“She’s not going to make it till prom,” I heard dad say slowly as I walked out.
“What are you saying?” I asked him stepping back inside.
“Son, she’s very ill, you need to be with her these days,” he whispered. I couldn’t believe what dad was saying, he was giving up. Giving up on her, just after he had said say hope was a powerful word.
“Dad you’re giving up on her?”
Dad didn’t answer. I ran out of the house and got my bike from the garage. I pedaled away fast from home. I didn’t want to hear anything that had to do with Amber. It was hard to assimilate that dad could be right. I spend a few hours riding around town before I read Grace’s text saying Amber was back home. I pedaled fast and got just in time before Amber went to bed.
I couldn’t be the same around Amber knowing what dad thought. We spent the afternoon editing photos on her computer and talking mostly about memories of us together. Amber didn’t realize what was happening to her, or maybe she did but didn’t want us to know.
Back home it was hard for me to get any sleep. Dad’s words got me thinking. I had to do something to make the school’s homecoming dance sooner. After school, I went to our principal’s office requesting to speak to him. I was a straight A’s student so I’d figure I would be able to talk to him. Mr. Thompson was a tall man with thick glasses. I introduced myself and told him all about Amber. Mr. Thompson didn’t seem to understand what I was asking for. I tried to make myself clear but Mr. Thompson didn’t approve.
“There’s nothing we can do. The events like homecoming, prom, and science fair are scheduled by the Board of Education in our district,” he explained. I thanked Mr. Thompson and decided to go to the Board of Education instead. It took me a few days to get an appointment but when I finally did I wasn’t going to get a no for an answer.
I explained Amber’s bucket list and how important it was for me, Mr. Smith didn’t ask anything as I spoke. He only nodded a few times, and after I was finished he stood up and thanked me.
“Consider it done. This Saturday, so it can give your principal some time to get organized,” he said. I thanked him and went straight home to tell dad.
“You’ll need a nice tux,” said dad smiling. He drove me to a fancy place downtown and got me to try on different tuxedos. I chose an all-black tuxedo that was the priciest of them all. Dad didn’t complain and got it for me anyway. I got nice cologne from Nick and I was ready to tell Amber.
“Saturday, the last thing on your list,” I told Amber on the phone that night.
“How?” she asked.
“Long story,” I lied, not wanting her to know how I had arranged the homecoming dance to be sooner.
The next few days in school Mr. Thompson called me constantly to his office to discuss what I had said in the board of education.
“Homecoming, this Saturday,” he said in a flat tone.
“And it’s all thanks to you.” Mr. Thompson didn’t seem happy, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was for Amber to complete her bucket list.
“We had everything planned out for the dance to be in two weeks, so guess what?” he asked. I was afraid he’d change the date back but instead, he informed me something great.
“Since you modified the homecoming date you’ll have to decorate the school’s gym!” he roared. I pretended to be upset with Mr. Thompson’s punishment but I wasn’t. I had a perfect idea planned and I requested to come after eight every day to get everything ready. Mr. Thompson provided me with some of the school’s money for the dance and I started decorating that same night. I wanted everything to be perfect. I decorated the walls with Amber’s favorite color. I decorated each corner with tiny little cameras I had printed out and I got the entrance to look like the Eiffel Tower. Everything was ready for the big night.
On Saturday night dad dropped me off at Amber’s where I tiptoed inside trying to keep my pants clean. Mr. Sanders greeted me inside and offered me to sit. I sat next to him as we waited for Amber. I saw Mr. Sanders stare at me and nod his head.
“You look great Noah,” he said. It was the first time I combed my hair in years and the first time I had used good cologne. I heard Grace’s unique laugh and I stood up to wait on Amber. She looked beautiful. She wore silver short high heels and a red silvery dress. The red lip gloss made her lips look much bigger than they usually did.
