Secret Love

by Tabatha Drake

  “What kind of jobs?”

  “Assassinations.”

  She shakes her head. “That’s ridiculous. People would know if something like that existed.”

  “You’d be surprised, actually.”

  “Then, how do you know about it?”

  It’s the question I’ve dreaded since I set foot in Los Angeles again. I knew I’d have to tell her about Snake Eyes, but I debated how much truth to include in that. No matter what I came up with, it meant lying to cover up a piece of the truth and now, looking into her perfect blue eyes, I know I can’t lie to her. Not about this.

  I reach for the top of my shirt and I flick the buttons free all the way down.

  Dani gasps and holds up a hand to block her view. “Fox, what are you—”

  I open my shirt and wait for her to look again. It only takes a moment for her curiosity to pique and her eyes fall on my chest.

  Her breath catches. She steps forward, drawn to me with bewilderment on her face, and reaches out to touch the black ink traveling up my abdomen. My entire body reacts to her touch, spiking several degrees in less than a second. Her fingertips glide up the cobra’s tail, starting at the bottom near my navel and curling upward until they reach its head tattooed between my pecks. She reacts to my scars, too.

  So many scars.

  “Because I used to be one of them,” I say.

  “Fox…” Her whisper buzzes the hairs on the back of my neck. “You…”

  I close my shirt and step back to lean against the waist-high dresser across from the bed. She sits down on the mattress, her little eyes flickering in the dim lamplight. The lull between us is loud, almost deafening, but her thoughts practically tumble out of her eyes. She’s obviously scared and confused.

  She has every right to be.

  I spot the mini-fridge on the floor near the dresser and reach down to yank it open. Several tiny bottles of alcohol line the bottom shelf. I grab two random ones and look back to see Dani holding out a hand. I smirk and grab two more to pass off to her.

  “Thanks,” she says.

  She twists the cap off one and swallows a large gulp of it without even looking at the label first. Her face contorts but she doesn’t hesitate to take a second sip.

  “So, you were a sniper?” she asks.

  I nod. “Trained in the army.”

  “Before you were discharged?”

  “I showed a talent for it pretty early on,” I say. “Infiltration, stealth, recon. Whenever they located a nest of possible enemy combatants, they sent me in first to gather intel. Gained a pretty good rep for it.” I open one of the bottles and take a swig. Vodka. Strong vodka. “That went on for about three years until my commanding officer called me in to tell me I’d been dismissed.”

  She squints. “But you’ve been gone for five years…”

  “They put me on a plane and dropped me off somewhere in France. No orders. No explanation. I sat down at some cafe in Paris and a few minutes later, this guy sat down with me.” I pause to take another shot of vodka that burns down my throat. “He said that he’d been watching me for a while, and he could use a man with my talents.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told him to piss off,” I answer. “But then he told me that he’s the one who had me discharged and it’s up to me whether or not my record says honorable or dishonorable.”

  “They can’t do that…” she says. “Can they?”

  “There’s not a whole lot Snake Eyes can’t do, Dani.”

  She looks down. “So, what did you do?”

  “The only thing I could do. I joined him.”

  “Why didn’t you just take the dishonorable discharge and come home?” she asks, desperation clouding her tone.

  “Because to him, dishonorable discharge meant two bullets through my eyes,” I explain. “I didn’t really feel like dying that day.”

  “What did honorable discharge mean then?”

  “Killed in action.”

  She nods softly but says nothing.

  I scratch an itch in my beard before continuing. “Then, he introduced himself. Mercer Black.”

  Dani finishes off her tiny bottle and her face twitches again. “That’s where you’ve been this whole time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does that mean you’ve…?”

  “Killed people?”

  She flinches. “Yes.”

  “Yes,” I answer.

  “Innocent people?” Her eyes swell up, dreading the answer she already knows.

  I twist the cap off another bottle and bring it to my nose. It smells fruity, like cheap wine. “I don’t know.”

  “What, like you didn’t ask?”

  “It wasn’t my job to ask questions.”

  She scoffs. “I never pegged you as a just following orders kind of guy, Fox.”

  “It was kill or be killed, Dani,” I whisper. “I don’t expect you to understand it.” I swallow a mouthful of crap wine, hating every drop of it. “It sure as hell wasn’t what I enlisted for, but they didn’t give me much choice. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

  “Why did you enlist?” she asks. “You could have stayed home.”

  “No, I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because—” I bite my inner cheek, curbing the rush of words just aching to fall off my tongue. I’ve never said them out loud before. I promised I never would, but… “Because Bennett told me to leave and never come back.”

  She blinks and the color drains from her face. “He… what? Why would he do that?”

  “Because he knows, Dani.”

  Her eyes wince with embarrassment. “He knows?” she asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Like…” She swallows hard. “He knows knows?”

  “Yes.”

  “How much does he know?”

  I shake my head. “I’m not sure, but… enough.”

  She recoils, her cheeks turning a bright, shameful red.

  “The next morning, after you left, he told me to get out,” I say. “Being a nineteen-year-old, C-average jock, I went to the one place I knew would take me.”

