Self Apocalypse: The Beginning

by John French

  Quickly, I began to tune in the radio trying to find the signal. Every now and again I would catch something, but it would fade as fast it had came. I started to move the wire around the cabin trying different angles, and then returning to the tuner to attempt finding just the right place. Finally after working with the antenna in about twenty different directions I caught a stronger signal. I still couldn’t make it out fully, but I new I was on the right track. I continued to play with the antenna until I actually could somewhat hear the broadcast. It was still a little weak, but I could make out what was being said. Maybe now I could get some answers to questions that had been grinding at my thoughts over the past months.

  Chapter Ten

  The Decision

  “For the Lamb which is in

  the midst of the throne shall

  feed them, and shall lead them

  unto living fountains of waters:

  and God shall wipe away all

  tears from their eyes.”

  -Revelation 7:17

  Snow blanketed land and nearly reached the bottom of the windows on the cabin. There was a crudely built wooden box by the door serving as a freezer for food that was not smoked or dried for preservation. A narrow trail led from the door to the outlook, and another branched from it leading to large stacks of wood partially to completely covered with snow. Another trail led westward leading to the spring which had been dug out several times. It was partly frozen now and ice chunks lay around where it had been cut into over the weeks. The sound of birds no longer filled the air, and had been replaced by howling wind.

  Inside, the cabin was dimly lit from what little light made its way in during this cloudy winter day. The stove was burning wood at a steady pace and warmed the small cabin to more than comfortable temperature. A good size stack of wood lay next to the woodstove, and a deerskin from the fall’s hunt hung stretched on the wall above the stack. Items lay scattered about the cabin and gave it the look of a well lived in space. Badly woven baskets hung from the log cut rafters containing dried fruit and vegetables. Can goods lined the floor by the table stacked in neat rows.

  Sitting at the table with a hot cup of water in hand, I slowly sipped wishing I had some coffee. There was only enough for three cups left, and I was holding on to it for as long as I could. I would definitely want to enjoy a cup when spring found its way back. The hot water slowly worked its way down to my stomach as it warmed my body. While trying to enjoy my hot treat I stared at the bearskin that was draped over the other chair. I had run into the bruin while picking crab apples during the fall. Between him and the deer I had shot in front of the cabin one morning, I had acquired more than enough meat to last the entire winter. It was a good thing too, because I didn’t have a winter jacket now. I had lost that when the camper burned, and to tell you the truth, hadn’t even have thought about it until that first real cold morning had settled in. I had a sweater though that I had left at the cabin before all that commotion, and was able to salvage two sweatshirts from the camper. I was also able to recover enough padding from what cushions remained to make a proper mattress. That had made a world of change for me at night, but it was still nothing to go bragging about. The bear’s hide was serving a dual purpose right now. I was using it as an extra blanket and to cover me when I stepped out for wood. I really didn’t have the things needed to make the skin into a coat, but I guess if I had to I could figure something out.

  The winter had been a long one so far, but it was nearing its end and thoughts of spring flourished in my mind. I had been faced with a very large decision, and would have to make a choice very soon. I had already been making plans of how I was going to go about this if I decided to leave. However, the thought of leaving safety for an unknown place weighed heavy on my mind. I knew there would be dangers and that there was a chance I wouldn’t complete the journey. There was also the chance that I wouldn’t be able to get through another winter here as well. The can goods that helped me this winter wouldn’t be here next year, and there was no guarantee that I would be able to plant a successful garden here. There was also the loneliness that encompassed me here. I yearned to speak with someone, and to not just hear a voice on the radio. In the end it really was worth the risk of leaving my mountain perch. Besides, I’m sure it was only a matter of time before someone stumbled upon my dwelling. Then I would be faced with the reality of having to deal with a person (or persons) that may or may not wish me harm. Faced with that type of situation alone was not a good thought. That old saying “there’s strength in numbers” really meant something, and those numbers were out there just waiting for more to join them.

  The broadcast still came on a nightly basis. Sometimes it lasted a while, and other times it was short and sweet. It usually came just after night darkened the sky above. The signal came from a radio station near here that was erected for the purpose of finding other survivors looking to rebuild. They had apparently taken control of a town which was fortified against outside elements. The warnings were severe as to the chaos still gripping the country. There were other towns like it as well, and some had a military presence. Communication across the country was slowly coming back online, and the push to start over had begun. There still wasn’t a centralized government, but democracy prevailed in the towns and outposts that were slowly regaining control over their region.

  In-between these safe havens stretched vast amounts of land either completely useless from the attack or running wild with mad men and warlords. It seemed half the world wanted to rebuild and the other half wanted to destroy it. Fear for survival obviously still gripped a better part of the country, and struggles for power in small sections as well. The nightly broadcast warned of these dangers for those seeking to travel to their town. Deep down inside I knew I was going to have to face those dangers if I ever wanted a chance at living a somewhat normal life again. Sure, I knew things would never be the same, but even before all this changes occurred on a regular basis. Life was about having to adapt to those changes, move on, and live out our lives as best we could.

