Just Breathe

by Rachel Brookes

  “Uh, sure.”

  “I’ve got to make some calls but once you order, just come in and we’ll go over final details.”

  I watched as he walked toward his office, unable to ignore the way his suit pants clung perfectly to his butt. I was hopeless. My thoughts were running rampant at Jenny’s comment when I got to the bar to order lunch.

  I took a seat at the bar and ordered a Caesar chicken wrap with a side order of fries and waited for my Diet Coke to arrive. I could hear Tate’s deep voice through the walls of his office. He sounded like he was in negotiations with someone. Occasionally his voice would raise and I could hear him talk about New York.

  “Here’s your Diet Coke, Savannah.” I looked at the girl standing in front of me. She barely looked twenty-one and her pixie cropped hair accentuated her big green eyes. She was stunning. What the hell? How did she know my name?

  Confused, I thanked her for my drink. She watched me closely and almost as if she could read my mind she spoke. “He talks about you all the time. Savannah this, Savannah that. I assumed it was you by the way he looked at you when you walked in.”

  I spluttered on my drink and quickly regained my composure. “Uh, okay,” I said nervously, taken back by her comment. Tate had no reason to be talking about me; I had no idea as to what he could possibly have to share with his colleagues. His ability to confuse and frustrate me was firing on all cylinders today.

  “I’m Ali, I just started here today.” She leaned over the bar and held out her hand. I smiled and shook her hand quickly. I instantly remembered Tanzi mentioning Ali before.

  “It’s nice meeting you. I’m just going to go and finish this meeting with Tate.”

  “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

  I grabbed my drink and slowly walked toward Tate’s office. I pushed on the door and walked in to find him sitting at his desk on the phone. He raised his eyes when I stepped in and smiled. A large mahogany desk took up the majority of space, with a laptop and a pile of files in a tray and a photo of a woman sat on his desk. My eyes narrowed in on it and I was overwhelmed with how much she looked like Tate and Tanzi.

  My mom, he mouthed when he saw me looking at the photo. The fact that he had a photo of his mum on his desk almost made my heart swell and explode out of my chest. I continued to look around his office while he spoke of Times Square and SoHo. The walls of his office were littered with photos and posters of bands. I smiled as my eyes landed on a photo of a young boy and girl and it was obvious that it was Tate and Tanzi.

  “That was taken when Tanzi and I were ten. We went to the beach with our grandma every summer. Some of my favorite memories are there.”

  I turned around and looked at Tate as he sat behind his desk, his hands behind his head and leaning back in his oversized chair. He had the whole Mr. Business Man look going on. I couldn’t help but swallow hard at the sight of him.

  “I heard you talking about New York.”

  “Were you listening to my conversation?” he asked with a mischievous grin.

  “Uh, no, um, I just heard it through the wall,” I spluttered nervously.

  He laughed softly. “It’s okay, Sav, I’m opening a bar in New York so I’m finalizing details for when I’ve got to go over. I’ll probably go over in a month or so.”

  The door opened and Ali brought in our lunch and placed it on Tate’s desk.

  “Thanks, Ali,” Tate cooed and gave her a wink as she turned to leave. She had to be one of his girls, one of his conquests. She was unimaginably beautiful so there was no way he could resist her. I had seen at least three girls get his attention since I had arrived, and Ali was definitely a ten out of ten compared to them. I looked down at my food and suddenly felt my mood shift.

  “I think this is the first normal conversation we’ve had,” Tate chuckled across from me.

  “Well, you haven’t pissed me off yet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.”

  Chapter Eight

  I stood in the hall of the seventh floor in front of Tanzi and Tate’s apartment and a sense of calm swept through me. I had friends, actual friends who didn’t know a thing about my past; they didn’t see me as a poor orphaned girl or the girl who made her boyfriend kill himself. They saw me for who I was—Savannah Maree Rae from Australia—and it was the best feeling in the world.

