The Brody Bunch Collection: Bad Boy Romance

by Sienna Valentine

  I took a deep breath. It was like trying to get air underwater. “It was a misunderstanding…”

  Beth closed her eyes. “God…” My stomach plummeted to my feet. The look on her face… it was like her heart was breaking. The second I saw it, mine began to break too. “You just… can’t stop, can you? You can’t stop keeping things from us. You always did that, even back at the village. The year before you left, you had almost completely shut me and Sarah out.”

  She might as well have slapped me across my face. She was talking about the year my abuse started. She was talking about all the shameful things I’d endured, the ones I’d never been able to tell anyone except our mother about. And all this time, she thought I was hiding something else. She thought I was keeping secrets for the fun of it, closing her out of my life because I wanted to. I turned away from her, dizzy with the revelation, and Beth grabbed my arm hard, yanking me back to face her.

  “No!” she shouted at me in English. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to run away from me again!”

  I shook my head at her, pleading with my eyes. “You don’t understand. I’m not—”

  Beth let me go, practically shoving me away from her. “Stop treating me like a child, Hannah! I’m a woman now! In the eyes of the church, and in the eyes of God!” So, she’d slept with Wyatt. And she thought that made her an adult now. Some bitter tendril climbed up my ribs, compelling me to spit at her that letting a guy fuck you doesn’t make you anything other than fucked, but I kept quiet. Now was not the time for my spite. Not when I’d hurt Beth so very badly. “Tell me the truth. I deserve it. I deserve to know what made my sister cry, what she almost got us kidnapped for!”

  “She was going to tell you about the bet!” I snapped at her, fists clenched, tears veiling my eyes. Beth stopped immediately and for a moment, silence overwhelmed us. I knew I couldn’t leave it there, though, and at breakneck pace, I began to confess.

  “I knew, if you came here to see me, you would be in danger. I didn’t know for sure that Father would send men after you, but I suspected it in my heart. And I knew the English world would be so foreign to you and Sarah. I knew you’d need protection from the worst elements of it. And… and I knew that you might need a reason to stay with me, when Rumspringa was over.” My chest felt tight. I took a shallow breath and finished, “So I… I told Ash I needed his help. I needed him and his brothers to look after you. And then I pushed you and Sarah into Wyatt’s and Reid’s arms, and I’m sorry, because I didn’t know Ash had made a stupid bet with them to convince them to help.”

  Beth was trembling just as badly as I was. There was a darkness behind her eyes that told me she knew the answer to the next question she asked, even though she couldn’t stop herself from asking it. “What was the bet about?”

  I covered my mouth to stifle a sob. “Please… don’t make me say it.”

  “Hannah…” she whispered. “Please. I have to know.”

  I closed my eyes. I couldn’t bear to look at her as I said the words I knew would shatter her whole world. “It was about yours and Sarah’s virginity, Beth. They made a bet about which one of them would get to bed one of us first.”

  I felt, rather than saw, Beth look away from me. Her stare had been so hot, so palpable, that when she turned it on Wyatt I felt the air around me cool. I opened my eyes again and looked in his direction. He shifted his weight, his lips parted, but before he could speak Beth had made up her mind that she wasn’t going to let him.

  “Goddamn you,” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Goddamn all of you.”

  And then she took off in the direction of my apartment. I didn’t even try to go after her. I knew there was no point. She was hurt, and angry, and I’d betrayed her. I was relieved when Wyatt passed me and murmured, “I’ll go.”

  “Thank you,” I said. But it didn’t make anything better.

  Ash was looking at me. I regarded him coolly, daring him to come at me again like he had a few moments before—to blame me for all of this when it was him and his asinine bet that had ruined everything for everyone. But the look in his eyes was softer now, and I could see clearly what a mess he really was. His knuckles were all open wounds, his lip had been split right down the middle, and there was a bruise on his cheek that rivaled the one Reid has sustained to his jaw the night of the carnival.

  I softened a little too, then, realizing how far he’d gone for us. For me.

