Captive of a Fairytale Barbarian

by Elizabeth Gannon

  The creature wrenched back again, letting out a cry of furious agony. One of its long necks writhed impotently in the air, now decapitated. The monster was obviously in pain, but it didn’t seem to be out of this fight yet.

  “The body!” Tandy screamed from the other side of the clearing. “Kill the body!”

  Tzadok didn’t need to be told twice, racing forward again. The beast struck with one of its heads, smashing into him, and all Tzadok could do was hold on. It carried him high into the air, trying to shake him loose and make him plummet back down to the stones, far below.

  But Tzadok held strong, ignoring the pain from the monster’s abrasive and blisteringly hot scales. He plunged a dagger into the creature’s head, using it as a handhold.

  The other head continued to fight Kobb, striking at him and then retreating from his axe.

  At the far end of the plaza, where the end of the snake’s tail was twitching in reptilian menace, a single horse leapt over it. The horseman showed a remarkable level of skill, somehow keeping the animal moving forward towards the colossal demon.

  The creature shook its head again, trying to knock Tzadok off, but he wasn’t going anywhere.

  As the horseman drew closer, Tzadok could see that it was actually Violet, who’d stolen a long Gallandish lance from somewhere.

  Kobb saw her coming, taking a step forward so that Gnag would strike at him again. The monster instantly sank its teeth into Kobb’s round shield, going straight through the metal this time. The action brought the monster’s head down to ground level though, and Kobb held onto the ruined shield, trying to hold the beast in place.

  The cavalrywoman charged forward on her horse, planting the iron lance deeply into the monster’s neck and out the other side.

  Gnag roared in pain, the sound echoing out from both of its mouths, before Kobb swung Jairo’s axe again, cutting cleanly through its thick neck and silencing the second head forever.

  The snake recognized that it was down to its last head, but even one gigantic set of fangs attached to an eighty-foot snake body was plenty monster enough to destroy this city and the Saltmen along with it.

  It flicked its head up, finally breaking Tzadok’s grip and sending him up and over. He plummeted towards the ground, the snake moving like a living liquid beneath him, trying to open up its jaws and swallow him whole.

  Tzadok swung his hammer down, using the crushing blow to the monster’s head to slow himself down and alter the direction of his plummet, away from its fangs. Still falling, he hefted his weapon again, using the force of gravity to add to the striking power. He slammed into its body as his prize had suggested, planting the head of the hammer into the snake’s spine. The irresistible steel of the hammer opened up the creature’s skin and Tzadok plunged into the newly created hole, landing in its foul wet innards.

  Gnag fell to the ground, letting out weak death cries.

  Tzadok pulled himself from the blood and entrails, then stalked forward to stand atop the monster’s remaining head. He gritted his teeth, then let out a bellow of pure rage. He planted the weapon into the serpent’s brain and the snake-god went still.

  Fuck magic.

  Around him, everyone was staring in shock. The surviving Coastal People stood perfectly still, as if afraid to attract his attention.

  He looked out over the assembly, his body dripping with sweat and gore, his eyes filled with blood-hate power. “I stand. I rule. I am The Lord of Salt.” He pried his hammer from the serpent god’s head and gestured towards the assembly. “Challengers, step forward and be slain.”

  The Coastal People didn’t move.

  Tzadok’s voice lowered dangerously. “Drop. Your. Blades.”

  Every weapon in the plaza hit the stones, even Violet’s lance.

  Kobb whispered something to her and the girl bent down to retrieve it.

  “Good.” Tzadok told his countrymen. “I accept your surrender, cowards.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five:

  Mercenaries, Outcasts, and the Bones of Broken Men

  As far as Tandy could see, the last shreds of Gallandish society were falling down around them. People were running through the streets looting, attacking each other, or merely standing in place and screaming incoherently.

  The Coastal People were attacking the army, who in turn were attacking The Primacy, and both were attacking the citizens.

  No one had any idea what was going on or what had happened, all they knew was that their world was ending. Blind panic had seized them, turned into white-hot rage and terror, and was now being directed at everyone and everything in sight.

  The kingdom was eating itself.

  Honestly, she wasn’t surprised. Galland had always been a very tense place. Sooner or later, it was bound to explode. She just didn’t think it would be quite so literal.

  The fire reached the powder store in one of the military buildings, setting it off in a deafening explosion. The entire street rocked from the blast, startling their horse.

  “Easy, easy!” Violet soothed the animal, trying to keep it from tipping their stolen wagon. “Caaaaaalm…” She tried again. “It’s okay, girl… Everything’s okay…”

  You could say a lot of things about the woman, but she was good with animals. The horse somehow calmed down, ignoring the flames and crowds of people entirely.

  Tandy looked around at the once familiar street as it fell down around her. She found that she wouldn’t miss it at all.

  She’d never really liked this city.

