Trusting Jake

by Casey Hagen

  One thing she’d learned from this whole fiasco is that she’d never ever tolerate someone she loved going behind her back for any reason. Not ever again. She had to know why Jake had kept her in the dark. “You should have told me from the beginning that they were investigating my life.”

  “You’re right, I should have,” he agreed.

  She cupped his cheek briefly before letting her hand fall away. “So why didn’t you?”

  “Because I wanted to help and I was worried if I said anything, I’d never see you again,” Jake said.

  She had nothing to say to that because damn him, he was absolutely right. She would have found someone else.

  Tension born of residual anger and a healthy dose of the lust they’d been tiptoeing around swirled between them.

  The air grew heavy with their unspoken wants and needs, so heavy she had to break away before she drowned in it.

  Taking a step back, she shed her flannel shirt, leaving her in her tank top, and headed for the fridge. “Want a drink?” she asked, pulling out a beer.

  “Sure, whatever you’re having is fine,” he said as he approached the closed laptop sitting on the coffee table. “I hope this isn’t your personal laptop.”

  She handed him the Corona and collapsed onto the couch. “No, Sean set me up with it.”

  “And you’ve avoided all of your accounts?” he said, scrutinizing her with a worried glance.

  “Jake…take some time off.” She took a sip and patted the seat next to her.

  “I’m surprised by your choice in drink,” he said before tipping the bottle to his lips and taking the offered seat next to her.

  “Yeah, well, Carter didn’t approve so it’s the first thing I asked for Sean to stock. I’m on the fence about it.”

  He laughed, the sound a welcome break from the turbulent energy that always seemed to sit between them. “I like dark beers better,” Jake said.

  “I’m not sure I like beer at all, but I adore doing whatever the hell I want,” she said, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table with her sneakers on. “Can I ask you something and you’ll tell me the full truth?” she said, turning her head toward him.

  He grunted. “As much as I probably shouldn’t bare all to you, I seem to be unable to do anything else.”

  “Will they respect my wish and not interfere?” she asked.

  He exhaled, and his shoulders slumped with it. “They will, to a point. They won’t watch you die.” He turned to her, his green eyes unyielding. “Neither will I.”

  “Okay,” Destiny said, his answer telling her exactly what she needed to do. She patted his leg. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go shower.”

  He glanced up at her with that inquisitive stare of his. “Uh, sure. Yeah. I’ll be here.”

  “There are plenty of towels if you want to get cleaned up,” Destiny said twenty minutes later when she came back out wearing a thin, petal-pink nightshirt and cotton shorts that did little to hide the body underneath.

  She looked small, sweet, and far too tempting for his sanity.

  He’d been so damn careful with her. All in an effort to make sure he never resembled her husband in any way. He didn’t want so much as the way he held his fork to be anything like the vile son of a bitch.

  How could he possibly do the same when it came to physical desire?

  The soft notes of his mother’s favorite song, “Sittin’ On the Dock of the Bay,” drifted out from the speakers of the laptop.

  He swallowed down all the things he wanted to say, the desire to reach for her, and focused instead on the way her damp hair curled against her cheek. Not an easy feat with the light from the lamp penetrating the fabric, revealing the dusky nipples of her gently rounded breasts. “Great. Uh, thanks.”

  “I love this song,” she said, padding along on her bare feet toward him.

  He took a step back. “It was my mother’s favorite.”

  She studied him, as though searching for something. “Do you look like her?” she asked.

  “No,” he said, taking a step away from her. He’d had to come to terms with the guy in the mirror, and the fact that he looked so much like a monster from his past.

  Only he’d set out to be the complete opposite.

  She took two steps toward him in return. “I always dreamed this guy would come along, sweep me off my feet, and we’d have this big family and happily messy life littered with toys and dirty socks. And at night, with the kids tucked in bed, we’d turn the music down low and dance in the quiet chaos in our living room,” Destiny said quietly. “A silly girl’s dream.”

  He reached out and brushed the strand of hair from where it dropped in front of her eye. “Neither of us got the lives we dreamed of, but we have this,” he said, offering her his hand.

  She smiled, curling her hand into his, and he walked her out onto the middle of the carpet and guided her into his arms. Pressing his chin to her hair, he inhaled the hint of citrus from her shampoo.

  They swayed to the music, her breasts pressing against him, their thighs brushing, her fingertips dancing along the edge of his shirt and over the cords of his neck.

  She let go of the fear and pain in his arms, he felt it as relief coursed through her and she let herself be vulnerable, her muscles fluid, her body naturally moving with his as if they’d stood there a hundred times over, in their own living room, the evidence of a life well-lived scattered on the floor around them.

  Who needed a first kiss when glorying in the discovery of a mutual dream?

  Jake,” Destiny whispered in the doorway to his room a good hour later. They’d said goodnight after their dance. She’d headed for the safety of her room, closing the door for the first time since she checked in.

  He’d headed for the shower.

  She listened to the water run, the break and shift in the sound, and imagined him in there, running the soap over his tan skin, the water rinsing the suds down the drain.

