed if you’re late.”

  “Promise?” he taunted, diving in for another kiss.

  I shook my head, keeping my gaze off Jared.

  “Jax, let’s go.” Madoc pulled Jax by the neck, leading him away from his girlfriend.

  All three guys walked to Jared’s car, every inch of their well-dressed, manicured looks emphasizing that they were men now. It was still hard to wrap my head around it at times, since I’d grown up with Jared and met Madoc and Jax as teens. I’d seen them all—more often than not—in jeans and T-shirts. I’d seen them do the dumbest things and even joined in a few times.

  But those boys were gone.

  “Jared!” Fallon shouted as Jared opened his driver’s side door. “Get them home safe!”

  He arched a brow, giving her a condescending look. “They’ll be home before I will,” he said, looking over at me. “I don’t have a curfew.”

  My eyes stung with sudden anger as I watched him climb into his car without another word.

  He started the car and backed out of the driveway, not sparing a glance back.

  Asshole.

  Oh, sure. Go have fun. No one’s waiting at home for you. If you don’t have me, you’ll just go play with a random girl, because why not, right?

  I clenched my fists and let my head fall back.

  Shit. I was being ridiculous.

  Madoc and Jax were going to have fun with their friends. To celebrate. They’d come home just as much in love with Fallon and Juliet as ever.

  And Jared was manipulating me. Just like he always did, and I fell for it. He was a grown man who still found it quite appetizing to take a great big bite out of my peace of mind. He expected me to give in and call or text to tell him how much I loved him. Or he expected me to come pick a fight tomorrow about something silly just so I could get a rise out of him. He wanted me mad, because he wanted to draw me out.

  As the sound of Jared’s engine left the neighborhood, I let the small smile spread across my lips.

  He was so used to toying with me. It was like second nature. So why not react and give him what he wanted?

  “Wicked is a dual strip club, right?” I asked the girls, already knowing the answer. “Female dancers downstairs and male dancers upstairs?”

  Juliet glanced at Fallon, and then both of them looked at me.

  As realization hit, Juliet gasped and Fallon threw her head back, laughing.

  And then we all shrieked, scrambling for my front door to get ready.

  ***

  “Hi,” I greeted the stocky bouncer with the military buzz cut.

  “Hello, ladies.” He looked us up and down, and I stopped, which caused Fallon to bump into me as she veered around into the club with Juliet.

  “You let women sit downstairs, right?” I inquired. “If we decided to watch the female dancers later on, I mean.”

  He raised his eyebrows, amused. “We love our female customers,” he played. “No matter what turns them on.”

  I straightened. Yeah, I didn’t mean that really, but okay.

  Entering the club, I inhaled, not sure what to expect. Cigarettes and maybe the stench of stale liquor, but that wasn’t what hit me as soon as I entered.

  The scent of golden peaches and rich berries and lilies drifted through my nostrils, filling my lungs with their hint of vanilla and musk. The black and burgundy interior of the entryway was accented with gold fixtures and would probably seem gaudy elsewhere, but here, the less-is-more idea prevailed. It wasn’t overwhelmingly busy. The carpets were lush, the walls were a warm but dark violet, and the décor possessed singular objects on which to focus your attention instead of too much to distract you.

  We stepped through a doorframe without a door on it and immediately stopped, seeing the low ceiling give way, and the room before us damn near took my breath away.

  “No wonder they dressed up,” I said under my breath. “This place . . .”

  I’d only heard about Wicked. It was halfway between Shelburne Falls and Chicago and was a popular stopping point for men—and women—on their way home from work to the suburbs. It was reported to have great music, the best-looking dancers—which it would, since there were about four universities within an hour of here that had a lot of hardworking students needing good-paying jobs—and it also had a five-star chef.

  The guys had to be paying a thousand dollars per table to throw this bachelor party.

  A hostess in a tight black dress—much like my own—approached us with menus.

  “Hello.” Her long, brown hair, bronze complexion, and dark eyes glimmered in the surrounding candlelight. “The ladies’ show upstairs doesn’t start again for another hour, but we can get you seated.”

  I barely heard her, looking around for the guys. It was after ten, and while they held only two performances with the male dancers on Friday and Saturday nights, the female dancers performed around the clock.

  “Actually,” Fallon spoke up, “can we sit down here and have a drink first?”

  What?

  “Of course.” She smiled and nodded. “Follow me.”

