“Please fall,” I whispered to myself. Noah was fantastic at this game. The wooden tower didn’t move as he removed a middle block. It was now Grace’s turn, and up next was mine. She attempted to remove a block and before she knew it, the tower fell. Noah celebrated, but I didn’t. I saw Nick whisper something in Noah’s ear and when he spoke I understood what was going on. Noah leaned closer to me and told me what he was about to say.
“We dare you and Nick to go looking for Mr. and Mrs. Sanders,” he said.
My sister didn’t hesitate and took Nick outside with her. They took a pair of flashlights and off they went. There was an awkward silence between me and Noah. He just sat there looking at me. His lips looked so kissable. I wanted him to make a move and wanted him to make a move fast. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted that more than anything. I tried to move the table with my feet, but it would be too obvious. I saw Noah coming closer to me, but he was only getting up.
“Come outside with me,” he said. No, I thought. I wanted to stay inside where no one could see us, Noah was already sitting when I came out.
“This is incredible,” he said, looking up at the stars. The stars looked big and shiny. He lay close to the tent and so did I.
I moved closer to him, and he finally made a move. He placed his hand over me and scooted me closer to him. I pretended to be cold to see if he’d notice, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave me a quick lesson on the constellations that were visible and pointed them out in the sky for me to try to remember.
“They’re beautiful,” I said.
“They are, my grandpa used to say, that stars are those who leave this world to never come back. I think he could be right. Maybe that’s why every star is so unique. Every star has its own story, and every star is beautiful in its own way,” he said. I wanted him to shut up. I was as close as I could be to him and he wasn’t trying anything. I hugged him and forced him to hug me too. I laid my head on his chest.
“Oh no, the clouds are getting in the way,” he said. He was right, the sky was now full of clouds and only a few stars were visible. It took me a few minutes to realize Noah wouldn’t be able to make a move. It was up to me. I thought of the perfect way to do it.
The desire of kissing him was intense. My heart was beating faster knowing this was the best time for me to kiss him. Mom and dad would take at least half an hour to get back. and Grace and Nick were nowhere to be seen. I raised my arm towards his hair and began playing with it. I knew Noah liked that. He closed his eyes and smiled. I moved in closer and without further thinking I made a move. Before he could open his eyes, my lips met his. I felt his eyes open with surprise. He closed them once he realized what was going on. It was the best first kiss I could have asked for. I felt his smile grow close to mines as the kiss continued. I didn’t want it to end; I wanted to kiss him again and again. I felt a raindrop at the top of my head, then another one on my left arm. Soon the rain got heavier and in between us. My first kiss had ended because of the rain. I saw Noah smiling as I’d never seen him before. He pulled a list of his own and I saw him cross out number six.
6. Kiss Amber.
My first kiss had been just in time. We heard Grace and Nick coming back. Mom and dad arrived minutes later, and we all sat inside the biggest tent trying to dry off. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. It was the best moment of my life.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Noah: I never imagined Amber jumping. She changed into her shorts and jumped into the cold water. I was glad she was having fun, but I couldn’t believe she’d last as long as she did. The current underneath was hard to stand on, and the river’s ground was slippery. I tried staying as closer as I could to her. After a few minutes, I saw her walk towards the edge.
“Need some help?” I asked, trying to lift her up.
“You’re so warm,” I heard her say in a shivering voice.
“You’re freezing,” I said.
Nick and I were lucky that Mrs. Sanders had packet an extra pair of towels or we would have frozen. We found a sunny rock and lay while we dried off. The mountain was visible, and I figured it was the perfect time to persuade Mr. Sanders to move our camping site.
“We should set camp up there,” I said, pointing so Mr. Sanders could see.
“I was thinking the same thing, but it will be hard getting the rest of the camp up there,” he answered.
“Maybe just for tonight,” I insisted. “You won’t regret the view we’ll have at night with all the stars above us.”
