The Daddy Dilemma

by Tia Siren

  No matter who found us.

  “Come down behind me in ten minutes,” he choked out. He slowly slid out of me, and suddenly, I felt very empty. He gave me a kiss on my nose before he climbed out of bed, and for the first time since we’d started this little charade of ours, I felt unfulfilled. Used. He put his clothes back on and wandered down to the bathroom. When I saw him go down the stairs, I lay there and stared at the ceiling. I could feel him pouring out of me while tears rose to my eyes. It was at that very moment—alone in his childhood room—that I could admit to myself that I had more than just a crush on Kason.

  And he would never feel the same.

  “Damn it,” I whispered.

  I waited ten minutes and then rolled out of his bed quietly. I shuffled to the bathroom and cleaned myself up with some tissues. I rearranged my clothes and splashed some water on my face. Then I slowly made my way downstairs.

  “So, where did you two get off to?” Kason’s mom asked.

  “Kason wanted to talk about a few things with my internship and schedule since I’ve gotten signed up for classes,” I said.

  “Yeah, and I went ahead and called HR to give them her schedule so we didn’t schedule her during classes,” Kason added.

  “He also wanted to try to talk me into a paid internship.”

  “Hanna, you really should take him up on that offer,” my mother said.

  “I’m thinking about it. I just don’t feel right with him hiring Marcus and everything.”

  “I wouldn’t offer it to you if I didn’t think you deserved it,” Kason said.

  “And like I said,” I said to him, “I’ll think about it.”

  At that moment, Kason’s cell phone rang. He groaned and lobbed his head back before he picked it up. I could tell by the way he stormed out of the room that it was probably another business call. He said the name Brad and something about a prototype before he bounded up the steps, but he caught my eye just before he disappeared upstairs. Our mothers were back to gabbing and he winked at me knowingly, but all I could feel was a dangerous flutter in my chest.

  My emotions were raging out of control, and that wasn’t good.

  For anyone.

  Chapter 26

  Kason

  I heard my phone ringing and groaned as I rolled over. I looked at the clock and saw it was barely seven in the morning. I knew it could only be one person. The CFO of my company, Brad Holmstead, had been fucking up my existence for the past few days. When my phone started ringing yet again after I let it go to voicemail, I knew it was serious.

  “What, Brad?” I said as I answered.

  “We can’t get this prototype out. Because people are rushing, it’s not passing tests. It’s just not safe. We need you and your mind back here to figure out what the fuck is going on, Kason.”

  “Can I seriously not go out of town for a month without you torching the damn place?” I asked.

  “Like I said, not my fucking fault you left in the middle of a project.”

  “I’ll have your job,” I said.

  “No, you won’t. Please get back, Kason. We’re in hot water.”

  I knew the moment I hung up the phone that I’d have to go back. Things were falling apart and this was our biggest project in four years. We were revamping our basic security system to include our own 911 call and help center, and we were expanding the security branch of our division to include personal safety. We were the first tech software company to do it, and we were setting a precedence. The damn prototype was supposed to have been sent out to all the call centers in the San Francisco region four days ago, and we were still fucking testing.

  Damn it.

  I rolled out of bed and started jamming my shit into my suitcase. I picked up my phone and booked a flight back home. When I hopped in the shower, I turned the water to cold. I wouldn’t have time to get coffee, and I needed to be alert when I got back to town. It wouldn’t fucking help if I fell asleep on the damn plane. I shivered through my shower and thought about what I would tell my mother. Then it dawned on me that I’d be leaving Hanna.

  And the weird thing was that I didn’t want to.

  I got out and got dressed. When I made my way downstairs, my mother was just coming out of her bedroom. She looked at me with my suitcase in my hand, and the look on her face broke my heart.

  “Mom, I’m so sorry,” I said.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “A prototype that was supposed to be set out Monday is still being tested, and apparently I hold the magic key to making it work.”

  “Well, I’m sorry that’s happening, sweetie.”

  “What’s going on?” my father asked.

  “Kason has to go back early. Issues at work,” my mom said.

  “Ah, son. You sure you have to go back?”

  “I’ve been putting off my CFO for days. We’re now critical.” I sighed. “Dad, I’m really sorry.”

  “It’s all right. We’ll fly out soon to see you.”

  “I’ll pay for the tickets,” I said.

  I poured myself a cup of black coffee and chugged it despite how hot it was. I knew I needed to go next door and say good-bye to Hanna, but really, what I wanted to do was fuck her senseless one last time. The earliest flight out wasn’t for three hours yet, and I knew I could spare an hour and still get there on time. My private jet wouldn’t get here and back before a commercial flight could get me home, so I had to settle for economy and suck it up until I could land.

  “You guys pick a week—any week—and let me know. I’ll fly you guys out. You can stay with me, and I’ll take off work and treat you to all the sights San Fran has to offer.”

