by Kahlen Aymes
"I'm sorry, Cade. God, I'm so sorry," I cried; the tears raining down my cheeks. Love, happiness, sadness, desperation, passion and longing all flooded through my entire being at once. I couldn't breathe but I wasn't sure if the gasping was originating with Cade or me. He was as overwhelmed as I was as he carried me into the room and to the bed.
"Baby, Jesus Christ. I missed you." We fell onto the mattress and frantically ripped at each other's clothes, anxious to feel skin on skin. "I love you," he groaned against my breast as he lifted my T-Shirt up and over my head. I was sobbing into his shoulder unable to stop the shaking that wracked my body. He rose up slightly and looked down into my face as he pushed my hair to the side while my fingers still frantically tugged at his shirt and the buttons of his jeans.
"Shhh, Brook. Don't cry, my love." His blue eyes burned me alive as he suddenly slowed down, his movements deliberate and purposeful while he touched my face with the back of his hand and then slid it down my neck and to cup my right breast. Pausing to capture its weight in his hand, he brushed his thumb lightly, ghosting over my nipple. I felt it harden underneath his touch and I watched his eyes close as he felt it.
"Bloody hell. I can't take being away from you anymore," he whispered as he bent his head toward mine and resumed the delicious kisses. He started out slow and nibbling but within seconds we were back to devouring, so hungry and thirsty all at the same time. My hands resumed their task of tearing at his clothes while I sucked his tongue into my mouth. He groaned and pressed his erection into my hands as I opened his pants.
"Oh, Cade. Uhnnn, I want you... I've missed you so fucking much. I don't want to wait, I can't wait. Please," I begged as my hands closed around his length. He grunted and struggled to help me push down his jeans, the urgency to be closer afflicting Cade as much as it did me. We were both starving for each other, the more than two-month separation driving us on frantically.
He peeled my remaining clothes off of me, his hands deft and swift, all the while his mouth hovering over mine, and giving in to kissing me when I tugged his head down. I fisted my hands in his hair and pulled on the roots slightly. He groaned and spread my legs with his, rubbing up and down my wetness.
"God... it's been so long. I can't stand it," he almost growled. "Dear God, I want you, love... I've missed you so much. Too much, Brook." My heart ached at his words because I knew exactly what he meant. The love we had for each other was so overpowering it somehow overshadowed everything else in our lives. Nothing would ever mean more than being with Cade. We both knew it. Finally being with him had all of the doubt and disillusion that built up over the past weeks disappearing into thin air.
He was right. Everything would be fine as long as we were together.
Cade lowered himself to the bed so that his elbows rested under my arms, his hands holding my head as he sank into my body. I arched my back and rocked my hips into his, aching as he filled me to the hilt.
"Ohhhh...” I said softly against his mouth just before his tongue teased my lips apart. I pulled him into me, inexorably deeper, relentlessly wanting more and more of him, encasing him again and again as he moved inside me and against me. His movements were long and strong like he was savoring every inch of our bodies together. Our kisses were like wine, so sweet and hot, sucking and licking, taking and giving. I was losing myself and I only wanted to drown even deeper. I clenched my muscles around him wanting him, needing him to feel me and to give him the same pleasure he was giving me.
"Jesus, babe. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. You feel so bloody good. You have me on fire, mmm," he moaned against my neck, his open mouth dragging across my skin. He excited me like no other and the throbbing started and I couldn't stop it.
"Let’s burn then. I want you to come inside me," I gasped and scratched my nails down his back and grabbed his muscled ass.
"Brook... God," Cade groaned and kissed me again, the plundering of his tongue in my mouth and the luscious kisses only serving to push me closer to the edge. Steady and strong he drove into me again and again, his breath rushing out in bursts. His effort to hold off for me was obvious. I would have been fine without climaxing. I just wanted to be close to him, but he knew how to coax it from me.
My body started to shudder and contract around him as I gave myself over to the flood of sensations. "Uhhhh...”
