Blood Bound

by Sasha Leone

  “See you on the other side,” he salutes.

  “I’ll be waiting,” I return.

  Before he can even peel out of the alleyway, I’m already running to my car.

  I can hardly wait to put this all into action.

  I peel out onto Main street. An empty shell of a store on the corner has been set on fire. Shattered storefronts litter the apocalyptic landscape. I’d almost enjoy the chaos, if I wasn’t so worried about Nia.

  Nia...

  Finn has already given me the address to her friend’s place—where she’s been staying since the incident with Semyon—and I’m desperately tempted to go pay her a visit. I’m still torn on whether or not I should let her know I’m alive and fighting for her, or if I should wait until I’m actually home free before I see her again.

  ... But if I don’t win my fight, I’ll never get to see her again.

  This could truly be my last chance to tell her how I really feel. Can I die without knowing I at least said a proper goodbye?

  It’s crazy. Nia and I have really only spent one night together, yet I’ve been pining after her for months. The memory of her touch burns all over my body. The taste of her passion still lingers on my lips. I want another bite. I need another bite.

  I’m starving for her, and I decide that I can’t go into another uncertain situation without at least seeing her again.

  I make a hard right and roar in her direction. I’m coming for you baby, whether you like it or not.

  22

  Nia

  “I’m just getting off work now, I’ll be home in about an hour.” Carlos sounds exhausted and I feel awful. Am I burdening him too much by staying at his place? His usual high-spirit has been at half-mast lately, but he assures me it’s just because he’s pissed about me getting fired, and ashamed that he can’t do anything about it.

  “Okay, see you in a bit, boo,” I blow him a kiss over the phone and sink into his living room couch. The second we hang up, I’m back on the internet searching for jobs again. I hate feeling so useless. Carlos has essentially forced me to be a leach, because he won’t take any of my money, whether it’s to help with rent or the groceries. I told him I had savings that I could pull from, but he even refused that. “You use your savings to become a nurse,” he told me, and that was that. I’d tried arguing with him, but it was futile. If I wasn’t so scared of going back to my apartment, I’d have left a long time ago and rid my best friend of my heavy presence, but I truly have nowhere else to go.

  Carlos is an angel I don’t deserve. A true godfather.

  I scroll helplessly through job postings that have either already been filled or are way out of my skill bracket. Because of all the restaurant closedowns around town, the places that are still able to stay open are having a massive influx of job applications from out-of-work servers. I was so lucky to have gotten a job at Mars, but now, my little streak of luck has completely run out. The only consistent openings are in the medical field, but they all require way more education than I have.

  Maybe if my mom hadn’t died, I might actually be a nurse by now...

  I try not to hop aboard my own little train of self-pity. I still have a friend, I tell myself, all is not lost yet.

  I keep looking for jobs, but the process is so tedious and degrading. People want so much experience for such little pay, and waitressing doesn’t seem like the kind of experience anyone wants outside of the already filled up service industry.

  I’m starting to get a headache from the hopelessness of it all when a knock at Carlos’s front door suddenly breaks me out of my slump.

  I check the clock on my phone. Carlos shouldn’t be home for another half-an-hour or so. Still, any distraction is a welcome one right now. Maybe I’ll even finally get to meet the cutie he keeps going on about...

  I jump off the couch and skip over to the door, ready to introduce myself to one of Carlos’s friends. Any friend of Carlos is a friend of mine, I practice saying, as I unlock the door handle and pull it open.

  I’m completely unprepared for who I see.

  No... It can’t be.

  Ronan.

  “... You... You’re alive,” I sputter out, without thinking.

  His towering figure looms over me, blocking out most of the light from the hallway. A tight, black t-shirt hugs his chiseled body, revealing tensed muscles and a heaving chest. It looks like he just ran up a flight of stairs to see me. Sweat glistens ever so slightly from his forehead, just below his wavy auburn hair, and just above his steely blue eyes. Those big, luscious lips of his are half-open. His short beard’s been replaced by even shorter stubble. He must have shaved for me.