  She wrapped the blanket around herself tighter, since she was still in her underwear.

  “Thank you again for coming for me.” She told Tzadok softly, putting her hand on his knee. “I knew you would.”

  “Oh, sure.” He scoffed. “We complain about the barbarian and his savage ways, but when the ‘civilized’ sinister demon cult resurrects their ancient three-headed serpent god and sets it loose on you, it’s “Oh, Tzadok! Come save me! And bring your hammer!’”

  She snorted at the joke.

  Ryle shielded his face from the heat of the flames as their wagon went by another burning building. “” He asked her again. <”Because you could tell me if I was. I just want to know.>”

  She rolled her eyes. “” She assured him.

  “” He stood up, preparing to hop out of the cart as they went past a street corner, just to test.

  “Sit down.” Tzadok growled out. “You’re not leaving the cart, idiot.”

  Ryle looked at Tandy for a translation.

  “”

  “” Ryle began. “” He made a face, sulking. “”

  She ignored his whining, and grabbed Violet’s arm. “Right.” She ordered.

  The woman turned to look at her in astonishment. “The road home is straight. Right is going to go towards the coast.”

  “I know.” She nodded. “I need to go right.”

  Violet looked at Kobb for a ruling.

  The man shrugged. “I guess we’re going right.”

  Violet made a soft clicking sound with her tongue, urging the animal down the new street as chaos continued to erupt around them.

  Kobb put his arm around his wife, pulling her closer.

  Someone tried to hoist himself into the cart beside them, probably to commandeer the vehicle, but Tzadok decked him, knocking him back to the ground.

  Several people ran by with torches, rushing away from something.

  “We have about twenty minutes to flee this accursed city or we’re never getting out.” Tzadok warned.

  “I doubt they’ll be sorry to see us leave, Nephew.” Kobb added.

  “At least until they get the mangled flesh and splattered brains off the stones in the
park, anyway.” Violet smiled in amusement. “That was fun.” She rested her head on Kobb’s shoulder, looking utterly pleased and content with her life. “I love being married.”

  Kobb kissed Violet, holding her face in his hands.

  Ryle watched the scene and nodded. “” He absently watched the scenery go by. <”And where the fuck are you people taking me, anyway?”> Ryle wondered aloud. “” He took on the casual tone of a tour-guide. “

  A mob of people rushed towards the cart, seeing it as their chance to get out of the city.

  Tzadok stood up, holding his blood-dripping hammer in his hands. “Taken.” He warned.

  The men fled the scene in terror.

  Tzadok sat back down. “I dislike your countrymen.” He informed Tandy conversationally. “They have no spines.”

  “Well, you can’t exactly blame them for not wanting to fight you.” She countered. “You’re… well… you.”

  He considered that for a moment, then nodded, silently allowing the point.

  <”You didn’t kidnap those people.”> Ryle observed petulantly. <”Why do I have to come along?”>

  Tandy made a shushing sound at him, sick of his nonsense. There were worse things in life than spending time with Tzadok. He could really learn a lot.

  “” Ryle grumped, gesturing to the fact that he was still only wearing his underwear. “”

  Tzadok frowned at him. “What is the Cormoranian moaning about now?”

  Tandy waved her hand dismissively. “Just…” She trailed off, spotting their destination. “Right here, Violet.” She tapped on the woman’s shoulder to get her to stop the wagon. “This is where I need to go.”

  Tzadok looked up at the nondescript building in confusion. “What in Chox’s name?”

  Tandy hurried up the front stairs to the door, recognizing that they needed to leave as quickly as possible.

  Tzadok raced after her, weapon at the ready. “Where the hell are you going, Prize? Why are we here?”

  She ignored the question, stalking down the interior hallway and into the central room.

  To her surprise, her father was standing there though, looking terrified of the noise outside. He blinked at her in shock. “Tandy?” He asked, as if unsure if he was imagining her or not. “What are you…”

  “Daddy.” Tandy punched him as hard as she could, knocking the man out. And possibly breaking her hand in the process, but it was totally worth it.

  He hit the floor in a heap, blood spilling from his nose.

  Tzadok gave a chortle of glee. “That was fantastic!” He enthused. “I completely understand why you find my violent tendencies attractive now.” He nodded seriously. “That just jumped you two points on your sexiness scale. At least.”

  “I didn’t come here for that.” She kept walking. “But thank you.”

  Tzadok casually stepped on her father’s hand as he walked over the man, breaking his fingers. He pretended not to notice. “Why are we here then?”

  She reached the end of the hallway and turned to the left, prying the boards out of the way to reveal another door. She’d sealed it off to hide it from her father. She pushed it open, revealing a dozen large crates of rare books. “This.”

