by Kahlen Aymes
“Go ahead.” I sat down; just holding the guitar, then ran my fingers over the strings. It made me feel close to Cade when I played it.
"Cade told me he's working with you a little bit." His eyes looked at me knowingly. And my eyebrows went up. Was Cade talking about me with my brother?
"Yeah, but I don't get a chance to practice that much," I murmured as I watched Cade say something to the reporter and Davina burst out laughing.
Okay, I'm out. Fake bitch.
I started to get up, feeling uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. Somehow, the interaction between Cade and I was something just between us. It felt personal and I didn't want to share, even with Nathan. I reached over, grabbed the remote and switched off the television.
“That was last night, right?” He nodded toward the TV. He meant the outing with Davina.
“Yes. Gag me. If I see anymore of her fawning all over him, clawing at him with those devil nails and saying how beautiful he is in every interview, I’m going to barf. She’s annoyingly obvious.”
“Have you met her? She looks awful. I mean she’s hot and all, but…”
I strummed through a few chord changes on the guitar to interrupt him. “Only once. Can we drop it? I don’t want to think about it.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Nate finished his food and after he left, I was alone with my thoughts, remembering how I’d felt on set with Cade. I sighed. How could I expect another woman to be immune to him? I set the guitar on the table and lay down on the couch, letting my mind wander to another time jealousy had eaten me alive. Back when we were filming The Future of Our Past; I didn’t have a right to be jealous because I was still seeing David. I closed my eyes and let the scene replay in my mind.
We’d been at a party, and Cade had been playing music with Dawson and Daniel, and Wendy had been stuck to him all night while I observed and mingled with the others. It was a day when I had been shooting without him and we hadn’t talked. I was anxious to get some time with him. He’d glanced in my direction a few times, his expression always apologetic because Wendy’s constant clinging didn’t give us any time to talk. Finally, he came over anyway.
"Hey, Brook," he said softly. His blue eyes sucked me in as always, pulling me straight into his soul. Not that he ever tried to hide anything from me. He didn't. He was so open and giving. I felt like I'd known him forever. I'd told myself that it was because he was so damn beautiful that I felt like a rag doll around him, but in truth, it was him. How he was inside. How we were together and how he always made me feel. He made me feel happy, smart and beautiful. He made me laugh.
"Yeah! Hey, Brook," Wendy chimed in, leaning into Cade as she did so. I tried to paste a happy smile onto my face, but it felt frozen and my cheeks quivered under the effort. Her voice grated on me like knives.
"Hi," I answered her but my gaze shifted back to Cade as I leaned on the front of the bar. "You were really good tonight." I couldn't help the way my voice got softer and felt a rush of pleasure at the crooked grin that split his face.
"You think so? That means a lot to me." His eyes were boring into mine and it was like everyone else disappeared. I felt myself falling and I put out a hand to steady myself.
"Hey, Cade, I told you how excellent you were. I think you're amazing." Wendy, obviously tipsy, fell into him and he put up his hands to steady her and push her away from him a little.
"Thank you, Wendy. Do you need to sit down?" he chuckled.
I put an arm through hers, and together we turned her around and took her to the couch to set her on it. She flopped down and reached for Cade's hand, looking up at him expectantly. He moved back a little. "We'll get you some water, okay? Just a moment."
Cade nodded his head away to communicate with me that he wanted to speak with me alone so I followed him across the room. My heart thumped in my chest even though we'd spent countless hours together. He still affected me in ways no one else ever had. Not even David. A new rush of guilt had rushed over me and I felt the skin on my face flush.
When we moved toward the balcony doors out of earshot of everyone else, he reached out and ran a hand down my arm. "Are you okay? We haven't talked much tonight and I... well, I found myself missing your words." He smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair as I looked up at him. His bronze hair was messed up in the perfect Cade way and he had two days’ worth of stubble on his face. Those intense blue eyes that I swear could look right through me... So beautiful.
Oh my fucking God. Was it seriously possible for anyone to be that fucking beautiful? I’d wondered.
