All Fore Revenge

by Piper Denna

  “Unfuckable,” I laughed. But he had a point. Conquests. “Great. Of all the cable guys, I have to get involved with the twenty-first century Freud.”

  “I love you, Ali. Don’t forget that. But you have a lot happening right now. You and me, that’s gonna be perfect when it happens for real,” he promised. Then he kissed me, and I was glad I’d brushed my teeth. “Get some rest, okay? You’re looking pale, and I want you perky again before I leave tomorrow.”

  *

  Cam’s foresight in sleeping in separate beds proved invaluable when headlights beamed through the front windows an hour later. I was still groggy and stumbling out to the living room when Bill came to the door.

  “Hi,” Bill mumbled. He looked surprised and pleased to see Cam on the couch instead of in bed with me. “Mom threw me out. All the hotels are booked full, so I brought the boys back. I guess I’ll head to Grand Junction for the night. Hopefully there’ll be a room there.”

  “Bill. You can stay here.” He looked in confusion at the couch, so I added, “Sleep with one of the boys in the spare room.”

  Either because he wanted to get in the way of Cam’s plan to “get in my pants again,” or because he was too exhausted to argue, he agreed.

  He waved the boys in from the car. “Mom was off her fucking rocker. Everybody on the Mesa has seen the news coverage. She wouldn’t shut up, even in front of the boys. They know all of it, Al.” Bill’s head hung in shame. “She was so pissed and ashamed of me, and then Will told her about Brianna…”

  It obviously hurt him considerably to have fallen from his lofty position in his mother’s eyes. Well, what did he expect? Sympathy?

  The boys came in silently, glaring at their father. Things were every bit as horrible as I’d feared they could be, from first discovering his affair.

  I offered to let Will sleep with me, since Andy was still glaring back and forth between Cam and I. It was all I could do to keep from crying.

  *

  In my dark room, Will lay stiff beside me while we heard Andy and Bill arguing in low voices. “Andy hates Dad now, instead of you,” he told me.

  “Nobody needs to hate anybody. Andy’s just upset.”

  “Didn’t you even care that he was blaming you, when it was all Dad’s fault?”

  “I didn’t want anybody blamed, Will.”

  “Well, I blame Dad.”

  “It’s between Dad and I, honey. And he loves you very much. You’re lucky.” Andy slammed the other bedroom door, then the bathroom door.

  “Your dad left you, huh?” My son’s voice was soft with pity and maybe fear of having the same experience.

  “Yeah. But yours won’t.” I’m gonna make sure of that. “I love you, Will.”

  “I love you too, Mom. I’m sorry for saying good things about Brianna. She’s a slut.”

  “Don’t worry about it, honey. And I don’t like you saying that word.”

  “It’s what she is. So’s Dad.”

  “Will,” I warned. “Goodnight, honey.”

  I heard Andy stumble into the kitchen, then the whack of the back screen door. The hammock creaked. I rose and tugged the folded throw from the bottom of my bed.

  For a quick moment, I stopped and let Cam squeeze my hand on the way past the couch.

  *

  Standing at the back door, I could hear Andy’s sniffles as he cried and swung the hammock with his foot.

  I crept out and stood nearby. “Hey bud,” I said softly.

  “Go away,” he muttered, tears in his voice.

  “If you want me to, I will. But I brought you a blanket. It gets cold out here by morning.” I tucked the blanket around him, wiped his face with the backs of my fingers.

  “Geez, Mom. Everything’s gonna change.”

  “I know, honey. I know how much you hate for things to change. I tried to keep it from happening…”

  “You knew a long time ago,” he accused.

  “Yeah.”

  His hand reached up and clung to mine.

  I seized the moment, climbed in the hammock beside him and pulled his face against my chest. “I love you, Andyman.”

  “I know. Sorry I called you a loser. Dad’s the loser.”

  “He’s not a loser, honey, he’s just…” horny, a sex addict, a pig, “… human. He got lonely, I guess, all those nights alone on the road.”

