After a few minutes of fishing, I heard Amber scream with excitement.
“I think I’ve got something!” she screamed. Dad dropped his beers and hurried over to help Amber. It was a big fish and those around looked at dad and Amber as they tried to bring it to land. I grabbed Amber’s camera and took a few photos as she and dad pulled.
“It’s a big fish!” screamed dad. “Might be the biggest one we catch all day,” he added. Dad awarded Amber with his famous ‘Fisher of the Day’ badge after catching a total of six fish. I was happy to be able to cross the first thing out of Amber’s list.
On Valentine’s Day I had the perfect gift for Amber. She and I were going to adopt a golden retriever puppy. I saw the flyer on the internet two days prior and I couldn’t wait to tell Amber. I got Nick to drive us out of town where Mr. and Mrs. Puller were giving away free pups.
“Number eight, now,” I said jumping out of the car.
“It’ll be your valentine’s gift,” I explained. Close to the farm I covered Amber’s eyes so she wouldn’t be able to see the breed until we got there. The barks of the eight puppies inside the large cardboard box made Amber smile. Mr. and Mrs. Puller welcomed us inside. The loud squeaky barks made it hard to hear Mr. Puller who tried saying something. Amber was anxious to see what kind of puppy we were going to adopt. I helped her inside the cardboard box where the puppies began chewing on her ankles almost instantly.
“There’s too many of them we can’t keep them all,” said Mr. Puller. Amber couldn’t stop smiling as all the pups gathered around her. Her smiling suddenly stopped, I realized Mrs. Puller was looking directly at Amber’s short hair. Mrs. Puller walked slowly up to us as she kept staring at Amber.
“I’m a cancer survivor myself,” she said in a low voice.
“Something tells you can survive too,” she added smiling. Amber said nothing and smiled back. She focused her attention back on the puppies and so did I.
“Which one of these puppies will be the one to go home with this young couple?” asked Mr. Puller. I couldn’t help laughing and neither did Amber.
“We’re just friends,” I said slowly trying for Mr. Puller not to hear. I looked around for the best puppy in the box, I wanted a playful puppy, I looked for the most active one but Amber had already made her choice.
“That one,” she said pointing at one of the smallest pups behind me. I picked up the shy pup and got it close to my face, he had the cutest face and it tried biting my nose. I tried placing it down but it barked and crawled up my arm again. I was trying to make the best decision but Amber had already chosen the pup in my arms and apparently it had chosen us.
“You chose the only female,” said Mr. Puller.
We thanked Mr. and Mrs. Puller and walked back to the car.
“I want you to keep her,” I heard Amber say.
“She can be ours,” I said, trying to understand why Amber had said that.
“Sure, but you’ll keep her,” she said. “You know, when I’m gone,” I heard her whisper.
We couldn’t come up with a good name for our pup and we decided to wait until we came along with the perfect one.
It took me a good two weeks to figure out Amber’s bucket list required money to be completed, and it was then when I started applying at jobs for guys my age. A manager from an ice-cream shop hired me after I explained what I wanted the job for, but only allowed me to work weekends and that didn’t equal so much money. My job was simple, serve vanilla and chocolate cones for six hours the hard thing came when Amber visited me at work and I would spill or confuse the flavors and customers would get upset. I didn’t want to tell Amber about her making me nervous; it was nice to see her at work but knew that if this went on I would have to ask her to stop.
After two weeks I felt what dad had warned me about. I was exhausted. On Saturday I got home and fell asleep without having dinner.
“You alright?” asked dad peaking inside my bedroom door. I nodded trying to make him go away but instead he stepped inside.
“You’re doing really good things for that girl,” he said sitting close to me. I couldn’t remember the last time dad had sat on my bed and I listened closely to what he had to say.
“Maybe it’s time for you to tell her what you really feel,” he said raising his eyebrows. I knew what dad was trying to say but I tried looking confused, it was weird to know that dad knew about my crush without me telling him.
“You don’t have much time, and sometimes love is the only cure,” he ended up saying. He got up and before he left my room he scratched my head as he did when I was a little kid.
“Thanks dad,” I said before he left my room. Dad closed my door and left me to think for hours.
Hours of thinking made me realize how stupid I had been. All these years I’d known I had a crush on Amber. Sometimes I lied about it but never had I stopped liking the girl, the more I thought about her the more it made me smile. I made up my mind to tell her exactly how I felt the next time I saw her.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Amber: On Sunday morning I got up before anyone else and prepared breakfast for all of us. I had breakfast with mom and dad while Grace was still in bed. I finished breakfast fast and told mom and dad I was taking my bike to Noah’s. For the first time I didn’t ask for their permission, and it felt great. My bike was old and rusty, but still the perfect size for me. I raced down the street towards Noah’s as the wind hit my face, I felt the cold air lift up my sweater, it was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt free to go where my feet lead me to.