  Ash approached, sparing a glance over his shoulder at where my father’s men had once stood. They were gone now—they must have limped off as Beth and I argued—and this seemed to grant him as much relief as it did me. But before either of us could say anything, Reid and Sarah were exiting the trees. And they were holding hands.

  Sarah glanced around, obviously looking for Beth and Wyatt. “What’s going on?” she asked me.

  I said nothing for a moment, just regarding how tightly Sarah held Reid’s hand. Her grip was strong while his was comforting. Gentle. I allowed myself the very briefest of smiles. At least they had made it out okay—so far. I just wished I could say the same for me and Ash… and for Wyatt and Beth.

  “The guys dragged their leader off,” I told her, “and Beth and Wyatt are in the apartment, I think. She’s… she’s upset, Sarah. We all are.” I closed my eyes again, taking a deep breath to calm my palpitating heart. “We’re all shaken up.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Reid said. When I opened my eyes again, I saw him squeeze Sarah’s hand. “And that’s why I think I should take Sarah back to my apartment for a while. If those assholes come back, splitting up will make you and your sisters harder to find.”

  I sighed. “To be honest with you both… I don’t think they’ll be back.” Sarah looked at me expectantly, and I avoided her gaze, instead focusing on chewing the inside of my cheek. “I know those guys,” I admitted. “Sort of. They were sent by our father, Sarah. They were meant to bring you and Beth home. That asshole leading the charge was the same dickhead Father sent after me when I ran away from home. I barely got away. Guess he brought friends this time.” I shook my head and studied the clouds—anything not to have to look yet another sister in the eye as they realized I’d been withholding information from them all this time. Vital information.

  “They always think it’ll be so easy,” I murmured, recalling how deftly I’d evaded them during my own Rumspringa. “But now they know it’s not, and the last thing Father needs is to draw attention to his little community. I’m pretty sure that’s the last we’ll see of them. And the last we’ll hear of Father, too.”

  “Wait—Father sent them?” Sarah whispered. “How does he even know men like that? They weren’t Amish, were they?” I looked at her then, though she cut me off before I could provide her with any answers. “Wh-why would he have sent them to grab us? And… and does this mean we can’t go home again? Answer me, sister. Please!”

  “I can’t,” I said solemnly. “Not right now, okay? But I promise, Sarah, someday—soon, I hope—I’ll explain everything to you. Why those men were here. What they had to do with Father. Why I can never go home.” I glanced at Ash and saw nothing in his eyes but empathy. It gave me the strength to continue on. “Just… not today. Okay? Today, you just need to trust me. Even if I don’t deserve it.” Again, for what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past few days, my eyes were filling with tears. “There’s nothing I have done in my whole life that hasn’t been about protecting you, and that’s not about to change now.”

  As if he’d been holding back the urge this entire time, Ash wrapped his arms around my shoulders, drawing me close and kissing my hair. I pressed my face to his chest for a minute, wiping my eyes on his dirty, bloodstained shirt. It felt like I was losing my family all over again. The second time hurt so much worse.

  “You should go with Reid, anyway,” Ash said, locking his arms around me and refusing to let go. “Just in case. We’ll go talk to Beth and make sure she’s okay. For now, let’s play it safe and
make sure that if those assholes do come back, we don’t make it easy for them. Sound good?”

  Reid nodded. He looked at Sarah. “You on board, darlin’?”

  After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded at him. “I’m in. Let’s go.”

  And though I wanted to lay into Reid something fierce for what he’d done to her earlier today, I found I no longer had the strength to. Maybe it was no longer my business, either. Their argument was over. Sarah had obviously forgiven him his flaws. I might have to, as well. After all, if today had taught me anything, it was that none of us were anywhere near perfect.

  I handed Sarah the keys to my car. “Go get your stuff,” I said, and added nothing more. For her part, she only nodded and did as she was told. When she and Reid were out of earshot, I looked up at Ash and said, “It was my job to protect them. And I feel like I failed.”