  “We know you will, sweetie.” My mom smiled. She always called me “sweetie” when she was secretly disappointed, and it ached my heart that I’d hurt her. I was going to fucking kill Brad when I got back, and someone was going to get fired the moment I walked through those doors.

  I just didn’t know who yet.

  “Let us know when you land?” my dad asked.

  “Always.”

  I went outside just as the cab I had called pulled up. I threw my suitcase in the back. I handed the driver a few bucks and told him to wait here. Then I walked over to Hanna’s place next door while I called Marcus.

  “Hey, Kason! We still on for tonight?” he asked.

  “Change of plans. I know you’re finishing up with some clients, but I’ve gotta get back into work.”

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  “I want you to post something on the blog as soon as you can,” I commanded.

  “Sure. Switching over now. What’s the subject?”

  “The title should be ‘Practice Makes Perfect,’ and here’s what I want you to put in it…”

  I talked him through everything that was going on with the product and he took notes. He asked a few questions like “when was it originally due?” and “what are the problems currently being experienced?” I felt like I was talking to a reporter who was on my side while I stood on Hanna’s doorstep. When I hung up with him, he told me he’d get to work. I wanted him to create a small and digestible post about how our company holds integrity and quality over deadlines, and then I wanted him to blast it all over our social media accounts. It would make us look good during the delays and would hold people off until I could get home and get this shit fixed.

  “I’ll miss ya man. I’ll fly out soon,” Marcus said.

  “You better with the money I’m paying you.”

  I hung up the phone and knocked on the door, and Hanna’s mom answered. She embraced me in a hug and tugged me into the house as I told her I couldn’t stay long.

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Work issues. I have to go back early. My plane leaves in an hour,” I said.

  “I’m so glad you got to come home, though I’m sure your parents are disappointed. Hanna’s in the shower if you want to say good-bye, but you’ll have to wait a few minutes. She just hopped in.�
��

  “Thanks.” I smiled at her.

  “We’re really gonna miss you. I know Marcus was looking forward to tonight.”

  “Well, he’ll be able to fly out soon to see me with the money I’m paying him.”

  “Thank you so much for what you’ve done for my kids. Really,” she said.

  “It’s not a problem. They’re very qualified individuals.”

  “Kason?” Lisa asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “If I tell you something, can you promise not to repeat it to anyone?”

  “Of course, Mrs. Rendon. Anything.”

  “I always hoped Hanna would end up with a man like you. With the way you two were growing so close, I honestly hoped that was what was taking place.”

  I stood rooted in place for a while and simply stared at her. At first, I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right, but when she disconnected her gaze and sighed, I knew I’d heard her just fine. I gave a little chuckle to let her know I had registered what she’d said, but I really didn’t know what else to say. Did I enjoy spending time with Hanna? Of course. Was she a great lay? Good god, yes. But a relationship? An actual, fruitful relationship with a woman who hadn’t graduated college, who was twelve years younger than me, and who wanted a child so badly she could taste it?

  Honestly? I wasn’t as deterred as I should’ve been.

  “Kason?”

  Hanna’s voice ripped me from my trance, and when I panned my gaze up to her, she looked absolutely gorgeous. She was in nothing but pajama pants, and a tank top but her hair was dripping wet and her skin was still flushed from the heat of her shower. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her close just so I could memorize the way she melded into me one last time, but I’d settle for a verbal good-bye while her mother was standing there.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Lisa said.

  “Is everything all right?” Hanna asked.

  “Hanna, there’s been some issues at work,” I began.

  “I know. You’ve been getting a lot of phone calls.”

  “And I have to go back.”

  Her face fell and my heart dropped to my toes. The happiness fell from her face and the light dimmed behind her eyes. All at once, I threw my arms around her and pulled her close. I kept murmuring how sorry I was into her hair and how I wished I could stay longer, but she seemed oddly rigid.

  “I’m really sorry, Hanna,” I said.

  Then an idea struck me.

  “If you’d like, and if you’ll agree to the pay, we could start your internship early,” I said.

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Yep. I can start you anytime. That was one of the many phone calls I made and took over the past few days. You’re in the system and we’ve secured your class schedule, so all you have to do is confirm the hourly pay.”

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “So you’ll let me pay you?”

  “Will it get me started earlier so I can see you?”

  I let her go and looked down, and her hopeful eyes stared back up at me. Was she taking this internship because she needed it? Or was she taking it because she wanted to see me?

  Did it honestly matter which one it was?

  I wasn’t really sure it did anymore. At least, not to me.

  “Yes.” I nodded. “It will.”

  “What’s the hourly pay?” she asked.

  “Fifteen an hour.”

  “That’s way too much,” she said.

  “Take it or leave it.”