Mrs. Sanders took a few pictures of us before we left and I was ready to help Amber complete her list.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Amber: Noah and I sat at the back seat. He held my hand for the first time and brought it close to his mouth to kiss it. He smelled great. I leaned on him the entire way and sniffed deeply.
He helped me out of the car and held my hand inside. Everyone looked at us. As if we were famous. A girl I hadn’t seen before said we made a good couple and that made Noah blush. The gym was full and it was hard to walk in. Noah didn’t let go of my hand for the first hour. I looked around and spotted almost everyone in our grade except Skylar. I looked around for her but couldn’t see her. I tried to ask Noah, but the music was too loud for neither of us to hear. Some of Noah’s friends came to say hi, but he got rid of them fast.
“This night is only for me and you!” I read off his lips. The music they played was weird, but Noah insisted on us to dance. He did most of the dancing while I only moved my legs and arms. Noah’s silly dancing made me laugh and made those around us look at us as if we were freaks.
“Enjoy yourself!” he screamed. After a few songs I was feeling the music, I danced back and forth with him. We looked like a pair of kids just having fun in the middle of the dance floor. Noah jumped in the air as the music changed and I did the same. I felt alive and full of energy. For a few hours I had forgotten what my reality was like. I felt like one of them. I felt normal and free. Noah had made me feel this way. I couldn’t believe we were sweating from dancing, I felt exhausted but my body refused to leave the dance floor. Noah got us some drinks, and we chugged them down. The ceremony for homing queen and king had begun, and the music stopped for the first time. It was then that I saw Skylar. She looked beautiful. I waved at her and she waved back. She wore a light blue dress and stood next to a tall sophomore.
A pair of seniors won homecoming queen and king. The homecoming queen looked great. She and her boyfriend ended up kissing after the entire school screamed at them to do so. The rest of the night was slow dancing for me and Noah. My head was just below his and I could still smell his cologne. I felt people staring at us but I didn’t care. I was with Noah, my best friend, the boy I had liked since I was eleven even though part of me hadn’t accepted it. I closed my eyes and felt as if I were flying. Noah danced with me, he grabbed me tight. I felt safe in his arms. I saw a girl next to us take her high heels off and I did the same. I felt my feet heavy and sore. I placed my feet on top of Noah’s and let him dance for the two of us.
Noah danced with me on top of him for a few songs. He then asked me to step off. I felt him lean over me and then I felt his soft lips meet mines. A new song sounded in the background and our kiss lasted almost the entire song. Noah’s smile was best when it was close to mines. He tried backing away, but I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him once again. He grabbed my hand, asked me to put my high heels back on and lead the way out of the gym. We walked out to the football field and looked up into the stars. The music was loud enough for us to still hear. We danced to a nice song close to the twenty-yard line.
Noah’s hair was still perfectly combed back. He looked at me in the eyes and smiled. I couldn’t ask for more.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
“You’re the bravest girl I’ve known,” he added. Deep inside, I wanted him to stop. I didn’t want him to do this. He was saying goodbye. I placed my finger close to his mouth and asked him to be quiet.
“You’ve been the kindest person I could have ever met, you’ve made me happy all these years and you’ve never asked for anything in return,�
� I said. Noah was getting ready to say something, but I interrupted him with something I needed him to hear.
“I love you,” I said. Noah’s eyes opened wide. I looked at him firmly in the eyes so he knew I meant it. His eyes went watery. I stood on my tippy toes and kissed him. I felt his tears roll down my cheeks.
“I love you too,” he said, smiling. We danced as best as we could for the rest of the night. I felt so alive. I didn’t want the night to end. Noah was happy, I saw him stare into the sky and smile.
It had been the best night of my life. My bucket list was complete, and it was all thanks to Noah, all thanks to the boy who got in a fight to stand up to me and shaved his head to make me feel better.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Noah: Tonight was the night. Dad had given me some tips on how I should treat Amber.
“Hold her hand the entire way,” he said.
