The Goddess Gets Her Guy

by Ashlyn Chase

  From somewhere in the ether, Karma cackled.

  * * *

  Sitting in a trendy tavern in the middle of the day was so out of character for Aaron, he couldn’t remember doing it—ever. But here he was, nursing an imported Dutch beer and his ego.

  Aaron had gone to Boston’s best neurologist and had been handed the provisional diagnosis of ET. Essential tremors. It used to be called familial tremors because it was an inherited condition. Fortunately, it was fairly benign. He remembered his great-aunt shaking when she tried to do something that required fine motor skills.

  To say he had mixed feelings was an understatement. He had hoped his condition wasn’t something degenerative, like a form of Parkinson’s disease with initial symptoms that behaved a little differently. Ruling that out was a great relief. But with no cure for ET, his career as a surgeon was over.

  His leave of absence was not only a blessing but also a form of torture. Now he had nothing but time to ruminate over his life. His choices. His career. He’d never wanted to be anything but a doctor.

  There were other things he could do with his MD, but did he want to? He had been thinking about retirement at some point anyway. Whether forced on him or not, this was that point. He was trying to look at it in a positive light. The whole world and all its possibilities were opening to him. This was an opportunity. Right? Sure, his inner sarcasm answered. He had to wrestle his attitude back into something positive.

  He needed to make the necessary calls to arrange everything, like drawing on his savings until he could use his 401K, looking at whatever liquid assets he had, possibly talking to a Realtor about selling the large family home in Brookline… That brought up having a conversation with his daughters. He nearly groaned aloud.

  The bartender must have noticed. “Everything all right?”

  “Yeah. I’m just thinking about my options now that I’m an empty-nester. I hate the thought of downsizing, but living with just my cat in a big house doesn’t make sense.”

  “Ah. Yeah, I hate to move. All that packing, and of course nobody is willing to help. Unless—you said you had kids?”

  “Yes. Two daughters. Both of them are out of the house and living on their own, but they’ll certainly have feelings about selling the place where they grew up.” It was also a physical tie to their mother, who had died when they were children. “However, I raised two smart, practical young women, and I’m sure they’ll understand.”

  “You’ll figure it out,” the bartender said and left to check on his other customers.

  All of this roamed unchecked through Aaron’s head over and over until he finally picked up the phone and texted his daughters, asking for a conference call that evening. It sounded so clinical. But trying to keep his own emotions under control right now would help them all.

  * * *

  Fate met Gaia at her Boston location. Gaia had the entire top floor of a tall building on State Street, which was enclosed by a great glass bubble, making the space invisible to humans. She gazed out over the setting sun, which bathed the city in her orange and yellow hues.

  Fate scanned the questions before handing them to her sister. Oh boy, this is going to be a challenge. Still, it was the only idea she had at the moment.

  “What’s this?” Gaia asked. She snapped her fingers, and suddenly it was daylight again inside the bubble.

  “I’d love your input, considering you’re the one who will be choosing your mate. I usually do the choosing for others, but you’re different. I need to know exactly what you’re looking for, and answering these questions will help me find someone who’s looking for the same things.”

  “Different? Well, you’re not wrong, Sister. I appreciate your consulting me first. Yes, I will fill out your questionnaire.”

  Out of thin air, Gaia produced a stick of charcoal and quickly filled in all the spaces. She handed it back to Fate, who snatched it and said, “Thanks, darling. Toodles,” then disappeared quickly.

  Fate hung out in the ether, reading the answers to Gaia’s questionnaire before she shared it with the other goddesses.

  “Oh boy. Big mistake.”

  Reading the scribble to herself, she groaned aloud several times.

  Name: Gaia.

  Age: My exact millennia don’t matter. Age is just a very long number.

  Location: Wherever I want to be at the moment. Most of the time in Boston, where I can observe my seasons and some of my least stupid people.

  Relationship status: Single. Never married. It’s complicated.

  Kids: Billions.

