by Kahlen Aymes
"Hi, honey. What's up? Are you okay?" Denise always sounded upbeat but her voice held a slight strain, and I was sure that was caused by the numerous calls I'd been inundating her with. It was due to the stalking incident, the issues she was trying to work out with security, and also my incessant pestering for time off.
"Yes. I'm just checking in. I'm getting ready to face the mobs again," I sighed into the phone and leaned my head on the window.
"I know! It's bullshit, Cade. I'm working on it. I told Pinnacle we needed to get the streets blocked off further back from the set and add two more guys to travel with you, at the very least; but they’re pandering."
"Jesus, Denise. I shouldn't have to have an entourage of security! This film isn't even that big for Christ's sake," I said in frustration.
"I'm doing what I can, Cade. Your safety is my first concern. I'm sorry if it cramps your style." She sounded irritated.
"I don't mean that I'm ungrateful. I just think it’s bloody ridiculous. And...”
"And?" she asked impatiently.
"I'm anxious for a trip out to Los Angeles," I said softly.
"Cade, it hasn't even been two weeks. You have to deal with it for a while longer. How are things with Davina?"
"Horrible. Do we have to go there?" I begged.
"She seems like a nice young woman and from what I've seen a pretty decent actress."
"She's... boring. I have nothing in common with her. Talking with her is like pulling teeth. It's bloody uncomfortable. It’s all I can do not to bolt in the opposite direction, between takes."
"You’re being melodramatic,” Denise warned. “Are you sure you just aren't coming up with reasons to keep a distance between the two of you?"
I groaned into the phone because she was probably right.
"Maybe a little, but I can't help it."
"Look, you know she isn't going to be Brook. Get over it, babe,” Denise said flippantly. “You have to deal and get your head in the game."
I rolled my eyes even though Denise couldn't see me do it. "No, she's definitely not Brook. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more receptive to getting to know her if you'll get me out to L.A. I’ve never been this miserable on a job."
She laughed. "What you are is pathetic, Cade. We can't have the press documenting your trips to Los Angeles after we just broke that ultimatum story. You know that."
"So charter a plane. I don't care what it costs."
"Money isn't the problem. Schedules, remember?"
"Yeah, I understand. I have to go to work, Denise, just do the best you can."
"I will, hon. Have a good day, and Cade?"
"Yeah?" I stopped.
"Can you pretend it’s Brook with you in those love scenes? That might make it easier for you."
"Yeah, right. That would only be possible if I could shut down all five of my bloody senses. All five."
"Like I said... fucking pathetic," she laughed.
"You don't know the half of it. Later."
A MASS OF PAPARAZZI waited as I pulled up at my new apartment at the end of the day's shooting. It was Thursday and I was hoping to spend a quiet night at home. With any luck, Cade would have some time to talk tonight. Missing him was even worse than I’d imagined. I took a deep breath and opened my door, stealing myself for their harsh words and thousands of flashes. They were more frantic than usual, and I heard one theme over and over again... screaming in my head, my heart ready to explode and my lungs gasping for breath.
"Brook... how's Cade? Have you heard? There was an accident on set!"
Oh, my god! My heart fell.
My feet flew up the stairs to my apartment and my hand took out my phone to call Cade. I slammed the door shut behind me and I felt my knees give way beneath me as I fell to the floor, but managing to hold the phone to my ear. It rang and went to voicemail.
My hands were trembling so much I could barely push the numbers as I dialed Denise. Once again, it went straight to voicemail. Frantically, I tried Cade's number again, and again; voicemail. I rolled onto my side and sobbed into my hands.
Oh God. Please let him be okay. Please let him answer! Tears were streaming down my face and my chest constricted. My phone rang and it was my mother.
"Mom! I heard Cade was hurt, and I can't reach him! Oh my God. I need to go to New York," I cried into the phone. “Right now!”
"Baby, calm down. We'll find out what's going on, but you can't go running off without knowing what's going on."
"Mom! He isn't answering his phone and I can't reach Denise either! I can't just sit here, not knowing! I have to go!!"