“Kiss her hand every time you can, make her feel special, make her happy,” were his instructions.
In the car I did exactly what dad had told me, I grabbed Amber’s hand the entire way. Amber looked great. Everyone stared at her and gasped. She looked different and everyone had noticed. Her eyes looked much bigger and the dress she wore went perfectly with the way she walked. Noisy seniors covered the entrance to the gym. It was hard to walk around them but I made my way in grabbing on to Amber. The decorations still looked great, I spotted Skylar as we walked in. She pointed at Amber as she spoke to her friends. Neither of them laughed like they used too, instead they waved at us but Amber wasn’t looking. I tried to tell Amber, but the music was too loud for her to hear me. I saw Tom and Mike coming our way, but I moved my hands so they’d know to go away. I wanted this night for Amber and me.
“This night is only for me and you!” I screamed hoping she’d hear me. She nodded and continued walking to the far end of the gym where the music wasn’t so loud.
I found the perfect spot on the dance floor and began dancing as best as I could. It was hard to move around in my tuxedo and Amber noticed. She laughed at the way I danced and didn’t want to dance after I asked her.
“Enjoy yourself!” I screamed insisting on her to dance. The music went on and a few songs later, Amber was dancing. Her hands were in the air and her eyes closed. I moved closer to her and tried to feel the music just like her. Dancing was exhausting. I pulled my sleeves up and continued dancing trying not to sweat. We danced to all the songs the DJ played. The music was changing constantly and I couldn’t wait for the slow songs where Amber and I would have to dance close together.
At around ten it was time for us to know who would be crowned homecoming queen and king. The couple that I always saw in the hallways kissing each other won. Our queen was one of the tallest senior girls and her boyfriend, Matt played quarterback on the school’s football team. The gym went wild when they were both crowned.
“Kiss, kiss!” everyone rumbled.
After the big loud kiss the dance floor was filled with couples. The slow songs had started and I was determined to dance with Amber. Nothing around me mattered, just her. Amber’s eyes looked at me when we began dancing. She was a little taller than usual making it much easier for me to kiss her, but for now all I wanted to do was dance. Dance and remember all the things I had done to be here with her. Ever since I met her I dreamed of having her this close to me. I remember seeing her enter the classroom with her beautiful smile and her pink freckles. We were just kids, and now I had her in front of me. Six years later here she was dancing side by side with me. I wanted this forever. I didn’t want to let her go.
Amber was tired after a while and danced barefoot a few songs. I could feel her strength beginning to fade, she was tired but she didn’t want me to know.
I felt her close to me. Soon she was on top of my shoes. I danced with her on top of me. Amber didn’t weigh much but after a few songs I was ready for her to come down. An impulse filled my body and soon I was leaning over to kiss her. This was the first time I made the first move to kiss her and it felt great. I kissed her much longer than she kissed me. I felt her smile, and I smiled back. Amber kissed me a second time before I asked her to go outside.
It was a warm night. We walked across the football field and stopped close to the twenty yard line. We danced to the rhythm of the song playing inside the gym. I looked up in the stars than down on Amber.
“You’re beautiful,” I said. I looked back at the stars and begged for that moment to last forever. “You’re the bravest girl I’ve known.”
I had so much to say to her but she didn’t want to hear it. I had to tell her how much I loved her, it was now or never. I couldn’t lose this opportunity. She placed her finger close to my mouth and asked me to be quiet without saying a word.
“You’ve been the kindest person I could have ever met, you’ve made me happy all these years and you’ve never asked for anything in return.”
I didn’t want her to continue, she was giving up on herself. I didn’t want this night to end. I was thinking what to say to forget everything that could possibly be going on in her head but then I heard her say what I least expected.
“I love you,” she said.
She looked at me straight in the eye with a confidence I had never seen in her. She loved me. I couldn’t believe it. It was the best feeling ever, I knew I loved but it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I really did.