  Want kids? Gods, no! I’m not crazy about the ones I have.

  Body type: Whatever I want it to be.

  Ethnicity: Same answer.

  Height: Depends on my mood. I can tower over anyone if I want to.

  Religion: Me.

  Politics: Ugh. I would never participate in that travesty.

  Are you a smoker? Only with the occasional volcanic eruption.

  Do you drink? Not until recently. I think I will take it up as a regular hobby.

  Do you have pets? Only the entire animal kingdom.

  Education: Live and learn.

  Employment: Ruler of all.

  Income? None. And I get no thanks either!

  Fate sighed deeply. “I guess it’s back to the drawing board.”

  * * *

  “I called you all here because I need your help.” Fate gazed at the puzzled faces of the modern muses. She had chosen a beautiful garden setting, hoping the pastel colors and floral scents would put everyone in a cheerful mood.

  Brandee, the muse of photography and videography, raised her hand. “May I ask why Gaia isn’t here?”

  “Well, er—yes. I am Mother Nature’s sister and acting in her stead. I know you’re used to taking your orders directly from her, but this must stay between us and the other goddesses. Trust me when I say it’s for her own good.”

  Bliss, the muse of online communication, narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “And what does that mean? I know she can be a pill, but she’s the boss. Going behind the boss’s back is usually a bad sign.”

  Fate nodded. “I understand, but let me explain the situation.” She took a deep breath, knowing this could go either way. Best to flatter them first… “Because you’re her trusted, talented, modern muses and this is a modern problem, I really can’t do this without you.”

  “Ha, I’m not only a muse—I’m a dragon queen. I know when me arse is bein’ kissed,” Chloe Arish, the muse of fire safety, said in her Irish lilt. “Get to the point, woman.”

  Fate marshaled her frustration and forced a smile. “Quite right. I need to find a mate for Gaia. She has already given me permission to find suitable candidates. As you can imagine, finding someone she can learn to love and respect is a tall order. I thought you might have some ideas.”

  The muses gazed at each other. Their wide eyes seemed to indicate surprise—or disbelief. Fate hoped it was the former.

  Misty, muse of modern parenting, raised her hand. “Don’t you still put soul mates in each other’s paths regularly?”

  “Well, yes, but this is different. Gaia has no soul mate. She has no equal. I can certainly arrange a meeting, but I was hoping you’d tell me where to find quality single men.”

  Kristine snorted, and a curl of smoke escaped from her nostrils. “Well, don’t look in bars.”

  Fate, remembering how Gaia took to alcohol, realized it might be the perfect place to arrange a meeting. She would be more relaxed and unable to use her supernatural talents in public—hopefully.

  “I think most of us would agree that firefighters are some of the nicest guys around,” Kristine offered.

  “Yes! They’re selfless heroes,” Bliss agreed.

  “O’ course you’d be thinkin’ that. We’re all married to firefighters,” Chlo
e said. “However, I was a firefighter, and let me enlighten you. Not all are ‘nice guys.’ One was downright disrespectful to me because I was a woman and he thought I couldn’t do the job properly.”

  “Until you proved yourself. I’m a firefighter too,” Kristine said. “In fact, I’m a captain. I know several of these brave men and women better than most.”

  Fate perked up. “And do you know of any who Gaia might be interested in? Someone without faults? Someone able to stand up to a supernatural mate who will always think she’s superior?”

  Kristine’s posture deflated. “Ah, no. I’m afraid not. All humans have faults.”

  “All paranormals have faults too,” Misty added.

  “Some more than others,” Kristine said and elbowed her.

  Misty rolled her eyes. “Yes, Gabe was a challenge, but totally worth it in the end. He’s the best husband and father anyone could ask for.”

  Fate wasn’t sure she was getting what she needed, but at least she had allies. “Thank you for coming. I know you’re all busy. Please keep our meeting in the back of your minds. If you think of someone who might be a good match for the goddess of all, I’m just a shout away.”

