Magnus and a Love Beyond Words

by Knightley, Diana

  We stopped at the garderobe to pee and then went to our room.

  I walked through the door of our bedroom and stopped still in my tracks overcome with emotion. “Oh I didn’t...” I walked to the bed and ran my fingertips along the rough fur of the bearskin cover and — “I didn’t realize it would bring it all back like this, Magnus. You and I, we were so broken the last time we were here.” I dropped onto the bed and curled into the fetal position running my palm over the bedding. “You were here with the oxygen machine and I was so scared you were going to die—” I rolled onto my back and lay spreadeagled. “And I was here, losing you, and I was too broken to be able to—”

  Magnus dropped our bags. He climbed beside me and lay with his chin resting on my tummy. “You have never lost me, mo reul-iuil. Nae once.”

  I put my hand on his jaw. “In other lifetimes I lose you over and over again.”

  “Nae here. I am here, ye are here. We are together. You haena lost me and ye winna allow it. You are a terrible arse, ye would fight tae keep me.”

  We both laughed. Mine was a little sad though.

  His smile drew down. “You are bein’ so sad again, mo reul-iuil.”

  “My heart broke right here on this bed.”

  “Aye, but we patched it here on this bed too.” He wriggled up and kissed me right on top of a breast above my bodice then he rested his head there. I ran my fingers through his hair and looked at him.

  He grinned with a twinkle in his eye. “Can I show ye a place where I have always wanted tae have ye? Tis nae here on our sad heartbreak bed and is nae in the hall or on the stair, tis a better place.”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He hopped from the bed, a lumbering bear light on his feet. “You will need a blanket. Perhaps more than one.”

  I stood and he gathered the wool blanket from our bed. I pulled a quilt from our bags. “Where to?”

  He took me by the hand and led me through the halls.

  Chapter 52

  We arose from the stairwell on the high walls of the castle. I crossed to the edge and looked. The parapet was partially crumbled from the battle we brought here months ago. The ground was a long long, four stories down.

  “Lay out the blanket, mo reul-iuil. I will dismiss the guard.”

  I glanced over my shoulder as I spread the wool blanket and saw a man on the far edge. Magnus spoke to him briefly and passed him something. Then the guard left. “What did you give him?”

  “I gave him a piece of candy. It should keep him for some time.” He sat on the wool blanket beside me. “Turn around and I will work your lacings.”

  I sat in front of him, pulling my hair from its band while he untied my lacings in the moonlight. It didn’t take long before my bodice was over my head and off my arms to the ground beside us. My loose linen shift was now a comfortable nightgown after the binding of the bodice.

  I lay back and he lay beside me and offered his bicep to rest my head and we both looked up. Stars were flung from one side of the sky to the other, the Milky Way stretching through the middle like I had never seen it before, bright and twinkling and diamond-encrusted. It was breathtaking.

  “See this sky, Kaitlyn? Tis always the same heavens wherever we are.”

  “True.” I wrapped my hand around the curve of his bicep, feeling the strength there in his bent arm. He was at rest but still so strong. “But here’s the thing about the heavens, Magnus — what do you see?”

  “The stars laid out for us, tae guide us, rionnag. Tis majestic and comfortin’ that they are always there in every time, stalwart and eternal.”

  We both stared at the sky. “What does ‘runak’ mean?”

  “Star.”

  “Oh.”

  We were both quiet for a time.

  I added, “I see something totally different.”

  “Ye do?”

  “I told you once we send spaceships up, but did you know, Magnus, we have sent ships out to see what is out there and they just go? It’s endless — billions and billions of stars flung out. What I see are the stars blown apart, not in one layer, but deep, moving and shifting. We will never know even a small bit of it. It’s terrifying actually that the eternal sky is so big. It proves we are insignificant. We mean nothing.”

  “Och, ye are in a mood.”

  He chuckled and I giggled into his chest.

  “So what ye are saying — there is a man in a ship and he is explorin’ the skies? He must be the bravest man God has ever created. He sees this black night and says, ‘I want tae go see what lies inside it’? That man is nae insignificant. The men who built the ship, the men who steer it? They arna insignificant. They are warriors. The stars daena prove we are unimportant, they are there for us tae prove our courage in every century.”