“Sounds good, just for tonight,” he said.
We dried off and headed up to tonight’s camping zone. Setting up camp was much harder than I thought. Mr. Sanders had me and Nick read out the tents manual, but still we couldn’t get them to stay up. We helped him as much as we could, but he did most of the hard work. Before seven only a few things were left on our previous campsite but Mr. Sanders, Nick and I were too tired to come down.
Grace was the first to notice the magnificent event going on in the sky. The night was slowly closing in and the stars were showing. It was the perfect time to give the group a lesson on the entire constellations that were visible. Mr. and Mrs. Sanders were quite impressed, while Nick and Grace kept calling me a nerd.
After an hour of rest, Mr. Sanders took me and Nick with him for the rest of the stuff. The only remaining was some of the wood Mr. Sanders had collected to make a fire.
“I’ll come back for those later,” he said as we headed up for the last time.
I could eat anything Mrs. Sanders cooked. We had beans straight out of a can and they tasted great.
Mr. Sanders entertained the rest of us with stories from his childhood. It was great to hear how he got his first job and how he met Mrs. Sanders.
Amber had probably heard these stories hundreds of times otherwise, she would have been paying more attention.
Mr. Sanders finished his middle-school story and decided it was time for him and Mrs. Sanders to go get the firewood. I saw Amber and Grace go inside their tent; Grace carried what looked like a small wooden table and a tall board game. Nick called me along and the four of us stepped inside into the small tent. The four of us gathered around a wooden table. Amber stared at me, I thought I’d done something wrong but couldn’t think of anything.
“Whoever loses has to be dared,” said Nick.
Amber and Grace stacked up the Jenga tower and the game began. It was hard to concentrate with Amber staring the way she was, and it took me a while to get used to it. I didn’t want to lose knowing the type of dares Nick liked. I was careful not to make any mistake. After four turns, Grace had lost. I celebrated silently and saw Nick approach me. At first I thought he would want to go easy on her, but he had something else in mind.
“It’s time,” he whispered into my ear. “I’m going to ask her. Dare her to go with looking for Mr. and Mrs. Sanders,” he added. I nodded and leaned over on Amber to notify her.
“We dare you and Nick to go looking for Mr. and Mrs. Sanders,” I said. Grace didn’t complain and grabbed a pair of flashlights and walked out into the dark.
Amber and I were alone. At first there was silence. My brain began playing tricks on me and soon I started thinking how great it would be to kiss her. I knew I couldn’t control myself inside, so I made a move to go outside.
“Come outside with me,” I said. I leaned back in between the tent and the campfire.
“This is incredible,” I said, seeing Amber coming out the tent. To make things harder for me, Amber lay next to me. I felt her getting closer as I tried to explain the stars above us.
“They’re beautiful,” I heard her say.
“They are, my grandpa used to say, that stars are those who leave this world to never come back. I think he could be right. Maybe that’s why every star is so unique. Every star has its own story, and every star is beautiful in its own way,” I said.
I wanted Nick and Grace to be back already, I couldn’t stand being alone with Amber. I looked over my
shoulder to see if Nick and Grace were around, but they weren’t. I felt Amber move closet to me, and before I knew she had turned and placed her left hand around me. She pulled my hand down, and the two of us hugged in a weird position for half a second.
“Oh no, the clouds are getting in the way,” I said, trying to get Amber to look up again. Amber didn’t answer. She had gone back to rest on her back and after a few minutes she began playing with my hair. Amber knew me well and after a few seconds of her playing with my hair, my eyes were closed. I enjoyed this, it felt great. I could have this all night, but what Amber did next I won’t forget. The playing with my hair stopped and before I could ask her to continue, I felt her soft lips touch mines. I couldn’t believe it, I opened my eyes to make sure this was real, and it was. I forgot everything around me and focused only Amber. My first kiss went on for a few seconds and then I felt Amber smile. I did the same and kissed her back. It was the best seconds of my life. I had dreamed and fantasized about this many times, and it was had finally happened.