  She stared up at me and deliberated for what felt like an eternity. The redness of her skin was fading back into that silky pale color I’d come to adore so much, and when she parted her lips to answer me, I couldn’t help myself. I looked down the hallway and all around us to make sure we were alone. Then I took her in my arms and kissed her furiously.

  I jammed my tongue between her lips and pulled her deep into my body. Then I curved her back and dipped her backward while my hands cloaked her back. Our teeth clattered and our bodies yearned for one another’s, and when I pulled back and looked her deep in her eyes, I saw an entire world behind them that I wanted to explore.

  “I’ll take it,” she whispered with a smile on her face.

  “My plane leaves in just shy of three hours, but when I get to work, I’ll have HR give you a call. They’ll confirm the pay, walk you through the W2 stuff, and then I’ll fly you out as soon as I can.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  Chapter 27

  Hanna

  I couldn’t get him off my mind. Kason left a couple of days ago, and while we might have texted a few times, he really wasn’t available all that much. I knew he was fighting things with work while I was dealing with his HR department, but I really missed him. I couldn’t get my mind off him, and every time I thought about him at night, I had to improvise when it came to my own pleasure. I missed his body and his voice. I missed the way he ran his fingertips through my hair after our orgasms. I missed the way he told me what to do in the throes of passion. I missed our conversations and our covert lunch dates. I missed the scandal of what we were doing and the stolen glances at the parties our parents threw.

  But mostly, I missed the way he talked to me. Like an equal whose passions and life aspirations were warranted, even though he might not agree with them.

  It was really bothering me to be away from him, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

  I tried masturbating in the shower and in the evenings whenever he was on my mind, but it only got me so far. I’d stopped taking my birth control pills because what the fuck kind of use were they were to me anymore? I wasn’t sleeping with anyone, and I had no passion to sleep with anyone. Kason was the only one I wanted, and he didn’t seem to have any issues using condoms if we needed protection.

  I couldn’t even look at my birth control pills without getting nauseous anymore.

  Tears rose to my eyes, and I knew I had to get out of the house. I had to get out and talk to someone because looking outside and seeing Kason’s house was crushing my soul. Every time I looked next door, I thought about all the memories we’d silently created in his room, and every time I went out back and saw the greenhouse, it reminded me of his sweating body, panting and writhing and working for my benefit.

  How did this train derail this badly?

  “Hey there, Hanna!” Stacey said. I had decided to call her up and talk to her about it. I needed the guidance of my best friend. I needed her to tell me I wasn’t crazy and that this would eventually blow over. I needed to tell her about the birth control slip and how I’d made myself sick swallowing all those pills that morning before letting Kason fuck me silent in his childhood bed while our moms were right outside. I needed her to tell me this would all blow over and I’d wake up one morning and be just fine. That I would move on and Kason would fade from my mind and I’d find someone my family approved of so I could have the family I always wanted without Marcus stalking me or us sneaking around.

  I was tired. I felt used. But mostly, I felt misled. I fooled myself into thinking I could do this on my own, and until Kason came home I really believed I could.

  And then he happened. Kason swooped in and changed my mind. Made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Held me close when I needed it and gave a platform to my voice that felt shaded by my brother and my father. I missed him in ways I couldn’t explain. I closed my eyes and saw his face. I took showers and felt his lips against my skin.

  For the first time since I’d set out to have a child, I found myself wanting not simply to have a child, but to have his child.

  His and his alone.

  But, of course, at the exact moment Stacey picked up the phone, my mom called from downstairs and said she needed me for something.

  “You free for dinner tonight?” I asked.

  “Sure. Same place?”

  “Always.”

  I hung up the phone and helped my mom around the house that day. Then I took a shower and got dres
sed for dinner. I told Mom and Dad not to wait up for me, and they told me to give Stacey their love. Then I raced across town with Kason still on my mind. If he were here, we’d be cruising with the windows down and he’d be holding my hand. He’d be making comments about having dessert elsewhere and jokes about parking his car in the woods. I’d secretly be squeezing my hips because he would be frustrating me so badly, and all the while I’d be looking over at his eyes.

  Those beautiful, mesmerizing eyes.

  Holy hell, what had this man done to me?

  “Hanna!”

  Stacey leapt from her chair and embraced me in a long hug. My mouth started to run away from me. I didn’t even sit down before it took off, and Stacey’s eyes grew wide with shock and awe.

  “I don’t understand why I can’t stop thinking about him. I mean, he only left a few days ago and I’ve been keeping myself occupied! I talked with his HR about taking the internship early, but he hasn’t contacted me about flying me out for it, and I’m not sure if I should text or call him about it or just wait for him to call me. Did you know we had plans tonight? Yeah. We’d made plans to hammer out the payment details of my internship to use as a cover for us going to dinner, and I was so disappointed when he just up and left early. I mean, what kind of fuck-ups does he employ that they can’t handle some prototype bullshit or whatever it is they’re doing?!”