"Yes, love... I can feel you starting to come. I love that I do that to you. Oh, babe..." His body tensed and shuddered as he thrust one last time while he came deep inside my body. I found myself wanting every drop of him that I could get and I rocked my hips and squeezed around him. "Uh, Brook," he breathed out and collapsed upon me.
We lay still connected together, Cade panting into the pillow and me stroking my hands lightly up and down his back. I raised my head to bite into his shoulder. He laughed lightly and raised his head so that he could look down into my face.
"Do you bloody get that I can't live without you?" He quirked his eyebrow at me and grinned as he thrust hard against me once more. I reached up and ran my hand through his gorgeous hair.
"Yes. I'm sorry...” I began.
"Shhh." Cade nuzzled my nose and kissed me lightly on the lips, brushing his open mouth against mine. His sweet breath rushed over my face and I raised my mouth for more. "Shhh... Just kiss me. You taste so good." He kissed me again deeply then raised his head and gazed into my eyes, his blue eyes still glazed over with passion.
I looked up at him seriously for a moment before he slid out of my body and to my side, pulling me against his chest and into the crook of his arm. I closed my eyes, the exhaustion catching up to me; my body relaxed and sated in the arms of the man that I loved. "I just...”
"I know. We don't have to rehash it. It's been hell on both of us. But it's almost bloody over. I'm counting the days."
"When are you supposed to go back to New York?" I asked hesitantly.
"Friday. They want me to fly back from San Diego and not go up to L.A." His hand brushed up and down my arm, his touch soothing and comforting, but he sighed heavily.
I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest. "What is it?"
"I just... I'm tired of this whole bloody charade. I want to be honest. And tomorrow will just be more of the same. Then they ship me off and away from you as quickly as they possibly can." His frustration was clear. "I just feel like it's never going to bloody end."
I looked at him through the darkness in the room, with only the light from the television casting a glow on his features. I'd missed his beautiful face despite all of the time I'd spent looking at photos of him online. He was even more beautiful in person. I kissed his chest lovingly and then rested my chin back where it had been. "Well... it's going to be different when we film A Love Like This. You made that deal, right? I mean... we won't be able to be obvious, but at least we will stay together in Vancouver, Cade. That's something." I let my fingers trace figure eights on the muscles of his lower stomach, mesmerized but the trail of hair leading beneath the edge of the sheet low on his hips.
He cupped my face with a gentle hand. "I want to be obvious, love. I want to shout it from the bloody rooftops. I want everyone to know you're mine, sweet."
I sighed and crawled up his body, snuggling into his neck and kissing the side of his face. "I know you do. Why do you love me?" I asked incredulously. "I don't deserve you."
"Hmmph." I couldn't see his face but I knew he was smiling as he kissed the top of my head and his arms tightened around me. "I'll tell you what you deserve, yeah?"
I laughed lightly. "Yeah. So what do I deserve?"
"Everything that I can give you and more." A smile filled his voice and his hands ran over my body.
"Why are you so perfect? I love how you talk to me, what you say... the sound of your voice. I really missed you."
"Brook, if I were perfect we'd never bloody argue! Last I checked, we argue," he scoffed. "A lot."
"It's ‘cause I'm such a bitch. It has nothing to do with you," I laughed soft
ly.
"Whatever," he replied in exasperation. I could almost hear his eyes roll in the darkness. "You're tired. We can fight about this tomorrow, okay? Go to sleep, my love. In a few short hours it's back to the madness."
"I missed your sweet British ass," I smiled, hugging him closer and closing my eyes.
He chuckled softly, his chest vibrating beneath my cheek. "Ah, Brook." He yawned and I knew he was as tired as I was, probably even more due to the three-hour time difference. "My British ass missed you too, love."
I STRETCHED IN THE bed, alone. My phone was ringing and I scrambled to get to it.
"Yeah?" I mumbled into the phone and flopped back down on the bed. There was a note on the pillow where the indent left from Brook's head was still plainly visible.
"Hey. Where are you?" Denise's voice was tense. "Jesus Cade, Brook and Noah are both here already and you're ten minutes late for the photo call before the first press conference," she lamented.