  Chloe snorted a curl of smoke, just as her fellow dragon Kristine had. “Sure, we’ll think on it, but don’t expect any shouts soon.”

  * * *

  Fate drummed her fingers on her antique desk. She’d learned one valuable lesson from the meeting with the modern muses. Her biggest challenge wasn’t to find someone without faults. It was to find someone whose faults didn’t clash with Gaia’s faults. What she usually did with soul mates was to find someone with strengths to fill in their partner’s weaknesses and hope they fit like a jigsaw puzzle.

  So all she had to do was list Gaia’s weaknesses and find someone with the opposite strengths. Right? Easy!

  A pencil and paper appeared on her desk. Taking a deep breath, she began to list her sister’s many faults.

  1. Impatience

  2. Knee-jerk reactions

  3. Sarcasm

  4. Disrespect

  5. Intimidation

  6. Empty threats

  “Oh my. Where am I going to find someone with an unlimited supply of patience, logic, ability to think things through, and a careful tongue, who respects and listens to others and acts with kindness?”

  She leaned over and pounded her head on the desk three times.

  “Hi there. Looking for me?”

  Her posture snapped to attention. A five-foot-tall, half man, half goat satyr had materialized beside her.

  “Who are you? Wait. Let me guess…”

  “Pan.”

  “That’s what I was about to say!”

  “And what I was about to say is you’re doing this all wrong.”

  Fate crossed her arms. “Doing what all wrong?”

  “Finding a mate for Gaia.”

  “How do you know about that?”

  He shrugged. “Word travels. Now, let me point out the obvious. You’re only thinking of Gaia’s faults. What about her strengths? Hobbies? Activities she enjoys? She and someone else will have more fun if they have common interests.”

  “Oh.” Fate scratched her head. “I guess you’re right. Having fun with a mate is important. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  Pan tipped his horned head. “I think I’d be a good match. I’d like to volunteer.”

  “You?” Fate covered her mouth and tried not to laugh. “Didn’t you trick some poor girl into falling in love with a donkey?”

  He rolled his eyes. “That was centuries ago, and Mr. Shakespeare exaggerated. But”—he held up one finger—“that’s something Mother Nature and I have in common. We love a good practical joke.”

  “Oh, puleeease. The two of you would wreak havoc!”

  Pan chuckled. “I daresay our dates would be a lot of fun.”

  Fate vehemently shook her head. “Get lost, Pan. You’re not the one.”

  He smirked. “Fine, I’ll go, but when you run out of other gods for her to decimate, call me.”

  “In a pig’s eye. Wait—don’t take that literally!”

  He winked and was gone.

  * * *

  Karma lifted her sunglasses. “How goes the challenge of the century, Sister?” She stretched her long legs over a lounge chair next to her private pool.

  “More like the challenge of the millennia.” Fate plopped herself on the lounge chair beside her.

  “I referred someone to you.”

  Fate’s eyes widened. “Pan? You sent Pan?”

  “No. Why? Did someone else send him?”

  “I doubt it. He said he heard rumors and wanted to volunteer.”

  Karma laughed. “What did you say?”

  Fate sighed. “A resounding ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’”

  “Good. I’m not sure he has ever made up for that horrible practical joke he pulled in the sixteenth century.”

  “I confronted him on that. He seemed to think the whole thing was wildly exaggerated, and it may have been. You know writers…if the truth isn’t quite dramatic enough, they’ll embellish it. But he did give me something to think about. Instead of trying to find someone with opposite faults, I should be looking for someone with common interests. Faults can be overlooked if you’re happy and living a better life because of your mate.”

  “Exactly true. Is that what you were doing? Looking for someone who is basically a saint?”

  “No. Why would you say that?”

  “Hon, our sister is so riddled with faults, I can’t think of anyone with opposing assets.”

  Fate let out a huge sigh.

  “Here.” Karma produced a pitcher of ice water and two tall glasses.