  I guess my decision was made then. I was going to go look for this land of opportunity and find a new life. A life that might allow me to once again walk carefree, and have the chance to establish new roots. Maybe even start a family. That was something that I had never really given much thought to before, but after being secluded for so long I found myself wishing I had a partner to share this misery with. I was almost positive it wouldn’t be miserable if someone was here. The thought of little feet running around didn’t seem like such a bad idea either. After all that has happened one begins to see what is really important in life. I just truly hoped my eyes didn’t open too late.

  Now that I was sure I was going to make the long journey westward over the mountains, I had to seriously put some thought into my route and what I was going to bring. I knew the general direction of my new destination, but knew I was going to have to spend some time searching for its exact location. They gave many landmarks to look for in their broadcast for those traveling from any direction. I had been memorizing those I would see on my way from the east as I drew near. My travels would take me over the mountains that seemed to be endless to look upon from the cliffs on my mountain. There was no doubt that I wouldn’t be able to travel in a straight line either. Avoiding high mountain peaks as I worked through the mountain ranges was going to be tough, but I was going to have to try as hard as I could to save energy. Veering too far off course wouldn’t due, so I was going to have to tackle some rugged terrain. I would however keep it as little as possible.

  I would only bring one pack with me so the small one would stay behind. I was going to try and bring both guns. Ammunition for the .410 was running low, but there was more than a chance I’d be able to get more once I arrived. I couldn’t burden myself with the weight of all the blankets and the sleeping bag would take too long to dry if it got wet. I decided since it would be during the summer, I was going to just pack my wool blanket and take m
y chances. A dangerous risk, but I was going to have to take many in order for this to work. I would wear the clothes on my back and bring the sweater in case of any chill. Food was going to be the big priority. There was no way I could pack enough to last the trip, so I would have to eat a lot on the trail whenever the opportunity arose.

  Time was another factor in this whole ordeal. It was probably the most important one too. The time it was going to take me to hike through was going to consume most, if not all the summer months. Timing my departure was going to have to be just right. I needed to wait until the snow was almost completely gone, and for the nights to be warm enough to survive without the constant need of a fire. I figured if I could steadily hike until I thought I was about half way, I would be able to stop for a week or two to rest and regain my strength. Then I could push through to the end.

  There was definitely a lot of planning to do. I just wished I had paper and a pencil or pen to write with. A list would definitely be a tremendous help right now, especially with my habit of forgetting things. My plan would have to be to just lay out what I was bringing and use the visual list. Finally making a decision made me feel good, and with that newly found drive and happiness I decided one cup of coffee was in order.

  * * * * *

  It wouldn’t take long before the sounds of spring soon filled the air once more. The days were growing longer and warmer now. The rest winter didn’t seem so bad after I had resolved to move on. The time spent preparing for my journey had helped the days fly by with little boredom. Packing for the trip had been done several times, and changes made where necessary for the sake of weight. I took what gear I needed and what I could bring that I would want once I got there. Though it would make a great companion, the radio would only be a burden so that would stay behind. I made sure to pack so my bag would be as silent as it could possibly be so as not to bring attention to myself if I came close to others along the way. The .410 found a nice resting place tied to the side of the pack. My rifle would stay in my hands ready for defense if needed. I was determined not to use it for food if I could, knowing that the report from the blast might attract anyone who might be nearby. It was a vast wilderness I was going to tract across, so the possibility of running into anyone was slim. I wasn’t going to take any chances though as I wasn’t really sure what was between me and the town I was going to travel to.

  I stepped outside and took in a large breathe of mountain air. I could smell the earth again, and it heightened my senses giving me courage. Spring was always a welcomed friend after the brutal winter. A small fire was started and I took a walk to the spring with my canteen and metal coffee pot. The spring had luckily served its purpose in providing fresh water during the winter months. It now provided the water I would need to make coffee with the grains I had been saving. I kept enough to have one and a half cups with, but I would make two. A weak cup of coffee to start the morning with, and then a strong cup to enjoy the full flavor of what would be my last coffee for who knows how long. Maybe when that was done I could put all the grains together and try to get a third cup. I was beginning to have problems with the fact that I was going to out of caffeine.

  As water heated by the fireside, I went into the cabin to get one of the chairs and placed it out front overlooking the land below. This was the first morning I had been able to sit out long with only a sweater on. The breeze that blew against my face was warm, and was a true sign that the time was now right. That was what the coffee was for, a celebration of spring officially taking hold, and my awaited departure from my home on the mountain. I took my leisure this morning and moved with no great hurry. I wanted to enjoy my last day here. I had everything I needed right now, and didn’t have to worry about gathering anything for the week. My time here was done, and I was going to need every bit of strength I had for tomorrow and the days to come.