I was reading the note and barely registered what she said.
Hey, sexy beast. Love you, want you, need you. Always. Now get your ass to the convention center, pronto. I'll make it up to you later.
She had scrawled a smiley face by the letter B across the bottom in her messy handwriting. I smiled and rolled off the bed.
"Cade!" Denise yelled into the phone. "Hello?"
"Yeah, okay, Denise. I'll be down shortly. Did you send a car?"
"What the fuck? What do I usually do, Cade, if it's not take care of your ass?"
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I teased. I was smiling as I pulled my jeans on, almost dropping the phone in the process, and searched for my T-Shirt.
Bloody hell, I don't have time to pull different clothes out of my bag, let alone shower. I groaned as I caught a glimpse of my disheveled self in the mirror and I wet my hands and ran them through my hair trying to make some sort of order out of it. It was pretty much a lost cause and forget shaving. There was absolutely no time for that.
Oh well, good thing that the fans are used to me looking like I just fell out of bed. Today I did, for Christ's sake!
"Fuck you. You make my job so damn hard sometimes!" she ranted.
"Relax. I'm already on my way downstairs... so is the car there or not?" I grabbed the plaid button-down I'd worn last night and threw it over my T-Shirt and shoved my feet into my favorite Nike's.
Denise sighed loudly. "What do you think? I'm in it, waiting. Security should be waiting for you at the elevator."
I saw three large blokes I didn't recognize down the hall just after I left my room.
"Yeah, I see them. Is Brook already there?" I smirked, knowing she was and thinking I would get chastised from Denise for even asking.
"Yes. She has her shit together, per her usual. Very professional, even if she looked a little, um...” she cleared her throat, "unkempt."
“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” I almost laughed out loud.
“Awesome. So everyone will know you were together all night.”
I ignored her comment and moved on, walking out of the elevator with security and through the lobby of the hotel. The fans started screaming the minute they saw me through the glass windows. I shoved my sunglasses on and tried to prepare for the onslaught.
"Hey, I'm professional. I was tired and overslept. Who cares as long as I show up? I hate this bloody rubbish and you know it. I have to do the dance now, see you in a few." I hung up and shoved the phone in my back pocket as the doors opened and I was met with the screaming throng of women. I stopped to sign a few autographs, but the girls kept screaming my name and shoving more and more books and pictures in my direction. Finally, I had to get into the car with Denise and the closed door muffled the loud voices.
I ran my hand through my hair as she shook her head at me.
"Christ, Cade. Good thing you're so beautiful, because you're a mess." She rolled her eyes in admonishment.
"Whatever. Look, this is a job, nothing more. I don't enjoy this process," I sighed as I leaned my head back against the seat. "So? What needs to happen?"
"Well, you have the press conference, a couple of panels, the private interview with Entertainment Weekly, the photo call with the entire cast outside the convention center and then the re-screenings of The Future of Our Past and Don’t Forget to Remember Me, this evening." Denise was reading out of her day planner, periodically biting on the end of her pen.
"Oh... that's all?" I asked sarcastically.
Bloody hell, it was like we were monkeys in a cage at a circus.
She shrugged. "That's the price you pay for being a huge star," she said offhandedly. "The crowds clamoring for you translate into my next salary negotiation so can it. Brook and Noah are already in the hall waiting and getting photos taken. You'll join them, but Cade, remember to keep your distance from Brook. Pinnacle has asked that Noah sit between the two of you."
"That's silly. I mean, there is no love triangle in this film… especially with me and Noah.” I mocked and tugged at the neck of my T-Shirt. It was hot in the limo and I was anxious.
"Um, yeah, right. Sure, Cade. You're hilarious."
I smirked but I wasn't amused. "So, what does that mean?"
"You know what it means! You and Brook seem to have uncontrollable urges to ogle and stare each other." I smirked and put my hand over my mouth as she continued. "We get it, but try to keep it under control. Noah in the middle should help. At least, that's what Pinnacle is hoping for."