  “Is that all you got?”

  “I’m in need of hydration. If you want something else, get it yourself.”

  Fate snapped her fingers and held a sparkling orange mimosa. “Some hostess you are.”

  “I’m not hosting a party, Sister, and if I were, you’d be crashing it. I was just lying here, enjoying the sun. Alone.”

  Fate rose. “Well, pardon me. I didn’t realize I needed an engraved invitation to come to you for support.”

  Karma waved away her remark. “Sit back down. Of course I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.”

  Fate shook her head. “Unbelievable. I’m not in tears. I just thought two heads would be better than one.”

  “So you’re rethinking my offer to help. Hey, if you want me to come up with a list of assholes to punish by setting them up with her, I can help you and myself both.”

  Fate laughed. “Yeah, right. Like any of our gods wouldn’t see that coming.”

  “Who said it has to be a god?”

  “What are you suggesting? A human who knows nothing of the paranormal world? That’s exactly what she doesn’t want.”

  Karma shrugged. “Well, it’s either that or a paranormal. Flip a coin.”

  Fate was about to laugh until she realized Karma might be onto something. There were plenty of men, both human and paranormal, who could give Gaia a run for her money—so to speak. And some knew about gods and goddesses, even worshipped them.

  “Most men would cower from her, but there are a few with the self-confidence to stand up to her and not crumble when faced with her abilities,” Karma was saying.

  “Perhaps…” Fate tapped her lip as she mentally ran through a list of men she’d destined for greatness but whom she hadn’t found mates for. There weren’t many. “Is there any world leader without a mate?” Fate asked.

  “None who actually deserve one at the moment.”

  “How about someone smart and selfless? Do you know of any heroes with very high IQs?”

  “Aren’t those two things antithetical? How smart is it to run into a burn
ing building or sacrifice yourself in another way?” Karma asked. “We’d be back to square one.”

  Fate snorted. “Well, there goes the only suggestion the modern muses came up with.”

  Karma gave a slight shrug. “Gaia isn’t all bad, you know. In fact, deep down, she has some very positive traits.”

  Fate snickered. “Must be deeper than I’ve ever looked.”

  * * *

  Aaron wandered aimlessly around his large living room. He had immediately retired from the Boston hospital where he’d worked for thirty years as a cardiac surgeon. Kind of necessary since he’d been diagnosed with essential tremors. At last, he dropped into his favorite chair, and as soon as he did, his black-and-white cat jumped onto his lap.

  “Hi, Cat. I’m sorry we never gave you a more imaginative name, but you came when Ruthie called, so in a way, it’s your fault.” He scratched behind the cat’s furry ear, and the feline began to purr. On the housekeeper’s day off like this, he had no one to talk to but his cat—not that he talked to Mrs. Rivera very much. He had to keep his family’s magical witch power a secret, and it was easier to do if he didn’t communicate much with people who had no knowledge of magic and the paranormal.

  “Can I confide in you, Cat? Of course I can. You won’t tell anyone, will you, boy?” He sighed deeply. “My hand trembled during a transplant. I can’t afford to nick an artery if even one finger trembles.”

  He ran his currently steady hand over the cat’s soft back. “I have a beautiful million-dollar home in Brookline, but what’s a home without a family in it? No offense. You’re part of the family, but you don’t take up much room. What are we doing here?”

  He answered, “I’m talking to myself. That’s what I’m doing.”

  He let out a huge groan. Despite feeling odd about it, he continued his musing aloud. “My wife died two decades ago. You weren’t around then. I’ve raised my daughters, and they’re both living their own lives in their own homes, starting families. My nest is empty. Again, no offense. We’ll call it empty-ish.

  “I miss my daughters, who I could talk to frankly about our Wiccan roots. I have one useless power. The power of invisibility.” He chuckled bitterly. “I might as well be invisible right now. Couldn’t have gotten a useful power, like my girls’ power to save one life a day with supernatural intervention.”