  I looked at his face. “Jesus Christ Magnus, you are—”

  He grinned at me. “I am what, right?” He put on a falsetto voice. “‘Master Magnus ye are absolutely right, this sky is majestic and I winna argue on it anymore.’”

  He laughed, his chest jiggling under my head as I laughed along with him.

  I said, “Master Magnus, you are perfectly right, let’s wave up at the man.” I waved. “Hello, courageous man exploring the universe.”

  Magnus kept watching the stars. His breathing slowed. I watched them for a moment then I curled onto his chest and watched his jawline, where it met his neck, the tendons and sinews under his skin, the stubble of a new beard growth, the lobe of his ear with the jagged scar from the battles after our wedding... I could see his breaths, the beat of his heart, all contained within this small space, everything that kept him living, right there.

  While he watched the infinite sky, I watched the up-close bit of him, finite and human and fragile. I wriggled up and pressed my lips to that spot, feeling the thrum of his heart against my mouth, breathing in the scent of him.

  Then after a long moment he pulled me onto his body, loose gown, warm under the quilt. My lips met his and we kissed with our bodies pressed along the full length of each other, a thin layer of fabric between. His hands rumpled my shift in fistfuls and without breaking our kiss I struggled his kilt up.

  I kissed him, my fingers wrapped through his hair, while he explored me and then settled me down on him with an exhale into each other’s skin. I peeked at his face: closed eyes, concentration. “We are outside, under the stars,” I whispered.

  “Och aye, tis a good place tae have ye.”

  My breaths were fast and panting. “You’re in my castle on a castle, it’s very funny if you think—”

  Magnus chuckled, his hips working against mine. “You arna usually so talkative durin’ m’takeovers of your fortifications.”

  I giggled, a quiet laugh kept just between us. I ran my hands along this chest, up his arms, pushing them above his head, where I held them, my body spread deliciously along his length as we rocked together. My temple pressed to his cheek, a lovely friction. “I’m just happy. I really like you,” after another beat I added, “and your cannon.” I laughed against his skin.

  “Och, I ken ye do, mo reul-iuil, tae come with me tae the high walls.”

  “This?” My voice was breathy near his ear. “You, my love, can always come into me in my high walls.”

  We both laughed. His chuckle shaking my chest. “Tis nae what I said, though twill work for what I meant.”

  Our laughs entwined, vibrating the ether, rising into the clear sky, sound waves rolling on and on ever-expansive. I rose up, sat fully down, and arched back with a breathless moan. I rode him — my hands pressed to his wide chest. His hands directing my thighs, breaths and moans and linen fabric veiling and surrounding me. Linen stretched across his torso and yet we were unclothed and wrapped in the quilt — the cool air on our faces and hands, the warm heat where we were pressed together. And then after a long — lovely — slow — time I shifted my body and energy and finished on him hard and fast and oh. God.

  I collapsed on him pulling my arms in for
warmth, nestled against his chest his arms around me.

  His hands wrapped through my hair. He slid from inside me and slowly I rolled to his side, and we lay there, our breathing resuming a normal pace, our heartbeats slowing. His body grew heavy.

  I mumbled, “Are we sleeping here?”

  “Nae, mo reul-iuil. But I am nae ready tae go downstairs. Go tae sleep I will get ye tae our room.”

  My last glance before I fell asleep was Magnus’s eyes open watching the endless sky.

  Chapter 53

  I woke to a light day and a warm bed. The wool blanket on me and the quilt. I had no idea how he got all of us from the roof in the night, but he did and it made me feel so taken care of like a child with all my needs met. I pulled the covers to my cheek. Heartbreak bed felt a little like secure and comfortable bed now. I looked up at Magnus. He looked down, his brow lifted, he grinned.

  “Did I do good, mo reul-iuil?”

  I nodded and pulled the covers up more.

  After a few moments of wordless comfort he said, “But we must rise, Quentin will be married this morn.”

  * * *

  We were fully dressed by the time there was a quiet knock on the door, and Lizbeth’s voice, “Kaitlyn?”