I knocked hard on Noah’s front door expecting to see Mr. Paxton but instead I saw Noah staring at me as if he had seen a ghost. He still wore his pajamas and wore a muscle shirt. I tried not looking at him the same way he looked at me. I checked my face making sure I didn’t have a bug or something wrong in it for him to stare at me the way he was.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. He stuttered and couldn’t say a word.
“Is this a bad time?” I asked. He nodded but still wouldn’t say a word. He welcomed me inside and left me alone in his living room. I thought he’d change his clothes but after fifteen minutes I began doubting if he had gone back to sleep. I tiptoed down the hall and placed my ear on Noah’s bedroom door. I could hear him saying something, but I couldn’t figure out what he said. I wanted to knock, and make sure everything was okay but went back to the living as fast as I could when I heard him say.
“Here I go.”
I sat down on the closest sofa and saw Noah come out of his room with his work uniform. He looked at me funny and looked back at the couch where I had been seated.
“I have something to tell you,” he said. I felt my heart faster, it was usually me who used those words in our conversations so I didn’t know what to expect.
“What is it?” I asked. He sat close to me and took a breath. I felt him move closer to me and his staring into my eyes intimated me.
“Amber, since the day I met you I noticed something in you that I hadn’t noticed in any other girl. And till this date I haven’t noticed on any other girls either,” he said looking down. He began to scare me with his statement and I tried to back away but stopped as he continued talking.
“Amber, I don’t know what love is but I think I love you, I’ve liked you since fifth grade and now I know it’s something special, I’m sorry if this is weird for you but I just had to tell you what I feel,” he ended saying. I was speechless. I was glad he wasn’t looking at me or otherwise he would notice my discomfort, I didn’t know what to say, was he asking me something? Deep inside I knew Noah had a crush on me, but never did I imagine him telling me.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said honestly.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just wanted you to know what I feel,” he said. I came closer to him and hugged him to give me some time to think.
“You’re really nice Noah, but you’re my best friend and it’s weird to talk about this with you,
besides I see you more like a brother,” I said. It was obvious Noah wanted to hear something different he faked smiled and said I was right. We spent the rest of the morning on our bikes not saying much but asking ourselves lots of questions. Noah was the only true friend and honestly I didn’t know I felt for him. The days went on and Noah kept working trying to save money to take me skydiving, it was on March 12th that we found out we had to be over eighteen to be able to do so. I had resigned about it and was thinking on what other thing to do.
It was until March 19th that Noah surprised me in a way he’d never had.
“Number five today,” he said as we spoke on the phone. I went back to my list and read Skydive of number five.
“Impossible,” I said. Noah laughed and before I knew it he opened my bedroom door.
“Let’s go!” he screamed flapping five tickets in midair.
“What?” But before he could answer mom, dad and Grace all stepped inside my room.
“We’re going to Canada!” screamed dad.
Everyone had packed their bags and ready to go, Noah explained it was dad’s idea to go to Toronto where you only had to be sixteen to Skydive and that he was paying for it all. He helped me with my bags and told me we only had an hour to get the airport. It was a four-hour flight and based on Noah’s math, we would be jumping off a helicopter before five.
I was hyped to know Grace was also jumping with us and so was dad.
“I will not jump,” said mom on the plane as Grace insisted.
“You know how much I hate flying, I’m definitely not jumping from a flying helicopter,” she said.
The plane arrived a little past one, and dad got us a taxi to the Skydive Toronto Inc. Dad seemed more excited than me, and asked the taxi driver to speed it up.
“I’m going off first, who’s going off second?” he asked.
“Me, I am!” screamed Grace. We had to take a boring first lesson which lasted nearly an hour before we could go up in the air. Mom said goodbye and she begged me and Grace one more time to reconsider not jumping. It was the first time for all four us inside a helicopter and now I understood why mom had said to reconsider jumping. I began feeling sick and so did Noah. Dad and Grace laughed at us and called us chickens as we got higher. I was hard to hear what dad and Grace had to say and I wanted all this to be over with already. I wasn’t afraid; I was actually excited to feel gravity pull me down on earth. Dad went first and by the look on his face when he and the instructor jumped he was enjoying it more than any of us. Grace closed her eyes as she and the instructor got lost in the wind. It was Noah’s turn but he refused to stand up from his seat.
“What if the parachute doesn’t open?” I read his lips.
“It will!” I screamed, hoping he’d hear me. The tandem instructor hooked on Noah and they stood at the edge of the copter. Noah waved at me and before they jumped, I heard his scream.
“I LOVE YOUUUUUU!”