  I ran my hands down the front of my fire engine red jeans and fixed my top. I had no idea whether Tate would be here tonight, but I knew I had paid extra attention to getting ready. I don’t know what crazy game my mind was playing, but I seemed to be losing any control over it.

  Jack opened the door with a wide smile as soon as I knocked and he gave me a friendly wink. “Good evening, Miss Rae,” he said ever so politely.

  I laughed at his greeting and rose to my tiptoes and kissed his cheek before shoving the bottle of wine into his hand.

  Looking down at my selection, he smiled. “What’s this?”

  “I could only bring Australian wine,” I replied, making my way to the living room, expecting to find Tanzi and Tate, but he wasn’t there.

  “Sav, this is Lucas, a friend of Jack’s from San Francisco who has just moved down for college,” Tanzi exclaimed in a voice that was an octave too high and a little too excited.

  My eyes left Tanzi’s and travelled to the man standing to her right. He was looking at me nervously, and that’s when it hit me—Tanzi and Jack were playing matchmaker. I studied him closely. His brown eyes were what hit me first; they were covered by glasses that accentuated his sharp cheekbones. His dark blond hair sat in a way that made him have that rugged look that so many girls craved. He was wearing a casual button-down shirt and faded denim jeans that gave him a sophisticated casual look. He was very handsome.

  “Savannah, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand for me to shake. So polite.

  My eyes quickly skimmed to Jack and Tanzi who both looked like children in a candy store, waiting for my reaction. I focused my attention back on Lucas. “Call me Sav, it’s nice to meet you too.”

  A gorgeous smile swept across his face and the four of us made our way into the kitchen to open the bottle of red. I explained exactly where the Hunter Valley was and why it was the best wine in Australia. They listened as I answered all their questions about Australia, and then I couldn’t help but laugh at their failed attempts at an Australian accent. My homesickness and my thoughts of my parents and Corey had nearly strangled me this week but being able to talk about Australia and the amazingness that it was made it ease just a little.

  The night flowed perfectly. Jack excelled in cooking his mother’s spaghetti dish, the wine was delicious and the conversation held my attention. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I wasn’t looking at a man as prey, and it terrified me. Tonight I was looking at Lucas as a nice guy I could talk to without intention and someone who could become a friend. My heart constricted as my mind flooded with a million different emotions. Could I really look at a guy and not see a one-night stand?

  The creak of the front door being opened stopped all conversation in the kitchen. I felt my stomach drop to the floor. It could only be one person. Tate stumbled into the kitchen looking disheveled and reeking of booze with a giggling redhead hanging off his arm.

  “Looks like we’re missing a party,” Tate snorted as his eyes scanned over us.

  Jack quickly moved toward Tate as he watched his unpredictable friend. “Tate, this is Lucas. Lucas, this is Tate. Lucas just moved down from San Fran to go to school,” Jack said quickly in a feeble attempt to stop the growing tension in room.

  Lucas moved from the seat beside me and walked toward Tate, holding out his hand in a show of acknowledgement. Tate hesitated and I saw him sneer as he shook Lucas’ hand. I couldn’t take my eyes off the giggling redhead trying to burrow into Tate’s chest.

  Tate looked among the four of us and scoffed. “Is this some type of double date?”

  “It’s four people having dinner, Tate,”
Tanzi pleaded. “This is not your concern.” I could tell that Tate’s current state made her anxious. He wasn’t steady on his feet and the intensity of his eyes staring at me was making me feel uncomfortable.

  “Can I give you a piece of advice, Lucas?” Tate mumbled, moving his spiteful gaze from me to Lucas. Silence filled the room; you could’ve heard a pin drop. Jack took a step closer to Tate as if he predicted something was about to go down.

  “This one here,” Tate said pointing at me. “She fucks on the first date. So, new friend, you are going to get fucked senseless tonight.” His eyes connected with mine again and my stomach clenched. I felt like I was going to be sick. Tanzi gasped loudly opposite me and I felt Lucas’ body tense beside me. Jack pulled Tate out of the room while the redhead giggled behind them. I couldn’t believe this. How could he do that? This was crushing. This was pure hate.