  “It was my job to protect you, and I feel the same way,” he said, cupping my face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I never even asked…”

  “Am I okay?” I laughed, but it was not a happy sound. “No. I’m really not. I tried so hard to be the big sister they deserved, to be the one who saved them from what I went through, but… I just made everything worse. For them. For your brothers. For you.”

  Ash frowned at me, hard. “You did not make my life worse. Okay? You understand me, Hannah? For all that’s happened, and whatever happens next… I’m happy I met you. I’m happy I agreed to watch out for you and your sisters. And I’m happy I fucked you silly in that bathroom stall.”

  I didn’t want to smile. I didn’t even think I was capable, just then. But he said it so earnestly, so genuinely, that I couldn’t help it. What a confession…

  Ash smiled too, though his was a little sadder than mine. “But if you wanna protect them right, love… you know what you have to do.”

  And just like that, my smile faded. Even though he was right, it was still the last thing I wanted to think about right now.

  But I couldn’t put it off forever. I owed it to my sisters to do the right thing—to put myself through yet another hell on their behalf. That’s what you do for family. That’s what you do for the people you love.

  “Yeah,” I said, hiding my face in Ash’s shirt once again. “Yeah, I do.”

  22

  Ash

  If there was anyplace I’d seen enough of for one lifetime, it was the Bright Falls police station.

  Some of it was my fault. And some of it was my father’s. And some of it, more recently, was Wyatt’s. But now I was here for a different reason—not because I was starting trouble, but because I was trying to put an end to it.

  And trying to be there for Hannah.

  I didn’t envy her position. Not one bit. I knew there was only a slim chance she’d get a fair shake in all this. I knew those detectives would play Twenty Questions with her for however long it took to either trip her up, or for them to decide she wasn’t lying and then maybe, maybe do something about it. That was how this shit worked. Victim or villain, going to the cops always resulted in a long and uncomfortable interrogation.

  Damn. How long had she been in there? I glanced at the clock. Going on over an hour now. I scrubbed my face with my hands and instantly regretted it. My bruises flared under my touch and I growled, leaning back in the exceedingly uncomfortable chair I’d been relegated to ever since my pacing had drawn a little too much attention from police officers wanting to know where I’d gotten my busted lip and knuckles from.

  Shit. This whole place was one huge reminder that I was still a suspicious person, in the eyes of the law. Maybe even in the eyes of Bright Falls in general. The more I sat here, worrying about Hannah and my own reputation, the more the walls seemed to be closing in.

  My eyes darted to the clock again, even though I knew virtually no time had passed. If things went the way I thought they would, Hannah wouldn’t be out for a while. I stood up and wiped my clammy palms on my jeans. Fuck it. I couldn’t do this anymore. I needed some fresh air.

  I stepped outside through the automatic doors, taking a big gulp of the first cool breeze that came wafting by. There was nothing quite like feeling judged to make me wanna bail—just jump on the back of my motorcycle and head off into the night. But I couldn’t do that now, and not just because I’d left my bike back at Hannah’s apartment. It was because I wanted to be here for her through this. I wanted to plant my feet and stay. And I wanted her to see that I could do that, that I was capable of being more than just a good lay. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I wanted a woman to look at me and see more than just the mask I wore to fool the rest of the world.

  Hannah really had changed me. Or maybe she’d just made me more of who I was to begin with—who I actually was. Either way, I owed her. There was no way I was backing out on her now, when she needed me the most.

  I was just moving to sit on the curb when I happened to glance out into the parking lot and see a familiar figure headed toward me beneath the glow of a streetlamp. I squinted, sure I was seeing things—some kind of nightmare mirage, maybe—but no. I was right. After everything that had happened today, it seemed like life had one last kick in the nuts for me.

  I waited for her to get close to me before I called out to her. “The hell are you doin’ here, Tanya?”

  She’d been digging in her purse for something. She hadn’t even seen me. My voice took her off guard and she screeched to a halt in her high heels, mouth open, brow furrowed. We hadn’t spoken hardly two words to one another since the last time she called, and that certainly hadn’t turned out to be what I’d consider a civil conversation. I had no idea how to treat her, whether or not we were still even friends—or if I wanted to be. So I did what I was good at. I stared her down.