I looked down at the ground because I was afraid of what would show in my eyes. "Yeah, me, too. What did you do today?" His hand had moved down my arm to my hand and I longed to close my fingers around his. They were warm and full of electricity. I shook my head slightly to get my focus back.
"Hung out with the guys." He shrugged. "Basically did nothing the whole day, except work out and lay around. Bloody boring." His finger touched my chin to get me to look up. "Honestly, I found myself wondering what you were up to and when you'd be finished. I missed seeing you."
A swell of elation came up inside me, and I smiled in spite of myself. "Yeah." If only I could tell him that I missed him too, that I thought about him constantly and I couldn't wait for the fucking shoot to end so I could get back to the hotel and call him. "It was a long day. I was actually going to leave soon. I have to go over our scenes for tomorrow."
His brow crinkled and he raised an eyebrow at me. "That isn't like you. To go over our scenes without me, I mean.”
I nodded. "I know.” I glanced at Wendy, across the room on the sofa. “Because, Carlisle, the scenes with you need lots of work," I teased and shoved him with my shoulder.
He smiled. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Ten films and I’m still ridiculous."
"Shut up! You know I'm kidding. But you’re obviously otherwise engaged, tonight."
"I like the practicing, actually," he murmured softly, and my heart fell to my stomach as he ignored my reference to Wendy.
I liked practicing, too. I’d been so scared at how much I obsessed about the time I spent alone with him.
With Cade beside me, it had been the first time that night I was feeling like I didn't want to throw-up. Talking with him had a calming effect and every day I looked forward to the evenings when we would get together and hang out.
He glanced down at me again right before Wendy bounded up and launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him down, almost off balance. His right arm moved around her to keep her from falling to the floor.
"You forgot about me over there!" she pouted.
"Easy Wendy," he said, his eyes still on my face. "You need to stop drinking now, okay?"
"No, I don't. Things are just getting fun. Right, Brook?" Wendy quipped with a laugh, holding Cade even tighter. I balked and turned away.
"Um, actually I was just leaving. I'm... really tired. I barely get a day off."
"Well, that's why you make the big bucks. Can we shop tomorrow afternoon?" She’d asked as Cade set her back on her feet. I felt the hair at the back of my neck rise in protest.
"Uh, if I get done, sure. I'll call you." I tried to smile and hedged toward the door of the suite, knowing there was no way I wanted to hang out with her and listen to her babble on and on about herself and Cade. "See everyone later," I called out so the others would hear and waved before walking out the door. I felt an unfamiliar ache in my chest as I walked to my room and my eyes welled with tears. Leaving Cade in Wendy's clutches was not what I wanted to do, but I didn't have any right to do anything else. I was committed to David and Cade was free to do as he pleased.
I’d gone back to my hotel, pulled out my journal and wrote about Cade for two hours, interrupted by a call from David, which made me feel like hell, because I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I loved him, when he said it to me. During the call, I’d been flipping through the pages that started out
as director’s notes but had turned into my journal and eventually into my thoughts and secret letters to Cade. The one I’d given him for Christmas.
After I’d hung up the phone, I’d touched the pages of the book, reading again some of the feelings I'd so carefully placed on the pages, and then grabbing a pen, I wrote the word one more time...
Cade.
Wendy was a pussycat compared to Davina Duchman. The thought of Cade getting close to anyone else had always hurt, but I could tell Davina was devious and she had plans to further her career by latching on to my guy. Who in the hell had a name like that anyway? I sighed and rolled over, throwing my arm over my eyes, chastising myself for my hatred of a woman I didn’t even know. I’d promised Cade I wouldn’t wallow. It's just a movie, just another part... she's just another actor. No big deal. Right?
Suddenly, it occurred to me. I needed another journal. Writing down my feelings helped to channel the longing and sadness before, it could again. Tomorrow, I’d get a new one.