  “That’s why you left?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s why…” She pauses, the truth clouding her eyes. “That’s why you never said goodbye to me.”

  “I wanted to,” I say slowly. “But Bennett threatened my mother if I did. Said he’d put her on the street, destroy her reputation, she’d never work in this town again… you know the rest. I couldn’t do that to her, so… I left.”

  “Why would he do that to you?”

  “You were the next big thing,” I say. “He didn’t want a punk like me knocking you up and killing your career before it began. He was right about that.”

  She frowns. “No, he wasn’t.”

  “Beautiful movie stars don’t have illicit affairs with their stepbrothers, Dani. No, he was right.”

  “No.” She stands up off the bed. “He’s been wrong about everything.”

  “Dani…” I grow tense as she wanders the floor to stand in front of me. It’s not safe for her to be so close. “Wait…”

  “Fox, I am so sorry.”

  I furrow my brow. “For what?”

  “I should have said something,” she says. “I could have done more to make you stay.”

  “You had no way of knowing what was going on, Dani.”

  “That just makes it worse!” she says. “I was so self-absorbed, I couldn’t see past my own reflection.”

  “I wouldn’t see it that way.”

  “What other way is there to see it? My father, he’s…” She shakes her head. “The worst part about it is that I can’t complain at all. I’m rich, famous, pretty. It’s all because of him — right down to my freakin’ genes.”

  I fight the urge to look at her chest heaving up and down. My shirt hangs low on her with buttons undone, revealing the top curve of her breasts. She’s so close to me, I could reach out right now an
d—

  I close my eyes. “You would never have gotten this far if I were in your life,” I say, fighting every urge in me. “Think of all the people you’ve inspired, all the lives you’ve changed. The world wouldn’t be the same without Roxie Roberts.”

  She groans. “And I hate that stage name.”

  A chuckle bounces in my throat. “Does anyone even call you Dani anymore?”

  “No one except you.” Her cheeks flush wild with pink spots. I bet Bennett doesn’t let her drink much.

  “I can call you Roxie if you want,” I offer.

  “No. I like the way you say my name.” She licks her lips. “Always have.”

  A few short inches of air sits between us. I can smell traces of her scent around me. That blissful apple spice aroma that always drove me crazy. Her wet, cherry lips shimmer in front of me as she presses them together.

  “You should do your hair,” I say as I lean away. “We need to hit the road.”

  Dani performs a quick step back and the pink fades from her cheeks. “Okay…” she mutters.

  Annoyance crosses her face, but she grabs the hair dye, scissors, and comb off the bed with a wave of her hand. I can’t stop myself from looking at the gentle curve of her ass within my boxer shorts as she charges for the bathroom. She performs a short spin to glance back at me before closing the door behind her.

  I fill my lungs with fresh air to rid myself of the apples lingering up my nose. My cock twitches with extreme disappointment but lays to rest against my thigh. Maybe her new hairstyle will work to my advantage. Her long, flowing hair has always been a turn-on for me.

  I fall down on the bed and cover my eyes to block out the light.

  Chapter 13

  Fox

  Then

  I open my locker and promptly shove my head inside. It’s a common between-classes ritual nowadays. Thank god junior year is almost over. Then, just one more year in this hellhole of a school.

  “Hey, Fox.”

  I raise my head and turn to find the girl lingering behind me. “Oh. Hey, Trudy,” I say.

  She giggles and bites her lip. “You look tired.”

  “Yeah.”

  I look into my locker for my Algebra II book. Or is it Spanish next?

  “Do you have plans for the weekend?” she asks. “‘Cuz I was thinking we could go see a movie on Friday… and not watch it.”

  I breathe a laugh and glance at her over my shoulder. Before I can answer with a definitive yes, please, something bolts through my peripheral vision. Something short, blonde, and… crying?

  Dani Roberts zigzags around people in the hall and rushes straight for the ladies’ room with tears in her eyes, some already streaming down her face.

  “Um…” I pause, suddenly forgetting everything Trudy just said as my curiosity takes hold. “What?”

  Trudy raises a brow. “I said, I was thinking that we could—”

  Dani throws open the bathroom door and runs into a few girls coming out. They instantly burst out laughing and make a few mock-sobbing gestures as Dani disappears inside. I definitely wasn’t seeing things.

  Something is wrong with Little Miss Perfect.

  “Fox. Hello?”

  I glare at Trudy. “I don’t know,” I say.

  “You don’t know?”

  “Yeah, I’ve gotta run.”

  I close my locker and step around her sagging jaw to follow Dani’s trail. I don’t bother checking for witnesses before yanking the door open and walking straight into the ladies’ bathroom. The constant hum of teens walking and talking fades off as the door closes, leaving nothing but a soft sniffling noise coming from the center stall.

  I walk down the line to check the other stalls. All empty.

  “Hey, Dani,” I say.

  She gasps. “Fox?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “What are you doing in here?!” she asks. “This is the girls’ room!”

  “Apparently, it’s the crying room. What’s up?”

  “Nothing. Go away!”

