All Fore Revenge

by Piper Denna

  “Don’t you have kids?” I teased. “I bet you never have to watch them, as long as you schedule the visits with in-laws and ex-in-laws right.”

  “Yeah, at least I’m not shipping mine off to some summer prep school, like you.”

  We laughed and hugged, and she came inside for a drink.

  “My kids are at swimming lessons. I have an hour. Tell me what you wrote this week,” she demanded, “ignoring my calls. Might give a lesser woman a complex to be rejected like that.” It felt like her mention of rejection after our discussion Monday was no accident, but I couldn’t be sure.

  I pretended not to notice, telling her I’d spent the week nursing a depressed psyche.

  “Only the rich,” she quipped. “If I tried to lay in bed all day, the dishes would end up piled to the ceiling.”

  “Right! We both know you don’t do dishes. You’ve made poor little Alice do them since she was five.”

  We chuckled again, and then she blurted, “Ali. Please don’t go back to Arizona. Stay here this time.”

  “Whatever,” I joked.

  She didn’t smile.

  “What do you mean, like ‘don’t go back” forever?”

  “Divorce him and stay here?” She sounded so desperate, but I was annoyed by having yet another needy person to worry about.

  “What about the boys? I can’t just drag them away from Bill, and I won’t leave them.”

  “You guys make enough money, the kids could fly down there every weekend if they wanted.”

  “Shurre. I haven’t got that far in my plans, but the kids have friends there. Teams, lives. I kinda have a life, myself.” I thought of Cam, my golf league, the PTA. Cam again.

  “I better go get my kids and leave you to your life.”

  All Fore Revenge

  Chapter 10

  I met Cam and Emily at McDonald’s, and it took everything I had not to run into his arms for a hug. Instead, I stored every detail of his warm, dimpled greeting in my mind.

  “Hi Emily, it’s nice to meet you,” I said, after Cam introduced me as his “friend, Ali.”

  “I’m very pleased to meet you, too.” Emily grinned and pumped my hand. She had Cam’s dimples, and a mass of wavy blonde hair that was monstrously tangled from driving with the window down.

  We went inside for an ice cream cone, while Emily told me all about their trip. She held my hand the entire time, making me wonder if her easy attachment was the reason Cam didn’t let her meet most of his girlfriends, or if she just craved female attention because her mother worked so much.

  Anytime I moved my eyes from Emily’s chattering face, I found Cam looking at me.

  “I’m so glad you guys came to visit. I have two sons, but they went to Florida with their dad for a few days. Would you like to stay in their room at my house?”

  “Does it smell like boys?” she asked solemnly.

  “Emily! Manners,” Cam reminded.

  “It’s okay. I know what she means. Boys do smell,” I laughed. “No. I sprayed pretty flowery air freshener all over it this morning when I changed the sheets for you and your dad.”

  “Okay then,” she said. “I like you. Can we make pancakes in the morning?”

  “Sure. We need to stop and get some groceries first. What’s your favorite thing for dinner?”

  “I didn’t intend for you to cook for us,” Cam said. “I planned to get a hotel room, and take you out to dinner.”

  “No way. I’ve got a whole empty house you guys can stay in, and this way we can see each other more. Besides, who would I make pancakes with in the morning?”

  “Please, Daddy?” Emily asked. She worked those dimples and the whole puppy-eyes thing very well.

  *

  “Great house,” Cam said in my driveway.

  “Yeah?” I answered. “It’s starting to give me lots of trouble, but it has too much sentimental value to let it leave the family.”

  “Nothing wrong here that a little TLC can’t fix.” His fingers skimmed the log exterior, then the frame of the wooden screen door. “Wow.”

  “Grandpa built it,” I explained, setting bags of groceries on Formica so old it was worn plain white in places. “Dad did some renovating, so it’s right up to date with the seventies. I’ve been changing a little each summer, but it’s still a long way from modern. Important thing is, it’s quiet so I can work.”

  “What’s your work?” Emily asked as she haphazardly dumped groceries from bags onto the counter.