"Brook, calm down. I'll call around and see what I can find out. You call Jeanne and have her call the studio and try to get some answers. I'll call you back, honey. I'm sure he's fine."
I was gasping for breath as I tried to form the words. "Mom... Oh God. I'm scared. What if...”
"We don't know what happened or if it's even true right now, Brook. You aren't doing Cade any good by freaking out. Just breathe and we'll get to the bottom of it."
I dialed Jeanne the minute I hung up with my mother.
When she answered, I was frantic. "Jeanne! " "I just heard Cade got hurt on set, and I'm going out of my mind." I wiped at the tears rolling down my face, and my voice broke.
"Holy shit, Brook! Have you tried to call him?"
"Yeah. All I get is voicemail. Denise, too. I need to go to New York, Jeanne. Can you help me? Please?"
"Brook, I'll see what I can find out. Let's wait on the trip to New York, for now. This may be nothing. It might even be a seed to see if they can get a reaction out of you. Nothing will confirm your relationship more if you go running off to New York at the mention of a rumor."
"I need to be with him. Even if he's okay, I need to fucking see for myself, Jeanne!" I knew I was losing it, becoming hysterical, but there was nothing I could do about the anxiety and fear I was feeling.
She hung up and I did the only thing I could do. My eyes were blurred with the force of the pain, but I took a bag down from my closet shelf and started shoving clothes into it as fast as I could. My phone vibrated on my bed and I grabbed it, hoping it was Cade, but it wasn't, but at least it was Denise.
"Is Cade okay?" I cried into the phone. "Just tell me he's okay," I rasped out.
"Brook, he's okay. He's bruised and sore, but he's fine, honey." Relief flooded over me and once again my legs gave out beneath me as I dropped my head and sobbed.
"Oh sweetheart, he's okay...” she said softly. "I'm sorry, Brook."
I was gasping for breath. "W-what happened?"
"It was fans, Brook. A dozen or so broke through the barricades and stormed him on set. He took off running and tripped over something."
"Oh, Jesus," I cried and anger rose inside me like a sickness. "Something has to be done about those freaks, Denise! Where were his bodyguards and why can't I reach him?"
"They were with him, but he was on set. They don’t surround him during filming, obviously. Cade broke into a run to get away from them and tripped. When he fell, his phone went flying into a brick wall and was shattered. I'm getting him another one and I'm on my way to him now. When I get there, I'll have him call you on my phone, okay?"
I took a deep breath. "Yeah. I need to see him, Denise. I'm trying to get out there." I got up and started packing again.
"No, Brook. Cade already told them he's not working this weekend. You have some scheduled filming, so I'll get him out to you. He wants to come to L.A., okay? He has some scenes in the morning, but then I'll put him on a plane."
I sat down on the bed and held a hand out in front of me. I was shaking so bad that it amazed me that I didn't drop the fucking phone. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Okay. How long until you get to him?"
"Maybe ten minutes. They have a medical team checking him out at the hotel, but they told me he's fine. I'm going right over there. I'll have him call you as soon as I get there. Try to calm down, Brook."
I
sat on the bed and tried to get control of my emotions, the fear still ripping through my body. I felt helpless being so far away and not able to see for myself that he wasn’t hurt. I sat here, trapped; powerless to offer him comfort, unable to put my arms around him and whisper that I loved him.
I was still shaking as I went to my laptop and turned it on; longing, yet terrified to see what I could find about it online. All I could find of what happened, that he was basically attacked on set and his bodyguards weren't able to keep the crazy bitches at bay as they chased him through the streets. I went to the refrigerator and poured a glass of Perrier and took a big drink of it as I paced back and forth for what seemed like hours; I knew it was only a few minutes when my phone finally rang.
"Cade?"
I quickly answered and strained to hear his voice above the thundering of blood in my ears.
‘Yeah, it's me, love."
I felt my fragile hold on my emotions begin to slip. "Oh thank God." My voice cracked and I sank down on the couch. "Are you hurt? Those crazy bitches! I swear to God...”
"Hush. I'm okay, Brook."