  Tzadok looked at the trove, obviously considering how long it would take to pack them and the dangers it placed them in. But he didn’t bother to object, recognizing how important it was to her. “I’ll have it all in the cart within seven minutes.” He promised, then spun on his heel. “UNCLE! Stop feeling up your girl and come help me with this! Tell that Cormoranian puke to come help too!”

  Tandy grabbed her diploma from off of one of the crates and started from the building.

  It actually took the men six minutes and eighteen seconds to carry the boxes of books to the wagon. Tandy timed them. It was a remarkable achievement, honestly. Especially since they’d just exerted themselves fighting a giant 3-headed snake god. Which was definitely a circumstance which would ordinarily excuse one from performing to the best of their ability moments later.

  Violet shook her head at the cargo. “Too much weight.” She informed them, sounding worried. “The horse can’t take it all.” She physically shoved Ryle from his seat, sending him down onto the street.

  “” Ryle squawked in astonishment, looking up at her. “”

  Tzadok and Kobb hopped out too, walking on either side of the wagon to lighten the load.

  Violet spurred the horse onward, following the road towards the river and then hopefully across the bridge towards the Wasteland.

  Several blocks before they reached the river though, Violet suddenly stopped the wagon again. Tandy looked at her in surprise.

  “What are we doing?” She craned her neck around the crates of precious books, trying to find out what was going on. “Things are getting worse, I really think we should hurry!”

  Violet ignored Tandy’s complaints and the crowds of manic screaming people around them. She hopped down onto the road, picked up a piece of broken wood, and casually tossed it through the window of one of the buildings. She disappeared inside a second later.

  Tandy looked at Kobb for an explanation.

  He shrugged helplessly and followed after Violet to see what was going on.

  The pair emerged a few moments later, holding hands.

  Tzadok looked down at the bag in Kobb’s other hand. “Are you fucking shopping!?!” He demanded. “You’d risk our lives to steal clothing!?!”

  Kobb let Tzadok look into the bag and said something to him in a low voice which Tandy couldn’t hear.

  Tzadok stared at the contents for a moment. “I completely understand and apologize, Uncle.” He said immediately, then spun on his heel to look at her. “Tandrea? Did you want to pick up anything too? While we’re here? Please?”

  She looked up at the sign over the store, which announced that it sold lingerie. “Um… I think we should just go.” She decided. “It’s not worth dying over.”

  “Then you’re doing it wrong.” Violet remarked, urging the horse on again.

  “ Ryle complained, walking gingerly in his bare feet along the street, trying to avoid the broken glass and smoldering rubble.

  “” Violet offered. “”

  He made a face at her. “”

  As they approached the river, Tandy could see that things were deteriorating even faster than she had anticipated. The city had gone from a frightened mob to a full-scale riot, and it was getting worse every minute.

  “Violet?” She asked the woman worriedly.

  “This is as fast as we go unless you want to kill the horse.” Violet told her flatly. “And frankly, I like the horse more than you.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not a joke.”

  Tzadok punched one of the rioters, knocking the man off his feet and sending him sprawling. “Your ‘civilized’ people are beginning to embrace the ways of the barbarian, Tandrea.” He grabbed another man by the back of his coat and physically threw him out of the way, through a nearby window. “Luckily, they are still small men, incapable of combat.”

  They rounded the next corner to find a full company of Galland soldiers marching towards them, killing everything in their path.

  Tzadok looked oddly relieved by the sight. “Praise Chox, actual men t
o slay…”

  “You are not going to go ‘slay’ anyone else, Tzadok.” Tandy warned him. “You are going to stay with this cart and we are going to leave this city. Now.”

  Tzadok made a sulking face, but he could apparently tell from her tone that she was in no mood to be trifled with.

  Violet steered the cart around the corner, trying to outrun the soldiers and beat them to the bridge. Unfortunately, when they reached it, they found that the wooden drawbridge was raised. The river thus blocked their path completely.

  “We could swim?” Kobb suggested, looking down at the dark water. “We don’t get much swimming experience at home, but it’s easy enough.”

  “I will not leave My Prize’s books.” Tzadok insisted. “And they are too heavy to carry.” He pointed at Kobb. “You will take the women across the river and I will safeguard her property until you can lower the bridge.”

  “Oh, like hell!” Tandy shook her head. “No, we’re all going! Forget the books!”

  “My word was given that I would protect the books.” Tzadok shook his head seriously. “I will not break my word.”

  “I’m giving you permission to break it, you’re going to, shut up.” She hopped down from the cart to approach the edge. The water didn’t look particularly inviting, nor did the drop into it, but it was still doable. “We’re swimming.”

  Ryle made an uncertain face as he looked down at the river as well. “”

  The Galland soldiers continued their approach, now easily visible from their location.

  “Whatever we’re doing, we better do it quick.” Violet warned, climbing down from the wagon. “We have five minutes. Tops.”

  Without warning, the bridge in front of them started to lower.