  “Ali writes stories, Em,” Cam answered.

  “Like fairy tales?” she asked.

  He nodded. “For grown-ups.”

  “That’s good,” she said. “Grown-ups need fairy tales. They don’t believe in any of the good stuff.”

  I thought of the murdered husband in my current work and smiled.

  “Some of us believe and have to convince the others,” Cam said, pointedly looking at me.

  “Don’t worry, Daddy. Every prince has a princess somewhere.”

  I wondered if the kings in fairy tales ever took up with scullery maids on the side.

  “You know, Emily, there’s a horse in my field, under that tree. Do you like horses?”

  She raced to the window and looked out.

  “Is he yours?” she gasped, enraptured.

  “She was mine when I was a little girl. She’s pretty old, and she doesn’t run like the wind anymore, but if it’s okay with your dad I’ll put the saddle on her and let you ride. Have you ever ridden before?”

  “Mom took me to a dude ranch last summer and we rode every day! I was the best kid rider there!”

  While we walked out to the pasture, I held Emily’s hand in one of mine and the bridle in my other, and told her how my sister and I had won barrel-races on Butter.

  “Butter,” she laughed. “What a silly name! Do your sons ride on her?”

  “Well, sometimes. Mostly my nieces come over and ride her, while I’m in Arizona. Boys don’t like horses as much as girls do, you know? And,” I whispered in her ear, “I think Butter likes girls better than she likes boys.”

  Emily giggled with me.

  She was a natural on horseback, so Cam let her ride off through the pasture where we could see her the entire time. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and yanked me into the tack shed out of sight. He lifted me against him and we kissed. His sweet-tasting tongue greeted mine, and I felt my pulse quicken with more than simple arousal. I closed my eyes to savor it.

  “I love when you do that,” he murmured.

  “Hmm?”

  “You close your eyes when we kiss. I like to imagine that’s how you look when you sleep.” The idea of him looking at me while I slept warmed my insides, though I knew it was wrong.

  “I’m so happy you came. I didn’t know how much I’d missed you, ‘til you said you were coming.”

  “Ali. I wanted to wait to tell you, but I can’t. If I died tomorrow, I’d want you to know…”

  Oh, God. He sounded so serious. So emotional. “Cam, I don’t think you should…”

  “But I’m going to anyway. I love you, Ali. I’ve known it since…”

  “Cam…”

  “I know you can’t return my affection, but I needed you to know. Not in a moment of passion, but from my heart. I love you.”

  Hearing the words was sweet, but the moment should have been euphoric, instead of guilt-inspiring. There was guilt for making him love me, guilt over being married to Bill and knowing in my heart that I already loved someone else more than I did him. It made me angry such a moment was ruined.

  “That’s great, you know?” My voice dripped with sarcasm. “I heard those same words from my husband just this morning. I’m a very lucky woman.”

  If I’d slapped him, I doubt Cam’s face would have jerked away quicker. I wanted to keep yelling at Cam, tell him he had no right to say those words yet. A long arsenal of rotten things to say lined up in my mind, ready to fire off. But the hurt on Cam’s face stopped me
.

  “Shit. I’m sorry, Cam. I hate that I can’t let myself love you yet. I hate it, but it wasn’t fair to tell you that.” I palmed his cheek, waiting for him to face me again, and hoping to see forgiveness in his eyes.

  “Did you return his feelings?” His eyes were glossy, reflecting more light than they should in the dim shed.

  “No,” I said softly. “I couldn’t.”

  His eyes came back to mine. He swallowed hard, then asked, “Did you let him make love to you?”

  “No.” I could say no more about that.

  He nodded then, as if reassured, and pulled me to him. We stood like that, with his chin resting in my hair, until Emily and Butter came trotting back.

  *

  I was startled awake by a hand on my cheek.

  “Shhh,” warned Emily. “Can I come in with you? Daddy snores.”

  The evidence of her allegation rumbled clear across the house, so I scooted over and let her in.

  “Thanks, Ali. You’re nice.”

  “It’s okay. Does he always snore like that?”