  “He coulda just spanked his monkey, like Will does with his picture of Beyonce.”

  “Oh. That’s…” too much information for a mom.

  “Sick. I know, it’s sick beating off, huh?”

  “No, it’s not sick, honey. It’s natural.”

  “You think? Do you do it?” Ooh, that’s a toughie!

  “Um. Well, I guess everybody does it.”

  “Yuck, Mom. I don’t wanta think about you doing that. You’re my Mom.”

  “I know. Be careful what you ask, if you don’t want the answer,” I chuckled against his hair. “But don’t let anybody tell you it’s wrong, honey. It’s not wrong unless it makes somebody feel bad. Okay?”

  He sounded hopeful when he suggested, “Maybe you and Dad could just stay married and have sex with other people.”

  “Well, some people do that. It’s not the way I want to be married, though. Usually when you love somebody, you don’t want to have sex with other people.”

  “Do you wanta have sex with CJ?”

  “Careful what you ask,” I reminded him.

  “Never mind. Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “I didn’t mean it when I said I wanta live with Dad.”

  “I know, baby. Let’s get some sleep.” I hung in the hammock and held my youngest son until morning. At least out there I only dozed and didn’t dream. No dreams meant no bullying from Shurre.

  All Fore Revenge

  Chapter 19

  The boys rode to the airport with their dad, and I followed with Cam to pick up my van. It looked like an uncomfortable flight for Bill and Cam back to Phoenix. First Class wasn’t exactly separated from Coach in the small plane they’d be taking.

  I know Will and Andy must have noticed when Cam pulled me around a corner to kiss me long and passionately. It left me weak-kneed and short of breath.

  “See why I knew better than to sleep next to you all night?” he murmured in my ear.

  A breathless nod was the only response I could manage.

  “You take care, okay? I think Em and I will come visit again next weekend, alright? No pressure, but I do love you.” One more kiss with that sweet tongue of his probing deep, my hips pushing against his, and he let me go.

  Bill’s ears were red and he wouldn’t look at me when we stepped back into sight.

  *

  Will and Andy lasted one day with me before they couldn’t take the boredom any longer. They moped around, watching TV and bickering, and finally asked to go hang at Kerri’s. I relented, hoping maybe I’d get some writing done, and definitely catch up on the sleep I seemed to need so badly.

  Kerri seemed relieved to see I was alright when I left the boys around noon. She wanted to talk, but I didn’t. I smiled and begged off with an excuse about a deadline and my editor, and disappeared before she could tell me I needed to call Mom. There were some things I wasn’t ready to face yet.

  The first thing I did when I got back to the quiet farmhouse was close the blinds and fall into a catatonic sleep. Without the aid of drugs, I think I came as close to a coma as possible. It was morning again when I woke and went for a run.

  Shurre was waiting for me at the house when I returned. “Hey sunshine!” she chirped.

  “Hey. You’re talking to me again, huh?” I was wary; she was so unpredictable lately.

  “You don’t think a little tiff is gonna come between us after all we’ve been through, do ya? I brought you somethin’.” She handed me a DVD. “It’s the news coverage of you dissing Bill.”

  “You recorded it?” Horrified, I handed it back.

  “Dear, it’s my in
spiration.”

  “Well, maybe you should keep it since you enjoy it so much.” Personally, if I never heard the words, “Golfer gives ice, gets iced” or “Smyth all flash by day, all flasher by night” again, it was fine.

  “Oh, I have copies. Believe me. Someday you’ll appreciate it. So what’s your big plan now, kiddo? Gonna run off and shack up with the first guy that comes along? Oh, wait. He already came along.” She rolled her eyes. “I think you should avoid that guy like the plague, A.”

  “Why?”

  “Any guy who’d move in on you when you’re destroyed like that…”

  “Shurre. He didn’t move in on anybody. The guy wouldn’t sleep in the same room with me.” I suddenly felt very shaky. “Hold on. I need to go drink some juice or something. Running on low blood sugar’s not such a great plan, I guess.”

  She followed me inside, where I poured and drank from a glass of OJ.