  When I opened the door, she entered with a basket over her arm. “I have brought ye presents.” She looked at Magnus. “What are ye still doin’ here Young Magnus? The men are risen, ye arna the newly married ones, ye have tae be the ones that run the place while the newly married couples do their couplin’.”

  Magnus chuckled, kissed me on the cheek and joked, “You heard her, Kaitlyn, she is an auld hag now, nae wantin’ anyone tae be in love anymore.”

  Lizbeth laughed and batted his arm as he left.

  She put the basket on the small table near the fire and uncovered the contents. “First, ye be wantin’ this.” She held my ring.

  “Thank you thank you thank you.” I threw my arms around her, kissed her cheek, and put it on my finger. I looked at it, back in its place, the garnet shimmering, the gold glistening. “Thank you.”

  She patted my forearm. “Nae, thank you, sister. You saved m’life, I am sure of it.”

  She pulled out the first aid kit I had left in her room. In her basket I could see the flashlight and other pieces of equipment we had left when we were captured. “Much of this is verra dangerous.”

  “I agree.” I took the two-way radios and the flashlights from the basket. “I think though, this kit is important for you to keep. I don’t think it will cause you any trouble. You have a safe place, right? I’ll show you what it’s all for.” I showed her how to use the alcohol to clean the implements, how to apply the antibiotic cream, and how to put on the bandages. “If there was a deep cut and it was relatively clean, you could use this, making sure it’s very very clean, to stitch the wound.”

  “The skin, Kaitlyn?”

  I nodded. “It’s what I did with you. It’s what the doctors did with Magnus’s side. Ask him to show you his scar and you’ll get a feel for it. But keep this clean, and I’ll bring more next time I come.”

  We put everything she was going to keep back in the basket and I took the other stuff, the unsafe things, and packed them into my backpack.

  She asked, “Are you ready tae help this young child get married? She is all a’fluster with worry and excitement. Tis quite a lot of carryin’ on.”

  Lizbeth and I went downstairs to what was to be Quentin and Beaty’s room. We knocked and entered. Beaty was in the middle, her face flushed red, her hair sticking out, still in her shift, bright, red rouge on her cheeks, a weird dark red lipstick on, white powder on her skin.

  Lizbeth said, “Beaty, what means this, ye arna dressed? Where are your helpers?”

  “I sent them away, they weren’t helping! I daena think my makeup is right. I am supposed to be beautiful and they were clucking about me like I was ugly and I’m so worried.” Beaty clutched her shift and just about tore it. Her eyes were wide with fear. “What if he daena come tae the church? What if he daena want tae marry me?”

  I placed an arm around her and patted her shoulder. “Poor, poor Beaty, of course he is coming to the church. He has traveled all this way to get to you.” I directed, “Put your arms up, sweetie.”

  Lizbeth pulled the bodice over her arms and snugly down around her middle and matter-of-factly laced it. I held Beaty’s hands. “I know you just met me but I went through this same thing with Magnus. I was terrified he wouldn’t show and—”

  “Did he?”

  “Um yeah, he showed up at the church and we got married. That’s why I’m Mrs Campbell now.”

  “Och, tis right, he married ye and he is a king and ye arna much tae look at...”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Nae, I am sorry. I dinna mean it that way.” She burst into tears. “I just meant ye arna a queen. Ye daena make me avert m’eyes. Ye daena have a crown, tis what I meant.”

  “Now see, you’re right, I am just a plain ol’woman and Magnus married me. Quentin will be there at the church to marry you because you are beautiful and young and you make him laugh.”

  “He has a verra wonderful laugh, daena ye think so?” Lizbeth began to wrap Beaty’s blonde hair up on her head.

  I found a scrap of cloth and dipped it in water and smudged and wiped at her makeup. “Yes I do. We’ve known each other since we were bairn and when I was first married and Magnus had to go away for a while Quentin and I became very close friends. He’s a great guy and he’s very loyal. If he says he will be at the church, he means to be there.”

  Her hands were shaking. “How do I look?”

  I had her makeup much less clown-like. “You look beautiful. Doesn’t she, Lizbeth?”

  “You look quite a beauty, young Beaty, he winna ken how tae behave he will be so overcome with the beauty of Beaty.” She laughed merrily.