  “I’m here to bail out a friend,” she said slowly, coming a little closer to where I sat. “What’re you doing here? Jesus, you look a mess…”

  I touched the worst of my bruises—the one across my cheek. “Seen better days,” I admitted with a shrug. “But at least I’m not here to post money on account of some deadbeat boyfriend. I mean, I’m just guessing here, but I kinda assumed that’s what ‘bailing out a friend’ was code for.”

  Tanya tightened her lips into a thin, red line. Then she started to walk past me, toward the precinct doors. “Like that’s any of your business. You don’t give a shit, remember?” And then, lower, probably thinking I couldn’t hear her, she added, “Maybe if you did, I wouldn’t be dating this asshole.”

  I turned to snark at her over my shoulder, but then her words caught up to me and I stopped. Shit. Tanya really had no idea how good a woman she was. How good a woman she could be, anyway, when she wasn’t letting some guy twist her all up in knots—including me.

  “Hey,” I said, and she stopped again, looking back at me. Taking a deep breath, I told her, “I’m sorry. That was rude.”

  She eyed me warily. Glanced at the doors, then back at me. “…thank you.”

  I stood up, wincing as my muscles protested. I hadn’t fought like that in a long damn time—maybe not ever—and it was occurring to me now that maybe I should’ve stretched first. “I’m sorry, too, that things didn’t… y’know, that they didn’t work out. Maybe before you couldn’t hear me because I’d just hurt you. I know what pain can do to a person. How it can make them deaf, dumb, and blind in the ways only a broken heart can. So I’ll say it again now. It wasn’t you, Tanya. It was me.” I stopped a couple feet away from her. “I just wasn’t ready for a relationship. You were great, though.”

  “But you’re ready for one with her,” Tanya said softly. “With Hannah.”

  I smiled as much as my cut lip would allow. “I just met the right person. You will too. It probably ain’t the guy you’re here to pick up, though.”

  She shook her head, but I was sure I saw the faintest glimmer of a smile. “Probably not. I just…” A helpless shrug. “I don’t do well on my own. You know?”

  “Shit, honey,” I laughed, “yo
u’re preaching to the choir. C’mon, I hop beds more than most guys my age hop bars.” I looked down into her face and once again saw the hurt there. More gently, I added, “I know it’s not easy. And I made it so much harder for you. I should’ve cut things off when I knew you wanted more, Tanya. I should’ve ended it then, but I didn’t, and I just ended up hurting you so much worse.”

  She looked away again and her shoulders slumped. At the risk of sending the wrong signal, I reached over and touched her chin, turning her face back to meet my gaze. “It would’ve been better that way,” I said, “and you know it.”

  It took her a moment to agree. But eventually, with a sigh, she did. “Yeah. I think maybe it would’ve been. We both got in over our heads, and now…”

  She trailed off, and I knew what she’d left unspoken. I knew the kind of damage we’d both done had ruined any chance of us maintaining our friendship. That hurt way more than I’d expected it to. Tanya and I were close before we started fucking, and I knew I was going to miss the hell out of her now. Made me wish I’d kept my distance, or at least kept it in my pants.

  Tanya was walking away from me again when I called out, “Hey. You deserve to be loved, Tanya. You really, truly do. And you know what else? Whoever that guy is waiting for you in there… I say leave him. You can do better.”

  The doors opened in front of her, but she didn’t go through just yet. She was looking at me, lips parted, eyes a little misty under the sickly outdoor lights. She didn’t come any closer, but she didn’t turn away, either. She fidgeted with her purse strap for a little while, like she couldn’t figure out what to say back to me, and I let out a soft breath of disappointment. We’d always been able to talk to each other about the big things. But now we were no better than strangers.

  “Thank you,” Tanya said at last. The openness of her face told me she meant it. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear from you, Ash. Just that… I mattered. It means a lot.”