  “He didn’t screw you?” she asked, when I was sitting with my head between my knees.

  I made a muffled, “No,” against my right leg.

  “Oh.” She actually sounded disappointed.

  “What now?” I asked.

  “He’s really got it bad for ya.”

  “Yeah, I think so.” I raised my head then, and drank more juice. “I think it’s mutual.”

  “Nooo,” she whined. “Don’t hook up with another guy in Flamingbirdcity. Please? I need you here.”

  “For what? You don’t want my help.” I looked up at her, silently begging her to ask for my help. Anything I could do for her, I would.

  She tapped her nails impatiently on the table and stared me down, then said, “Fine. I’m going to work now. Have a nice day relaxing, or whatever you do.”

  *

  Flopped corpse-style across my bed, I wondered what the hell I could do to help Shurre.

  “Hey,” I smiled into my phone when Cam called.

  “Miss me yet?”

  “Yeah.” I did, so much.

  “Feelin’ better? I called last night, but you were so sleepy on the phone, I’m not sure you even woke up to talk.”

  “I was pretty beat. I’m fine this morning.” But I didn’t remember his call at all.

  “No more tossing your cookies?”

  “Sweetie, don’t worry. I’m fine. As long as I don’t have any more world-shattering news, I’ll hold my meals down.”

  “I told Erin what you wanted in your proposal. She got a kick out of it, even though you’re not the first wife to ask for that in a divorce.”

  “No?”

  “She thinks it might get more press coverage if it ends up filed with the court. She’s working on putting the vasectomy on a separate, confidential agreement. She’ll have them ready for me to bring Friday. You still want company?”

  “Yeah. Emily, too, right? Maybe we’ll introduce her to the boys.”

  “Okay. Check your e-mail, sleepyhead. Love you.”

  Before I could reply, he hung up.

  If he hadn’t been in such a hurry, I would have answered that I loved him, too.

  I yawned and powered up my neglected laptop, then read his message.

  Ali,

  I can’t believe how tired you are. I hope you’re not sleeping because you’re depressed. I know how much it hurts, remember? Please talk to me if you feel so low that you can’t get out of bed. I want you to get better, but I don’t want you to rush it at your own expense.

  I have a confession: I never did sleep with Randi. I didn’t even date her, except that first night when we rode off from the group together. I didn’t want her, because I knew she’d be no substitute. (Ain’t nothin’ like the real thang, baby!) That first girl, before you confronted Bill, I did have sex with. And it was terrible, because I kept thinking of you. I finally admitted I was in love with another girl and broke it off. Keeping up the stories about Randi was my way of gauging if you cared about me. An underhanded trick, I know. Don’t be mad at me for lying. I plead self-defense.

  Thought you might like to know, there’s trouble with the cable at your residence in Phoenix. Somebody (???) signed on the network and disabled the high def boxes. And then that somebody cancelled the service appointment scheduled for today. I heard the customer was livid. He’s home sick and has no Golf Channel to watch. Ahh, Karma. Sometimes it just needs a little push in the right direction.

  I love you.

  Camden

  It felt so good lying there, thinking of him, I let myself nap. Cam was too crazy about me to sleep with the lumberjack. Life was good.

  *

  “Not a damn thing to eat in this house,” I muttered two hours later, scowling into my disturbingly empty fridge.

  A trip to the grocery store was in order. During a stop by the bank on the way, I was unable to avoid Robert, who was going out the door as I was going in.

  “How was your lunch with Shurre?” he asked coldly.

  “Um.” Lunch with me? Why’d she tell him that?

  “Tough break about the husband. Maybe if you’d been with him, he wouldn’t have been out dicking around.”

  “Nice, Rob. Such a gentleman.” Especially since Shurre had already told him Bill was cheating before I left Phoenix. And in only two weeks, I’d figured out his wife had a serious problem he’d barely noticed. Dick.

  *

  At the supermarket, Shurre was just getting back from lunch. I confronted her while she tied her apron around her waist near a pallet of frozen foods. “Why’d you tell Robert you were lunching with me?”