I sighed as all the frustration that I'd felt the past nine weeks swelled within my chest. "Screw Pinnacle, Denise. In three weeks we'll be back in Vancouver and they've agreed to let us stay in the same hotel, so isn't this a lot of wasted subterfuge?" I scoffed. "Haven't Brook and I been through enough? We almost broke up several times this summer. I mean... really?”
She had the grace to soften her features as she watched me, hesitating slightly before speaking. "I know and I'm sorry. But even during the next shoot, it won't be like you'll be able to be obvious, Cade. That's part of the compromise. The good news is that you'll be with her most of the time."
Yes, and then after three more months it was just another ride on the same damn publicity train when I went to Europe and Australia for my next film. I put both heels of my hands to my eyes and scrubbed, knocking my sunglasses off and onto the floor of the limousine.
I didn't bother voicing what I was thinking or feeling. As close as Denise and I were, and for all the time that she had been my manager, even she couldn't understand what it was like to feel like a lab rat. No one could. No one; but Brook.
The limo pulled up to the backside of the convention center where the police had the street blocked off. We were ushered alongside one of the main doors so I could get through without dealing with the mobs of people again.
"The press had been instructed to avoid any personal questions, especially about your relationship, so hopefully that won't be a problem."
I got out of the limo, greeted by my bodyguards. "Oh, so you mean they won't ask us if we shagged last night?" I asked, disgust filling my voice as I remembered all of the comments Brook and I had to endure over the summer, beginning all the way back in June at the airport as I went to New York for the first time. "You have more confidence in them than I do."
Denise put her hand on my arm but didn't say anything as we walked in the door and down a long hallway. Another door opened and I could hear the screaming getting closer.
"Noah!! Brook!! Ahhhh!!!!"
Jesus, here we go!
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, Caden Carlisle!" A nameless announcer boomed over the din, but then the screams increased even more. I walked out onto a raised platform where Brook was standing with Noah, his arm tightly around her, and her arm around his waist in return.
Brook's eyes briefly darted to meet mine and then away, while Noah nodded to me in silent greeting.
"Hi. Sorry I'm late," I murmured, taking my place on Brook's left side. Immediately
my arm went around her and pulled her slightly away from Noah and closer to me. I'd be damned if I could help myself. The hand I'd slid behind her back reached out to wrap around the arm she had around Noah. I pulled it back slightly, in silent request she remember who she belonged to. I glanced down at her face and although she wasn't looking at me, I recognized the gentle smirk that spread across her lips at my action.
The cameras flashed for a few minutes, the reporters getting their fill as we all smiled and posed for them.
"I fucking hate this shit," Brook said under her breath, never breaking the smile formed on her lips. Noah seemed a natural, eating up the adoration being thrown our way.
It was a bloody long morning, being bombarded by question after question; even the dreaded relationship question and I dropped my head and tried to hide a smile as Brook let the guy have it.
"Okay, seriously? You did not just fucking ask me that, right?" The subject was dropped after that, Denise stepping in to remind the reporters those types of questions were off limits.
I stole a look at Brook and on several occasions while Noah was answering questions, we'd talk softly, leaning into each other. I could feel Denise and Jeanne's eyes boring into us, but I didn't bloody care. Brook seemed oblivious as well, which suited me perfectly. At least the long separation made her less sensitive to keeping our relationship a secret.
I laughed out loud when a reporter asked each of us what scene we were looking forward to shooting in the coming movies and Brook's response was such an in your face response that left everyone there in no doubt as to her meaning.
"Um... Well, we’re um… gonna make a baby," she said with a smirk and sat back in her chair, running her hands through her short dark hair as she tried to keep from laughing. It was bloody brilliant and the crowd went wild. Anyone who read the books knew what the third film would entail.
Thinking back on the last two months, I could only remember one time when the crap going down with the tabloid articles was even remotely funny. It was when that stupid European rag reported that Brook was pregnant. I panicked at how that would affect her so I'd called her right after I'd heard it, keeping my voice light-hearted. I knew if it were true, she would have told me herself.