  “Nia...” he whispers, deep and low, taking a step inside. I swear I can feel the earth shake—or is that just my heart?

  I take a step back. Utterly in shock. What the hell is he doing here? Where the fuck has he been!?

  I can feel my eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. I’d honestly expected Ronan to be dead. The connection we shared that night seemed too special to just abandoned, even for a dark and mysterious stranger like him.

  So, if he wasn’t dead, what’s his excuse...?

  An uncontrollable anger starts to boil up inside my belly. Ronan takes another step forward and his bulging biceps flex as he reaches towards me. I can see a desperate longing twinkle in his eyes, but I’m suddenly furious.

  I swat away his touch. “You have some nerve...” I hiss. The life in my belly suddenly becomes all too real. This is the man who put it there. This is the man who left us both.

  I start to shake with fire. “How do you goons keep finding me!?” I shout, clawing at the air between us. I don’t know what’s coming over me, but it’s overwhelming, even more so than what I felt after Semyon’s visit.

  Right now, I’m being filled with so many different and intense emotions. Hate, fear, relief... lust... and another L word I don’t even dare think. How could I? I barely even know this guy, right?

  “I’m not here to hurt you, Nia. I’m here to protect you.” Ronan’s low rumble threatens to put me at ease, but when he reaches for me again, I flinch away.

  “Protect me from what!?” I shout, barely even choosing my words. Sentences are flowing out of me like tears and smoke. “I’ve never needed protection until I met you. Where were you when those Russian assholes came to my apartment? You show up now!? When things are finally peaceful, and say you want to protect me!? I say go fuck yourself!”

  I turn my back to Ronan, but there’s nowhere to run. I can hardly process what’s happening. My immediate instinct to this man’s presence is a complete internal implosion. He has no idea what he’s put me through. I feel like a fool for getting so emotional over the return of a practical stranger, but the truth is, it feels kind of good to tell him off. I need to feel in control, even if only for a moment, even if I’m not really.

  Ronan doesn’t seem flustered. I’m almost sure he was expecting this. The first time he ever touched me, after all, was to keep me from stabbing him with a kitchen knife. I feel him step forward again. I don’t turn around, but part of me desperately wants him to wrap me in his arms and force me to accept his return. I’m feeling too wild for my own good right now, no matter how justified my reaction might be.

  “Nia, I can explain everything. I didn’t have a choice,” Ronan’s voice is steady, but I swear I can hear his tone shivering ever so slightly. If he was expecting my harsh reaction, he might not have been expecting to be so affected by it.

  I want to turn around and look at him again, but I don’t want to give in. The glass window to Carlos’s porch is the closest I’ll come to putting my eyes back on the man who left me so easily. His reflection is massive. The lighting of the room covers his face, but the look of his body is enough to make my knees buckle.

  Why do I have to be so attracted to someone so dangerous?

  “...I’m waiting,” I mumble, given him an actual chance to explain everything. I have a feeling he won’t.
>
  Sure enough.

  “I don’t have time right now,” Ronan sighs. His voice sounds so heavy, like the weight of the world rests on his every word. I’d almost feel bad for him, if I wasn’t busy feeling so sorry for myself. What’s he been through over the past three months to keep him away from me? I don’t hear a pimp’s lilt in his tone. He seems to be speaking in earnest. I want to believe he’s sincere, but how can I?

  I turn around and finally face my invader again. He’s gorgeous. Ruggedly handsome and as sharp as the arrow he shot through my heart.

  “I just want to say...” he trails off like he’s not quite strong enough to do anything but bash people’s heads in.

  I cross my arms—though, my raging fire is slowly turning into one of sympathy... and desire. “Say it...” I beg of him.

  Ronan takes a deep breath. His bright eyes are trained on the floor and his arms are limp at his side. The big lug is thinking. Good. Now’s not the time for excitement, now’s the time for precision and truth.