  Her face got red, and it wasn’t from the cold air around the freezers. “I had an errand.” She wouldn’t look at me.

  “Shurre. Did you go to Ronnie’s? I thought you were avoiding his calls,” I whispered. I felt like shaking her.

  “Shut up, Ali. Mind your own.”

  “I am. Your husband thinks I’m Satan’s spawn. Why? He hates me. Did you tell him I hit you?”

  “No. I told him we were wasted and I ran into the doorknob.”

  “Not the doorknob story. Who believes that?”

  “Robert, when he thinks you’re a party animal.”

  “Nice. It’s a good thing I’m not looking at a custody battle over my kids, or he could seriously screw up my world. Thanks.”

  “Yeah, your problems are vast and many, my friend.”

  I stalked away without another word.

  *

  I couldn’t wait to eat, so I hit the drive-through on my way home. Mmm. quarter-pounder with cheese and big fries. God, I was starving. I’d scarfed it all before making it back to the house. After stashing the produce and cold items in the fridge, another nap sounded good.

  “Hey, are you sleeping again?” Cam laughed into the phone.

  “Um? Yeah.”

  “Did you read my e-mail? Are you depressed?”

  “No. Just the laziest woman alive. God, it feels good to sleep, though. I can’t believe you invented a girlfriend to make me jealous, you goof.” I stretched and yawned, noting that it was nearly dark out. “So, did Bill ever get cable again?”

  “I think they got the receivers changed out. Want me to crash ‘em again?”

  “Nah, not for a couple days. He’s usually off Mondays. Do it then,” I joked.

  “Shurre been around?” That was more than curiosity. He was anxious.

  “This morning when I got back from my run. Her hubby gave me shit about her spending her lunch hour with me, which she didn’t, so I cornered her at work. She’s been to Ronnie’s again, I know it. I don’t understand why, Cam.”

  “He’s her uncle. Maybe she feels connected to him in a healthy way, too. You said he’s sick. Cancer, right? Is she keeping up appearances with obligatory visits?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Just remember, if she comes around, she’s not stronger than you. Okay? Show her who’s boss. I hate seeing you weak. That’s not who you are to me.”

  “Who am I to you?”

  He laughed low in his thr
oat. “You’re the vixen who gave me rug burns. Repeatedly.”

  “Were they worth it?”

  “Yeah, so were the raw patches you wore on my cock that first week, ‘til I got used to your crazy appetite.”

  “My appetite, huh? I seem to remember you meeting me thrust for thrust.”

  “I wish you were here to meet me now.” His voice had changed, gone deeper.

  “If you could touch me now, you’d feel how wet I am, from remembering. I miss you inside me. Close your eyes and think of it.” I slipped my shorts off and lay on my side.

  “Are you touching yourself?” he asked.

  “Mmm-hmm.” My breath got faster when I curled around my hand. He groaned. “You?”

  “Yeah.” He was moving, and his breath was as fast as mine.

  “Cam? Remember that last day in the pool? Where you touched me?” My index and middle finger felt so right, sliding along the sides of my clitoris.

  A strangled, “Yes” told me he did, and it excited him. His breathing sounded like it hurt.

  “Will you… do that again?” It drove me wild, thinking of it. I heard him choke and groan. It sent me over the edge.

  “Oh, Jesus, Ali. Jesus.” More rustling as he cleaned up.

  “Where’s your daughter?”

  “She’s staying over at Erin’s tonight, since she’ll be with me for the weekend.”

  “Oh. Wanta do it again?” We both laughed, until an engine and “Sweet Child o’ Mine” in the driveway interrupted. “Shit. It’s Shurre. I gotta go.”

  “Call me when she leaves, Ali. Okay? No matter what happens, call me. Promise.”

  “I promise. Thanks.”

  I hurried to dress before she came in, but only had my shorts halfway up by the time she tore into my room, calling my name.

  “Well, well. Now I know what you do all day,” she giggled. “Want company?”