  And she’d wanted.

  For a good hour after he’d shut off the water, she’d laid in bed listening on baited breath as though if she tried hard enough, she could hear the rhythm of his breathing in the next room.

  “Hmmm, everything okay?” he asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position in the bed.

  “Yeah, I just, I had one last favor to ask you,” she said, avoiding looking him in the eye.

  “Okay.”

  She wrung her hands in front of her and glanced up at him. “I’ve only ever been with Carter.”

  The muscle in his jaw ticked, and his eyes narrowed. “Destiny.”

  “If this goes wrong—”

  “It won’t,” he said, his voice grating out the words in a rough way that made her shiver to the tips of her toes.

  “None of us know that. There are no guarantees. I don’t want my only intimate experience to be with him. I don’t want to remember it at all. I thought, maybe…” her words trailed off and her lungs squeezed tight, fearing rejection, terrified she might never know what it was like to have a man who genuinely cared for her touch her.

  “I’m not into one-night stands. I won’t cross the line with you and just walk away after as if nothing ever happened between us.”

  “My life is a mess, I don’t have much more than this to give.” No tomorrows. Just tonight. She just needed tonight, but she’d be honest. She wouldn’t lead him on with promises of more. Not when she didn’t know what kind of life she’d be tethering him to.

  “We can figure that out later,” he said.

  “You’ll do it?”

  He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood wearing nothing more than a pair of snug-fitting, black boxer briefs.

  Her throat ran dry. Unable to swallow, she just stared with her mouth hanging open, her lungs unable to pull in a full breath.

  “Are you afraid of me?” he asked, taking a step toward her.

  “No,” she said.

  I’m just afraid for my heart.

  “You’r

e sure?”

  She raised her chin and kept her gaze on his. “Yes.”

  He did that thing with his head, where he pressed his temple against hers as though he needed to touch her but didn’t dare use his hands. “This starts with you,” he rasped into the air next to her. “You’ll have to make the first move if this is what you really want.”

  She didn’t know how to touch a man. A man other than Carter.

  Don’t go there.

  She wanted to touch Jake everywhere. To trace the lines of his muscles from his shoulders to his calves, memorizing the curves and valleys along the way.

  No specific place on his body called to her over another, and she wanted to get this one time just right.

  She bit her lip to keep it from trembling from a sudden case of nerves. Keeping her gaze on his, she reached for the hem of her nightshirt and pulled it over her head.

  With the fabric around her fist, she tucked it under her chin as a bout of shyness overtook her.

  Heat and desire flared in his eyes, giving her the courage to lower her arm and let the cotton slip from her fingers to pool on the floor beside her.

  “That’s a solid first move,” Jake whispered. He reached out a knuckle and brushed it against the base of her throat before dragging it down the center of her, setting every single cell on fire within her.

  His breath hitched when he grazed the skin between her breasts, telling her just how much she affected him.

  Her nipples puckered tight and ached to be touched, something she’d always wanted, but she’d never experienced.

  Carter had never worried about her pleasure, just his own.

  Jake dropped to his knees before her, his hands going to her waist. Hooking his fingers over the edge of her shorts, he slid them down her legs.

  Exposed, she had no idea what to do so she reached for him and buried her fingers in his hair.

  He tipped his head back and glanced up at her, his mouth just inches away from the tight bud desperate to be touched.

  With his eyes on hers, he closed his mouth over her, his tongue gliding and swirling over the sensitive peak in the single most sensual exploration of her body.

  He massaged her hip, before gliding his fingers along her rib cage and over the swell of her other breast. His thumb and forefinger closed around her nipple and gently rolled it, sending a flood of damp warmth between her thighs.

  She could die now. With nothing more than this man watching her as he savored her body and soothed her soul with the way he focused solely on her needs.

  He asked for nothing. He didn’t touch himself. Everything he did was a gift to her.

  His hand drifted away from her breast, leaving it free for the same loving attention from his mouth and tongue that lavished on the other side. Kneading the soft flesh of her belly, he teased, tasted, and tantalized her.

  The cool air grazed her damp, exposed nipple, and it squeezed impossibly tight, but she welcomed the pleasure to the point of sweet pain. She’d been numb for so long, denying her needs, sacrificing her life, but now, Jake awakened desire and need in her.

  She wanted to give that feeling back. Right now—his thumb drifted to the patch of hair at the heart of her and slid between her thighs, her eyes crossed with barely restrained lust, all thoughts of what she wanted to do to him taking flight under the languid rush of arousal at the heart of her.

  She whimpered…then froze at the sound.

  “Shhh,” he whispered. “It’s me, and I want all of your sounds. Stay with me, Destiny.” Parting her, he sucked his finger into his mouth and slid it inside her.

  She groaned, her head falling back. He touched something inside her, something unfamiliar and delicious, making her scared to move lest she lose the sensation.

  “You like that?” he said, pressing a kiss to the heart of her.

  “God, yes,” she rasped.

  “What else do you like?” he asked against her folds before licking into her.