  I let him settle on his words.

  Finally, those raging blue eyes of his fall on me again. I quiver under his intense gaze. If I was a weaker woman, I might have already fallen to the floor and begged to have him crawl on top of me, but I’ve been through too much to give in now. He’s going to have to convince me to let him anywhere near me again.

  “I made no secret about who I was,” he starts. His voice is calm and steady, but even heavier now than ever before. “How could I? We met in a firefight; it wasn’t exactly subtle. Still, the heat from my bullet wound couldn’t match the warmth of your hand on my shoulder. You branded me like cattle; you healed me from something much more than a physical wound. I’ve been caught in my dark lifestyle for nearly as long as I can remember. I have power and influence. I’m respected and feared... but I’ve never been loved. Once, I thought I might have been, but it turned out that I was being used. It made me swear off all forms of intimacy—or, at least, all the forms you can’t buy. But when I saw you that night, everything went out of the window... and then I came flying in through it, and you didn’t run away. Instead, you ran towards me. You touched me, and in more ways than one. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since that first night. Everything I’ve done since then has been to get back to you. But, in my world, you aren’t ever given a straight, easy path. I’ve had to fight for my life just to get here now. It’s been a long and painful journey, but I knew that it’d be worth it if I could just see you again. I’m sorry for not saying goodbye before, I’m sorry for not telling you why, but it was all so that we could get here. Sure, I could be using these precious seconds we have right now to tell you the cold, hard details of what’s happened over the past three months, but they don’t matter now. All that matters is one truth: I want you, Nia. I... I love you.”

  My heart vibrates like a hummingbird, and a kaleidoscope of butterflies explodes from my stomach. I can’t control the shaking that’s slowly taking over my body. I can’t hold back the tears either. The pleading giant before me becomes blurry as I wipe the salt from my wounds.

  Love...

  Someone loves me?

  Ronan takes a step forward and I don’t budge. Slowly, his warm arms wrap around my quivering body. I melt into his embrace. The anger in me is draining. My eyes are damp from rainfall. I want to give into him so bad.

  “I thought you abandoned me,” I whisper into his broad chest. The heat of his heartbeat calms me.

  “I did,” Ronan sighs. “But it was only so that I could come back to you. I already know about the Russians. I’m so sorry—I’m going to make them pay.”

  His biceps flex around me. I can feel a new energy seeping through his body. An anger that isn’t directed towards me, but towards those who have truly wronged the both of us.

  “Why did they come after me?” I ask, looking up at Ronan’s shimmering eyes from the warmth of his chest.

  “Because they know you’re all I care about. And they wanted to smoke me out of hiding.”

  “... It worked,” I whisper. I want to feel afraid for the both of us, but I just can’t manage it while I’m in Ronan’s embrace.

  “So they’ll think... until it’s too late.” Ronan’s voice has become a growl. I study his eyes and see a primal flash explode behind his steely gaze.

  “What are you going to do?” I ask, curious, but also terrified of the answer.

  “I’m going to kill them all.”

  23

  Ronan

  “You’re leaving already?” The hurt in Nia’s voice breaks my heart, but I know we can’t have peace until I deal with the assholes who forced us apart in the first place.

  “When I come back, all of this will be over,” I try to assure her. My hand’s on the doorknob, but pulling it open is proving to be harder than I ever expected. Nia doesn’t want me to go, and I don’t want to leave either. But I have to. This has to end, one way or another.

  “... What if you don’t come back?” Nia looks as beautiful as ever. There’s a glow about her that just makes me want to spend the rest of my life staring.

  I sigh. “Well, then at least I got to say goodbye this time.”

  Nia sneers and shakes her head. “Not good enough.”

  “It’s all we have right now.”

  Nia grinds her teeth. The same fire that greeted me when I first entered the apartment threatens to erupt out of her again. I’d almost rather she was angry; it’d make it easier to go.