  I let out a
sigh and followed, Juliet at my side, with her gaze darting everywhere, probably looking for Jax.

  While my curiosity was all for getting a glimpse of the guys tonight, I didn’t want this to be about them. Madoc and Jax expected Fallon and Juliet to handle themselves with patience and understanding—which they did—but it would be a hell of a riot to see how they handled themselves when they found out their women were upstairs getting a show, too.

  That was the point of coming here, after all.

  “Ugh,” Fallon groaned as she halted and looked at the stage. “Look at her tits.”

  I twisted my head, looking up onstage, and immediately I could feel my face falling.

  Shit.

  A beautiful blonde with lowlights in her hair wore a gold bikini that pushed up her breasts, making them stand out against her flat stomach and perfect skin. And as she held the pole with one hand and leaned back, rolling her hips and bringing the back of her hand up to flip her hair, my gut twisted.

  I didn’t want Jared to see her. She looked like me, only better.

  “I thought you weren’t worried,” Juliet said to Fallon.

  Fallon shook her head, still watching the dancer. “Don’t serve me that shit now. You have great boobs.”

  Juliet grinned, following the hostess. “Madoc likes yours,” she reassured Fallon. “Come on.”

  The hostess sat us down in a semicircle booth of burgundy velvet with a black table and drapery tied back on both sides. A dim lamp hung from overhead, flickering to look like a candle.

  “There’s no table fee?” I asked, sliding into the booth.

  “Not for you three.” She winked, handing out drink menus. “Lap dances are fifty bucks, though. Enjoy.”

  I snorted. Yeah, because we definitely wanted lap dances.

  “How do we even know they’re here yet?” Juliet asked, looking at both of us.

  “They’re here.” Fallon smirked, flashing her phone and showing the selfie Madoc must have taken just outside the club. “He sent this twenty minutes ago.”

  One by one, we all let our eyes drift to the sea of customers out and about in the club, looking for the bachelor party, when I knew we shouldn’t. The guys should be left alone. Until later, when we let it slip via text or social media that we were upstairs getting our own eyeful.

  It took me about two seconds to locate them.

  Jared and a team of other guys sat right in front of the stage, off to the right. Zack, Madoc, Jax, their high school friend Sam, with about half a dozen other guys I barely knew, were surrounded by about three smaller tables as they sat back in cushioned chairs with drinks in hand. Jax took a bottle and poured a few shots, handing one to Jared and Madoc, at which Jared tipped his head back, downing the shot. I inhaled an excited breath.

  Burying my face in the menu, I mumbled to the girls, “Around the stage. With the girl dressed like a Native American giving Zack a lap dance.”

  They dove back behind the curtain, and Juliet huddled close to Fallon as they both spied on the guys.

  I laughed under my breath.

  “Good evening,” a server greeted us, stopping at our table. “Would all of you like something to drink?” she asked, setting down napkins.

  “Three shots of Jim Beam,” Fallon ordered. “Devil’s Cut.”

  “I don’t want whiskey,” Juliet retorted.

  “Good, because they’re all for me,” Fallon shot back, and I was amused at her nerves. She was always so confident and tough, but my girl did not like her man in a strip club after all.

  I set the menu down, pushing all three of them toward the server. “Pineapple and Parrot Bay for her,” I ordered, pointing to Juliet, “her three shots and a Newcastle”—I pointed to Fallon—“and I’ll have a Red Stripe.”

  The server nodded without writing anything down and left, and everyone looked back out to the guys. Aside from sporadic glances to the stage to watch the dancers, they mostly just sat back and joked around. Jared sat facing the stage, but his head was turned to the side, and I could tell he was laughing from time to time by how his shoulders shook. A server brought appetizers, and while some of the guys dug in, others continued to just drink.

  The show had a main performance—a dancer on center stage—but there were smaller stages spread out with a couple of pole dancers.

  Juliet sat back, looking calmer. “They’re behaving.” She gave a sad smile. “Now I feel bad. We should just go upstairs.”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t want to be down here anyway.”

  Fallon shot her eyes over to me. “Really? You’re not jealous? At all?”

  I looked away, running a nervous hand through my straightened hair and bringing it over the front of my shoulder. “Jared is none of my business,” I maintained.

  “Are you sure about that?” Juliet asked timidly as she stared out to the stage, her body gone eerily still.

