Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha!

by Barbara Park

  Daddy quick leaned over. And he told me to please find something to do.

  Then he gave me my camera. And he said to take a picture of the people on the bus.

  I waited till we stopped at a light. Then I stood in the aisle. And I took a picture.

  Click-click.

  I sat back down.

  “That picture will go nicely with my other embarrassing photo-journal pictures,” I said. “Room One is going to laugh me right out of Show-and-Tell.”

  After that, Mother snatched my camera away. And she said maybe I needed a nap.

  I covered my ears.

  “Yeah, only how can I even sleep with all of Donald's yakking going on?” I said.

  That man would not stop, I tell you.

  He told us the names of a million jillion Hawaii birds and a million jillion Hawaii flowers. Plus also, he talked about pineapples, and coconuts, and bananas, and papayas.

  Then Donald took a big breath. And he started talking about tuna fish!

  I threw my hands in the air.

  “FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! SOMEONE TAKE HIS MICROPHONE AWAY!” I hollered.

  Mother did a gasp at that comment.

  Daddy did a gasp, too.

  I quick covered my mouth. But it was too late. All the bus people were stretching their necks to look at me.

  “Junie B.! What on earth has gotten into you today?” asked Mother.

  I slumped way down.

  “Sorry, Mother. Sorry. But I've got stress in my head. ’Cause I really need an exciting picture for my photo journal. Only what kind of exciting picture can you get on a stupid dumb nature walk with old people?”

  I stopped and looked over the seat.

  “No offense, Harold,” I said.

  “None taken,” he said back.

  “It's just that I'm running out of time,” I explained.

  “Aren't we all,” said Harold.

  Mother sat me down again.

  “Well, I can promise you one thing, Junie B.,” she said. “If you go on this hike with a bad attitude, nothing good will happen. But if you keep an open mind, you might be surprised. Sometimes nature can be very exciting.”

  I slumped down even more.

  “Yeah, right … exciting,” I said.

  I turned and looked out the window.

  I don't care what she says.

  Nature is not exciting.

  Not even if it's in paradise.

  The bus trip took forever, it seemed.

  But finally! Whew! At last! The driver turned a corner. And we pulled into a parking lot.

  “We're here!” said Donald. “Welcome to our beautiful Hawaiian rain forest!”

  I sprang up like a spring.

  Then I ran outside. And I sniffed real deep.

  “Fresh air! Fresh air! I thought I would never breathe you again!” I said.

  Pretty soon, Donald gathered all of the bus people around him.

  He gave us a nature-guide book. And he told us the hiking rules.

  “Hiking rule number one,” he said. “Please stay on the hiking trail and do not wander off on your own.”

  He went on. “Hiking rule number two: Please do not disturb the natural vegetation.

  “And hiking rule number three: Please be respectful of nature and speak in quiet voices.”

  I looked at Squeezer and rolled my eyes.

  “Wonderful. Another quiet-voice day,” I grouched.

  After that, all of the bus people lined up behind Donald. And we started hiking down the trail.

  It was slow as molasses, I tell you. On account of every two seconds people kept stopping to look at stuff.

  Just plain old normal stuff, I mean! Like plants and flowers and trees!

  Finally, I got frustration in me.

  “Okay, folks … keep it movin'. We've seen it all before,” I called.

  Daddy quick scooped me up. And he sat me on a rock.

  Then he waited for the other bus people to pass by.

  And big surprise.

  I got scolded again.

  He said if I can't behave myself, we will go back to the bus right now. And we will sit there until all the people come back.

  “Is that what you want to do, missy?” he said. “Huh? Is it?”

  I made a grump face.

  “No, Daddy,” I said. “I don't want to do any of this stuff. I wish we could do something exciting. ’Cause I've already seen flowers and nature before.”

  Just then, Mother picked up a flower that was lying on the trail.

  “Oh, but you've never seen a flower quite like this, Junie B.,” she said. “Look how beautiful this is. It looks like a big red powder puff!”

  She stuck it in my hair.

  Then she took out a mirror to let me see.

  I stared at myself very admiring.

  “Whoa,” I said. “I look stunning.”

  Mother laughed. “Yes, you do,” she said. “This would make a really cute picture.”

  My face got brighter. “Hey, yeah!” I said. “This could be the first cute picture of my whole entire photo journal!”

  I quick got my camera. And I held it way out in front of me.

  Then click-click.

  I took a picture of my very own self!

  “Now that one is a keeper,” I said.

  After that, all of us started hiking again.