  She locked her fingers in his hair and swayed under his mouth. “I don’t know.”

  He froze and pulled back. “You don’t know?” he asked, confusion on his face.

  “It’s never been for me,” she said, her voice catching in her throat, ashamed to admit it.

  He pushed up to his feet and slid his hands behind her neck, then into her hair. Dipping his mouth so he hovered just a breath above her mouth, his breath mingled with hers. “From this moment on, it’s only for you. Always.”

  His mouth slanted over hers, swallowing her broken cry, his words releasing pain she hadn’t even realized she still carried.

  Jake’s every step from the moment he met her had been for her well-being, her happiness.

  The realization broke her heart knowing that soon, so very soon, her life would be on a collision course that would only bring them both pain…and a dose of betrayal.

  She kissed him with desperate passion, needing to taste and savor their time, their only time, a memory she’d carry in her heart for as long as she had.

  As though the same desperation haunted him, he slid his tongue along hers, a low hum bubbling up in his throat as he continued to seek more.

  He plucked her clean off her feet, one hand tangled in her hair, the other palming the curve of her ass as he continued his sexy assault with his hot mouth on hers.

  She wound her legs around his waist, holding him to her, with his thick heat pulsing against her core.

  Lowering her to the bed, he pulled away, but kept his hot gaze on her as he hooked his thumbs around his underwear and dropped them to his ankles.

  She tried not to stare, but holy hell, he looked nothing like Carter. His length, the thickness, how—

  “We’ll go slow,” he said quietly. “If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say the word.”

  “It won’t hurt?” she asked, feeling like an inexperienced idiot.

  “No, not if I take the time to make sure you’re ready first,” he said, sliding a hand along her thigh.

  Goosebumps rose along her arms and over the skin of her belly.

  She glanced down at him, at the bead of moisture at the tip of him, and desperately wanted to run her tongue over the droplet and taste him.

  “There’s time for that later,” he said, glancing down at where her gaze had landed.

  But there wasn’t. Only he didn’t know it.

  She rolled to her side and shifted down on the bed so she was eye level with his hard heat. Curling her fingers around his warm length, she wrapped her mouth around him and swirled her tongue over the tip, the salty taste bursting on her tongue.

  “You taste good,” she whispered before sliding her mouth over him again, deeper this time, until he bumped the back of her throat, leaving the other half of him to the ministrations of her hand as she slid up and down over him.

  One hand fisted in her hair, the other in the sheet as his hips bucked, thrusting him deeper into her mouth.

  Slick moisture flooded between her thighs. She desperately needed something, but she didn’t know what. She grasped for his hand that held the sheet and dragged it down, settling it between her legs.

  He growled and dropped his head back. “You’re soaked,” he said as he parted her, his fingers gliding inside and stretching her.

  She gasped, letting go of the grip she had on him. “I’m ready. Please, Jake, it aches.”

  He pulled his glistening fingers from her and parted her thighs before sinking between them. On his knees, his palm braced on the mattress, he guided himself into her with excruciating slowness that had her clawing at his skin like a crazy woman.

  “Stop torturing me,” she begged with ragged breaths.

  He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted. “I’m trying to be careful.”

  “Please,” she pleaded, bucking her hips, trying to take him deeper.

  “Fuck,” he muttered and then glided to the hilt.

  She sighed as his length stretched her and she pulsed around him. “More,” she gasped out in a broken whisper of sweet relief.

  He wrapped his arms around her and sat back on his haunches, taking her with him. With a hand on her waist, he guided her hips, setting the pace for her to ride him.

  He nibbled at her lips, moaned into her mouth, and set her on fire with desire as his every move, every sound, told her how she affected him.

  Her abdomen coiled tight every time she took him deeper until she felt tight enough to snap. Spasms started, pulsing with pleasure as she clamped down on him. She slowed, not sure if she should continue—

  “No. Don’t stop,” he grunted. “Keep—gah,” he thrust into her with startling force, “keep going.”

  He buried his face against her neck and thrust again as she picked up her pace. Panting, he held her impossibly tight as he drove into her.

  When her inner muscles locked on him, spasms flexed around him. Over and over, her muscles squeezed while the deep pulse of sharp release rained over her.

  Tears sprung to her eyes, her muscles gave out, and Jake was right there, ready to take over, pushing her higher and higher, until she screamed out with the pleasure of it.

  He growled against her skin, his hot release filling her, his shaft pulsing inside, making them one.

  He rained kisses over her damp face and smoothed her sweaty hair from where it hung in front of her eyes. Shifting her, he laid her in the center of the bed, then joined her.

  “Jake?” she whispered.

  “Hmmm,” he hummed.

  “Thank you. For this, for everything,” she said, needing him to know. Knowing this was the last chance she had to say it before—

  “Shhh, get some rest. You’ve got the battle of a lifetime ahead of you,” he said, his voice drifting off in sleep.

  She stared up at the ceiling and held the arm he kept lying over her belly. A lone tear rolled down her temple, disappearing into her hair.

  Yes, she did. Sooner than he thought.

  Chapter 10

  -->