  “Yes,” I retorted. “Let him have his fun.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, sounding forlorn. “Because he seems to like what he’s seeing up onstage.” And then she pinned me, looking serious.

  My eyebrows nosedived, and I immediately looked out to where Jared sat. He was still sitting back in his chair, but his full attention was onstage, and when I followed his gaze, I nearly choked on a breath.

  My neck heated, and my head was screaming.

  Piper.

  Jared’s ex. The girl he was sleeping with before we got together in high school.

  My tight black dress constricted my body more, and I felt sick.

  I hadn’t seen her in four years. Why was he looking at her?

  She had made and distributed a sex video of Jared and me in school, and he was sitting there, giving her his attention like he was actually turned on.

  I stayed still, paralyzed not by her, but by him. He should’ve turned away. He should’ve left.

  After what she did to us . . .

  She stood on a smaller side stage with the pole at her back as she bent down at the waist and then flipped her hair back, giving Jared a close and personal view of her tits.

  She then rose, put one hand behind her neck and the other behind her back and tugged smoothly at the strings of her top, letting it fall away from her body to expose her tanned and perfect breasts to him.

  I looked down, grinding my teeth.

  No.

  My face ached as tears sprang to my eyes, and I looked away, so Fallon and Juliet wouldn’t see.

  Fuck him.

  By the way he was watching her—making no move to ignore her—and by the way she singled him out, they could have each other.

  I dragged in a deep breath and cleared my throat.

  Digging in my clutch purse, I pulled out a bill just as the server brought us our drinks.

  I tipped my chin up, blinking away the tears in my eyes. “I want to buy a lap dance,” I told her, holding out the money. “Not for me, though.”

  She tucked the tray under her arm and took the money. “Sure. What do you need?”

  I leaned on the table, noticing that Jared had finally looked away, before I started speaking to the server again. “Do you see that guy with the brown hair over there dressed all in black? He’s lifting a glass to his lips right now.” I pointed in his direction, and the server turned to see who I was referring to.

  She nodded.

  “Can you send him that dancer that’s onstage in front of his table when she’s done?” I asked and felt Juliet stiffen next to me.

  The server smiled. “Of course.”

  She left, and I closed up my purse, setting it on my seat next to my lap as I ignored Fallon and Juliet, who I knew were staring at me.

  “Tate, what are you doing?” Juliet’s concerned voice was void of her usual pep.

  “Tate, stop her,” Fallon urged, referring to the server. “Don’t
do this. You’re setting him up.”

  I didn’t know if Madoc had told Fallon anything about the episode with Piper in high school, but regardless, she knew buying Jared a lap dance was a bad move.

  Kind of evil, actually.

  I stared ahead, fisting the cold brown bottle in front of me.

  I didn’t know why I did it. It felt like those times when you want to ask questions or feel you should, but in the end, you don’t really want the answers.

  I didn’t want Jared with other women. I loved him.

  But I wanted a reason not to. I wanted one thing to push me off the fence. One thing that would make me never trust him again.

  “You want him to fail you.” Fallon’s quiet voice was raspy, and I looked up to see her eyes pooling behind her glasses.

  Then I glanced at Juliet looking at me like she didn’t even know me.

  “No,” I whispered more to myself, shame warming my face. “I want it to hurt.”

  I knew I always forgot the pain he caused too easily. Not anymore.

  Juliet narrowed her confused eyes on me, not understanding. Not understanding that the pain made me stronger. That anger felt good, and if Jared hurt me, then I could feed off it to feel superior.

  I could win and not be the one left crying or waiting or trying to live and put up a front when the hole he left wouldn’t fill.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  I heard Fallon’s curse and looked up, evening out my expression.

  Piper had strolled out of the back area behind the stage and was walking through the tables, catching the glances of interested men as she passed by.

  She was still beautiful. Complete with the perfect posture of confidence that hadn’t dulled, even though her reputation had been ruined after the video.

  Her deep brown hair, longer than I remembered, spilled in waves to the middle of her back, and her body shone like the sun on water.

  She wore a white jeweled bikini top with a thong, but she did have a gold fishnet wrap around her ass, tied at her hips. However, her behind was almost completely visible through the array of squares in the netting, which made the wrap for show only.

  Her eyes were on Jared as she sauntered over, a coy look on her face. For all she knew, he was still angry about the video, but that didn’t seem to dull her confidence.