BLOODY HELL! The night went on forever. Davina clinging to me, like some sort of human parasite, drove me mad. Especially without Brook there. I mean, normally, I'd be flattered by the attention, but knowing this rubbish would be all over the media and Brook would see it, it was the last thing I wanted.
"Cade, Earth to Cade..." Davina invaded my thoughts again.
"Oh, sorry, Davina." I looked at her face. She was very beautiful, but shallow and lacking warmth. She held an expression of agitation. I was sure she wasn't used to anything less than complete and total attention from the men lucky enough to be in her presence. However my thoughts were on Brook. I tried to mind my manners and concentrate on what she was saying.
"Did you hear anything I said? I was asking you if you wanted to ride to the set together tomorrow? I looked at the call sheet and it appears you and I have to be there early due to those damn wires. So what do you say?"
"Oh. Yeah, sure." I took a pull from the beer in my hand and motioned back toward the table where a good number of the cast and crew were sitting. "Want to go back with the others?"
"Not really," she purred and ran her hand along my arm. "I'd like to get to know you better. You spend all of your time locked up in your room."
I drew in a deep breath and tried to figure out how I was going to turn this conversation to Brook. I had to drop the seed to get this bitch off of me. I was sick of peeling her off me every time I turned around.
"Um, mostly, I spend a good amount of time working on the script for my next film. With Brooklyn Halloway,” I said bluntly, meeting her eyes without flinching.
Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she leaned toward me and licked her lips. "Oh, she’s just a girl, and that Remembrance thing was her first big break, right? She’s so young. I bet her attention span is like that of a gnat."
I almost laughed out loud, choking on my beer. Brook had the attention span of a gnat? “Um, she’s actually very mature for her age. She’s over the age of consent, by the way,” I said shortly.
“How fortunate for you,” Davina shot back nastily.
“Yes, isn’t it?” I smiled, more slyly than I wanted, but goddamn it! Enough was enough.
“Well, keep in mind this film is the priority. You wouldn’t want a leak of some fling with Brook. It could turn into something damaging. Besides, she’s dating some kid in L.A. David, something or other, isn’t it? She’s been with him practically her whole life. So cute.”
Inside I wanted to yell and scream at Davina, but the studio had constructed such an elaborate ruse, of course, she bought into it with the rest of the world.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and turned, preferring to look behind the bar since suddenly it was much more interesting than what she was saying. It wasn't like Brook hadn't told me about how she met David, but for some reason when she told it, it didn't sound like some sickly sweet romance. It was more like; Yeah, we hang; he's cool.
Davina’s comments were like a resounding reminder that David was in L.A. with Brook when I couldn’t be. Not that she’d see him, but it still didn’t’ sit well.
She never made it sound like she’d ever been madly in love with him, but maybe she was sparing my feelings. Maybe I was still sensitive that David had what I loved, what I coveted, for almost a year before Brook and I got together that made me hate the poor bastard. It wasn't even his fault.
Bloody hell. I guess I asked for this.
"Hmmm...” I answered, because I didn't know what else to say, and I didn’t want to let her instigate a comment that I’d regret.
Brook never lied to me about her relationship with David so I knew going in, but it didn't stop me from falling in love with her, and it worked out well in the end.
“Want to leave?” Davina said suggestively. “Afraid of a real woman?”
I huffed in agitation as she leaned in and tried to wrap her hand around my forearm. I pulled it back before she could.
"Oh, come on. Loosen up, Cade. We don’t have to go back to the hotel. We can find a club with open mic night and you can play. I'd love to see you play in public. You really are amazing, you know," she said in a sultry tone, but it left me unmoved. The talk about Brook and David was making me uncomfortable and I longed to be on a plane to L.A.
"Uh, thanks. I really thought that music would be my career," I said, offhandedly and glanced at my watch. It was two in the morning. "You know, I think it's getting late and we do have those bloody scenes to do tomorrow."
Davina reached out a finger and ran it down my chest over my T-Shirt. "Get rid of the others... I don't have to go just yet. Let’s practice."