  “Yes. At home my room is all the way down the hall, but I can hear him. I wake up easy. Mom says that’s good because, when I have babies, I’ll be able to wake up and take care of ‘em. She couldn’t ever hear me crying, so Daddy always took care of me. He wakes up easy, too. I hear him lots, tiptoeing down the hall to look in my room and hear me breathe.”

  “Your daddy loves you a lot, Emily.” I yawned, predicting Miss Emily wasn’t planning to go back to sleep anytime soon.

  “He loves you, too.”

  “Um,” I choked, “why do you think that?”

  “I heard him sayin’ your name in his sleep.”

  I gulped in the dark, hoping he didn’t say much more. “And he whistled the whole way driving here. He whistles lots since he knows you. Will you marry him?”

  Kids. “Well, I’m married to another man right now.”

  “Do you love my Daddy?”

  Oooh, that’s a toughie! “Well, that’s hard to answer.”

  “No it isn’t! I know everybody I love. Mom and Daddy and the Grannies and Grampas and my friends Becca and Makayla, and my auntie and uncle.”

  I searched for a way to answer. “Your dad and I are still getting to know each other, Em. And being married means you only love your husband or wife like that.”

  “You need to ‘let down your golden hair,’” she answered simply.

  “What?”

  “You know, like in Rapunzel. That’s what the prince said to Rapunzel, and she gave him her hair so he could come up and they could be together and kiss. Good love is always hard to get, like in fairy tales. There’s always a witch or a spell, but if it’s true love, you’ll win in the end.”

  Yeah, but look what a younger woman can do to true love. “Real life doesn’t always have happy endings the way fairy tales do, honey.”

  “Sure it does, you just don’t always think so. Anyway, Daddy’s been lonely for too long, and Mom says he’s in love with you and there’s no way you’ll get away.”

  “Oh! Your Mom said that?”

  “Yeah, sometimes I wake up and Daddy’s talkin’ to her on the phone and he tells her stuff. Mom knows Daddy real good. So, will you marry him? ‘Cause I’d like you for a step-mom.”

  “I can tell you’ll be a lawyer one day like your parents. You just keep arguing and coming back to the same point.”

  “Persistence pays, Daddy always says. So will you?”

  “One day, if I get unmarried…”

  “Divorced,” she corrected.

  “Yes. Divorced. If I am, one day, and your Daddy wants me to, then we’ll see. I think we’d better get to sleep so we can ride bikes tomorrow. You’ll like the place we’re going.”

  “Can we bring a picnic?”

  “Only if you go to sleep right away.”

  “Okay. I love you, Ali.”

  “I love you, too, Em.” And damned if I didn’t love her dad, wrong or right.

  *

  “Well, isn’t this sweet?” Shurre trilled in my bedroom door. “Do you have another kid I don’t know about, or do the rich folks swap now? ‘I’ll trade you two boys for a girl for a weekend?’”

  Emily woke next to me, her eyes wide in confusion.

  Cam appeared behind her, shirtless and buttoning his shorts, looking about as bewildered as Emily by Shurre’s early-morning invasion.

  “Cam, Emily, meet my former friend Shurre.” It had to be the only time in history that she hadn’t made a huge ruckus when she arrived. “Jesus. Ever hear of calling first?”

  Shurre took her time checking out Cam, who had the grace to redden, before they shook hands.

  “Em?” Cam asked, “what are you doing in here?”

  Shurre’s brows raised in question also. I could tell she’d have expected to find him in my bed, but not his daughter.

  “She’s fine,” I told him. “You snore like a champ and it woke her up.” Emily smiled gratefully up at me. “Cam and Emily came out to visit and ride Glenwood Canyon. We’re going there today.”

  “Well,” Shurre snorted, “I guess you won’t need to take a walk with me.” She turned on her heel and headed for the door.

  “Hold on!” I called after her. She kept going, but I caught her on the front porch. “What’s wrong? You could’ve called, you know.”