I started crying, a mixture of relief, fear and frustration washed over me like a wave. I felt weak, defenseless and sad. "No! This shit shouldn’t happen! I was so worried and then when I couldn't reach you… Oh, God...” I started to sob in earnest again, shaking as I sat alone in my apartment. "What would I have done if something happened to you?"
"Brook. Nothing's gonna happen. I'm okay. I have bruises and the right side of my body is sore, but nothing's broken. I won't even miss any work." Cade tried to lighten the subject and he even laughed, but I couldn't stop crying. "Baby. Stop."
The tears continued to roll as I listened to that beautiful voice. He was safe, but I was still losing it, the magnitude of what could have happened looming in my mind. The madness of everything that we dealt with came crashing down around me, threatening to crush the air from my lungs until I was gasping for breath.
"Brook, honey, it's okay. Please, babe."
"I need to see you, to touch you... to make sure you're okay," I whispered.
"Okay, we can do that. I'm dying to see you, too. It's been eighteen fucking days and I miss your beautiful face. I miss how you smell and how you feel against me. I have to film in the morning, but I'm chartering a plane. I'll be with you by dinnertime, okay?"
"Okay," I sniffed. "I'm sorry I'm such a whiny baby."
"I like it when you're a baby. You're my baby. I love you so much."
"I can't wait for this to be over, Cade. I only found out because one of the photographers stalking me asked me if I knew you'd been hurt. I almost lost it right in front of them... I could barely make it into my apartment before I broke down. It would have blown our cover straight to hell."
He groaned on the other end of the line. "To hell with it anyway. Our cover, if you can call it that, was blown the morning I left The Beverly Hills Hotel, and I don't bloody care. I'm sorry you had to go through that, my love. It makes me so bloody furious. Those parasites!" he breathed. "The fans are bad enough, but the press constantly in your face... I want to fucking kill something."
"They're pretty bad, I guess." My eyes were swollen and my throat still ached. "Do you have ice on your hip, Cade? Does it hurt bad?"
"It hurts, Brook, but I'm fine. And I get to see my girl tomorrow, so things are starting to turn around."
I laughed softly into the phone and walked into my bedroom to curl up on my bed.
"That's the sound I want to hear," his voice full of laughter. "Denise will probably want to leave and will be taking her phone, so I may need to go. She's getting me a new one before I leave for L.A. tomorrow, so I'll call you from the airport, alright? Thanks for the beautiful song today, Brook. I loved it."
"I've loved every one you've sent, too. I love you."
He sighed and his voice throbbed when he answered me. "Oh, I miss you, babe. Tomorrow night you’ll see how much."
"Mmmm... that sounds nice. I'm so glad you're okay. Thank you for calling."
"You don't have to thank me. I'm counting the minutes until you're in my arms. Goodnight."
OKAY. I'D HAD ENOUGH. I couldn't watch Davina fawning over Cade anymore tonight. There was some big awards event in New York he had to attend. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t care. He hadn't really mentioned it, but it was obvious. Every picture I’d seen of Cade included her; the way she was always following him around, sitting next to him and hanging on every fucking word he said in interviews. It was all over the TV, social media, and rag mags. It made my damn head hurt.
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair in agitation. Only Us had been filming for a month and I'd been spending almost every free minute following him in the press, which had to be the reason this was eating the hell out of my insides. What else could it be?
Snap out of It, Brook. You know he loves you. It’s all for show.
I mean, we spent countless hours trying to get into our character’s head, so it was only natural that he’d have to do that with her, too. My heart fell. He and I had completely immersed in our roles. We even joked about it, but I had to examine what the hell was really going on. Was I being sucked in by the role or by a pair of fantastic blue eyes?
As I watched the news clips of the two of them, I wanted to pull my hair out; it felt like my fucking skin was falling off. Shit, I felt like running out the damn door.