“I love you too,” I said covered in tears.
I could hear Amber sobbing and I did the same, I wanted her to stay by my side longer. I raised my head and saw the stars. I kissed her for the last time and wiped her tears. We danced till midnight under the stars, everything seemed so in place, I found it hard to believe this was real.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Noah: Amber left us two weeks after homecoming. Just two weeks after completing her ‘bucket list’. Today is her funeral.
I stared down on my list knowing one thing on it wouldn’t be possible and that’s the one on the very bottom that says ‘Marry Amber’.
Mom helped me buy the clothes for today, but no one was able to help me emotionally. Mom and dad knew me best and, they knew it was best for me to cry it off alone. Emptiness began building up inside me and all I wanted to do was sleep. I slept the entire day of Amber’s death; I didn’t want to know anything. I’d known Amber for six years, but it seemed like a lifetime. She was my first love, and that would never change. I wiped my face for the tenth time and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes had black bags underneath them and I saw myself blurry. Dad drove us to the place where I would see Amber for the last time. Her sister Grace spotted us and called us to where they sat. Her mother cried next to her while her dad tried terribly to hold his tears. I wanted all of this to be over, I couldn’t cry anymore. My chest burned and my body felt weak.
Amber rested in front of us. Her casket was white and beautiful. It was an emotional ceremony and Grace I were the most affected. I hugged Amber’s picture and couldn’t let go. I saw a blonde girl sitting way out back crying more than anyone in the room. She looked devastated I moved closer to her thinking she could have been an old friend. She wasn’t. It was Skylar she hugged me and said how sorry she was. I couldn’t help noticing her wearing one of Amber’s favorite shirts.
“She gave this to me,” she said, wiping her tears.
“Her mom said it was one of her last requests, she gave me all her stuff,” she added. I hugged Skylar, and she hugged me back. “Sometimes life can be unfair. She was a great person and now she’s gone,” I said. Skylar was speechless I went back to mom and dad and cried in their arms. I felt childish, I cried without stopping for ten minutes straight. I saw dad cry for the first time in my life and that’s something I will never forget.
I lost contact with Mr. and Mrs. Sanders after the funeral. Grace was the only one I saw when she came to our house. She looked devastated. We rarely spoke about Amber, but when we did dad and Grace got emotional. But not me, I talked to her every day before
bed. I figured telling Amber about my day made me feel better. I imagined her giving me advice and me applying them to my life. I missed her; I missed her every day.
My life wasn’t the same without Amber. I think everyone who knew her wasn’t the same after she passed. Something was missing, something that I knew I couldn’t get back.
Three weeks had gone by when I received a phone call from Mrs. Sanders.
“How are you?” she asked. I thought about my answer for a few seconds, knowing that whatever I said wouldn’t be true.
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“I’m glad. I’m calling to see if you can come over today. There’s something we want to show you,” she said.
Mrs. Sanders sounded well and, it surprised me. Her voice seemed normal, feeling as mine had changed.
“Sure, I’ll be over around six,” I said.
“Great, see you here.”
My heart began beating faster as I walked closer to Amber’s. It was hard walking in and not seeing her. Mr. and Mrs. Sanders welcomed me in and asked me to sit down.
“Amber left all of us a little something,” said Mr. Sanders. I looked up at him not knowing what he meant.
“She left something for you too,” said Mrs. Sanders.
“We want you to have it,” said Mr. Sanders.
Mrs. Sanders pulled a cardboard star from behind the couch. It was colored in dark colors from one side and glittery white on the other. It had my name close to the bottom and a small heart next to it. My hands went cold and my mouth went dry. Mrs. Sanders handed it to me, and I was too afraid of dropping it. Once in my hands, I saw the cardboard star could be opened.
“Take it home, she’d want you to open it on your own,” said Mr. Sanders. I took the cardboard star from Mrs. Sander’s hands and walked carefully out.
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