I smiled at her and ran a hand through my hair. "That's um…” I laughed uncomfortably. “You’ve had a little bit too much to drink, and you wouldn't want to do anything you'd regret in the morning." Or, that I'll regret for the rest of my fucking life.
Davina took out her phone and started typing. I felt a sudden rush of panic wash over me.
"Who are you texting?" She raised her eyebrows as she finished sending and then raised her eyes to mine.
"My manager. I’m going to see if we can get some time off. God knows, I love the time on set, but let’s face it, you and I don’t know each other that well and I think we need a little alone time, don’t you?" Her well-manicured eyebrow shot up and reminded me of one of those over-exaggerated lightning bolts animators use in cartoons. “I mean, I saw that Remembrance thing you did with Brook Halloway and if you can get that hot and steamy with a young little thing like that, imagine what you can do with a real woman.” She smiled slyly.
I stiffened and my heart sank to my stomach. I wanted to scream at her that I got it. Did she have to bring Brook into it?
“I’m not dumb, honey. I know you and she had a thing. It’s obvious by how you’re jumping out of your skin right now, but get over it. A man in your position can’t be ruled by silly romantic fantasies.”
Suddenly, I wanted to get out of there; frantic in my need to text Brook and make sure she knew the truth of this situation.
Davina's phone buzzed and she read the message and then turned the screen so I could read it.
Sure, I can talk to them. I’ll let you know.
The thing that didn’t occur to her was that I didn’t want to spend time alone with her. All I could think about was the trip to L.A. "Look, Davina, that won’t work for me, " I began, but she interrupted me.
"Stop. We'll go out and have a great time. No big deal. We're friends. We can all be friends," she said suggestively. “I’m not opposed to sharing, though frankly, I don’t see the appeal.”
I shrugged and downed the rest of my beer. "It's getting late. I need to get to bed."
"Look, Cade. I can understand that you've been spending all this time with Brook and being around me might make her uncomfortable... but she was only hanging out with you for the role. It's her job. I can tell you that everything I hear around Hollywood is that Brook's heart is with David, so I’d hate to see you get all wrap
ped up in her for nothing. And, as I said, your world has little place for romantic dreams even if you have her temporarily swooning over you. You have a job to do, too; with me. Let’s make it believable, shall we?"
She looked sincere as she said the words; words I didn't want to hear. She reached out to touch my arm and it was all I could do not to pull away. Her revelation wasn't anything I hadn't told myself a hundred times during the first film, but the days of uncertainty were behind me. I leaned my head on my other arm as I looked at her, steadily.
"Thank you, Davina. I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, I know all of this, and I'm not wrapped up in anything," I lied through my teeth for the contract and because I hadn’t discussed “coming out” with Brook. The last thing I wanted was for Brook to think I was insecure ab0ut her now fake relationship with David or that I didn’t trust her.
I pushed roughly away from the bar as Davina watched, then walked over to the guys. I fell into a plush chair next to Daniel and he just looked at me in consternation. It was obvious he could read my mind.
"What's with that sappy face, dude? Did you strike out with Davina?" He teased, with a laugh.
"Pfft. Who was trying?" I answered shortly, more perturbed than I wanted to admit. He was one of the few who knew the truth about Brook and me. "I'm just tired. Can we call it a night? We all have that stupid shit tomorrow."
Daniel looked at me knowingly and leaned back on the couch. "Sure, Cade. Heard from Brook tonight?” I shook my head in quick answer. “How come?"
"How the fuck should I know? It's not my day to babysit. Why does everyone always think I know everything about her all the bloody time?"
"Whoa. Because... you do, Cade. I mean, I've never heard you talk about Brook like that before, mate. You worship that girl, so what the hell? What gives?" He nudged my arm with his elbow.
"Nothing! Nothing gives. Just...” I sat up and motioned for my bodyguards to come closer. “Can you guys get Davina out of here?" I put a hand over my eyes and pinched the flesh at the bridge of my nose. "I don't want any hassles right now. Romantic or otherwise."