My eyes narrowed as I took in the scene. He looked casually hot, as always. He was wearing a black suit, but carrying the jacket, he’d removed the tie and the sleeves of his white button-down were rolled up. Davina’s red-nailed hand wrapped around his bicep caused a throb somewhere that I didn't want to think about. The fact that he didn't even know how amazing he was was the hottest thing about him; talented, gorgeous, interesting and so incredibly smart. There ought to be a damn law against someone having all that going on. It wasn't fair and none of us had any sort of defense against him. I couldn't blame Davina for being sucked in by all that he was, but it made me sick to my stomach.
In watching him with Davina, I noticed Cade's demeanor was polite and attentive. I mean he didn't exactly drool all over her, but he didn't snub her either. I didn't expect him to, but it hurt to watch. Davina was a beautiful woman and Cade was seriously hot. It was only natural she’d be attracted to him and the press pushed them together. It was all part of the job.
Job, job, job, my head hammered at me. I knew I had to suck it up and trust him. I'd been trying since the first story broke, but the truth was, all I wanted was to scratch her eyes out. She was lapping up the publicity with fervor.
Suddenly my throat felt dry and I reached for the can of soda. I’d spent more time than I would admit researching her and she had more men than I had birthdays, and a reputation for hooking up with actors, directors, and producers. I huffed. Anyone that could further her career, obviously. Anger rushed through me like fire. I didn’t want her using him to further her own pathetic career.
I stopped myself and tried to step back and look at the situation objectively. How was I feeling? Was it protectiveness toward Cade or jealousy toward Davina? Either way, it didn't sit well. I hated anything that I didn't have control over. I was the queen of control and made it a point never to let anything own me. Ever.
Nathan had come over with Chinese food and was unpacking it in the small kitchen of my apartment, while I was glued to E!News. Thank God the segments were short, but I was sick of the media blowing it out of proportion.
I absentmindedly picked at the material of my jeans as I sat with my eyes glued to the screen, my hands were shaking. How in the hell was I going to get through two more months of this?
Okay, I was seriously screwed.
I pulled my knees up and leaned on them, barely noticing Nathan entering the room, setting a box with a fork sticking out of it on the coffee table in front of me and then taking a seat next to me on the couch. He forked a mouthful of his food and then stopped. “You o
kay, sis?”
"I'm okay," I said and smiled as brightly as I could manage. He shook his head and dug his fork in for more food.
"Rough day?" Nate asked, glancing at the screen.
I shrugged. "Um, not too bad. Just long. Thanks for coming over. I wouldn’t have eaten anything, and just lazed around like a slug all night.”
He laughed lightly. "No problem. It was my excuse to bail on shopping for new furniture with mom. She’s trying to set me up with what’s her name’s daughter."
"Hmmm," I muttered under my breath. "I always hated shopping. I'd rather work if those were my choices, but—" I stopped and shoved his arm, grinning. “You could stand to get laid.”
Nathan huffed out a disgusted laugh. "Whatever. Speaking of that; why aren't you in New York with Cade at that thing?" Nathan asked, in a gentle tone. Obviously, he could sense my tenseness.
I shrugged, not willing to tell him the real reason; that the studio wouldn’t let me. "I don't know. Not in the mood, I guess."
"Yeah, that isn't like you. I thought you and Cade were the king and queen of secret meetings," he said and took a drink from his glass.
"Yeah. I guess. But I’ve got a busy week and so does he. I have to shoot tomorrow. There just wasn’t enough time to make it work.” My eyes fell on the screen as he stopped to talk to a reporter. My jaw jutted out involuntarily and I shifted uncomfortably as Davina showed up beside him to the delight of the interviewer. “Besides, the studio would have a shit fit if I showed up and ruined their little Cade and Davina lie.”
Nathan followed the direction of my eye line and then glanced back at my face. Something like recognition flashed across his features. "Yeah, I understand."
I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the perspiration accumulating a light sheen. It wasn't hot in my apartment but I felt like my skin was on fire, and I hoped it wasn't flushing red. I got up and went to the corner of the room where the guitar Cade had given me for my birthday was leaning up against the wall. I picked it up, and returned to the couch.
“Aren’t you gonna finish your food?” Nathan asked, looking hopefully at the carton I’d left on the table.