  With coffee made I sat in the chair and looked out across the great expanse. Very few clouds painted the morning’s sky. Visibility today was one of the best I had witnessed since being here. I could make out what must have been a few farms in the distance, and two great bodies of water. I could see the town I once found to be a friendly escape from the trees that surrounded me. I wondered how things had turned out. Did they finally come to terms and take control? It would seem that going into town would be a smarter bet than traveling across the great distance I had chosen to go. I had a feeling though things weren’t in good order. With the few that were causing harm in town, and without resources, I was more than certain a trip there wouldn’t be good for my health. I had made my decision, so I was going to have to stick to it.

  When I was finished with my coffee I made the strong cup I had been waiting for. The aroma was to die for and the flavor was priceless. I enjoyed it like no other coffee before, making it last as long as possible. After that I combined all the used grains was able to get an equally enriched cup of coffee. It was the last of my supply of caffeine, and the beginning of another long period of time craving for some. Only this time I didn’t have any to save and look forward to having. I enjoyed that cup to the last drop, and even went as far as to drink the water from it when I rinsed it out. Now that my little celebration was done I put everything back and worked on my gear.

  Everything was packed and ready to go now. I just spent time checking the pack making sure all was tight and secure. The gear was propped by the door for the morning so I could just grab it and go. I planned to visit the spring on the way out to top off my canteen before the long journey ahead. Now that the time had arrived after waiting and prepping for so long, it seemed that life just slowed down. I’m not sure if it was emotions from leaving or anxiety of what was ahead, but my mind kept locked on what was happening and even giving me with second thoughts. It was now or never though. So it was going to have to be now.

  That night I listened to the far off broadcast one more time on the radio. The more I listened the more I realized I was doing the right thing. I was filled with excitement now and found myself having troubles finding sleep. When rest finally found my slumbering mind, I dreamt of the peaceful life I had been searching for as only a dream could provide.

  Early the next morning I cleaned up a little and put things away as best I could. I’m not sure why, but inside I felt I might come back and would want things to be in order if I did. That was one thing I had thought of. If things didn’t work out I still had a cabin to come back to. Looking over the cabin once more and seeing that I couldn’t do more, I went to the door and picked up my gear. With the pack on my back and rifle in hand, I stepped out of the cabin closing the door behind me. I looked out over the view that my front yard gave me, and then headed in a westerly direction to the spring and to the unknown territory that lay ahead.

  Chapter Eleven

  A Place of Rest

  “…Stand ye in the ways,

  and see, and ask for the

  old paths, where is the

  good way, and walk therein,

  and ye shall find rest for your

  soul…”

  -Jeremiah 6:16

  Pines towered high above the forest floor here. Never had I seen such large trees as the ones that now stood before me on my chosen path. Their bark was thick and appeared to be very old. Undoubtedly this was a virgin pine forest, never seeing the blade of an axe or tasting the bitter bite of industrial progress. It was almost mid-summer now and I had been attempting to maneuver around a long range of tall mountains for almost two days. I was beginning to veer off my determined course by too much now, and would have to consider climbing. There appeared to be a saddle in the ridge where I presently was, offering a less difficult hike and lower elevation than the surrounding monuments of nature it linked together.

  It was already late afternoon though, and I did not want to begin an ascent until the next day. So I began to work my way through the tall pines to the base of the ridge where I would make camp for the night. I found a spot for my camp just beyond the pines in a grove of white o
aks which embraced a pristine mountain run off. The water was very clear and refreshingly cold. To my utter surprise the small stream contained minnows. I watched them as they darted up and down the current. Minnows in streams such as these were amazingly common. You wouldn’t normally think that a small stream barely three feet wide would hold any life, but on the contrary they held more than their share. I would at times find crayfish as well in these streams. That had always made a tasteful treat for dinner. At other times trout would be abundant and would provide a large meal. This particular stream though seemed to only harbor the small minnows I was curiously watching.

  I set out to build a quick shelter before fishing for dinner. I found a tall sapling that I bent over and tied down for the backbone to this night’s home. I then took a few long branches and stuck one end in the ground and leaned the other end over the sapling. This soon created the frame for which I would continue to lay branches and pine boughs over until brush shelter was erected. After the shelter was completed a small fire ring was constructed and wood brought in. Bait was next on my agenda and soon after minnows. A dozen minnows and some raspberries I had picked earlier in the day made for tonight’s entrée. A large flat stone was retrieved from the stream which was placed in the fire pit. The flames soon heated the flat rock, and it was used to cook the minnows on. It was like having a pan, but it did the trick and there weren’t any dishes to clean.