  Placing my head in my hands, I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing, hoping and praying that when I opened them this would have all been a horrible dream and we would all be sitting at the table laughing at my accent and drinking red wine. But it wasn’t a dream, it was real and it was happening now. Tanzi looked like she could kill a man and Lucas was looking everywhere besides me.

  I stood and marched toward the door leading to the living room before stopping and turning to Tanzi. “Which one is his room?”

  “First door on the right,”

  I stormed through the living room with fire running through my veins. I wasn’t leaving this apartment until this was sorted. I crossed Jack as he was walking out of Tate’s room. “He is a fuckwit,” he growled at me.

  Tate’s door was open and he was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, while the giggling redhead desperately tried to get his attention.

  “Get out,” I roared at her as I stepped through the door.

  Ripping her eyes from Tate, she grinned at me like a Cheshire Cat. She sauntered toward me and I was overcome by the distinct smell of Jack Daniels and stale cigarettes on her breath. I scoffed at her smudged mascara and smeared lipstick; the word trashy came to mind. Pushing me slightly, she stood her ground. “How about no, bitch?”

  “I said, GET THE FUCK OUT!” I used all my weight to shove her into the hall before slamming the door in her face.

  I looked at Tate, my anger returning. “Get up,” I ordered.

  Tate raised his head slowly and locked eyes with me. I stalked across his bedroom until I was standing in front of him and repeated myself. He didn’t budge. With all my force, I grabbed his arms and pulled him to his feet, only causing him to stumble into me.

  He regained his composure and stared at me. “What do you want, Savannah?”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  He was silent. He offered no response. Not a glance, not a sigh, not a smirk, absolutely nothing.

  Finally his eyes made their way back to mine. “If you haven’t realized, I have company waiting for me, so if you could make this snappy.” An obnoxious laugh rose from his chest as I pushed him back to a sitting position on the bed. He pushed his hair from his eyes and watched me closely as I tried to regain my composure.

  “What the hell was that?” I growled, pointing toward the door.

  “I don’t know what you are talking about, Savannah,” he spat, his tongue swirling around each letter as he said my name.

  I inhaled as I felt anger rising quickly through my veins. “You know exactly what I am talking about. Why do you have to be such a bloody prick? You had no right to say that.”

  “What did I do that was so wrong? Telling Lucas the truth? I had every right to tell him.”

  My anger was now soaring and the glare I was directing at him was full of spiteful hatred that I had no intention of hiding. He was deplorable. His eyes narrowed in on me while his lips curled into a smirk, and I could tell that this situation was highly amusing to him, and that only set me off more.

  “You think this is funny?” I bellowed. I moved across the room so I was within inches of him. I was breathing deeply in an attempt to contain the anger taking over my body, but the smirk that lingered on his lips increased my hostility.

  “You are reacting to this way too much.” His eyes darkened as he stood up from the bed and he now had his firm body up against me. He was the perfect height to be able to look down at me. I had never been this close to him before. My mind went into overdrive with thoughts that I should never have. He was the perfect height to snuggle in to, and my head would have fit perfectly in the ridges of his toned chest. STOP IT, SAVANNAH!

  “Get away from me,” I warned.

  I moved my hands to his chest and with open palms attempted to push him away from me. This situation was getting out of hand. At lightning speed, his hands shot up and he gripped my wrists like he was claiming ownership of me. His fingers fit perfectly around my small wrists and I noticed how big his hands were compared to mine.

  “You are way too sexy when you are angry at me,” he growled into my ear, sending shivers through my body.

  Pulling myself back to reality, I struggled against his grip, which only enticed him to hold me tighter. “Tate this is not the time or place to try and use your pathetic attempts at seduction on me.”

  “What if I do this?” he whispered before I felt his lips kiss the sensitive area between my ear and neck and then the softness of his tongue licking a line near my hairline and I couldn’t stop the soft moan escaping my tight mouth.