I couldn’t have asked for a better first kiss, I had finally kissed the girl I’ve liked since I was ten. My first kiss ended when the rain became so intense that it was hard to see. We stepped back inside the tent and smiled.
Back inside Amber’s tent, I pulled out my bucket list and crossed out number six, Kiss Amber. I couldn’t stop smiling. The rain didn’t last long and within a few minutes Grace and Nick came back wet from head to toe. Mr. and Mrs. Sanders did too. We ended up using the wooden table to start a fire and dry off. I couldn’t help smiling at Amber, she had done something I’d never forget, and by the way she smiled she wouldn’t forget this either.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Amber: I knew Grace better than anyone did, and she knew me too well as well. It didn’t take us long to confess what had just happened.
“I kissed him,” I said, trying to contain the excitement. Grace jumped up in down and moved her arms in the air.
She later confessed she and Nick were now boyfriend and girlfriend, and they would tell mom and dad when we got back home.
It was a great camping trip, but like all good things in life, it had to end. I saw dad packing, and it broke my heart to know this could be the last time we went camping as a family.
I went up to mom and dad and thanked them. I thanked them for being the way they were and for letting me be the way I was. I took the last photos and saved them. I had something planned for everyone I loved, and these photos were going to be a part of it.
Noah’s smile changed ever since our first kiss. He seemed so happy all the time, and I wondered if the same had happened to me.
Noah slept on the plane on our way back to Boston. It was a cold, windy day back in Boston.
Mr. Paxton waved at us as we reached his house. He sat us down and demanded us to tell him all about the trip. He seemed excited to know every detail. I did most of the talking while Noah, Grace, and Nick listened.
Mr. Paxton seemed fascinated. He requested for me to show him the entire photo collection. Over three-hundred photos and he examined every one of them. He complimented me on how good a photographer I was for my age, but suddenly I began not hearing what he had to say. Everything spun inside my head, I tried standing up but it was a bad idea; I felt the floor underneath me move, and before I could help it; I had thrown up all over Mr. Paxton’s living room. I saw Mr. Paxton’s worried face and then Noah’s and finally Grace’s. I was afraid for this to be my end.
***
I woke up with Dr. Nahal striking a mini flashlight in my eyes. It had happened again. I had fainted, and once again I was lying inside this hospital bed. I don’t know what Dr. Nahal did but. I felt nothing. Nothing in my body hurt. I got more pills that would help me keep the food inside my body. Dr. Nahal explained to mom and dad that it wasn’t recommended for me to fly anymore. I left that same day and Noah came to visit me at my house afterward. I felt weird seeing Noah. We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend but I felt something for him, something that me nervous to be around him. I couldn’t be myself anymore, and I worried much more about how I looked.
We spent most of our time talking and editing the photos I had taken on my computer. I enjoyed having Noah around. I felt safe around him.
Five months after Dr. Nahal’s diagnosis, I started feeling the cancer. I came out of my room only to use the restroom and to go to school. I had lost six pounds in the last two weeks and it was hard for me to keep anything inside my stomach. I began crying at night ever since then. I tried to look normal when those I loved were around, but when alone I was devastated. It scared me that every day it could be my last. It scared me to not be able to tell Noah what I felt for him. I knocked on Grace’s door one night and told her all I felt for him.
I didn’t want to say goodbye, Dr. Nahal had recommended me to tell those I loved how I felt, but I couldn’t. I saw mom and dad try to spend as much time as they could with me, dad skipped work several times a week and that was something I’d never seen him do.