  Only this time I was the slowpoke. ’Cause I kept picking up powder-puff flowers and sticking them in my hair.

  Pretty soon, my whole head was full of those beautiful things.

  I stuck extra ones in my pockets, and my shirt buttons, and my shoelace holes.

  Then I looked down at Squeezer and smiled.

  “Nature is being a little bit fun,” I said.

  I smiled bigger.

  Who knew?

  We hiked and hiked to the end of the trail.

  Then Donald gave us granola bars. Plus also, we drank Gatorade.

  Donald liked my flower head.

  “You look like a walking lehua blossom,” he said.

  I did a frown at that word.

  “A le-who-a what-a?” I said.

  “A lehua blossom. The flowers in your hair are red lehua blossoms,” he explained. “Lehua blossoms are a favorite food source for a little red bird called an apapane.”

  I stared at that man for a real long time.

  “You have way too much information in your head, Don,” I said.

  Donald laughed real loud.

  Then I laughed, too.

  Only it wasn't actually a joke.

  After we rested, we started hiking back to the bus.

  Mother and Daddy and I went last again. Only this time I had to walk even slower. On account of the flowers kept falling out of my hair. And so I had to keep picking them up and putting them back.

  “Come on, Junie B.,” said Mother. “We need to stay up with the others. If the flowers fall out of your hair, you'll just have to leave them.”

  I did a frown.

  “But I worked very hard at this flower arrangement,” I said. “And I don't want to go back to the bus empty-headed.”

  Mother thought for a minute.

  Then she picked up more flowers from the trail. And she wove them in all over my head. Plus also, she used some bobby pins to hold them.

  “There. That ought to do the trick,” she said. “Now come on. Let's go. We've got to catch up.”

  And so both of us started to run.

  Only too bad for me.

  Because all of a sudden, my shoe came loose. And so I quick sat down on the trail to tie it.

  And that is the last pleasant hiking memory I have.

  WHOOSH!

  The noise zoomed by my ear.

  WHOOSH!

  I did a gasp!

  A teensy red bird flew right by my face!

  I sat there real frozen.

  The bird fluttered and flapped. And chirped and twirped. And dipped and swirled.

  And then—

 
; PLOP!

  THAT CRAZY BIRD LANDED RIGHT ON TOP OF MY HEAD!

  My mouth tried to shout! But no words would come out.

  I quick stood up and tried to shoo him away. But he just flapped and flopped and fluttered some more! And he kept right on staying there!

  Then finally, my voice came back to normal!

  “BIRD! BIRD! 911! 911! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!” I screeched.

  Mother and Daddy came running back to me.

  Their mouths fell all the way open!

  Then they tried to shoo the bird away, too. But it still kept flapping and flopping and fluttering up there!

  Suddenly, Mother covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Oh my gosh! I think it's stuck!” she said. “I think it's tangled in her hair!”

  My eyes got big and wide at that news.

  “TANGLED?” I yelled. “THE BIRD IS TANGLED IN MY HAIR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

  I raised my screech even louder.

  “IT'S TANGLED! IT'S TANGLED! 911! 911! TANGLED BIRD!” I hollered.

  All of the bus people came rushing back at once.

  Plus Donald came rushing back, too.

  He came to a stop in front of the group.

  Then he quick gathered himself together. And he started giving orders.

  “Okay. I need everyone to go back to the bus. Now,” he said. “Please.”

  The old people hurried away.

  Then Donald turned to Mother and Daddy. And he made his voice very calmy.

  “Okay, Mom and Dad … step away from the bird,” he said.

  Mother and Daddy looked at each other. Then both of them stepped away.

  After that, Donald walked to me real slow. And he squatted down next to me. And he held my hand.

  “You okay, honey?” he said.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “I've got a bird on my head here, Don. How good can I be?” I said.

  Donald smiled.

  “I don't know. You look pretty brave to me,” he said.

  I thought for a minute and did a sigh.

  “I'm not, Donald. I'm not brave,” I said. “I'm afraid of jellyfish and eels.”

  Donald shrugged. “Join the club,” he said.

  After that, he gave me a pat. And he told me my final ’structions.

  “Just hold your head perfectly still,” he said. “I'm going to walk behind you and untangle this little guy, okay?”

  My heart pounded real hard.

  “Okay,” I said back.

  I stood as still as could be.

  Donald's voice kept talking real quiet and calm.

  “In all of my years as a nature guide, I have never seen a sight like this,” he said.

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “Really, Donald?” I said.

  “Really,” he said. “I wish I had a picture of this. A picture of this would be one in a million.”

  That's when it hit me!