  “Don’t you dare think that thi—”

  His lips crushed mine with such force that I stumbled back and crashed into the set of drawers on the far wall. I winced as the sharp corner dug into my back but that was soon forgotten when I felt his tongue pressing against my lips, begging to be let in. I opened my mouth and his tongue met mine in fevered hunger. His hands cupped my butt, lifting me effortlessly and sitting me on the top of his drawers. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip as he used his knee to open my legs as he stepped against my body. His mouth continued to engulf mine and his assault on my lips didn’t halter. The sensation of his body rubbing against mine and knowing that Lucas, Tanzi and Jack were only a wall away excited me in a crazy way, and I felt every inhibition I had toward Tate quickly extinguish. The giggling redhead didn’t even cross my mind.

  “What are we doing?” I murmured breathlessly against his lips while my heart thudded hard in my chest. I softly moaned as his teeth nipped my bottom lip. I was close to losing all control.

  “What? You want me to stop?” He abruptly pulled away from me, breaking the contact of our heated bodies. My mind flashed with the events of tonight; god, I had Lucas sitting out there, who was here with the expectations of being set up with me, and here I was groping Tate.

  “You are the biggest arse I know!” I jumped off the drawer and crossed the distance between us and grabbed his hair, slamming his lips to mine.

  “You frustrate the fuck out of me,” he moaned against my lips, which only fuelled my increasing heat. The vibration of our breathing and the feverish way our hands were groping each other was in desperation. I couldn’t deny that I had thought about this very moment since the first time my eyes landed on him. I wanted him; I wanted nothing more than for him to take me here in his room and forget everything that had happened, but I knew this had to stop. I needed to control this.

  “We have to stop,” I murmured against his lips. With one swift movement I reluctantly pulled away from him. My body hated me for losing the sensation of his firm body against mine.

  “Really? I can think of many reasons why we shouldn’t,” he breathed heavily, his hands placed delicately on my hips.

  Regretfully, I took a step away from him as he sat on the bed and dropped his head in his hands. What had just happened shouldn’t have happened. This was Tate; he couldn’t be my prey. He couldn’t.

  “Why did you say that to Lucas?” I asked, still needing an answer.

  His head dropped, and his eyes closed as a sigh escaped his lips. “I don’t kn
ow. All I know is that you seem to make me say and do things I shouldn’t. Everything changed for me the minute you arrived.”

  Chapter Nine

  The good thing about Mr. Davenport was that he believed in leaving work early on Friday afternoons, and I was ecstatic that he brought this motto across the Pacific Ocean. My day at Beautify had involved a before 7 a.m. business meeting with Mr. Davenport and the marketing team for final preparations for the magazine launch, a two-hour conference call with the New York office and the most enjoyable part of my day was having the sole responsibility of finalizing models for the fashion show and being asked out for a drink by a handsome model by the name of Tyson, who I had affectionately nicknamed Tyson the Texan due to his amazing accent.

  I had decided that I needed to forget about Tate Connors. All day my thoughts had been overcome with flashbacks of last night. Every time I thought about it, I would crave his lips all over again. I was distracted all day; Mr. Davenport looked at me suspiciously, questioning the smile that had been on my face. Just brilliant, now Tate was making me smile. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his hands felt on my body, the way his mouth hungered for mine and the way I was willing to give my body to him so easily. I was having a mental battle with myself all day about whether the kiss had been the best or worst thing that had happened since I arrived in Los Angeles.

  The phone on my desk shrilled to life, breaking me from my stare-off with Tyson as he walked out of the fitting room and was now staring back at me. God, I was glad he was going to be shirtless tomorrow. He winked as he walked out of the office, not before giving me the “call me” sign. Oh, I’d call him all right; he would distract me from Tate.

  “Ms. Rae, there is someone here to see you,” Judy the receptionist said on the phone.

  I looked up over my desk the very moment that Lucas came into my view as he walked down the hall toward my office. What was he doing here?