  Beaty looked around the room. “This is my new room. I had tae move here tae the castle and it...”

  Lizbeth asked, “Where did ye sleep at home?”

  “In the kitchen. I used tae share it with m’sisters but they have all gone away tae be married and now there is a dog and a pig and some other animals and there is an excessive noise from them...”

  Lizbeth smoothed the tartan on Beaty’s shoulders. “Well, that must have been verra lonely for ye last night.” She pulled Beaty’s chin up. “But now ye will be sharin’ the bed with your husband and soon ye will have bairn about your skirts and ye will be dreamin’ on that one night ye had of peace and quiet.”

  Beaty shook her head. “I daena think I will ever want tae dream on it, twas verra quiet and frightenin’.”

  Lizbeth grinned. “Trust me. I am an auld hag as my young brother just reminded me this morn, I have a wisdom about me in my ancient years.”

  “How auld are ye?”

  “I am a score and eight, my dear, a decade or more beyond ye. I ken the way the world works, if ye need me tae explain it, ye just come and ask.”

  Beaty nodded.

  “You can ask Kaitlyn about the world as well, but she only kens of Magnus, och Magnus, och och och Magnus. I love ye Magnus.” She grinned at me.

  I laughed, “While that may be true, I figure Beaty might just want advice from me about love.”

  Lizbeth waved a hand at me. “Och, love tis only tae give ye more babies—” She cut herself off and gave me a sad pout. “Dear sister, I am sorry I said it. I should watch my tongue.”

  “It’s okay. I hope to have a baby someday soon.”

  Lizbeth squeezed my hand. “Well, let’s go get this girl married, shall we?”

  Beaty burst into tears.

  * * *

  When we arrived at the church, I glimpsed Magnus standing behind the building. I waved him over and spoke to him privately. “She is in tears. She’s so scared. He’s here right?”

  “Aye, ” Magnus grinned. “He has some terrible fears as well.”

  “Well yeah, he would usually be planning to spend
some time before he wed her.”

  Magnus shrugged. “It worked okay for us, mo ghradh.” He noticed, “Your ring has returned,” and kissed my knuckle.

  “Lizbeth had it just like you said she would.”

  “I am always right, mo ghradh.”

  I laughed. Then added, “Will you tell him to say something nice to her when he sees her, to tell her she’s beautiful or something? Last night was her first night away from home. I mean, Quentin always surprises me, but this may be beyond him. She’s really young and she’s getting married and please tell him to be nice to her, like romantic. Should I talk to him?”

  “Nae, ye are bein’ too nervous. I will speak tae him on it.”

  Magnus disappeared around the corner to speak to Quentin and I went to speak to Lizbeth and Beaty and we were all called into the church for the wedding and then Beaty’s face went ashen and a moment later she crumpled in the dirt in front of the church.

  The men looked around to see what happened and when Quentin realized it was Beaty on the ground he rushed to her, as Lizbeth would say, ‘like a good boy.’ He knelt beside her and patted the back of her hand and brushed her hair back. “Beaty, wake up, it’s me, Quentin, are you okay?” He looked at our faces and then back at Beaty as she was beginning to revive.

  “Quenny?”

  “Yes Beaty, I’m here. We’re about to get married. You look very beautiful by the way.”

  She brushed the hair from her face with a dirty hand leaving a streak on her forehead. “Do I?”

  “Aye. You look very pretty.” He helped heave her to her feet. She held onto his arm to steady herself. “Lizbeth am I set tae rights?”

  “Nae, dear Beaty, ye have a bit of dirt...” She took the edge of her tartan to wipe the smudge from Beaty’s forehead. Then Lizbeth and I both dusted her skirts until she was deemed clean enough to enter the church.

  * * *

  This was the same village church where we had attended the wedding last Lammas Day just before all hell broke loose. We sat in the same pew and I watched Lizbeth again for cues on how to behave. Quentin was nervous but stood with the straight back I recognized from his football days, the anthem stance: wide feet, unmoving. As the ceremony went on his right leg jiggled nervously. It filled my heart. I wanted to rush up there and tell him how proud I was he was this kind of guy. How honored Magnus and I were to have him as a friend.