  “If you leave again, don’t bother coming back,” Nia suddenly spits. My heart lurches at her venom.

  “Nia...” I plead quietly. She has no one idea what’s out there. And sure, that’s my fault, but it’s also my responsibility. I need to bear this cross on my own—it’s the only way we can end up together in the long run. “I have to do this.”

  “You don’t have to do anything,” Nia immediately retorts.

  I’m getting fed up. My hand drops from the doorknob and I turn my attention fully to her. “I’m just trying to keep you alive,” I tell her.

  “Well, maybe I’m just trying to keep you alive, too.”

  I want to hug her, but I know that ship has sailed. The flame that surrounds her now isn’t one of passion or affection, but of anger.

  If I leave, she doesn’t expect me to come back—can I blame her?

  “We don’t have any other options,” I plead, my patience wearing thin. She doesn’t know how things work in the underworld.

  “Where have you been the past three months?” she asks. “Why don’t you go back? ... Why don’t we?” her voice is so small when she says ‘we’. I can tell she wants to come with me, wherever that is, but she also doesn’t have the confidence to say it so loudly. I’m the one who abandoned her, after all.

  “I was in another country, Nia. And even then, I wasn’t completely safe. Once this war dies down, whoever’s left is going to have some kind of beef with me, and they’ll finally have enough time and resources to hunt me down, wherever I am. No one ever forgets in the underworld. My only option is to put them in the ground before they put me there first.”

  Nia looks defeated. The flame around her is flickering. I need her to understand what’s at stake.

  “... I’m pregnant,” she suddenly whispers.

  Her voice is soft and quiet, but her words ignite a bomb inside of me that threatens to blow me off my feet. My eyelids suddenly feel as heavy as anvils. Did I just hear her right?

  I know I did.

  Still, words escape me. My canines slowly grind back and forth as I try to process the sledgehammer that she’s just smacked me over the head with.

  Pregnant...

  “Is... is it mine?” I stumble over myself, already knowing the answer, but needing to make sure. Finn’s told me the guy who’s apartment we’re in isn’t someone I need to worry about—I almost hope he’s wrong.

  Nia nods ever so slightly.

  ... I’m going to be a father?

  The thought cuts
through my heart.

  “We’re pregnant...” the words just fall out of me.

  “I’ve been pregnant for the past three months,” Nia snaps. “And I’ve been alone. I still don’t know where you were. But yes. To answer your question: yes. This is our baby.”

  My eyes fall to her stomach. Nia’s wearing a grey sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. I can’t see a baby bump yet. Is that normal? I have no idea.

  “I... I didn’t know.” It’s all I can manage to say.

  “Obviously,” Nia shakes her head. “You didn’t exactly stick around to find out.”

  A sudden pang of fear infiltrates my body. Holy shit, I was just about to rush into a war that I had no guarantee of coming back from. In fact, I’d say the odds were stacked against me. If Nia hadn’t just told me, I might have died without ever knowing that I was going to be a father...

  I could have a family. My own family.

  I swallow and try to process it all. “Nia, I’m so sorry.”

  She shows me her palm. “Don’t be sorry. Be here.”

  I try to look her in the eyes, but my gaze keeps wandering back to her belly.

  “I still haven’t forgiven you yet,” she says. “But if you want to be a father, I’m giving you the option. If you head out of that door right now, though, you make your choice. You might not die in whatever battle you’re diving into, but you’ll be dead to me, and to...” Nia looks down to her belly and a swell of emotion cracks in her voice.

  I don’t know what to do. For maybe the first time in my life, I truly have no idea.

  “Where will we go?” I ask her. “What will we do?”

  Nia places a hand on her stomach. Her sweatshirt tightens around her body and I can make out the curves that I’ve missed oh-so dearly. “We’ll do whatever it takes,” she says.

  I suddenly feel like an imposter in a tough man’s body. Nia’s the stronger one here. This isn’t a problem I can solve with violence.