  I hop up to sit on the counter and wait in silence for several seconds.

  “Are you still here?” she finally asks.

  “Nope,” I say.

  “Fox, get out!”

  “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Why do you even care?!”

  I hesitate. Why do I even care?

  “It’s more interesting than Algebra,” I say.

  Dani scoffs. “Fox, please. Just…”

  She goes quiet.

  I impatiently hop down and enter the adjacent stall, quickly stepping up onto the toilet seat to peek over the top into hers. She looks up and gasps with annoyance at the intrusion as she wipes her eyes.

  “Fox.”

  “Dani.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  “Maybe,” I answer with a shrug.

  “Anybody could just walk in here and see you doing that.”

  “All the more reason for you to come out and talk to me.”

  She looks at her hands in her lap. “It’s stupid,” she says, shaking her head.

  “Can’t possibly be as stupid as Algebra,” I say.

  Dani deflates and grabs her backpack by her feet. As she stands up, I drop off the seat and walk out to meet her. She steps out with her bag slumped over one shoulder, her eyes red and swollen.

  “I just found out that my dad is pulling me out of school,” she says.

  I raise a brow. “Why?”

  She sniffs. “Because I’m going to be on location for the next four months.”

  “You got the part?”

  “Yeah, I got the part.”

  “So… why are you crying in a bathroom?” I ask. “I thought you wanted that part.”

  “I did. I do. But I don’t want to miss school,” she says.

  “Why not?” I scoff. “I’d kill for a four-month paid vacation from Belle Academy.”

  “Well, I like it here. I like my teachers. I like my classes and…” She looks down again. “I told you it was stupid.”

  “Why don’t you just tell Bennett you don’t want to go?”

  She chuckles. “Yeah, sure. You tell the great Bennett Roberts his daughter is turning down the opportunity of a lifetime.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  I start toward the door, but she grabs my jacket sleeve to hold me back.

  “That was a joke,” she says.

  “I would, though,” I say.

  “I know.”

  “You should, too.”

  She exhales and releases my sleeve.

  I pause. “Dani, why do you let him control you like this?”

  “I don’t know,” she says after a moment. “Who wouldn’t want their dad to make them rich and famous?”

  “Well, what do you really want?” I ask. “To be rich and famous? Or to have a normal high school experience?”

  Dani doesn’t answer but it’s written all over her face. She doesn’t want the constant pressure of auditions. She doesn’t want stage names and on-set tutors.

  But she doesn’t know how to break free.

  Luckily for her, that’s my specialty.

  I bob my chin at the windows along the wall. “Come on,” I say. “We’re getting out of here.”

  “Getting out of here?” she repeats.

  “Yeah, what do you want to do? I was thinking of hitting the pier, but I’m flexible.”

  She blinks twice. “It’s twelve-thirty.”

  “So?”

  “So, we have classes until three.”

  “Right.” I nod. “We’re skipping them.”

  Her jaw drops in horror as I pull the window lock free. “I can’t skip class!” she says.

  “Have you ever done it before?”

  “No!”

  I slide the window open. “Then, how do you know you can’t?”

  She tries not to laugh. “Fox, no.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s wrong.”

  “It’s
a normal high school experience,” I say. “That’s what you really want, right?”

  She shifts on her toes. She bites her lip. She silently considers the pros and cons of coloring outside the lines for once. I honestly enjoy watching her struggle a little bit. To still be this sweet and innocent at sixteen in the heart of Hollywood…

  I step over the windowsill, easily putting my feet on the grass outside. When I turn back for her, her face isn’t quite as pure white as it was a moment ago.

  Just one more push…

  “Come on.” I smirk. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Dani doesn’t move. She looks from me to the window to the door, her feet firmly planted in place.

  I step back from the window. “Okay, then—”

  “Wait.” She juts forward, the last of her resistance rolling off her shoulders. “Okay,” she says.

  “Okay?”

  She nods. “Yeah. I’m in. I’ll… I’ll go with you.”

  “That’s my girl,” I say as I extend a hand to her. “Let’s go have some fun.”

  Chapter 14

  Dani

  Now

  I stare at my new hairstyle in the mirror. Damp and black, strands clawing downward to cup my face. I blot it with a towel to sop up the remaining extra dye, completely staining the off-white motel towels.

  I’ve never gone black before. I’m not sure if I like it. I have naturally pale skin and this color just makes all my flaws stand out like a damn sore thumb. And I fucking hate it when it’s this short. Might as well just kill me right now, Mercer.

  I turn away from the mirror and toss the empty dye box in the trash can.

  “Fox?” I step out into the motel room. He’s lying on the bed with his arm draped across his eyes. His chest rises and falls. “Fox?” I walk over to him and shake his shoulder.

  His arm jerks and he grabs my neck.

  “Fox!”

  He squeezes, hard. Fingers dig into my throat, too strong for me to pry off. I gasp and wheeze as I scratch at his wrist.

  “F—ox.”

  His eyes open. Fear, anger, pain — you name it, it crosses them. I tremble in terror as he recognizes me and releases me from his strong grip.