Getting used to the idea of dying was horrible. I felt something in my chest, something that words can’t describe. I didn’t want to leave this world; I didn’t want to leave mom, dad, Grace, or Noah. It broke my heart that they would miss me as much as I would miss them. I had learned to be brave around them. I got to the conclusion that if I told them I was ready to die, it would be easier for them to process. I was happy when they were close, but when I was all by myself it was hard not to cry. I begged God for my death to be fast and not painful. I asked him for that almost every single day. Each day I felt weaker. Each day I felt it like my last. My bucket list was almost complete. The only thing left was to assist the school dance, which was two weeks ahead. I knew Noah was trying to get the prompt to be sooner.
The only thing that consoled me was that I’d soon see Ernest. I knew he’d welcome me into heaven by licking my face and biting my ears. I couldn’t wait to once again hear his barks full of joy.
Mom made my favorite foods almost every day of the week. I had some good days where I was able to finish my entire plate. On those days, I called Noah for him and me to take Hope on a quick walk.
Noah was committed. I couldn’t argue with that. But I couldn’t believe him when he told me he had arranged the school’s dance to be moved for the upcoming Saturday.
“Saturday, the last thing on your list!” he shouted through the phone.
“How?” I asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” he said, then hung up. I couldn’t believe him.
“I need to buy a dress!” I screamed at mom from my room. She came sprinting to me and I told her what Noah had just informed me. Mom took me out to the mall that same day to get everything I needed. I tried on different dresses until I found the perfect one.
I saw mom’s jaw drop as I came out of the dressing room with the best silver and red dress I’d ever seen.
“That’s the one,” she said.
Grace bought me a beautiful collar to match my dress and dad said he’d drive us.
I couldn’t wait for Saturday. I checked on my dress every day and asked Grace to do my makeup several times before she agreed. I wanted to look great for Noah; it was the first time we were going out dressed like this and I wanted it to be special.
The day finally I arrived, and I was ready. Mom took a few pictures of me before Noah arrived. I couldn’t believe mom’s smile. She said I looked like a model and that I had chosen the perfect dress. I heard dad greet Noah and telling him how great he looked. He wasn’t lying. The first thing I saw was his hair. It was combed back, and it had a nice symmetry to it. His pale skin stood out perfectly from his black tuxedo. He looked great; he looked confident. He grabbed me by the hand and walked me to the living room.
Mom took photos of us from all different angles. I saw Grace come out of her room and wished us good luck. I was more than ready for the night of my life.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Noah: I wanted to keep my first
kiss a secret. Nick insisted for me to tell him what had happened when Amber and I had been left alone.
“We only talked and that’s it,” I lied.
“You coward!” he shouted. “The girl wants to kiss you, believe me, I know,” he said. If only he knew he was right I wouldn’t have been able to get him off my back.
On our way back to Boston I couldn’t stop smiling. I remembered the fact that Amber had kissed me. It made me feel secure and I was sure I was soon going to kiss her too. I wanted that more than anything now, all I needed was for her and me to be alone.
I didn’t realize at what point I fell asleep, by the time I woke up we were flying over Boston and minutes away from landing. I was excited to tell dad all about our trip but when we got home, Amber was the one who did the talking. Dad and she had become friends. Dad analyzed the photos on Amber’s camera and complimented her on each of them. Nick, Grace, and I sat back listening while dad and Amber discussed the entire trip. Amber told him every detail only leaving out our kiss.
Dad was choosing the best photos when suddenly I began seeing Amber’s eyes shutting down. It scared me to think the worse, she tried getting up and before I could react she had expulsed something yellow out of her mouth and was now falling to the floor. Dad was quick on reflexes and placed his hands underneath her before she hit the floor.
I didn’t know what to do, it was the first time I’d seen Amber do this, and I was paralyzed.
“Hurry, call an ambulance!” screamed dad. “I’m calling mom!” screamed Grace.
Mr. and Mrs. Sanders arrived minutes later and took Amber to the nearest hospital. I saw dad sweep and clean the living room with a worried face. I hadn’t seen him this bothered ever since he and mom divorced. He cleaned after Amber and told me to go see her as soon as I could.
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