  “Excuse me for trying to be a friend and keep you company in your time of need. What the hell are you doing, Ali? You’re gonna fall for him, having him here like this, sleeping with his kid, for God’s sake! Busy day for you yesterday, huh? One guy and kids out, and a different one in. You’re running a regular Lazy Susan for Families around here.”

  “Who are you to judge me? I’m not doing anything wrong!”

  “Yeah, what would I know about what’s good for you? I’ve only known you for fucking ever…”

  “Watch your mouth! Emily might hear.”

  “Oh! Now I’m a bad influence on the kid of the guy you bang with her in the house when your husband takes your kids out of town. I see.”

  I shook my head to make sense of her rambling. “I’m not banging him, Shurre. He’s only here for a visit.”

  “A visit with no sex? You must be crazy to think I’d believe that,” she spat. “It’s always about the sex, isn’t it?” she said, stepping closer.

  “Shut up, Shurre. Stay away from me.” I retreated.

  She followed.

  Cam came to the door. “Em’s showering. Is everything okay out here?”

  “It’s fine,” I said.

  “No, it’s not fine,” Shurre interrupted, and turned on him. “You can’t show up here, fucking with her head when she’s trying to end her marriage! What kind of predator are you?”

  That was a good one. Who got their friend drunk and lured her into having sex, to keep her from getting married and moving away? Was that not the mother of all predators?

  “Just go, Shurre. Get out of here. Why do you want to ruin this for me? Why?” I’d started crying without noticing.

  “Oh, it would probably turn him on to know all about your history. I just wonder why you’re so freaky about it. A girl with a history, she’s got a little mystery,” she chanted. “Ain’t that right, Cable Guy? She may be a bad girl, but she’s not ready to move into another relationship, so lay off. Got it?”

  “That’s enough,” Cam’s eyes narrowed, and he took a step toward her. “What Ali and I do is our business, not yours. I’m not the one fucking with her head.”

  “Yeah, well, I guess we can’t all be heroes like you!” Shurre called over her shoulder on the way to her truck. With a vengeful spray of gravel and a high middle finger, she was gone.

  “Some friend,” Cam said to me.

  “Usually the best.” I shook my head. “I think she’s crazy jealous of you.”

  “Sounds like for more reasons than one,” he said, with one brow raised.

  “Maybe she needs Prozac.” I hoped he’d let Shu
rre’s comments go, but his eyes said he wouldn’t. “Maybe she’s on Prozac. Or maybe she quit it suddenly.”

  He was still looking at me the same way.

  “Okay. I know she opened a can of worms. I’ll tell you all about it. Another time. But for now, you need to know that your daughter wakes at the drop of a pin, and hears what you say on the phone to your ex. And she proposed to me last night, repeatedly.”

  “Proposed?” he laughed.

  Good, changing the subject worked.

  “Yeah. She’s relentless about it.”

  “I’m sorry. Did she upset you? I’ll make sure she knows she can’t go bed-hopping tonight.”

  “Cam. It’s okay. I was touched that she wanted to sleep with me. It takes a lot of trust to go cuddle with somebody. Especially somebody with the potential to steal some of your favorite guy’s attention.”

  “Did you ever accept? The proposal?”

  “I think she finally wore me down to a maybe. Bartered it in trade for sleep.”

  “Good girl I’ve got.”

  *

  It was a perfect day for riding in Glenwood Canyon. The concrete trail used by bikers, skaters, and runners ran mostly between the Colorado river and the I-70, at times directly under the elevated highway, always near the water.

  Still swollen with spring run-off, the raging Colorado roared loudly enough to smother the vehicle noise from above, while providing the clean smell which only comes from air rushing off frigid water.

  The trail ran eighteen miles, but we didn’t make it that far. Emily tired quickly, so we lunched at the freeway rest area, then made our mostly downhill return. Keeping up with Cam on my own bike was work, but I did manage to pass him a couple of times, when I took his wind by getting him laughing at some joke or story. He’d always let me lead ‘til I tired and swung back to ride near Emily and keep her company.

  Cam was loading the bikes in his truck when my phone rang. It was Bill’s cell.