  I did a gasp.

  “Donald … I have a camera,” I said.

  I pointed to my backpack lying on the trail. “It's right in there.”

  Mother covered her mouth.

  “Oh my gosh. I completely forgot about that,” she said.

  Then she bent down real slow. And she got the camera from my backpack. And—

  Click-click.

  She took a picture!

  I kept on staying still.

  I felt Donald pick up the bird real gentle. And he untangled its feet from my hair.

  Click-click.

  Mother took another picture.

  Then hurray!

  Donald held out his hands. And he showed me the teensy little red bird.

  “Look, see? Not one feather harmed,” he said. “Good job, young lady.”

  I smiled real relieved.

  “Good job to you, too, Donald,” I said.

  He winked at me.

  “How about if you and I go release this little fella back to his tree?” he said. “He's going to have a pretty exciting story to tell all his friends, isn't he?”

  I thought about Show-and-Tell. “Yes!” I said. “We both are!”

  After that, I took the camera from Mother. And me and Donald went down the trail a little way.

  Donald set the little bird on a rock.

  He kept his hands around the bird real gentle.

  “Ready?” said Donald.

  “Ready,” I said.

  Donald took his hands away.

  And FLAP-FLAP!

  The bird started to fly.

  I began snapping pictures very fast.

  Click-click.

  Click-click.

  Then ZOOM! It flew away.

  For a second, I stood there real silent.

  Donald stood real silent, too.

  “Whoa,” I said finally.

  “Wow,” said Donald.

  We looked at each other and smiled.

  I aimed my camera one more time.

  Click-click.

  I thought for a second.

  I tapped on my chin.

  I put my pencil down and took out my photo journal.

  ’Cause after the bus trip yesterday, we went right to the drugstore. And we got my pictures developed. And they turned out beautifully, I tell you!

  I showed them to Philip Johnny Bob and Squeezer. They loved them very much.

  Also, I tried to show them to Delores. But she was busy getting a facial.

  After I finished looking at the pictures, I lined them up in my journal.

  And I printed their captions all nice and neat.

  I smiled as I read them.

  Mr. Scary was right. A photo journal really does tell a story in pictures.

  And Don was right, too! My bird picture was one in a million!

  I did a sigh. “One in a million,” I whispered. “You really can't beat one in a million.”

  I opened up my suitcase. And I packed my journal real careful.

  I smiled some more. “Room One's first official photo journal ever,” I said.

  I stood up a little straighter.

  ’Cause feeling official made me taller again!

  Just then, the radio went off. Today was going to be our last day in Hawaii. And so Mother and Daddy had set the alarm.

  I looked at the clock and grinned.

  There was still time for one more delicious pancake breakfast!

  I tippytoed over to Daddy and blew air in his face.

  He opened one eyeball.

  I waved.

  “Aloha-ha-ha,” I whispered.

  Daddy did a chuckle.

  I kissed him on his cheek.

  Hawaii was the time of my life.

  BARBARA PARK is one of today's funniest authors. Her Junie B. Jones books are consistently on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists. Her middle-grade novels, which include Skinny-bones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here, and The Graduation of Jake Moon, have won over forty children's book awards. Barbara holds a B.S. in education. She has two grown sons, one small grandson, and a medium-sized dog. She lives with her husband, Richard, in Arizona.

  DENISE BRUNKUS'S entertaining illustrations have appeared in over fifty books. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband and daughter.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2006 by Barbara Park

  Illustrations copyright © 2006 by Denise Brunkus

  All rights reserved.

  Published in the United States by Random House Children's Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

  RANDOM HOUSE and colophon are registered trademarks and A STEPPING STONE BOOK and colophon are trademarks of Random House, Inc.

  www.randomhouse.com/junieb

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s, visit us at www.randomhouse.com/teachers

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Park, Barbara.

  Junie B., first grader: Aloha-ha-ha! / by Barbara Park; illustrated by

  Denise Brunkus. — 1st ed.

  p. cm. (Junie B. Jones series; #26)

  SUMMARY: Excitable Junie B. Jones manages to find trouble both before and during a trip to Hawaii and records each incident in a photo journal given to her by her teacher.

  eISBN: 978-0-375-89448-0

  [1. Vacations—Fiction. 2. Hawaii—Fiction. 3. Photojournalism—Fiction.

  4. Schools—Fiction. 5. Diaries—Fiction.] I. Title: Aloha-ha-ha.

  II. Brunkus, Denise, ill. III. Title.

  PZ7.P2197Jqs 2001 [Fic]—dc22 2005023707

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