I tried looking down to see if I’d see them but gravity was too fast for my eyes. It was my turn and the amount of adrenaline that filled my body was exciting. I wanted to jump already, I leaned over to the instructor and he gave me a few instructions. He moved his hands in all directions and finally told me it was time to jump. I felt my heart beat faster and faster as he hooked me on and walked closer to the edge. A big chunk of blue was visible to our left and soon I saw his hand in front of my face, his five fingers raised and slowly he began counting down, five, four, the adrenaline that I felt was indescribable. His fingers stopped for a second but then continued counting down three, two, and one. I felt my feet sweep of the floor and into the air. I’d expect to feel that stomach drop feeling that you get in a rollercoaster but I didn’t. It didn’t feel like I was falling either, the wind hit my face and body but the land underneath me didn’t seem to be coming any closer. I tried looking back to check if we were off the plane but it was impossible, the excitement of free falling lasted almost an entire minute but it felt much more than that, I heard something above me and slowly began to float much slower. The land below looked much closer and as we reached our landing zone I saw both Grace and Noah jumping with excitement.
“We did it!” screamed Grace. Both of them raced at me and hugged me before I was set free from my instructor.
“That was incredible!” I heard Noah repeating himself.
“I can’t believe we’ve never done that before!” I heard dad scream behind us. I reminded myself of what Noah said before he jumped and reminded him just to bug him.
“Did you say something before you jumped out?” I asked.
“Hmm, no I didn’t,” he said scratching the back of his head.
“I could almost bet I heard you scream something,” I insisted.
“No, no, no I was just praying for everything to turn out okay,” he said as his cheeks turned red.
I thought we’d stay overnight but to my surprise dad called in a taxi for us to the airport after dinner.
I thought a lot about what Noah had said to me a few days back and on what he had screamed before he had jumped. The more I thought about the more I believed him. Part of me wanted to feel the same towards him but another part of me knew that was wrong. Noah deserved much more. I couldn’t love someone knowing I’d die at any moment. It wouldn’t be fair, not for him at least. This is one of things cancer deprives you off, loving someone. Noah loved me, no doubt about it. I could tell by the way he looked at me, by all the nice things he did for me. But he deserved something I couldn’t give to him, a long lasting love story.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Noah: How do you love someone that doesn’t love you back? Easy, you just do.
I was an idiot the day I thought it would be a good idea to tell Amber how I felt. It was all thanks to dad that I ended up looking like a complete idiot when I told her. I regretted it so much it made me angry just to remember how uncomfortable I must have made her feel.
It had been only been a few hours since I had decided to tell her how I felt the next time I saw her. I never imagined her knocking at my door the very next morning. I still wore the ripped pajamas that I had since I was eleven and there she was staring at me as if she had gotten ready for a date that I wasn’t aware of.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. Nothing, I tried saying, but my brain wouldn’t obey.
“Is this a bad time?” she asked. “No, it’s not,” I thought. I moved my hands inside for her to come inside and luckily Amber followed. I saw her take a seat on the smallest couch and I went down the hall and into my room. I locked the door and couldn’t believe what was happening. I tried rehearsing what I was about to say but couldn’t get it right. After fifteen minutes I changed into my work uniform and made up my mind to tell her, my brain was building all these conclusions of the possible scenarios that could occur after I explained what I felt.
“Maybe we can end up kissing and she’d be able to knock number two of her list,” I told myself.
When I came back to the living room I saw Amber sitting on the opposite couch where I had left her.
“I have something to tell you,” I said, sitting next to her.
“What is it?” she asked, in a surprised tone. I took a deep breath and told her what soon I’d regret.
“Amber, since the day I met you I noticed something in you that I hadn’t noticed in any other girl. And till this date I haven’t noticed on any other girls either,” I said stupidly. It was hard keeping eye contact, as I spoke I looked down on her shoes instead of her eyes. I took a deep breath and went on to say more uncomfortable statements.
“Amber, I don’t know what love is but I think I love you, I’ve liked you since fifth grade and now I know it’s something special, I’m sorry if this is weird for you but I just had to tell you what I feel,” I said.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same; I just wanted you to know what I feel,” I confessed. I felt Amber come closer to me and she gave me
what I like to call a friendly, sorry hug. She didn’t feel the same towards me and I had to accept it.
“You’re really nice Noah, but you’re my best friend and it’s weird to talk about this with you, besides I see you more like a brother,” she said.
I backed away and told Amber it was okay. I knew from this point on nothing would be the same. We rode our bikes all around the neighborhood and avoided eye contact as much as possible. I was hoping my confession wouldn’t be the end to our friendship.
It was a busy day at work and I didn’t see Amber until the next morning at school. We talked in lunch but not the same as days before, something had changed between us and it had all been my fault.
I was a bit scared when I saw Amber’s house phone number on my caller ID that night, to my luck it wasn’t Amber on the phone but Mr. Sanders.
“Noah, hey we have a surprise for Amber,” he said.
“Okay,” I struggled, to continue talking.
“I saw Amber’s list and we want to take her skydiving. Unfortunately, we have to go up to Canada and we want you to come with us, it’s still a surprise for Amber so please don’t tell her,”
“I’d love to go!” I answered. “Great is your mom or dad home we’d like to get their permission,” said Mr. Sanders. I ran to dad’s room and told him about Mr. Sander’s idea. They spoke on the phone for a long time and I often saw dad look at me and smile. He nodded his head and finally ended the call.
Amber's Star Page 16